Fallen (49 page)

I
let
my head
drop
,
drawing in a shuddering gasp,
unable to comprehend his words.

We sat
there
for a
n indescribable
length of
time, neither of us wanting to move apart. I could feel
in him the need to hold me, to touch me, and I was too happy to move. His arms stayed wrapped around me;
his
soft, sweet breath brushing my neck.

“How
is your hip
healing?” he whispered
into
my hair, tickling the back of my neck in a pleasant way.

“I don’t even
know it’s there
,” I said, trembling.

I could feel his body relax
and
loosen
upon hearing the
news.
“Good. I was concerned with all the blood you lost.”

My head snapped up. I could feel my eyes glowing at this partial confession. “You were there, weren’t you? In the nurse
’
s office…”

He smiled wistfully at me. “I was.”

“I knew it,” I muttered, pleased. “I could feel you
with me
.”
I paused, watching him
.
A
wave of apprehension swept
over me
as I recalled my declaration to him
.
“Did you hear everything I said?”

“
I did,”
he replied
,
simply.

“Then why are you still avoiding me?”
I asked noticing that my tone was just a level below pleading.
“Is it because…” I swallowed before continuing because my throat seemed to be
holding back
the words I needed to say. “Is it because you don’t feel the same?”

He looked away, staring at nothing in particular, and I grew nervous. In reaction, I slid away from him,
away
from the warmth and protection of his arms
and shifted
to the
hard,
cold
bench. I thought, though I couldn’t be certain, that his arms tightened for just
an
instance
, refusing to let me go, but then released their hold entirely.

“I can take the truth,” I said, staring at him, willing him to answer me honestly.

“
My feelings for you are not the issue
.” His voice was strained. Something was still
holding him
back.

“
I’m confused. What does that mean
?”

“There is a lot you don’t understand. You don’t remember it all…but I do. You’ll need to trust me when I say that what I do, I do for your own good.”

“That is not an answer.”

“Until the time comes when I explain it all to you, t
hat answer will need to suffice,
”
he replied, continuing to avoid my eyes.

I sighed
in frustration
, but it did no good. Judging from
his restraint
, I was not going to win this argument.

I recognized in myself something I didn’t think was possible. I submitted to him, entirely. I gave him the uninhibited ability to make decisions that would include my welfare, knowing I only allowed this because I trust
ed
him completely, without any reservation.

“
I know you are holding back, not telling me everything, but I also know that you’re doing it for my
well-being
. So, despite my frustration in that,
I want to t
ha
nk you for saving me from
the
Fallen One
.”

He suddenly
pulled back
, attempting to get a better look at me
. “What did you say?”

“I’m being serious. I actua
lly felt genuine fear this time-”

“No,
about the
Fallen One
,” he corrected. Only then did I realize
he wasn’t teasing. He was
frighteningly
serious.

“
Elam
…
”
I clarified.

“
Elam
?” he said, alarmed.

“Yeah, he came in as a
substitute teacher and tried to…well, he tried to
blow me up.” I realized how ridiculous that sounded and I almost laughed at myself but Eran didn’t seem to
find anything about what I said to be funny
. He was now absorbed in thought – a thought that
distressed
him
,
judging by his expression.

“H
ow did you know? That he was a
Fallen One
?” Eran asked, slowly
and
deliberately, his eyes still focused downward.

“My built in radar,” I said with a smile, which faded when Eran remained
he
ad down, mouth set in a firm
line
. “The hair…on the back of my neck. It stands up. I met a guy named Battersbee
who
helped me understand it
. Eran…” I waited for him to finally look up. “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry. This is serious.”

“I can see that.”

Eran stared
into
the distance, deep in thought. “But we had killed them,” he muttered, confused. “Every last one of them.”

“Killed them?” I said, alarmed.

“There’s no time to discuss the past. I have to get you to safety.”

I was nervous to admit it, not knowing if Eran might think of me as a fool from this point forward
,
but I went ahead and mentioned it anyways.
“I would have told you sooner but I didn’t think you knew anything about them.”

“Sooner?” he asked, his eyes lifting to meet mine, dri
lling
into
me
. An unsettling pang coursed through me and I shoved back the feeling of incompetency
.
Yet Eran’s next words made it clear that he didn’t consider me a fool. He was worried about something else entirely.
“You said this
Fallen One
had just arrived.”

“Yes, but there are more.” I began to get nervous at this point, realizing I’d made a mistake in not
bringing this up sooner
.

He stared pointedly at me. “
More?
How many more?”

“Well, there’s Achan and Sarai. Sharar only showed up once.”

“So four…” Eran said to himself.

“Achan and Sarai are the only ones who’ve been around for a while though.”

“Doesn’t matter.
”
H
e shook his head. “Even if you don’t see them yourself, they’re there. They wait for the right time to
attack
.”

“Oh…” I muttered,
again
feeling foolish.

Eran
released his breath in a rush
.

“
Of course,” he muttered
as he
came to understand
something
that
I
hadn’t
yet
. He
shifted to stand up. I stayed seated on the bench as he
floated
a few paces away, his hand to his mouth
,
deep
in
thought.
He dr
opped it just before explaining.
“I couldn’t understand why you get
into
trouble so often.
It’s not common.
I see now…”

“
W
hat
do you mean
?”

He turned to me, his expression tense, and began to explain.
“
Didn’t you find it odd that the moment you grew roots and stayed longer than a few months in any one
place that
your life was suddenly and consistently in danger?”

I thought about this for a moment. “Well, I’ve always been in trouble, causing trouble for the most part
as
I deliver messages, but my life was never actually at risk until…” my voice fell away.

“Until just a few months ago
,
” Eran finished my thought aloud.

Eran was right. I mean nearly being run over,
being
impaled,
narrowly escaping being
bitten by a venomous snake,
and having the room you are in be
blown up were not run of the mill – at least not all
happening to
the same person
within a matter of months
.

Eran came to squat in front of me so
our eyes were level
.
His
face was drawn in and strained. “
Remember how I told you that
Fallen One
s take with them to earth different abilities?
They don’t know that when they took your life before – as
an infant
– that
you
came back
reborn. They think you
chose to fall
and they had no idea what kind of
ability
you brought with you.
”

“Okay, what does that mean?” I asked, thoroughly confused on his point.

“
Magdalene, they were testing different ways to kill you.”

Eran waited for me to make a move, to speak, to
…
at the very least
…
flinch. I couldn’t. The
awareness
of their intentions
and
their coordinated
strategy
caused the memories
of each attempt
to
flood back to me, feel
ing
as if I were
suddenly
locked in a concrete block.