Everything You Want (9 page)

My stomach churned.  She’d said
something, hadn’t she?  Would she?  Yes.  She didn’t even know
Marissa, but it would be like her.  I knew her heart was in the right place,
but I’d told her before that I didn’t need her help.  I’d work out my
issues in my own time.  At the moment, I wasn’t even sure I wanted them
worked out.  I was sure I didn’t want to drag Marissa into it.  Yes,
I wanted her, so bad.  It was hard not to reach across the small distance
between us and brush my hand down her smooth arm.  But she deserved better
than me, better than what I had to give.  It was good that Kiera had
called me when she did, and interrupted our date, because I’d started to
forget.

“Sorry,” I said after I realized I was
staring at her.  “I should’ve explained myself better before I ditched you
yesterday.  I was in a hurry.  She’d just called me and I was really
angry with my brother-in-law, and really worried about her, and my nephew.”

“You didn’t ditch me.  Kiera already
explained.  I understand.”

“I still feel bad about it, though.”

She reached over and touched my shoulder,
a smile lighting her eyes.  A spark shot down all the way down my arm to
my fingers.  “Don’t.  It wasn’t your fault.”

She let her arm fall, brushing the length
of my arm as it fell, sending a chill down my spine.  Words escaped me, so
I jumped off the couch and went to the kitchen.  If she touched me like
that again, I didn’t think I’d be able to convince myself that I didn’t need to
touch her back.

“Are you sure you don’t want
something?  I was about to fry some hamburgers,” I said, looking over my
shoulder.

“Yes, I’m stuffed.”  Marissa glanced
at the stove and then looked back at me, skeptically.  “You can cook?” she
asked.

“Not really.  Just simple
stuff.  Hamburgers, eggs, grilled cheese.”

She laughed.  “Sounds good to me.”

Kiera walked back in. 

“How is he?” I asked, pulling the skillet
out of the cabinet beside the stove.

“He’s fine.  Not a peep.”  She
slid past me and grabbed the ground beef, cheese, and a tomato out of the
refrigerator.

Marissa got up and walked over to
us.  “You guys are busy.  I think I’m going to go.  I need to
let my dog out.  She’s probably wondering where I am.”

“Are you sure?  We’ve got
plenty.  Kieran makes a mean cheeseburger,” Kiera said, nudging my
shoulder with hers.

Marissa chuckled.  “I’m sure. 
Thanks for having me in, though.  It was nice to meet you, Kiera.”

“You too, Riss,” Kiera said.

I shot Kiera a questioning look. 

“What?” she asked.  “That’s cute,
right?”  She looked to Marissa.

Marissa smiled and nodded.  “That’s
what my stepsister calls me.”

“See, there you go,” Kiera said, turning
back to her vegetable. 

As soon as she was out the door I turned
on Kiera.  “You said something to her, didn’t you?”

“Did she tell you that?” she asked, not
looking up from the tomato she was slicing.

“No, but—”

“Then I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”

“Come on, Kiera,” I said, trying to keep
the exasperation out of my voice.

“Do you want your tomato sliced thick or
thin?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but
stopped.  “Thick,” I said.  I heaved a sigh and greased the skillet.

Marissa

I shut the door behind me and bent down
to greet Tulip, George, and Oatmeal.  I attached Tulip’s lease to her faded
pink collar and walked her outside.  She clomped down the steps behind me
and bounced over to her favorite patch of grass, right in front of my
downstairs neighbor’s porch.

A big smile spread across my face and
butterflies stirred in my stomach. 
Kieran liked me
.  I felt
like I was in junior high all over again.

Tulip and I walked back up the stairs to
join the cats.  I poured myself a glass of tea once I was inside and
settled down on the couch, flipping the TV on as my herd of animals surrounded
me.  There was no way I was going to be able to relax, though.

I thought back to my date with
Camden.  It was nice.  Pleasant.  He was what I thought I
wanted.  But being around Kieran was exhilarating.  I didn’t feel
that for Camden.  I knew that now, especially after the kiss.  I
imagined kissing Kieran.  A warm feeling expanded in my chest. 
Somehow, I knew it would be amazing.

When Kieran had first stepped out of the
bathroom and seen me on his couch, and he’d looked like he’d been shot, I was
afraid that he didn’t want me there.  But after he entered the bedroom,
his sister explained that he just didn’t like people to see the scar, which I
already knew.  I could understand why.  His left arm was marked with
a long, wide, deep mark running down the entire length of it that was actually
quite startling at first sight.  Kiera said he thought they would repulse
other people.  But nothing about Kieran was ugly to me.  When I saw
him step out into the light of the hallway, the only words going through my
mind were breathtaking.  Devastating.  Beautiful.

How could I have not noticed
before?  I mean, I’d always thought he was attractive, but ever since the
storm, every time I saw him, he made my heart speed up.  Seeing him like
that tonight took my breath away.

I remembered the faded black and red
swirling letters on his chest that spelled out the name “Becca.”  Jealousy
had surged through me and I wanted to ask Kiera who she was, but it wasn’t any
of my business.  Kieran said he’d been younger when he’d gotten his
tattoos.  I figured she was just some old forgotten ex-girlfriend.

I changed into my favorite Victoria’s
Secret Pink plaid pajama pants and a huge prom t-shirt from high school that
Shayla had left when she’d visited me a couple months ago.  I helped Tulip
up on the bed and crawled under the sheets, a huge smile still on my face as I
clicked the lamp off.

The next day at work they had me working
with Kori, which was a huge relief.  I was feeling really awkward about
the Camden situation.  I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go out with him
again.  It wasn’t so much about him, he was fine.  But he wasn’t
Kieran.  The way I felt when I was near Kieran…

Camden didn’t even come close.

Around noon, Greta walked up to Kori’s
desk.  “Is it okay for her to go on lunch now?” she asked Kori, who had
just gotten back from her break.

“Sure,” Kori replied.

I grabbed my purse out from under the
desk and followed Greta out the front doors.  I was a little surprised she
wanted to go with me.  I’d gotten the impression that she was a little upset
with me for going out with Camden.  I didn’t know what she had against
him, but she didn’t have anything to worry about.  I wasn’t interested in
him after all.

“How’d your date go?” she asked as we
walked down the street toward our usual spot.

“Eh.”  I shrugged.

“Eh?”  She raised an eyebrow.

“It was okay.”

“But…?” she prodded.

“I don’t know.  Don’t get me
wrong.  I like Camden.  I think we’d be better just being friends,
though.  Or maybe just friendly coworkers.”

“You don’t want to go out with him
again?”

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t.  I just
don’t think it’s going anywhere.”

We walked in silence a few feet before
she said,  “It’s because of your neighbor guy, right?”

I bit my lip to control my smile.

A huge grin broke out over her
face.  “I knew it.”

“You knew what?” I asked, raising one
brow.

“That you were into him.  You can
see it in your eyes.”

Yes, well, I never had been very good at
hiding my emotions.

“Okay, yes.  It’s because of
him.  He just—I don’t know—he makes me feel excited, like I’m
more alive when I’m around him.”

“Oh, yeah.  You’ve got it bad,” she
said with a satisfied smile.

We ordered Greek salads and drinks and
sat down at a table by the big front window, looking out over the street and
chatted about work as we ate.  Greta told me about Teena’s latest
escapades with Brian the loan officer, and we took turns gasping and making
grossed-out faces.  All the while one thought kept running through my
head, making my insides buzz.

Kieran likes me
.

Greta was right.  I did have it bad.

Kieran

Instead of walking straight to my door
after work, I took a detour to Marissa’s.  She wouldn’t be home yet, so I
just stuck the Post-it that I’d wrote earlier during my prep hour to her front door. 
I really needed to get her phone number.  Texting would have been so much
easier.

By seven forty-five, I still hadn’t heard
from her.  Kiera was in the bathroom giving Skylar a bath and I was
sitting on the couch, surfing on my laptop and trying not to think.  Maybe
she didn’t even see my note.  I thought I heard her come home around
five-thirty, but it could’ve been wishful thinking.

Just as I was sliding my cell phone in my
pocket and looking for my keys, I heard a soft knock on the door.  I
opened it and sucked in a deep breath.

Marissa was standing outside, wearing a fitted
red t-shirt and a pair of dark curve-hugging jeans.  Her long blond hair
was straight and sleek, her eyes were outlined in smoky black eyeliner, and her
lips were full and shiny.  Don’t get me wrong; I thought Marissa looked
great everyday, but this…wow.  I mostly only saw her in her work clothes
and I’d never seen her hair straightened.  She looked amazing.  It
took me a moment to close my mouth, which had been hanging open ever since I
opened the door.

Her brow creased, and I realized that I’d
stared a second too long.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, looking
down at her outfit.

“No, you look great,” I said.

“Sorry I’m a little late.  It took
me some time to get cleaned up.”

“It’s fine.  I’m not in a hurry.”

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, grabbing my keys off
the end table by the couch.  “Kiera, I’ll be out late.  Lock the door
behind me, okay?”

“Okay.  Have fun!” she called back.

I followed Marissa down the stairs, walking
ahead of her in the parking lot to unlock my car.  I opened the door for
her and she slid in.

“Do you know the band?” Marissa asked
when I got in the car.

“No.  My friend Alisha knows them,”
I said, turning the key and shifting into gear.  “I’ve seen them play a
couple of times.  They’re decent.” 

She nodded.  “Thanks for inviting
me.”

I turned and smiled at her.  “No
problem.”

It didn’t take long to get to the club
where Alisha’s friends were playing.  I lucked out and found a parking spot
fairly close to the building.

Ollie was waiting for us beside the door. 
He had a girl with him I hadn’t seen before.  He always had a different
girl, every weekend.  You could say he had commitment issues, kind of like
myself.  This girl was tall and super skinny, and had shoulder-length
jet-black hair with thick, blunt bangs.  She was wearing a sleeveless
purple shirt, which revealed the flowery tattoo that snaked up her left arm
from her wrist to her shoulder.  She was a far cry from the blonde in the
light blue Polo shirt he’d introduced us to last weekend.  He’d met that
one in the campus bookstore.  I wondered where he met this one.

Ollie smiled as we approached and slipped
an arm around the girl’s waist.  “Kieran, the is Vivienne.  She’s in
my contemporary poetry class.”

Ollie was a perpetual student.  He’d
graduated a semester earlier than me with a BA in Art history.  He was
currently working on his second degree in English lit, or Drama, or Philosophy,
or maybe all three.  He told us that he wanted more enrichment in his
life, but I was fairly certain he was just in it to pick up girls and live off
of student loans.

“Vivi, this is Kieran and…” he trailed
off, gesturing to my date.

“Marissa,” I filled in for him.

“Marissa.”  He squeezed her hand
gently.  “Nice to meet you.  I’m Ollie.  Kieran’s probably told
you about me.  I’m pretty awesome.”

Marissa laughed.

“Where are Shannon and Alisha?” I asked.

“Already inside.  Come on.” 
Ollie took Vivienne by the hand and we followed them inside. 

I did not like this particular
club.  It was too small and always crowded.  I only agreed to come
tonight so that I’d have somewhere to invite Marissa.  We cut our way
through the crowd to where Alisha and Shannon were standing close to the stage.

Shannon’s eyes widened a little as we
approached.  When I was standing right next to him he nudged me, leaned in
and whispered, “That her?”