Fall From Grace (13 page)

“Yeah, when I think back on it now, it looked like you were doing fine by yourself.  I just saw all the blood on the guy and I thought he hurt you.  I went crazy.  How did you fight that guy back?  He was like five times your size.”

I giggled.  Yes, I giggled like a schoolgirl.  I’m such an idiot.  “I had an older brother who taught me how to protect myself.”

“You had a great older brother.”

I smiled.  “One of the best.”

There was a hesitation again.  Then he took a deep breath and asked, “Why didn’t you have a good time with Tucker?  I figured you didn’t like him, but I don’t understand why you went on a date with him.”

I yawned again.  “Lea forced me to go on the date.  She has this warped vision of us marrying best friends or brothers or something.”  I sighed heavily, “Tucker is nice enough, but he’s just not my type.”  I did not want to get into this with Shane.

“And you type is?”

“Not Tucker.”

We stayed on the phone until six the next morning, talking about everything and anything.  Nothing got too personal, and nothing even remotely provocative.  He spoke to me about his music, his songs, and his words.  I could have listened to him for another lifetime and then some more.  We stayed talking until my phone’s battery was beeping that it was about to die.  I appreciated the effort he was making to try to be a friend, I accepted the fact that it was a leap for him, but I was not caving in anytime soon and I hoped he realized that.  He never again mentioned that I owed him anything for saving me, but I think that it was unusual for him to lift a finger for anyone else besides his friends. He was more shocked than anyone that he’d done it.  I knew in my heart at the end of our conversation that I did need to repay him in some way.

When I sat up groggy the next day at three in the afternoon from the most exquisite dream I’d ever had; I knew exactly what I needed to do.  My unconscious mind had conjured up a sleep filled with me playing music, alone in never ending rapture.  I was going to audition for Shane’s band.  It would only be six weeks until Alex’s casts would come off and then I could go about my own way.  I wasn’t sure if there would be more trouble in store for Alex after his arrest, but I figured on the court system in the city to draw out any trials for years to come.  Alex most likely spent the night in jail and would be out the next day with only a desk appearance to show up to.  I guessed that in six weeks when his casts were off, he wouldn’t still be in jail or anything and he could just jump back in the band again.

The truth was that after listening to Shane play and listening to him on the phone, I wanted to play with him.  Besides, this would be my way of thanking him for what he had done and I would be fully clothed while I did it!

Chapter 8

The apartment was dead silent.  I tiptoed down the hallway and into the bathroom trying not to wake Lea.  I showered, shaved, scrubbed, and put lotion on, every girlie thing I could think of.  I even painted my nails.

Lea was standing in the hallway with her arms across her chest waiting for me when I was done.  Mist from the bathroom wafted through the dim light.  “Well, the boys are busy tonight with the auditions, so what trouble are we going to get in tonight?” she asked smiling.

“I think I’m about to do something stupid,” I said.

Lea grabbed me by the hand, led me down the hall, through my bedroom door, and sat on my bed.  “Okay, I hope to God this has something to do with a hot guy and some toys.”

I gave her a wicked smile.  “I guess it does.  I’m going to the audition.”

She jumped into action.  “Here,” she ripped through my closet and flung clothes at me, “Put these on, you have to look hotter than hell.  They are going to flip the F out!”

I slipped on a low cut, red spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of tight low-rise skinny jeans.  I pulled on my boots and dried my hair until it was pin straight.  Grabbed my black leather jacket and strapped my guitar case on my back.

It was seven o’clock when Lea and I left our apartment. The auditions should have started earlier, but I really didn’t know of the exact time.  It was snowing lightly and the city had a beautiful soft light hue to it.  The snow crunched lightly under our feet.  When we got to the guy’s block, Lea ran.  I figured she was excited.

Walking through the first floor to the basement was eerily silent, and I wondered if anybody showed up at all.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the studio door; adrenaline surging through my body.  God, this felt good.  Not only was I going to play in front of everyone, I would be playing with Shane.  There was no way I would give myself to someone like him, but I could be with him this way, which to me was just as hot.  That way, I could go on doing what I was here for, looking for my other half.

Conner opened the door.  A huge smile crossed over his face when he saw us.  “Just in time, two beautiful girls in the studio should help ease some tension, I hope.”  Lea jumped into his arms.

The band sat together on the floor looking completely miserable.  Shane looked up at me with a confused expression.  He stood up, dusted his pants off, and started to walk over.

Tucker got to me before Shane could.  “Hey, are you here to listen to me play?  That’s cool, my first fan.”  I ignored him and stepped past.  I took off my coat and handed it to Lea.

Shane’s mouth fell open when he saw my outfit, but not as far as it did when I unbuckled my guitar case.  “I’m sorry, Tucker, but I’m not here to listen to you play.  I thought I’d take a crack at auditioning; see if I could play as good as Alex.”

Tucker laughed, “My fucking mother could play better than Alex right now, both his arms are broken, but she ain’t here.  But, damn girl, you look hot.  I’d like to buy some stock in that ass later.  My place or yours?”

I grimaced in Tucker’s direction.  I noticed a couple of six packs open where he had been sitting.  I smiled sweetly at Tucker, “I think you are subhuman when you drink and talk like that, so I’d appreciate it, if when you do drink, you don’t speak to me.”  I turned to Shane.  He tore his eyes off my guitar and looked at me, waiting.  “Shane, is it okay if I try?”

Shane tilted his head.  “That looks an awful lot like a 1964 Gibson ES0335 TDC,” he murmured.

“Yeah, an awful lot like it.  So, can I play?”

“You tell me, Grace.   Can you play?”

Lea giggled.  “Come on, Conner, get your camera phone out.  You are going to wanna record this.”  Conner dug through his pockets as I plugged my guitar into Alex’s amps.

“Give me a fucking break.  Don’t let her embarrass herself like this.  Shane, tell her no!” Tucker yelled.  He was cut off from yelling more by one of Lea’s shoes flying across the room and smacking him in the head.

I pulled the old leather strap over my head and let the beautiful heaviness of my instrument hang from my shoulder.  The hardwood and course strings beneath my hands sent shivers through my body.  I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.  Butterflies stirred in my insides; flapping their tiny, little wings from their long dormant slumber.

Slowly, I began playing the sweet low melody that Shane had played for me the first time in the studio, mimicking it perfectly.  The beginning dynamics of the sad melody were soft and desperate, and then I increased them to a faster level, pushing and tempting the longing emotion of the music.  I begin pounding out dark chords to create a sensory texture that stabbed straight into my spinal cord and bolted through every pore in my body.  A warm rush of blood twisted and spiraled across my cheeks and down my torso, causing the hairs on my neck to stand up along the way.

A rich, darker sound melted into my melody.  Shane had joined me, twisting our notes together in a passionate harmony.  The notes we bore were like the blood that flowed through our veins feeding our beating hearts.

Our rhythm continuously got faster, truly as a heartbeat in the throes of a passionate climax within the song. The dynamics of the music were increasingly getting louder until both our instruments met at the top with what seemed like an explosion of sound.  We  pushed each other to new musical heights, an idea played by Shane would be finished or embellished by me and vise-a-versa. Then the dynamics of the melodies changed again to a decrescendo, a softer level, returning from the climax and passion, to the sadness and longing, until the song slowly ended with a thick heavy silence.

When we ended the song, he was breathless.

“What else can you play?” he asked almost panting.

“Anything you want me to,” I replied.

A determined looked shadowed his features. “Hendrix,” he answered.

I grinned wide and blasted through Purple Haze from start to finish, embellishing on Hendrix’s infamous guitar solos and deliberate distortions.  My fingers hummed.

Shane stared with disbelief still flooding his darkening expression.  It clawed at me; my fingers flittered along the strings again.

Improvising, my goal being to make Shane’s jaw drop even further, I began a soft ballad, unfolding the notes at a slow measured pace.  My fingers bounced towards all genres of music, each note giving rhythm and birth to a funky piece of music that soared throughout the studio.  A bleak bluesy beginning dripped from each note, transforming into a jazzy composition and weaving into a web of classical eloquence.  My fingers moved faster, turning the melody into a sharp shrill rock solo and then into the heavy chords of thrash.  Slowly, I returned to the low murmurs of a hushed lonely melody, like a heartbeat unraveling its beautiful ethereal essence into the heavens until there was silence.

“That girl can play,” Ethan’s voice cut through the silence.

Alex chuckled, “Yeah, and I think I’m in love!”

“Shut up,” Shane said.  He glared at me, “Play more.”  Sitting back against one of huge couches that were haphazardly laid out around room, he gestured for me to continue.  His expression looked agonized and I was immediately regretful for showing him this side of me.  This was supposed to be my thank you, something good; not someone that should make him angry with me.

“No,” I said shaking my head.  “You seem really upset with me for some reason right now and that’s not what I had wanted to happen, Shane.”  I slid the strap of my guitar over my head and gently leaned my guitar against the amp.  I grudgingly got my case and started packing up.

“Don’t go, Grace,” Shane said just above a whisper.

My eyes met his.  He looked tense and scared.  “What did you want to happen?”

“I honestly thought you would let me play for Alex and that you wouldn’t be angry.  I don’t understand what it was that I did wrong, but right now, you look like you want to kill me,” I explained.

He ran his hand through his hair and grabbed his guitar.  He paused and watched me for a moment, “I’m just thunderstruck right now, I’m not angry.  That’s like the third time in less than a week you’ve managed to shock me.  What else can you do?  Fly?  Or,” he started laughing at me, “Or, can you also play the piano and sing?  Because then I’d understand Alex, then I’d be in love with you too.”

I froze.  “Well, we definitely wouldn’t want that, would we?  So let’s just say that I can play guitar really well and I can’t do anything else.”  I felt my face blush.

“Ha!  Don’t let her kid you.  She can do it all,” Lea laughed.  Startled, I jumped back a bit. I had forgotten that everyone else was there with us.  Oh, that’s not good.

Shane stopped strumming his guitar and looked at me curiously.

Ethan jumped up and pulled me over to keyboard.  He switched it on and stood close enough to me that I felt uncomfortable.  I looked up at him timidly, but he smiled down at me and brushed the hair off my shoulder.  “Go ahead, Grace, make us fall in love with you,” he chuckled jokingly into my ear.

I blinked.  Screw it; I want to play.  Gabriel said live this life.  This was me living. Hopefully in the interim of me living, I’d find him.

Not thinking any further, I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, remembering the song that Shane had played for me on his guitar.  That piece needed a piano part.  I thought about the words he sang, the torment and the longing.  I reached for the microphone that Alex used to sing into when he played the keyboard switching it on.

Slow and steamy, I let the lyrics fall from my lips.  My fingers danced like raindrops across the keys.  I tore through the haunting melody as if it was a brilliant light to help them in their darkness.  I bared my soul in each word, note and breath.  My soul had been on mute for thousands of years until this very moment.  Tears threatened to burst from my eyes, so I kept them closed tight.

I let my voice drift to a whisper and stop. My fingers continued their feverish playing, blanketing everyone with the shear depths of the real me.  I saw him behind my closed eyelids, pale blue angels eyes. My angel; my soul mate. The melody swirled around me, washing me in ancient visions. The world has been dull and unkind without him.  I played for him, for how we used to sing together in the gardens, a gentle ethereal ballad.

Ethan’s cool hand on my shoulder startled me into stopping. My fingers clutched at the keys.  My eyes flew open and everyone was standing there gaping at me.  But not Shane, Shane had never gotten up, he was kneeling with both hands, leaning on his guitar; his fingertips white from tension.

“I think I can speak for everybody here, you’re taking Alex’s place,” Ethan announced.  “Where the hell did you learn to play like that?”