Experiencing God at Home (31 page)

Conclusion

There is no simplistic or one-size-fits-all answer for what it takes to get your family back where God wants it to be. People are unique, with particular struggles, temptations, and issues. But God knows how to draw each person to Himself. Only He can bring forgiveness as well as heal any wound. He will take as long as necessary to draw your children to Himself. Watch to see where He is working in your family. Adjust yourself to His activity and join Him in His work. One day your family will thank you that you did!

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. If you are currently concerned about one of your family members, take a moment to ask, “Am I in a place personally in my walk with God that I can be of help with my struggling family member? What is the condition of my personal life? My walk with God? My relationships? What might I need to adjust before I am in a position to be of maximum help to my family?

2. If you are married, is your spouse in unity with you in trying to help your children experience God’s best? If not, is there anything you could do to draw closer to your spouse?

3. If your child is presently experiencing difficulty, take time to pray and ask God to help you understand what the underlying issues are. Talk with people who know your family, and ask them what they see. Don’t argue. Just listen.

4. Do you need to release your control or agenda over your family in order to allow God to do things His way? Have you been getting in the way of what God is trying to do? How might you better cooperate with God’s activity in your family?

5. Are you willing to wait on the Lord for as long as it takes for your family to experience healing and restoration? Daily ask God for patience and faith to trust Him with your problems.

Chapter 16

Developing a Godly Legacy

Leaving a Legacy

Our younger brother Mel is the senior pastor of First Baptist Church, Jonesboro, Georgia. One of his longtime members is Truett Cathy. Truett was born in Eatonton, Georgia, in 1921. A born entrepreneur, he launched his stellar business career as a youth by purchasing six bottles of Coca-Cola for twenty-five cents and reselling them for a nickel a piece. In 1949, he started his first restaurant in Hapeville, Georgia. Famed for inventing the chicken sandwich and the iconic advertisements “Eat Mor Chikin,” Cathy leveraged his business acumen into legendary success with the national chain of Chick-fil-A restaurants. In 2007,
Forbes
listed Cathy as the 380th richest person in the United States and the 799th wealthiest person in the world.

Perhaps Chick-fil-A is best known for following Cathy’s conviction of closing on Sundays so employees can spend time with their families and go to church. But Cathy will leave a larger legacy than merely the chicken sandwich. He also established a Winshape Foundation that has poured millions of dollars into developing young leaders and strengthening families. Chick-fil-A also provides scholarships to help its employees go to college. When you visit First Baptist Church in Jonesboro, you learn something else. Cathy taught a fifth-grade boys’ Sunday school class for more than fifty years. Today there are middle-aged men all over the church who will proudly tell you they are one of “Truett’s Boys.” We know numerous young adults in Atlanta who got their first job at Chick-fil-A. There they obtained leadership training and skills that launched them into successful careers. The Cathy family is legendary for its generosity in helping children go to camp, teenagers go to college, and widows receive financial assistance.

Not only are Truett’s children actively involved in the business, but a number of his grandchildren are as well. Cathy has won numerous awards, honorary degrees, and even recognition by the president of the United States. But perhaps his greatest honor will be the legacy of Christian charity and integrity he will pass on to the generations that follow.

Legacy:
1. A gift given through a will, usually money or personal property.

2. Something of value handed down or received from an ancestor or predecessor such as an antique, a title, or a privilege.

We had a great uncle named Stu. He was a lifelong bachelor who was notorious for giving all the ladies a kiss at family gatherings! When he died, he dispersed his estate among his relatives. We each received a small legacy. Richard bought a pool table for his family with it. Every time thereafter, whenever we looked at the pool table, we thought of Uncle Stu. Certainly not the noblest of memories, but at least he was remembered!

Legal wills provide the opportunity for people to pass on a blessing to others after they have died. It indicates how your estate will be divided between your loved ones or the institutions of your choice. Some people without dependents establish a foundation, a scholarship, or donate the proceeds from the sale of their property to a cause, an organization, or a school. Often organizations will place the donor’s name on a plaque and place it somewhere prominent so that years later the deceased person will continue to be remembered.

Most parents are too busy trying to pay bills, changing diapers, coaching Little League, and going to work to think about the legacy they will one day bequeath to their children. Some parents are proactive enough to plan for the inheritance they will eventually pass on to their children. They purchase life insurance, make shrewd investments, and establish trust funds. However, there is much more to leaving a legacy than leaving money in your will for your relatives. Recall the stories your parents told you about your relatives over the years. As we tell stories about our parents or grandparents, or eccentric uncles and aunts, we are highlighting character traits, values, and beliefs that they passed down to us. Such tales may reflect their sterling character, strong work ethic, or indomitable spirit. Our family stories may poke fun at our family’s foibles and idiosyncrasies, or they might describe character traits we admi5re and want our children to emulate.

Sober Drunk

Our grandfather always acted like a proper British gentleman. He was a voracious reader who loved poetry but loved God more. As a bank manager, he maintained a high degree of decorum, and as a lay pastor and church planter, he upheld the highest standards of godliness (no playing cards, movies, or other tools of the devil in
his
home!). One day the superintendant of his denomination came to town for a visit. He had heard of our godly grandfather and wanted to meet him. Upon spying the superintendent walking down the street with a colleague, our grandfather ducked into the entrance of the nearest bar. He cocked his hat sideways, loosened his tie, and, just as the two men were passing by, he stumbled out of the doorway deliberately bumping into them. Wiping his arm across his mouth, he said (with his best slurred speech), “Gentlemen! What a
sssssurprize
!” There was always a twinkle in his eye and a joke to be played on unsuspecting people.

Mr. G .R. S. Blackaby: Banker, Soldier, Father, Legacy Builder

Stories about our grandfather G. R. S. Blackaby (including the one above) were legendary to us grandchildren, particularly because only one of us ever met him. When he died, his first grandson, Richard, was only a few months old (some say the sight of Richard as a baby was too much for the old man!). G. Richard Blackaby was named after G. Richard Sanders Blackaby and carries his name proudly.

G. R. S. Blackaby immigrated to Canada in the early 1900s and found work at the Bank of Montreal. He worked as a branch manager in various small towns in the interior of British Columbia, Canada. As children, we were told fascinating stories about how “Blackie” served as a machine gunner with the Canadian army during WWI. He survived many of the war’s major battles, though he suffered from a mustard gas attack and from shrapnel wounds he carried in his body for the remainder of his life. As a father of three young children, he started a church in the isolated town of Prince Rupert. That church is still going strong to this day. We came across a book that included three of his published poems
1
and discovered a gold mine of his sermon notes from which he preached before the church he started could call a full-time pastor.

The many stories about our grandfather’s character were retold to inspire and challenge us. For example, when he fought in WWI, there were Sundays when the troops were allowed to attend a local church in the area. On one occasion the commanding officer assembled his troops in formation. Those soldiers wishing to attend a Protestant service were to march to a nearby Anglican church. Catholic soldiers would break rank and march to the Catholic Church. As the soldiers advanced, our grandfather remained standing, alone. “Are you a Catholic?” asked the officer. “No sir,” replied Grandpa. “Are you a Protestant then?” “No, sir. I’m a Baptist,” replied Grandpa. “Then go with the Protestants,” said the officer. “No, sir. There is a Baptist church in town, and as we are permitted to attend the church of our choice, that’s where I would like to go, sir.” “Very well,” replied the officer. Our grandfather then marched in a parade of one to the Baptist church, dismissed himself to attend the little Baptist service, and then formed back into rank and marched himself back to camp.

The legacy G. R. S. Blackaby left was one of faithfulness to God, to his church, and to his family. He was a man of principle and conviction and upheld extremely high personal standards. Perhaps that is why his commanding officer gave him inventory duty for the alcohol during the war. With Grandpa in charge, nothing ever went missing!

Follow the Leader

The apostle Peter urges us to follow the example Christ set for us in 1 Peter 2:21: “For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in His steps” (
hcsb
). The writer of Hebrews also urges us to look to godly examples to follow: “Remember your leaders who have spoken God’s word to you. As you carefully observe the outcome of their lives, imitate their faith” (Heb. 13:7
hcsb
). The reason you leave a godly legacy is to set an example for those who will follow in your steps.

Each time we were told a story about a godly relative, the implication was that we should follow their example. Our mother’s quiet, saintly Grandmother Rooker tithed every Sunday even though she often did not have money remaining for food. God always provided something for her family to eat. Occasionally God would send a local farmer to leave groceries on her doorstep. The lesson for us: If Great-Grandma Rooker could trust in God during the Great Depression, we can trust God to provide for us too.

After retiring from their jobs as a store manager at Sears and as a surgical assistant at a local hospital, our mother’s parents, Melvin and Carrie Wells, went as missionary associates to Lusaka, Zambia. Our grandfather put his carpentry skills to use building a home for missionary children (and attempting to build “snake-resistant” fences!), and our grandmother spoiled them with her legendary cooking. Their example taught us that we were never too old for God to use us.

A godly legacy is a wonderful treasure to leave behind you, but it is only beneficial to those who are willing to receive it. Two of Grandpa Blackaby’s three sons, Henry and William, chose to follow their godly parents’ example. They married devout Christian women and wholeheartedly followed in their father’s footsteps. The third son did not. Henry and William had a total of nine children: six boys and three girls, and twenty-one grandchildren. Of those nine children, two have been seminary presidents, six served as pastors, two served as missionaries, several have been worship leaders, and all serve in leadership positions in their local churches. As of this writing, all twenty-one of Henry and William’s grandchildren are following their Great-Grandpa Blackaby’s legacy of faith. Three of them are currently enrolled in seminary, and one is already a pastor.

A person’s spiritual legacy can extend well beyond their immediate family, as is the case of our father. If you visit Dallas Baptist University in Texas, you will see a stately red-brick building housing the bookstore, music rooms, and offices. It is called “Henry Blackaby Hall” in honor of the impact his life has exerted on God’s kingdom. (Our father breathed a sigh of relief when they did not place his name on the school’s sewage treatment plant!)

Legacy of Character

A sterling character is a quality that money cannot buy. In fact, exemplary character and a good name can be far more valuable and powerful than money or investments. I (Tom) live in a small town where some families trace their relatives back more than one hundred years. This town has grown from a tiny logging village along the Fraser River to a city of more than seventy thousand people. Loyalty runs deep among the established families, and even though there are large chain grocery stores and quick oil-change shops littering the roadways, long-term residents still shop at the same little mom-and-pop grocery stores and get their car serviced by their longtime mechanic’s shop. They tell me, “They’re good folk. I’ve known them for years.” Long-term residents trust people they know and respect and will go out of their way to frequent their shops out of loyalty and friendship.