Exhale (2 page)

“All right, I’ll text you when Kyle and I are on our way.” He smiled.

“Great,” I said with more enthusiasm than I actually felt. He
and
Kyle would be picking us up. Awesome. My heart rate returned to normal as my chest tightened with disappointment.

I stalked off to retrieve the things Mom had sent me for, struggling to shake free from the silly frustration at the mention of Kyle’s name. Neither Derek nor Kyle would matter tomorrow night, because I was going to be meeting up with Cal Carlson, I reminded myself.

CHAPTER TWO

Music pulsed from inside Tanner Ash’s beachside cabin. It mingled with the laughter and raised voices from inside the house, and floated down to where I stood on the pier, wrapped in Cal Carlson’s arms. This is where I had wanted to be since my freshman year when he’d first moved here to Dansburke. That’s not entirely true. Derek’s arms were the only place I had
really
wanted to be, but at the moment, Cal’s were the ones that had wrapped themselves around me and his lips were the ones pressed against mine.

I parted my lips slightly, granting Cal’s tongue access to the deepest parts of my mouth that it seemed to desire so furiously.  His kisses grew sloppier and the pace picked up. Cal’s warm hands—slightly calloused from playing football and whatever the heck else it was that he did—slid up underneath my tank top and began roaming across my stomach, inching upward.

I tried to still my lips in an effort to force him to move his at a much slower pace so that I could get into it, but I wound up being slobbered to death even more in the process. Disappointment slashed through me. I couldn’t believe that I’d dreamed of this moment for so long, and when it finally happened, it sucked. I didn’t know which I needed more—a paper towel to wipe the slobber off my face, or another beer to get more on Cal’s level in order to make this kiss, and what it would eventually lead up to, more enjoyable.

My lips must have stalled while I was thinking when I shouldn’t have been. Cal took that moment to give my swollen lips a break, and make his way down the side of my neck, leaving what I imagined to be a slug trail of slobber behind. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I’d completely lost interest in Cal and what we were doing. In fact, I was beginning to feel a little sick at the amount of slobber he was putting all over me. I leaned back as my toes curled in my sandals. The sudden desire to be as far away from Cal as I could possibly be gripped me.

“I think I could use a refill,” I said, still managing to sound breathy and a little bit flirty, even through my disgust, unsettled stomach, and disappointment with Cal’s kissing ability as I released my grip from his T-shirt. “What about you?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he replied, his wet lips making their way back to mine again.

“Well, I’m gonna go get myself something then.” I tried to take a step back, but it didn’t do me any good. Cal refused to let go or even to remove his slimy lips from my skin. “I’ll be right back, okay?” I said, giving him a little shove and letting a, what I hoped he would deem, flirty giggle escape.

“Come on, Katie…let’s finish what we started.” His hands tightened around my hips as his lips trailed along my jawline. “I know you’ve wanted this for a while. I’ve seen you watching me.”

Panic hit me in the gut. Its iciness spread outward and jolted my brain awake; removing the fuzzy haze of the alcohol I’d had to drink. The sensation of his hands roaming beneath my tank top, and the sudden harshness of his slobbery kisses against my skin, had images I didn’t like flashing through my mind.

“I’m just gonna go grab another drink real quick. I’ll be right back,” I insisted, proud that I didn’t say something boldly stupid to burst his ego and agitate the situation even more, like
yeah well, that was before I found out you sucked at kissing, buddy
. Now was not the time for callousness.

Cal pulled my tank top up, exposing my bra, and buried his head into my chest, peppering the sensitive skin with kisses. “I don’t think so…,” he muttered against my skin as his fingertips dug into my hips.

Every cell in my body began to zing with adrenaline. My hands grew clammy at the same time as my leg muscles tightened. I licked my lips and let out a nervous laugh as I attempted to step back and peel myself from his grasp. “Cal, come on.” My brain was rapidly shooting directions at me, waiting for the precise fight or flight moment to take advantage of. “Stop, okay?”

I glanced around. We were the only ones out on the pier, but we weren’t the only ones outside the cabin. A small campfire had been made and there were a few people hanging around it. I wondered suddenly if I were to yell loud enough, would they hear me?

Cal’s hands reached around and fumbled with the clasp on my bra. “I’m just trying to give you what you’ve wanted so long.” He breathed against my ear, making the hair on the nape of my neck stand up straight.

“You’re wrong, I don’t want this. Not anymore,” I said, pushing him away with all my might.

He stumbled backward, but managed to catch his balance quickly. “What?  You’re serious?”

I stalked back down the pier quickly, finally feeling like I could breathe, and called over my shoulder, “As a heart attack.”

I’d nearly made it to the end of the pier where it met with the white sand of the beach when Cal came jogging toward me. “Fuck you then, I was just trying to do you a favor!”

He shouldered past me, obviously anxious to look like he was the one who had walked away from me first, and darted back up toward the cabin. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and rubbed my chest clean with the fabric of my tank top, but still felt dirty. Doing me a favor, really?

Running my fingers through my hair, I shook my head and let out a deep breath. My legs wobbled beneath me as I slowly made my way up the bank. I caught sight of Cal’s retreating form just as he was about to enter the cabin and scowled after him. What a complete waste that crush had been.

I headed toward the campfire, deciding I would give Mr. Hissy Fit a while to sweet talk another girl who was too drunk to notice how much he sucked at kissing, before I headed back inside for that refill I wanted. The closer I got, the more illuminated the faces sitting around the fire became until I could make them all out. There were two faces in particular that put me at ease and erased any leftover jitters from what had just happened—Kyle and Derek. I moved to sit at the edge of a log closest to where I had walked up and cast a casual glance at the two brothers and those surrounding the fire. Someone had just given the punch line to a joke and everyone around me broke out in laughter. I watched, as Kyle held his head back and barked out with laughter loudly, as if it had been the funniest thing he’d ever heard. His eyes crinkled and tears formed. Derek dropped his gaze to the fire as a slight smirk twisted his lips and a low chuckle rumbled from his chest. They were so different, yet so much the same.

A warm breeze slid across my skin, bringing with it the salty taste of the ocean and the smoke from the fire in front of me. Squinting my eyes, I blinked a few times, and coughed. Shifting to the side slightly and fanning my face, I waved the smoke elsewhere.

“Where have you been, Kat?” Kyle asked from across the fire after he’d contained his laughter from the joke I’d just missed, his arm sliding from the shoulder of a brunette that I recognized from my geometry class last year. She crossed her arms over her large chest and glared at me, shooting daggers from her eyes. Obviously, she thought my presence had ruined any chance that she had with Kyle tonight, but she was wrong. I didn’t care what she did with Kyle tonight and being in my presence had never stopped him before. Truth be told, sometimes I often thought Kyle only wanted to be with me because I denied him. It was a stereotypical case of wanting what you couldn’t have. If these girls who lusted after him would only figure that part out, I had no doubt they would have him eating out of the palm of their hands in no time.

My eyes flickered unintentionally in Derek’s direction. He was staring at me with those brilliant green eyes he and Kyle both shared, but there was always something different about Derek’s,  something that set his apart from his brother’s—an intensity that swirled within them. Tonight, when I looked into his eyes, that intensity seemed magnified somehow.

“Eh, I’ve been around.” I shrugged, shifting my eyes away from Derek, but not for long. In moments like this, when alcohol warmed my blood and drowned out reason, I could never seem to grab ahold of the control I always struggled to maintain when around him. The control that kept me from allowing my eyes to stare at nothing besides him, from finally spewing my guts and telling him exactly how I felt about him, and most of all, from pressing my lips to his.

“Yeah, I saw who you were hanging around with,” Kyle said through clenched teeth, his obvious disapproval dripping from his words.

Kyle’s tone wasn’t what surprised me. Sometimes he could act like an overly possessive boyfriend. It was Derek’s eyes that did. Maybe I had imagined it, as if it was some form of wishful thinking, infused by alcohol or something, but for a fraction of a second, I thought I saw jealousy bubbling to the surface in them.

I didn’t get a chance to answer Kyle’s comment or even to think more about that flash of emotion I’d thought I had noticed in Derek’s eyes, because Missy ran up to me, her red plastic cup sloshing and spilling its contents the entire way. “Oh, my God, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” she slurred a little too loudly. She stumbled and caught herself by grabbing on to my shoulder, her blonde curls spilling into her face.

“Here I am,” I said, taking her cup from her hand and taking a long swig. I still hadn’t managed to make it inside to get that other beer I’d wanted.

Missy roughly squeezed in between me and the girl sitting next to me, nearly pushing me off the edge of the log in the process. “Is it true?”

“Is what true?”

“That you totally threw yourself all over Cal on the pier and then got pissed when he turned you down,” she slurred, her lips twisted into a drunken smile. She loved drama, especially when it wasn’t her own.

My stomach knotted. I’d figured he would say something like that. I took another gulp of her beer before I handed the cup back to her. “Not even close.”

“I didn’t think so, but that’s what he’s telling everyone,” Missy said matter-of-factly as she swayed slightly. “What a dick!”

I pursed my lips together. “My thoughts exactly.”

“We should do something to him, like key his car or slash his tires…” Missy muttered as she drunkenly thought of an evil plot against Cal. I smiled at her ideas. I loved my best friend.

“What really happened then?” Kyle asked, the firelight dancing across his face and creating shadows which intensified the sudden flare of protective anger I saw distorting his features.

“Nothing,” I said, feeling my cheeks grow hot from being the center of attention for so long.

“It sure as shit better not have,” Kyle said, standing abruptly. He stormed off in the direction of the house, stumbling only once on the way up the steps to the porch. He’d had more to drink than I’d thought, he never stumbled.

“Crap,” Derek sighed. “Hold this, I’ll be right back,” he said, handing me his Pepsi.

I knew what was about to happen. I could feel Kyle’s tension he left behind crackling in the air. Kyle was going inside to try to pound the crap out of Cal for what he’d said and what Kyle thought he’d possibly done, and Derek was going in to peel Kyle off so he didn’t kill him. That was how their relationship worked. Kyle was the hot-tempered, egotistical maniac and Derek was the mellow-minded peacemaker who kept his younger brother—by three minutes—in line.

I remained where I sat, having faith that Derek would get to Kyle before he could do much damage, and at the same time, enjoying the satisfaction that came with knowing Cal was getting what had been coming to him, a freaking sucker punch right in the eye. Missy leaned her head against mine with a little too much force, causing an inaudible ‘ouch’ to escape from my parted lips, and began mumbling incoherently about how horrible she felt and moaning. I sighed and wiped her blonde curls off her damp forehead. It looked like it was time to call it a night and head back to her house.

I sat Derek’s drink down beside the log and stood, holding onto Missy so she wouldn’t fall over in the process. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

She mumbled something about home and sleep before wobbly standing and allowing me to lead her back toward Derek’s jeep. I had made it halfway when I heard a familiar voice call to me from behind.

“Hold up, let me help you.” I paused and shifted Missy’s weight around a little as Derek jogged to where I stood and took most of Missy’s weight from my shoulder. His warm fingers brushed against my side, as he attempted to slip his arm around Missy’s waist, causing tiny shivers to travel through me from his touch.

“Thanks,” I said, blushing at the sensation.

Kyle came out of nowhere and draped his arm around my shoulder. “You should have seen Cal’s face when I clobbered him! Priceless.” A lazy smirk twisted up the corners of his lips as he gazed at me with hooded, drunken eyes.

I brushed his heavy arm off, as I always did, and shook my head. “Thanks for taking care of Cal for me, even though I didn’t ask you to.” I smirked, casting him a sidelong glance.