Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?...
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Authors: K. L. Shandwick
Everything I want
Will Alfie and Lily’s love survive?…
K. L. Shandwick
AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.
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© 2014 K. L. Shandwick. All rights reserved.
First Edition
Cover Design: Russell Cleary
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A disclaimer: This book has explicit references to sexual situations and is intended for adult readers aged 18+.
This book is a work of fiction, Names, places, characters, band names and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or names are used within the fictitious setting. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead. Band names or locales are entirely coincidental.
Published by AuthorHouse 06/17/2014
ISBN: 978-1-4969-8375-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4969-8377-0 (e)
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Contents
Chapter 13 – Telling the truth
Chapter 20 – Surprises all round
Chapter 27 – Playing with the big boys
“J
eez, Lily, will you sit still for goodness’ sake? I won’t be responsible if I injure you,” Holly huffed as she used the flat iron on my hair. I grinned into the mirror at my gorgeous, tall, blond friend. “Sorry, force of habit, you know I’m not great at this s
tuff.”
Holly twisted her lips and flicked her long, platinum blond hair, her big brown eyes smiling at me, as she wagged the straightener. “Well, that’s because you don’t like pampering. I don’t know why I’m bothering, you’re as cute as a button, and the men go ape shit for you, anyway,” she te
ased.
Holly was a beautiful, straight-talking Texas girl. She had proven herself to be a great friend to me during the past two years that I had shared an apartment with her and my friend Saffy, from Oklahoma
City.
She had been Saffy’s friend first, but when Saffy had abandoned us to move back to Oklahoma, Holly chose to stay with me in Flo
rida.
Saffy had been a long-time friend of mine, after I had met her on a camping holiday, and we planned for me to study music in Florida, where she was going to attend col
lege.
After deciding that seeing each other during vacations and traveling back and forth over Atlantic Ocean wasn’t enough for us, we were supposed to be sharing an apartment and having the time of our lives toge
ther.
We had so many plans, but they just didn’t work out. This was mainly due to my music studies and performing taking up almost every waking mo
ment.
Saffy fell into a relationship with Will, who I performed with. She began dating him almost immediately after we had met him. However, she had some unresolved issues from a previous relationship, which led to a mistrust in
men.
Neither Holly nor I knew about James, her previous boyfriend, or that she had even been in a relationship. So we were very surprised to find out that this guy she secretly loved existed, and he had decided he loved her back. Apparently she couldn’t live without him and transferred back to her home state to be with
him.
This happened about three months after I had moved halfway around the world to fulfil my part of the bargain betwee
n us.
After I had gone home for Christmas, Saffy had upped and left ‘The Sunshine State’ to move back to Oklahoma City. She left Holly and me high and dry. Saffy never even discussed it with me, and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I figured she probably couldn’t face me
now.
There was another added complication to all of this though. I’d had oral sex with Will one night, when he was still with Saffy. If I said it happened by accident, well the start of it anyway, I didn’t think there was a person on earth who would agree wit
h me.
So, although she never found out about it, I really couldn’t judge her for anything that she did. In hindsight, I didn’t hold her leaving against her. Being in a complex relationship with Alfie had blown my theories clean out of the water about what I was willing to do for
love.
When I had swapped London for Florida at twenty-one years old, I was naïve and innocent. Although, I would have never believed it at the
time.
During the early months of being in Miami, I had made a few massive misjudgements regarding my relationships with
men.
I had been so single-minded about studying in Miami that I had never allowed myself to get involved with any boys at home, for fear of someone capturing my heart and putting an end to my plans with S
affy.
Holly laid the straightener down on the countertop and met my gaze in the mirror. “Perfect.” She smiled affectionately, before leaning in to hu
g me.
“I’m so proud of you, honey. This is going to be a fabulous day. We need to start getting dressed; it’s nearly time to l
eave.”
She handed me a Buck’s Fizz to drink. “Only the one. Remember, I don’t want you staggering and slurring during your graduation. You know how you get.” She winked, and I chuckled at her playful com
ment.
I stood and walked over to her as she began winding the wire of the hair straighteners as she tidied them away and hugged her. “You have no idea what you did for my sanity Holly. I will never know how to thank you properly for all that you’ve done for me during these past two y
ears.”
She flashed her gorgeous smile. “Oh, I have a few ideas on that, don’t you worry about it. I’ve been quietly making a list,” she te
ased.
I held her hand. “Seriously, Holly, I could never repay you for all the support you have given me. You pulled me back from the depths of despair and put me back together again, more than
once.”
I felt tears begin to well in my eyes. “Yeah, I’m great like that. But like I said honey, I have a list, you’ll pay alright,” she teased again, trying to make light of my genuine heartfelt thanks for her love and guidance during some really horrible times. This was especially true during the past eighteen months
here.
“Now then, Lily, we’re not going to get all maudlin about things today. This is a very happy day for you, honey. Let’s get you fixed so that you sparkle in that drab graduation gown of y
ours.”
With that, she bustled herself out of the bathroom and into my bedroom before opening my closet door to find the outfit we had shopped for toge
ther.
I pulled myself out of my funk and stepped into the black and white silk, figure hugging dress that we had chosen. It felt luxurious next to my skin. My golden tan made my blue eyes sparkle and the white of my eyes shine brig
hter.
Looking like any other girl from Florida now, I looked like a completely different person than when I had moved here with my creamy, pale, skin and contrasting long dark
hair.
My hair been cut and styled from the long, dark brown, curly hair I used to have. It was still long, but now cut into a style with long layers and fell midway down my
back.
I always wore it straightened now, and it framed my face, seeming to make my blue eyes appear bigger. Holly loved it and said, “It’s a grown-up’s hai
rcut.”
Holly turned the radio up. “I love this song. It makes me feel great when I hear it, but it also reminds me of you.” She was referring to Bruno Mars ‘Just the Way You
Are.’
I smiled. It reminded me of her as well. The song was one of my favorites too. We had played this song in the car several times on the way to the Florida Keys, when we had a ‘girlie’ weekend last
fall.
We both began to sing and dance around the room to the music, each of us trying to outdo the other as to who could sing it the lou
dest.
Holly grinned at me, and we burst out laughing after the song finished playing, and I turned to face the mirror. I began to put some mascara on, and my mind flitted to the boys who were coming to see me this after
noon.
My band, XrAid, consisted of four hot men plus me. They were guys who’d been my world for the last eighteen months. Cody, Lennon, Digs, and Shawn had shown me loyalty and had protected me from day one, and I loved all of them dearly. To be honest, I didn’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t been for
them.
I think if they hadn’t come into my life when they did, I would probably be at home in London now, working in some dingy night
club.
As if on cue my cell buzzed. I swiped the screen, and Cody’s ID flashed with a text mes
sage.
Cody: Good luck today honey. I hope you’re wearing something that isn’t too distracting up there. :
wink.
I smirked at his text. My bandmates had a standing joke about how I looked. They were always ragging on me about what I was wearing and telling me I was too distracting if I wore something a little ri
squé.
Obviously, they were afraid I would meet someone and leave the band. I couldn’t blame them; that was really how I had gotten my start with them. The original female in the band had met someone and left with him to follow his ca
reer.
They should know me better than that. I split with up with Alfie for that exact reason. I couldn’t give up everything I had worked for to follow his career, no matter how much I loved him. I knew I would have ended up resenting him further down the line if I
did.
In another life Alfie would have been, without a doubt, the perfect man for me. His appearance, the way we connected, and how he made me feel were the things I still missed about him every
day.
The way those hazel eyes took on that green hue when he looked at me, showing his desire for me. And how those same eyes had worshipped me with an intense stare, especially after he’d told me he was in love with me. How they looked as we locked eyes with each o
ther.
Those same eyes, searching my soul when we made love, still made my throat constrict. A lump formed there, making it difficult to swallow, whenever that particular memory flashed back to our time toge
ther.
His eyes were a hazel color, but they changed like mood stones, and were mostly green when he was with me. They took on that green hue when he was turned on, excited, or a
ngry.
When I think of his eyes, memories flooded me of the times he hovered above me on the bed giving me a sexy, lopsided s
mile.
It always took my breath away and never failed to thrill me. When he smiled wide enough, the one dimple in his left cheek would appear, and it melted my heart every
time.
Alfie was a case of the right guy for me, at the wrong time, and in the wrong circumstances too. My heart had beat to his tune far too much at the time, and it has taken me a long time to feel okay about us,
now.
Our chance meeting during my registration day at college was one that will stay with me. He made a proposition; which, had I been offered the same now, I would have run a mile
from.
Alfie offered me a no strings, sexual relationship, which in my naivety I had thought I would be able to handle. We both lived and breathed music, and I was in a place where I didn’t want the complication of a boyfriend. I was young and sexually inexperienced and, I guess, ready to experiment. I mean, what in the hell was I thin
king?
It was probably the worst decision of my life to date, because I fell for him like a stone falling from a great height. So smitten with love for him, I struggled for a long time to go forward with my life after we spli
t up.
These turbulent times during the first year of college were horrible for me. The highs and the lows I endured in the following months, when I was learning to live without him, were excrucia
ting.
Alfie kept telling me for most of our relationship that he couldn’t love me, but I fell for him anyway. The other thing about our complex relationship was, although he kept reiterating it to me, Alfie wouldn’t or couldn’t leave me a
lone.
He seemed to keep playing with, and plucking at, my heart even after he knew what my feelings were for him. Falling for Alfie was too easy. I couldn’t believe how quickly it had happened. I was drawn to him before I even saw
him.
I think I fell in love with his voice first, and when I saw who it belonged to, I guess I just kept on falling for the rest of him as well. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I still thought, even now, he was definitely the sexiest man a
live.
Alfie was drop dead gorgeous. All I had to do was allow his name to enter my mind and a mental image of him was instantly in my mind’s eye. The image in there was not really about how he looked at the present time, but rather the man that was with me the night before he lef
t me.
Alfie was tall, lean, and muscular, but not bulky. He had a strong, athletic build. His beautiful, even features, and gorgeous, full lips were to die for. And the way he could always wear just about anything and ooze sex appeal. Alfie was a magnet for w
omen.
Can still remember how his dark blond hair with sun kissed tips felt when my fingers thrummed through it. I would also never forget the feel of his satiny, smooth, silky skin when the palms of my hands skimmed ove
r it.
Most of all, I missed the feel and the scent of him; his big strong arms wrapping around me, and the way he felt when he pulled me into his body, keeping me c
lose.
I always sighed when I thought of him. Apart from how Alfie looked, he was super talented as a musician too. In private, he turned me on with his passionate, lusty, intense stares, and drove me wild with desire. He seemed to be completely wrapped up in me behind closed doors yet treated me like dirt in pu
blic.