Fairplay, Denver Cereal Volume 6 (18 page)

Blushing head to toe, he’d stood there. “I
don’t need to tell you how bad it would be if you burned O’Malley’s
daughter.” His father’s voice came from behind the newspaper. He’d
swallowed hard and ran away. At ten years old, he was mortified to
think she knew he thought of her in ‘that way.’ His cheeks in his
reflection flushed red at the memory.

He still thought of her in ‘that way.’

“
It’s just pizza, Jammy,”
Schmidty called himself by his childhood nickname. “She likes
pizza. You like pizza.”

He swallowed hard.

“
Don’t screw this up.” He
pointed at himself in the mirror.

His reflection nodded to him. In the mirror,
he caught the time on the clock on the wall behind him.

“
Crap.”

Grabbing a jacket, he jammed his wallet and
keys into his pants and jogged out of his Hilltop house. He took
Alameda to Steele Street around the Cherry Creek Mall. As if it was
fate, he caught every green light on Steele and turned on Clarkson
Street. Turning on Seventeenth, he pulled into a parking space
right in front of Sandy’s condo where Lizzie was living. He took
the stairs two at a time until he was standing in front of Sandy’s
door.

He knocked.

And waited.

He looked up at the ceiling as waves of
shame and remorse passed through him. She’d stood him up. He was
about to leave when Lizzie yanked the door open.

She was sucking sauce off her thumb.

“
Sorry,” Lizzie said. “I
was setting the table.”

“
I thought we were going
out,” Schmidty said.

“
Sandy reminded me that
Pasquini’s is really loud,” Lizzie said. “I had the pizza
delivered. Sandy still had Dad’s cards so he paid. I hope that’s
okay.”

Lizzie turned in place and went back to the
dining room.

“
You still don’t eat
pork,” Lizzie’s voice floated toward him. “Right?”

Schmidty stood in the doorway for a moment
then followed her in. Turning to close the door, he smiled to
himself.

Everything was perfect.

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED
& SIXTY-SEVEN

Awaken

One and a half days later
Friday morning—4:20 A.M.

When he turned off the shower, Aden heard
Rachel fuss in her bassinette attached to Sandy’s side of the bed.
Sandy was curled up on her side and sound asleep. Not wanting to
wake Sandy and still dripping from the shower, Aden picked up
Rachel and took her into their closet. He set her in her portable
bassinette so that he could dress. He went through the quick
proficient motions of changing her diaper. Hearing a noise, he
watched Sandy’s black and white cat Cleo settle in next to Sandy’s
belly. He was about to lay Rachel back into the bassinette by the
bed when she cooed at him.

Aden stared at the baby. Outside of the
frantic kangarooing when Rachel was in the NICU and Sandy was on
death’s door, Aden hadn’t spent any time with her alone. Rachel was
tucked away in a sling on Sandy’s shoulder, pressed against one of
Sandy’s bursting breasts, or carted around one of the kid’s hips.
In a classic Sandy move, Rachel lowered her chin and smiled at him.
When he tried to set her down, she reached her tiny arms out to
him.

He couldn’t let her go.

He picked up her portable bassinette and
carried her to the living room. The kids would be up in a half hour
and their day would be a flurry of activity and noise. Aden usually
used this small window of still quiet for meditation and working on
his daily affirmations.

“
My sobriety depends on
it,” Aden said in a soft voice to Rachel. Rachel bat her big eyes
at him. “You know how important my sobriety is to
everything.”

Rachel reached her hand out to his face. He
felt a flood of emotion that almost cracked him wide open. He
leaned down to kiss her face. She’d started life looking more like
a creature than a child. She’d fought back from near death over and
over again. She’d struggled just to take each breath, to be his
daughter, to live. For a moment, he felt the weight and beauty of
all she’d done in her short life.

She kicked her legs and moved her arms. No
one would ever know all she’d been through. Sandy’s dedication to
breast feeding had helped her grow to newborn size. Her doctor said
there was no reason to expect she wouldn’t live a healthy life.
Aden smiled at her and she smiled back at him.

He lowered his face closer to hers just to
look at her. In her eyes, he saw a tiny glimmer of Noelle. She
closed her eyes like Nash did when he was thinking. Her smile was
all Sandy. In the shadow, he saw the tiniest reflection of Seth and
his parents.

She was his daughter. She was Sandy’s
daughter.

In the way of infants, Rachel squinted and
pursed her lips. Her face puzzled. She squirmed at the rumblings of
her belly. Aden chuckled.

“
She’s amazing, isn’t
she?” Charlie’s voice jolted him out of his revelry. He looked at
Charlie. Rumpled from sleep, he was standing in the doorway. “Every
time I think about using, I think of Rachel. She wants to live so
much. She doesn’t care if it hurts; she just wants to live. Who the
hell am I to numb out?”

Aden nodded at the young man. Rachel cooed
again and he looked at her again.

“
I’ll make breakfast,”
Charlie said. “Is there something special for Noelle’s
birthday?”

“
Cinnamon rolls,” Aden
said. “Sandy left the instructions on the pan.”

“
I’ll put them in,”
Charlie said.

Aden’s ear picked up the sound from the
kitchen but his attention was on the baby in his lap. He
laughed.

“
What’s funny?” Charlie
asked.

“
I can’t believe this is
my life,” Aden said.

“
Pretty great,” Charlie
said. “I feel that sometimes.”

“
I better wake Sandy,”
Aden kissed Rachel’s cheek.

Charlie waved a spatula at him. With Rachel
on his hip, Aden went toward their bedroom.

“
Hey, before you go,”
Charlie said. “I wanted to ask you…”

Aden turned to look at him.

“
Why isn’t life fair?”
Charlie gave an embarrassed shrug. “Mrs. Anjelika assigned me to
ask everyone.”

“
I could just tell you
what they say at meetings…”

“
I have to find out
what
you
think.
That’s the assignment,” Charlie said.

“
I think life is life. It
just is,” Aden said. “Like the mountains or the sun or the sky.
These things aren’t good or bad, they just are. Life is like
that.”

“
Why isn’t life
fair?”

“
The mountains aren’t
fair, they just are,” Aden said. “Life is the same way.”

“
Ok, thanks, I guess,”
Charlie said.

Aden nodded and went into the silent
hallway. In the last still moment of the morning, he shook his head
at the mind of a sixteen year old.

Smiling, he went to start the day.

~~~~~~~~
Friday morning—8:20 A.M.

Schmidty waved to Lizzie and started up
Seventeenth Avenue. He stopped almost immediately at Ogden. In his
rearview mirror, he saw Lizzie wave one last time and then head
into the condo. He smiled.

He hadn’t thought he’d stay on Wednesday
night. They’d laughed through their pizza then sat on the couch
listening to music. He’d shared Seth’s new symphony with her.
They’d talked while his iPod played through her father’s music.
Somehow, the time slipped away until a glimmer of light shone on
the horizon. Morning was on its way.

Out of necessity, more than romance, she’d
taken his hand and led him to bed. They slept ten hours straight
through. She was mortified when they woke. He convinced her that
he’d go get breakfast while she showered. By the time he’d
returned, she’d talked to Sandy, showered, and was smiling at
him.

“
Sandy says I worry too
much,” Lizzie gestured to her belly. “I think I don’t worry
enough.”

Over bagels and coffee, decaf for her, she
told him about her relationship with her step-father.

“
It sounds like sexual
abuse, Lizzie,” he’d said when she was done.

“
Oh you remember how sexy
I was when I was fourteen or so. I flirted with every man. Low cut
tops, tight jeans, and stuff,” Lizzie said. “He was right. I did
want it. I was very attracted to him… and confused. I mean, there’s
nothing right about sleeping with your mother’s husband. But… you
know what I mean.”

“
Why were you so
sex-focused then?”

“
I don’t really know,”
Lizzie said. “I was like that until I was out of the house. I had a
couple of boyfriends in college but nothing real serious. Then when
I got home from college, I fell back into this thing with…
him
.”

Lizzie shrugged. Unwilling to press the
issue, Schmidty let her direct the conversation. He liked watching
her talk. Her face lit up when she smiled. She wasn’t sure what she
wanted to do with her life. Her father was so directed in his life
and her mother so passive. Lizzie wasn’t sure which she was.

Schmidty was sure he’d head home after
breakfast, but they’d slept the morning away and… They’d talked,
watched television, and listened to music. He didn’t realize the
day had slipped by until it was dark. And he was leaving for LA in
the morning.

Lizzie had wanted to see his house. They got
there around dinner time. He’d barbequed some salmon while she made
a salad. Like they had as kids, they’d devoured Ben and Jerry’s
straight from the carton.

He knew she should go home. He knew he
should take her home. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. When
she fell asleep on his couch, he slept beside her. She woke up at
some point. In a round of tears and recriminations, she begged him
not to leave her. Not tonight. He took her to his bedroom and held
her close all night.

She’d made a rushed breakfast while he
packed. They laughed and ate. Lizzie could be so funny about the
most normal things. This morning, she seemed so happy, so safe.
He’d tried to talk her into staying at his house, but she wanted to
go back to the condo.

“
You’ll be here when the
baby comes,” she’d said when they arrived in front of the
condo.

“
I’ll be here every
weekend except this one. I’ll be here when the baby comes,” he’d
said. “Seth’s leased a plane and hired a flight crew. We can leave
there on a moments notice.”

“
But you’ll be here, with
me.”

Her voice had an edge of begging. Her eyes
were filled with unshed tears and huge with sincerity. He couldn’t
help himself. He’d leaned forward and kissed her. Their first ever
kiss led to another. They’d sat in the car in front of the condo
making out like teenagers. If he’d had more time, they would
have…

But he had to go.

His phone rang. Without thinking about it,
he clicked the button on his steering wheel to answer the
phone.

“
I just heard some
disturbing news,” his father said.

“
Hi Dad,” Schmidty said.
“How are you this morning?”

“
I warned you about this,”
his father said.

“
About what?” Schmidty
asked. “Aren’t you missing your foursome?”

“
We’re waiting to tee
off,” his father said. “Don’t change the topic.”

“
I’m not sure what the
topic is, Dad,” Schmidty said. “I’m on my way to get O’Malley.
We’ll be in LA in time to catch our noon meetings. He’s meeting the
orchestra and conductor this afternoon. They were able to work this
weekend to make up for not being there on Wednesday. No one’s
feathers are ruffled. They all seem to understand O’Malley’s
condition. And everything’s on schedule.”

“
What are you doing with
O’Malley’s daughter?” his father asked.

“
You know what, Dad?”
Schmidty pulled up in front of Seth’s house. “I just spent the best
three days of my entire life.”

“
Takes more than sex to
make a life, son,” his father said. “There’s no way that a gentile
woman can understand you. And a marriage…”

“
Don’t you dare talk to me
about marriage,” Schmidty said. “You’ve been married five times to
five nice Jewish women. How did it turn out for you? You’re working
on convincing your sixth nice Jewish girl to marry you while
keeping your nice Jewish mistress on the side, and lining up the
seventh nice Jewish wife in the wings. I just spent three days with
a woman I’ve loved since I was in diapers. No amount of Jewish or
non-Jewishness is going to change that fact.”

“
Son…”

Unwilling to give his father a chance to
speak, Schmidty plunged on.

“
And you know what? I’m
not you. I don’t need entire football stadiums filled with women. I
just want one. I’ve always wanted just one. I want Lizzie,”
Schmidty said. “And, if she’ll have me, I’m going to spend every
day of my life trying to make her happy. So you can keep your
advice and your judgments to yourself.”

The line was still. Schmidty flushed.

“
Listen Dad, I don’t mean
to…”

He heard his father chuckle on the other
end.

“
Finally found your balls,
son?” his father laughed. “It’s about time. Have a good
trip.”

The line went dead. Shaking his head,
Schmidty looked at the phone. He looked up to see Maresol standing
in the doorway. Time to work.