Fall From Grace (11 page)

The squeal of the Jeep’s wheels as Shane rounded the corner woke me from my thoughts.  He pulled up onto the sidewalk like a lunatic and jumped out of the car.  Without saying a word, he opened the passenger side door, pulled the front seat forward and shoved Tucker in the car.  He then took my hand, helped me into the front seat, and closed the door for me.

Shane climbed back into the driver’s seat and took off towards Centre Street, downtown.  I stared at him while he drove. It’s completely ridiculous that someone should look so perfect or that he be allowed to drive my Jeep.

“What happened?” I asked to get my mind off of looking at him.

“Alex was out with that chick whose boyfriend jumped him.  The boyfriend had roughed her up after the incident with Alex, and well, I think Alex went to the guy’s house and I guess he stood up to him.”

Tucker snapped into action in the backseat asking questions and making phone calls.  I leaned my head against the cold window and sighed.  On a scale of one to ten, I’d have rate the date a 0.

Traffic was light and we made it there within fifteen minutes.  Tucker’s father was standing outside waiting on the steps.

Shane pulled up and opened his side of the car door to let Tucker get out.  When Shane got back in and closed the door, Tucker made him open the window to talk to me.  “Grace, I’m sorry.  I know that this was one of the best nights of your life, so I’ll take you back to Masa whenever you’d like.”

Is he insane?  One of the best nights of my life? I kept my voice calm, “Oh, we’ll have to talk about that, Tucker.”

Tucker gave me his sexiest smile.  “I know, it was amazing.  Grace, you’re amazing.”  He tilted his head to Shane and nodded, “Thanks for taking her home for me, you’re a good friend.”  He pounded his palm on the door, which made me want to scratch his eyes out.  “Get her home safe, this big boy has gotta play superman!” he shouted, pointing to himself.

Shane pulled away and drove without saying a word.  I kept my head against the cold glass.  The tingly feeling that I had before was slipping out of my body and I found myself wanting to find a way to continue the mind-blowing numbness.  Shane’s silence was making it worse.

After circling the block of my apartment five times, Shane finally found a spot and pulled in.  We got out and he walked me to my apartment, but instead of going inside, I kept moving.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I need to have a drink or few.”

“What? Now? Why?”

I looked down at my cellphone and saw that it was 8:30.  I looked at him seriously.  “That was just two and a half hours of my life that I will never get back.  And in those two and a half hours, I have spent more time with a jerk, than all of my years on this earth.”  I watched a small smile play on his face. “I am kind of hoping the rest of my night will be full of regretful behavior and irreversible decisions.”  I stomped away from him, but he grabbed me by my arm, spinning me around to face him.

“What?  So that wasn’t the best night of your life?” he asked with amusement in his voice.

“Shut up, Shane, go home!” I walked away.

He threw his arm around my neck and walked with me.  “I think I need a night of watching you entertain me with your regretful behavior and your irreversible decisions.”

“Then we definitely need to call Lea to tell her and Conner to meet us at Boozer’s,” I said.

Shane looked down into my eyes.  He was so close to me like this that it was hard to think straight.  His whole body vibrated with sex appeal, or maybe that was me.  Either way, I didn’t want to have any sexy thoughts about me and New York City’s Most Popular Man-whore and I wanted my best friend with me.

He must have read something on my face. “Grace, are you afraid of being alone with me?”  He eyes widened and he took his arm off my shoulders.  “Grace, I get it.  You aren’t interested in anything with me.  I’m not going to try anything, I promise.”   He looked around and back to my eyes, running his hand through his hair. He took his phone out of his pocket.  “I’ll tell them to meet us there.”

Boozer’s was crowded for a weeknight, as Shane and I meandered our way to the bar.

Shane introduced me to Ryan, the bartender, and told him whatever I wanted was limitless and he was paying.  I eyed him suspiciously and took off my coat.  When he saw me with my coat off, his mouth dropped open and he froze.  His eyes smoldered, giving me a slow long once over from my eyes to my toes and back up again.  He sucked his breath in, but said nothing.  He looked awestruck, and I had no doubt that if I were any other girl in the world other than me, that look would have made me let him take me home.

“What would you like, Grace?” Shane asked me.  I hesitated.  I wanted to say to be someone else, at least just for tonight; but I couldn’t.  I still had to find someone, someone who I’d been half a person without.  “Tequila, please,” I whispered.

Shane tore his eyes off me, “Ryan, the woman wants Tequila.  Line up the shot glasses, salt and limes, sir,” and he turned back to me with a wicked smile, “And let the regretful behavior begin!”

Everything was placed on the bar in front of me.

My eyes never left Shane’s as I slowly licked the back of my hand, salted it and licked it again.  Lifting the shot, I tilted my head back and emptied the glass, and then sucked on the lime.

“My God,” he whispered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Why am I drinking alone?”  I could feel a heat burn inside me.

A sexy playful smile crept across his face, “Oh, don’t worry, Grace, you’re not alone,” he said, as he slowly licked the back of his salted hand and devoured his drink.

I wanted to ask him if he could do that to me next.  Please, Lea, get here fast before I do something I will regret.

“Holy Shots!” Lea screamed when she and Conner walked up to us, eyeing all the Tequila that was lined up.  Oh, thank you God, she’s here!

“Lea!” I yelled, and hugged her tight.  When I pulled her away, I said, “That, my friend, will be the last time that you will ever talk me into going on a date!”

Lea held up her finger, about to make a point and I grabbed it with my mouth and bit her.  “Ouch!”

“Last time, Lea.  It’s my messed up life and if I want to waste it, I will!”  I ended the sentence with another shot that Shane had handed to me; his fingers brushing mine.  My breath caught, his eyes noticed, and my cheeks flushed with heat.  Crap!

Lea grabbed a shot off the bar, “Come on, Conner.  Worst thing to do is let a friend drink alone, looks like I’ll be taking off again tomorrow!” She emptied her glass.

Four shots in, Shane grabbed my hand and nodded toward the dance floor.  I smiled back; butterflies bursting in my stomach.  I motioned for Lea and Conner to follow us.

Shane spun me around, facing me away from him, and grabbed hold of my waist.  His fingers dug into the material of my shirt, pulling me closer to him. His touch made me lose my train of logical thought. All my coordination; out the window.  I fell back against his body, he swayed my hips to the music; fire erupting deep inside me.

I tried to pull away from him. I wanted to run away from the heat; too afraid to get burned by the fire pulsating in my veins.  My entire body ignored my thoughts; it just melted into him.

I glanced over to Lea and Conner for help, but received nothing but an impish grin from both of them.

Shane spun me back around to face him. A rush of exhilarated fear seared through me.  I felt the heat of his hands through the thin material of my shirt.  I wonder how it would feel with his hands on my bare skin.  Oh, shut up, Grace, do not think about Shane like that!  “Shane,” I gasped shaking my head at him.

His eyes were so intense.  My God, he is sexy.  Exquisitely tempting, but too dark and dangerous, just barely out of sight beneath the surface.

He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me in closer.  Burying his face in my hair, he whispered, “You’re killing me, Grace.”

I leaned away from him and frowned up at him.

“I know. I know, Grace!”  His hands flew up into the air.  “I have absolutely no chance at a night with you.  I’m not trying to sleep with you.  I’m just having fun, you smell awesome, you are inhumanly beautiful, and you’re making my heart beat overtime.  Shots?”

I threw my head back laughing.  “Shots!” I agreed.

Taking hold of Lea and Conner, we shoved through the dancing crowd to our waiting drinks.  Four more shots.  Numbness; the world was perfect, pure, and my life had meaning.  I hadn’t died a thousand times over and my heart had not been ripped from my chest.

“Hey, you okay?  I have to go pee, come with,” Lea demanded slurring.

I can’t even remember walking to the bathroom.

Standing in front of the faucet, I held my hands under the icy cold stream until they burned.  Lea had gone into a stall and she was silent, very unlike her.

She walked out of the stall; slamming the door accidentally and giggled.  She came over to the faucet beside me and washed her hands.

Noticing my hands were still under the stream, she shut off my faucet and handed me a clump of paper towels.  She looked at me intently in the mirror.  “What’s going on?  What really happened with Tucker, besides Alex and his stupidity cutting your date short?”

I gave her a look, which I hoped said it all, but just to clarify, I added, “Let’s just say it was the worst date of my entire life.  End of story.”

“And, what is going on with Shane out there? The way you guys were dancing, I thought, maybe...well, it just looked intense,” she said.

I cringed.  It felt intense.  It felt good, but there’s no way I could say that.  “Lea, ever since I got here, there’s been so many intense moments that I feel like a rubber band about to snap.”

Lea grabbed my frozen hands and stared down wide-eyed at them. “Why do you do these things?”  She rubbed my hands in hers to warm them.  “You know, Grace, I haven’t really known Shane for long, but I can tell you he would be great for a one night thing and that’s it, he’s hollow when it comes to girls.  But, damn is he sexy.  Sometimes, I secretly wish I met him first, let him have his way with me, and then met Conner!”

We burst out into a fit of giggles, “Lea, I can’t.”  Okay, so I was really trying to believe that.

“So what do you want?”

“Right now, I just want Jacob to be here to give me big hug and say, ‘I’m sorry that the entire male gender of our species sucks.’ But, more than that, I need another drink so I can forgot about everything for a little while.”

When we returned, Shane was sitting at the bar with a stunning blonde.  A twinge of envy coursed through my body, but I washed it away with another drink.  I watched as he leaned in, brushing her long golden hair off her shoulder and whispered into her ear.  She ran her fingers though his hair and giggled, sliding closer against him.

I could be steadfast in the things I wanted for myself, but I would be lying to say that the passion and lust that Shane had in his eyes for me before wasn’t so very tempting.   Although seeing him with this other women just proved the fact that I was nothing special. I knew down deep in my soul that I was special to the person I was looking for. Lea slid on the barstool next to me and laughed, “Do you see that?  Girl, that could have been you!  Just think, you gave up a night of ride ‘em cowboy with Hottie McShane, for...” she looked at the empty barstool on the other side of me, “Oh, right.  No one that I can see.”

The blonde stood up, taking Shane by the hand and she led him to the dance floor.  She was all legs and cleavage.

They danced like they were the only two people in the room and I had to look away, wondering if I had looked like that just a few minutes before her.

Lea and I slammed down two more shots.  We spun our stools around and scanned the dance floor.  Shane was still dry humping the porn star, but his eyes were on me.

Another shot.  I didn’t want to feel this.  I had no right to feel this way.  I didn’t want to think of myself as slighted, I didn’t want to wish to be someone else every second of every day.  Right now, most of all, I didn’t want to have such a strong desire to be that blonde dancing with Shane.  Not just for the fact of getting to spend a night with him, but also wanting to run away from my past.  Just to spend even a small amount of time pretending I was normal.

I strolled past them, smiling and shaking my head.  I needed to run some icy water over the back of my neck, the bar was spinning and I needed to try to ground myself.  Then, I’m getting some fresh air.  I walked into the back hallway, alone.

“Don’t fucking move and don’t fucking yell,” a man’s voice hissed into my ear, “Or I swear to God I will slit your fucking throat.”

I froze as I watched Shane and his new friend get lost in the dance crowd behind me from the corner of my eye.  Did he see what was happening to me?  “Okay,” I replied, feeling the sharpness of the knife at the nape of my neck.  The fingers of his other hand dug into my arm.  That’s going to leave a bruise.

“Move back, let’s go, just turn around.”  He waved the knife in the air and pointed to a door near the bathroom.

He shoved me hard against the door; the hallway was spinning around me.  I definitely should not have drunk so much.  And, really why does stuff like this have to happen to nice girls when they hardly ever drink?  Not fair.