Eye of the Wizard: A Fantasy Adventure (22 page)

Neev shrugged and closed his spellbook, raising a shower of dust. "Well, that's what happens when you get drunk and sleep until afternoon."

"Boo." Romy stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm going to buy myself a delicious poodle later, and you can't stop me."

Still wobbly, she sat down and made herself a bacon, cheese, and kale sandwich. The food made her stomach whine, but she forced herself to eat it.
It ain't pnoodle soup, but it'll help me feel better.

The door to the tavern creaked open, and Romy winced, the sound like a claw in her skull. Eyes narrowed, she turned to see a paunchy, bearded man enter the tavern. Normally Romy wouldn't spare him a glance, but something seemed odd about this man; she couldn't quite pinpoint it. Chewing her sandwich, she examined him. He looked like a nobleman or merchant down on his luck, once wealthy but fallen upon hard times. He wore a costly, embroidered cloak that had seen better days, a hat that was stylish a hundred years ago, and dusty boots. Two ruby rings adorned his fingers, pricey pieces that looked generations old, their gold dull.

Romy's food suddenly felt tasteless. She had spent two hundred years whipping sinners, and she could smell a rotten soul a mile away. This man smelled... maybe not quite rotten, but
wrong
. Almost as if another's scent had clung to him, invaded him.
It makes no sense. I don't get it.

With sinking spirits, Romy saw that the man approached the Bullies' table. He stood by her, removed his plumed hat, and said, "Are you the Bullies? Bullies for Bucks?"

"No," Romy said at once.

"Romy!" Jamie said, kicking her under the table. She turned to the man. "Yes, we're Bullies for Bucks. How can we help you?"

Romy winced and rubbed her leg. This man might be a client, but still, she didn't trust him. She trusted her nose, and her nose told her two things today: bacon was delicious, and this man was trouble.

The man fished five golden coins from his pocket and slammed them onto the table. They gleamed. Romy didn't understand human currency, but judging by how her friends' eyes glowed, she assumed this was a fortune.
This much money could buy many poodles.
Still, Romy didn't like it; these coins smelled wrong, too.

"There are five more golds once you rescue my daughter," said the man. "Roogs kidnapped her to their cave, where they torment her for fun. My name is Yona. Will you help me?"

Roogs!
Romy shuddered. She hated those creatures.
Hated
them. She would sometimes see them wander the underground. They did not dwell as deep as demons; they lived in tunnels near the First Circle, sometimes foraging for food on Earth, sometimes digging deep to hunt baby demons. They looked like humans, but had milky white skin, no hair, and mouths for eyes, each mouth full of fangs. They were known as thieves and racketeers, not as cruel as grobblers or disgusting as moldmen, but greedy beasts who'd do anything for money.

Yona's voice trembled, but Romy suspected it was all an act; his eyes remained cold. She opened her mouth to refuse him, but Jamie kicked her again, even harder this time, and Romy bit her tongue. Jamie might be just fifteen, five feet in heels, and barely a hundred pounds, but she was a strong little devil.
Ouch.

"What does your daughter look like?" Scruff asked the man, brushing crumbs off his tunic.

This time, Jamie kicked her brother. "What does it matter what she looks like?" she demanded. "If she's ugly, you won't save her?"

Scruff sulked. "I need to recognize her if I'm to rescue her."

"The girl who's in the roog cave, tied up, will be her," Jamie said. "I think even you'll manage to pinpoint her."

Yona scratched his beard and launched into a tale, explaining how he was once a wealthy merchant, but fell into trouble with racketeering roogs. The roogs kidnapped his daughter a week ago, and he paid them a high ransom, but they never returned the girl. "There are only three roogs," he assured them, handing them a map leading to their cave. "I'm sure you can kill them easily."

Throughout the speech, Romy kept shaking her head.
This is wrong,
she thought. She knew roogs; they traveled in clans of dozens, seeking safety in numbers. Three would never operate alone. This merchant was lying. Romy growled at him, but Jamie kicked her again. She opened her mouth and tried to voice her concerns, but Jamie gave her a glower so withering, that Romy closed her mouth and fumed.

"But— but—" she tried to say when Scruff shook Yona's hand, accepting the offer. Neev put a finger to her lips, shutting her up.

"What are you doing, Romy?" Neev hissed into her ear, his hand on her shoulder. "We can't keep scaring poodles for turnips. This is big money. We need this gig."

Romy let her head drop. "I guess so," she said miserably. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was just hung over and sensing evil everywhere. She glanced back at Yona. The bearded merchant smiled at her, but she sensed no warmth in his eyes.

There were five Bullies, and Yona had given them five golds. Scruff handed them around, a coin each. Romy held hers in her palm, watching it gleam. She put it into her pocket, wondering how much poodles cost, and where she could buy one.

"Remember, five more golds when you bring back my daughter," Yona said.

Scruff shook his hand again. "We'll leave at once."

The Bullies shoved last bites of food into their mouths (Scruff also shoved leftover bacon into his pocket), then headed toward the door. Romy walked with her head lowered, feet shuffling.

"Oh, before you leave," the merchant said, and they turned back to face him. He seemed red in the face, as if embarrassed, and looked at Cobweb. "Dear spiderling, what is your name?"

"I'm Cobweb," she said, bowing her head. Her white hair and gossamer dress glowed.

Yona sketched a bow. "My lady Cobweb, would you stay behind as my bodyguard? The roogs are after me; they want to kill me. But roogs fear spiderlings, and would not dare approach if you guard me. Would you stay with me in this tavern? I'll toss in another gold for your bodyguard services."

"No deal," Romy said.

Scruff frowned at her. "Romy, what's gotten into you today?"

"I don't want Cobweb to stay alone," she replied, crossing her arms. "It's not safe. Cobweb, come with us."

Cobweb put a hand on Romy's shoulder. "I'ww be aww wight, Womy," she said. Her blue eyes softened, and a smile touched her lips.
She's so pretty,
Romy thought, suddenly wishing she too had purple skin and pointy ears.
No wonder the merchant wants her to stay with him.

"Are you sure?" she asked, voice weak.

Cobweb nodded. "I have my b-bow and my d-d-daggew, and we'ww stay in dis tavewn da whowe time. Go and save Yona's d-daughtew, Womy. D-don't wowwy about me. We'we doing a g-good ting. We'we hewping p-peopwe in need." Cobweb breathed deeply; struggling with so many words seemed to taken a lot out of her.

"And earning money," Jamie added, hand on her sword's pommel.

Scruff and Jamie left the tavern. Following them, Neev took Romy's arm and led her toward the door. Before she stepped outside, Romy turned and gave Cobweb one last, pleading look. Then Neev dragged her into the street, and they headed off to save Yona's daughter.

* * * * *

The Thistle Kids left the tavern, accompanied by their pet demon, leaving the cute spiderling behind. Looking at Cobweb, all alone with him at the table, Dry Bones smiled. Her beauty still amazed him; the golden freckles speckling her small nose, her glowing white hair, her blue eyes, her lavender skin. Such a marvelous creature deserved better than to tag along with the Thistle Kids, living the rough life of a bully.

"Can I buy you some wine?" he asked.

"Oh no, I'm fine, I shouwdn't dwink on d-duty." Cobweb kept her hand on her bow, taking her job seriously.
Adorable.
It was so cute, that Dry Bones wanted to have her, right there and then.

He wished he could be himself. He hated dressing in these coarse clothes of a commoner, and he was using lots of energy, maintaining the spells that cloaked his bones with flesh. The magic tired him, requiring constant effort, like keeping one's stomach sucked in. If he dropped his concentration, the spell would dissipate; the flesh, skin, and muscles would melt away, leaving him a skeleton once more.

Still, the effort was worth it. He had duped the Thistle Kids and sent them into a trap. The demon had been suspicious, but nobody took her seriously. Dry Bones had nothing against Romy; she had not wronged him, but she traveled with his enemies, so she too would die.

Dry Bones smiled. When the Thistle Kids reached the cave, they would find no merchant's daughter, of course. What they would find... was death.

"Is someting f-funny?" Cobweb asked, and Dry Bones realized that he was chuckling.
I really have to work on getting rid of this evil chuckle,
he thought.

"Oh, I was thinking about how happy I'll be when my daughter returns, safe and sound," he said.

Cobweb's eyes softened and she patted his arm. Her hand felt heavenly, so soft and warm. "I'm suwe she'ww be b-back soon," the spiderling said. "My fwiends are gweat at what dey do. Dey'ww save hew. And my b-bow and awwows wiww pwotect you untiw dey come b-back."

So cute.
Dry Bones patted her hand. To touch her—heaven! "Thank you, Cobweb," he said. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

As she smiled, he peeked a glance down her neckline.
Lovely.
Dry Bones had not loved a woman in years. Not since Sam Thistle had burned the flesh off his bones. Since then, he had lived a lonely life, his only companion Baumgartner and, once in a while, Issa. But that was all right. Dry Bones realized that all these years, he had just been waiting to meet the right woman. And that woman was Cobweb.
Why settle for a mere human when I can have a spiderling, the most beautiful creature on Earth?

"When your friends come back, I'll take you to a jeweler, and buy you whatever you want," he said. "You deserve it."

"Oh, dat's aww wight," Cobweb said, caressing her necklace of painted apple seeds. "You d-don't need to buy me anyting. I'm n-n-not doing dis for any wewawd. I j-just want to hewp p-peopwe."

She is such a cutie. So pure and trusting.
Dry Bones just wanted to pinch her cheeks. He had no illusions about Cobweb loving him back, of course. Without his spell—which would wear off soon—he was just a skeleton. Girls didn't find skeletons attractive.
But that's what magic is for,
he thought. Cobweb would be his prize. He would slip a love potion into her drink, and then she would be his forever.

Dry Bones sipped his beer, hiding his smile inside his mug. Being a warlock was great.

Chapter Fifteen

The Bully Trap

"We're going in circles," Jamie moaned.

They were walking through the woods, beech and oak trees rustling around them. Beads of sunlight twinkled as the trees moved, logs and acorns lay upon the forest floor, and a stream gurgled beside them. It was a beautiful forest, but Jamie didn't care. She was in the wrong mood for appreciating beauty. Her knucklehead brother had gotten them lost. It was just like him.

Standing by a mossy boulder, Scruff checked the map Yona had given him. "His map is confusing. Look at this north, south, east, west. That's just a matter of perspective, ain't it?"

Jamie sighed. "How is north and south a matter of perspective?"

"Well, it's relative to where you're standing, see?" Scruff jabbed his finger at the map.

"You really are an idiot," Jamie said. It was hard to believe she and Scruff shared the same parents. Surely he was a changeling, an ogre who was swapped with her true brother. She loved Scruff, but sometimes—like now—she just wanted to kick him. She gave into the urge, giving him a good solid kick to his calf.

"Ow!" Scruff's face flushed and he rubbed his leg. He shook the map at her. "Look, say I tell you you've got a stain on the left side of your shirt, it could be my left, could be your left. Same with north and south; it's confusing."

Romy piped up. "To us from the underground, everything in the world is just
up
."

Jamie ignored her. Why did Romy insist on tagging along anyway? The demon spent her whole time whining. She insisted on walking while holding Neev's hand. Whenever he pulled his hand free, Romy began to pout, until Neev finally held her hand again. Sometimes even that wasn't enough, and Romy began to whine that she wanted a piggyback ride. Jamie had kicked her a couple times too, but nothing could shut her up.

Jamie grabbed the map from Scruff, nearly tearing it. "Let me see that."

"You're holding it wrong," Scruff insisted. "You need to hold it upside down if you're facing south, or it won't be
your
south."

"There's only one south!" Jamie shouted. "You got us walking in circles, Scruff."

"Did not."

Jamie pointed her sword at an oak. "We passed by that tree three times already."

Scruff grumbled. "All these trees look the same, how do you know?"

"Because I carved something on it last time we passed it." She pointed. Words were carved into the wood:
Scruff, you're an idiot.

Scruff growled and clutched his head. "Fine," he said. "You have the map now. Let's see how well
you
do."

Holding the map, Jamie began to lead the way. The others followed, Scruff sulking, Neev and Romy holding hands.

They walked for a long time.

After a while, Jamie had to admit: the map
was
confusing. But she would not admit defeat. Her pride would not let her. She continued to lead the others, and whenever anyone piped up, she silenced them with a glower and, if that did not suffice, a good kick.

They must have walked for an hour or two, and it began to grow dark. Romy moaned, and even Neev, who had been mostly silent, spoke up.