Fallacy (Apprehensive Duet Book 1) (24 page)

“And by people you care about, do you mean us or Quinn?” he asks. He never brings up Quinn, which I’ve always been thankful for. I just wonder why he’s asking now. Especially with my thoughts of trying to work through things with her when I come back here permanently. My feelings toward her are a fucking mess.

“You guys. It’s hard to care about people who don’t care about you.” I feel the disdain seep into my voice as I say it out loud to him for the first time. Despite my lingering love for her, anger always takes precedence when thinking about Quinn. I have no closure. And it makes me fucking furious. I deserve that at least.

“Well, sometimes it’s hard to show people you care about them from the other side of the country.”

“I loved that girl. The lack of caring didn’t come from me,” I growl harshly.

“How was I supposed to know that, man? It’s not like you ever told me what happened with you two,” he replies defensively. And he’s right. I never told Ashley or Tanner what actually happened between us. At first, I didn’t say anything because I was angry. Then I was just numb, really. I didn’t want to think about her, so I never talked about it, and he didn’t bring it up.

“Fuck, I don’t even know what happened to us!” I blurt out, frustrated. This is all I’ve been thinking about for a few weeks while trying to decide what the hell to do. With Quinn. With the job offer. “Everything was great, and then boom, she wants nothing to do with me. It’s all the explanation I got. Even when I pressed for more, she shut me out. She quit us cold turkey. We were together for two years and then done. That’s it. What the hell is anyone supposed to make of that?” A slight pain starts to creep into my chest remembering the way she broke up with me and vanished.

“I’m sorry. That has to be rough.”

It’s the truth. That’s why I’m thankful I at least found Tiffany. She has helped me try to work through some of the shit in my head regarding Quinn.

Tanner of all people knows how hard this is, but at least he knew what went wrong. Not that he deserved everything Ashley dished out to him.

“You’re telling me? I fucked my way through half of Phoenix, as often and as dirty as possible, and I still can’t get the woman out of my head.” I did attempt to move on from her.

“Does any of this mean you’re coming home?” he asks laughing.

“I took the job two weeks ago. I just haven’t said anything yet because I’m still not sure if it’s the right choice for me,” I finally admit to him. I hadn’t wanted to say anything to anyone yet because I’m trying to think of a plan of action for attempting to get my woman back, if I’m honest, or at least the closure I’ve been waiting the last two years for. I wanted to wait until I got settled before telling people.

“Well, since you took the job, no turning back now. If you couldn’t fuck her out of your head from across the country, then I say coming home where you have support is a good choice.”

“Yeah, but she’ll be here too.” There’s so much uncertainty when it comes to moving back here. Quinn could tell me to go fuck myself. I have no clue whether or not she even misses me. It’s fucking scary. Staying in Arizona, where I don’t have to see her, is the safe bet. But I don’t want to do that. I want answers and maybe a shot at fixing this. This is the first time my brain has processed the thought without hesitating. But if she doesn’t want me, I’ll have to see her more often than I would in Scottsdale. But there, even though she was out of sight, she was still never out of my mind.

There have been times when I was able to push her from my mind, for a little while. Then I’d come across something which would remind me of her, and the floodgate would open. My mind would be infiltrated with all things Quinn. I won’t get that luxury here. I’m going to be stuck in this limbo forever if I don’t find the answers I need.

I’m bracing myself in the waiting room before I head to Ashley’s room to see her and the baby. I’ve been back and forth between Jersey and Arizona, but I’ve been able to avoid any run-ins with Quinn over the last two months.

I wasn’t expecting Ashley to have the baby today. I was just supposed to help Tanner grab a restored rocking chair from his parents and bring it back to his house. None of this was in my plans for today. I wasn’t expecting to see Quinn.

My feelings are still too all over the place right now. A big part of me feels just as angry as I did the day she broke up with me. But I’m not only angry, I’m hurt, sad, and confused as well. Part of me wants to see her again. It’s been a very long time since I’ve laid eyes on the woman … maybe she’ll get that soft look in her eyes like she does when she lets her walls down. So there’s a little bit of excitement brewing inside of me too.

The small bit of excitement takes over the rational side of my brain. I know I’m setting myself up for pain when the rational side is right, and she looks at me with guarded eyes. Or worse treats me like I’m nothing but one of her one-night stands.

Walking into Ashley’s room, my small glimmer of hope grows when she looks at me with some softness and familiarity.

The moment my eyes land on her hand rubbing circles on my niece’s back, I spot the ring adorning her finger. My blood turns cold. My face hardens as I turn for the door. I need to get the hell out of here before I do or say something stupid.

Fuck me!

I swear my friends back in Arizona heard the last little bit of my heart break from here.

Engaged?
She’s fucking engaged!

Why does this woman still have the ability to wreck me? And the worst part of it is I can’t do a damn thing to stop it. I’ve tried. I’ve
really
tried. Most of the female population in Scottsdale can attest to it.

I’ve been doing everything in my power to get Quinn Taylor out of my mind for the better part of two years, and she moved right the hell on.
Engaged!
Just thinking the word alone has me sick to my stomach.

I never expected to see Quinn standing here, rocking our goddaughter as if she was put on this Earth to coddle a baby. My senses are in overdrive. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about the future with Quinn—marriage, babies, the white picket fence. I would’ve bet the farm on Quinn being the one for me. I remember every detail about our love, even if she refused to acknowledge that’s what we had.

I invested in her. She was the most serious relationship I’ve ever had. I was happy and in love. God, was I in love. Everything about Quinn made me happy.

But the same couldn’t be said for her. She wasn’t happy. And I had no Idea.

I was the oblivious fool blindsided by a breakup I never saw coming. Deep down a part of me always hoped she’d change her mind about us. That she just needed time. Time to remember how good we were together, but I guess I was wrong.

What do you do when the only woman you’ve ever pictured a future with decides to marry someone else?

Quinn

I haven’t even gotten through her massive front doors when Ashley comes barreling down the stairs toward me, “You’ve got some serious explaining to do.”

I can’t help but laugh at her as she tries to scold me. Gone is her fabulous wardrobe, a new mommy-friendly one in its place. She’s in ratty sweats, a T-shirt twelve sizes too big, her messy bun is sitting on the side of her head like a bad eighties hair-do and she has a sleeping beauty curled up in her arms. “See what you have to look forward to, kid?” I say, leaning in to kiss Michaela’s head.

“I’d kick her ass too if she was marrying some douche to please everyone but herself,” she snaps, pulling the baby away from me.

Setting my bag on the table, I walk over to grab Michaela from Ash. She’s not keeping the baby from me because she has her panties in a twist about my engagement. I’ve avoided her since she gave birth a few days ago because I didn’t want the lecture, but it’s inevitable. “Okay, you really need to chill for a minute. Why are you so fired up about this? You’re not the one marrying him.”

“And you shouldn’t either. I’ve seen you fight against this stupid idea for almost a year. You were out of your mind with anger when your father demanded you agree to this marriage. Now out of the blue, you’ve agreed,” she huffs as she paces the length of the entryway.

“Give me the baby,” I demand. If I’m going to have to listen to her bitch at me, I’m doing it while holding Michaela.

Sighing, Ashley reluctantly passes me Michaela and asks, “What’s really going on, Quinn?”

“I have my reasons. You need to trust me,” I reply as I inhale the sweet baby scent rolling off my goddaughter. Something about the smell of this baby calms my nerves. Maybe it’s the fact she’s so innocent and pure. The world hasn’t tainted her yet.

“Why? You don’t even like him,” she asks, a look of confusion crossing her face as she turns and heads toward the back of the house.

“Ashley, you’ve known me for a very long time. Do I ever do anything I don’t want to do?” I ask as I follow her.

“No, which is why I don’t get why you’re doing this.”

“I don’t need you to get why I’m doing this. I just need you to believe me when I tell you I have this under control.” I settle back against the kitchen island and wonder to myself if I really do have this under control. I just keep telling myself that I only have to wait out the merger. After the merge, my father can’t do a thing to me. But that hasn’t helped to settle the fear lodged deep inside me.

“I’m not letting you do this, Quinn. I’ll find a way to get you to see reason on this. I’m not going to stand by quietly and let you make the biggest mistake of your life.” Ashley declares. The conviction in her voice tells me she’s not going to let this go.

I sigh and look back down at the baby in my arms and think to myself:
too
late. It’s already done. The engagement announcement will hit all the major papers tomorrow and, of course, be featured in the
Times
this weekend.

I can’t say I’m shocked by her reaction. Ashley’s a hopeless romantic—has been since the day I met her. Ashley lives the fairytale life. It was a hard road for her to get here, but she got it nonetheless, and it makes her believe anyone can have an incredible life with an adoring husband and beautiful babies. But that’s just not true.

With everything else on my plate at the moment, I was hoping that my best friend would be here for me throughout the whole wedding. Her reaction makes it clear that she’s not going to make this easy for me. I don’t know if I have any more room for another battle to fight right now.

My father finally gave me the VP promotion I was promised two years ago. Although it seems to have lost its luster with everything the man is doing to me. As soon as the engagement had been made official between Jordan and me, my father sent me a copy of the announcement with a new name plaque and a note telling me he’s a man of his word and I should remember that in case I was considering changing my mind.

I thought about telling Ashley the truth for a moment but decided it will just make everything harder for me. She’ll never understand and won’t stop trying to convince me not to go through with everything. The threat is real and my father has become unhinged.

Some risks in life just aren't worth taking.