Fallen Angel (22 page)

“
Know what else makes me feel alive?” she whispered. He shook his head. She crooked her finger at him beckoning him forward and he leaned closer. She grasped the front of his shirt and pulled him down capturing his lips with hers. She pulled his lower lip into her mouth and heard him gasp. She curled up toward him and he broke the connection putting his hand on her stomach.

“Careful don’t tear it open.”

“Oh yeah, it doesn’t hurt now,” She looked up at him and her eyes were glassy. “I feel funny.” She reached up with her fingertips and ran them lightly across his lips, then over his cheek and down along his jaw line. He smiled, whatever the doctor had given her had decimated her inhibitions. She was going to be really mad when it wore off. She frowned and dropped her hand to her bandaged stomach.

“He wanted to kill my baby.” She said softly. Luke felt his breath catch he had convinced himself that she had made the whole thing up
reasoning that as much time as she spent on the Ranch, if she were pregnant she would be showing. He hadn’t even told the Doctor there could be a possibility of her being pregnant.

“Angie, is there really a baby?” He asked softly. She looked up at him and grinned,

“Of course not silly, all those animals don’t you know what it takes to make a baby?” She teased him and giggled. Her smile faded and her eyes were unfocused. “You said not a dirt bed.” She said so quietly he barely heard her. She was running her hand lightly over her stomach.  “An imaginary baby to go with an imaginary relationship.”  He put his hand over hers on her stomach.

“Our relationship is not imaginary.” She looked up into his eyes,

“Do you think our imaginary baby would have had your eyes?”

“Angie listen to me
that baby never existed. Don’t be sad you will have lots of babies as many as you want.”  She smiled again and he felt relief wash through him.

“I want lots of babies. Do you want babies Luke?”

“I do.”

“You want a son, ranchers need sons.”

“Yes.” He was absently rubbing her stomach along with her now. She jerked her hand up and grasped the front of his shirt.

“What if it’s a daughter, what if she doesn’t have your eyes,” Her voice was frantic now and her glassy eyes looked panicky. “Will you still love me then?”

“Angie I will love you no matter what, children or no children, boy or girls, no matter what they look like.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him.

“Luke, what is the matter with me? I can’t control myself I can’t control what I am seeing in my head.”

“It’s the medicine they gave you. I’ll go get the doctor.”

“No.” She said frantically tightening her grip on his shirt. “Please don’t leave me here alone, I’m so scared, there is so much blood.” She began to sob against his chest and he wished if nothing else the doctor would come back so he could break his nose.
He stepped up onto the bed and stretched out beside her he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him.

“Hey, look there’s no blood. I won’t let anyone hurt you I promise.  Tell me about this little girl we’re going to have, does she have your eyes? You have beautiful eyes. Does she have your red hair too?” He felt her shake her head and she pulled back just enough to
see his face.

“No, blond curls.”

“A baby girl with blue eyes and blond curls, that sounds very idyllic.”

“Luke, I think I am broken,” She whispered, “How can I be someone’s mother?”

“You’re joking right? You were a very dedicated mother to a horse. After that a real baby will be easy.”

“But that was… that was before…”

“No, don’t think that way. Hey we’re getting married, tell me what you want your wedding to be, do you want a big church wedding?”

“No, I don’t want anything big.” 

“Alright, what do you want?”

“I am not really sure.
”

“Alright, would you like to hear what I want?” She looked up at him and smiled,

“Yes, I would.”

“Alright well if you don’t want
a church wedding, I was thinking that we would get married under that big oak tree that you like so much.”

“Are you going to wear the hat?”

“What hat?”

“The black one that you always wear
.” She laid her head on his shoulder.

“I… well I don’t know, should I wear it?”

“Yes, I like the hat.”  She sounded much more relaxed now he smiled.

“What else do you like?”

“Hmm I like the way you smell, you don’t smell like you usually do but you still smell good.”

“How do I usually smell?”

“Like horses and hay.”

“I guess that’s to be expected.” He laughed.

“Luke, do you remember that day in the barn when you were talking about desire?”

“Yes.”

“Is that how you feel about me?” Luke took a deep breath, she had lost her inhibitions but he still had his. He wondered if she would remember any of this.

“Yeah, that is exactly how you make me feel.
” He whispered.

“Have you ever felt that way before?”

“No, never.”

“
Then how do you know what it is?”

“That is a good question, I don’t know how I know, I just know.”

“I want to touch you, to feel you touch me, I have never wanted to be touched by anyone, I like my space. Do you think that is the same thing?”

“I think so.”

“Do you think it makes me a… a… loose woman?”

“No I think it means that you love me.”

“I do love you. Does that mean that you don’t mind my touching you?”

“I don’t mind, you can touch me whenever you want.”

“You know I am going to take you up on that just as soon as I can move again.” She sighed he laughed. She was quiet for a few minutes and he looked down and saw that she had fallen asleep. He bent and kissed her forehead. He wondered again if she would remember the conversation once she woke. He knew he would never forget it. He didn’t like that she had gotten upset but he liked how candid she had been, he knew she wouldn’t have freely admitted all that she was feeling. He knew that he wouldn’t have either. Soon he would make her his forever when he closed his eyes he could see her in a white dress under that tree. As soon as she had healed he would make it happen.

Luke woke with a start, Angie was thrashing and struggling against him. He let go of her but he gently shook her.

“Angie, wake up.”

“I won’t, you can’t make me scream.” She said through clenched teeth. She was obviously in pain again.  He tried shaking her again but she just continued to struggle against him. He was worried that she was going to tear open her stitches.  He started to just pull away from her completely but then he got an idea, he bent and pressed his lips to hers. After a few seconds she stilled, then she began kissing him back.

“Oh Luke.” Her voice was a breathy whisper
. He was surprised that just the sound of his name on her lips could cause the hair on his neck to stand.

“You hurtin’?” She nodded.

“Yeah a bit.”

“
Here hold still and I’ll move.”

“No. I would rather you stay.” She said grabbing a hold of his shirt as if she could hold him there. He smiled.

“Alright, what can I do to make you more comfortable?”

“Nothing I am fine.”  She said and snuggled back against his chest. He put his free arm back around her and sighed. It was early still
, he began absently stroking his fingers through her hair.

“Thank you. For last night I mean, I am really sorry if I said anything that made you uncomfortable.”
She mumbled against his chest. He smiled, she did remember.

“You don’t have to thank me, and you didn’t make me uncomfortable, you know you can tell me anything right?” He felt her nod but he knew she wasn’t ready to be as forthcoming as she had been.

Angelica carefully tested her limbs and various other parts of her body trying to determine what
caused her pain. Right now it felt like just breathing hurt. It was a good thing that Luke had gone to see if he could find her some real food because he would not have been happy to see her struggling to sit up in the bed. She heard the door open and looked up expecting to see Luke, but it wasn’t Luke that came through the door it was the doctor.

“Good morning Mrs. Harrison how are you feeling today?”

“Alright.” She said eyeing the Doctor warily.

“Good good, I brought you something to help with the pain.”
He pulled a syringe from his pocket and she immediately put up her one free hand.

“No, I don’t want it.” She said adamantly.

“Now now, Mrs. Harrison be reasonable, this is going to make you feel better.”  She scooted away from him and felt pain shoot through her abdomen taking her breath.

“No, I said no.” She panted.

“Mrs. Harrison I don’t want to have you restrained but I will, now hold still before you hurt yourself.” The sound of the chamber rotating as a pistol hammer was pulled back caused them both to look to the doorway.

“Doc
, do you think you’re good enough to take a bullet out of yourself? Because if you don’t get away from her we’ll find out.”

“Mr. Harrison I mean no harm I was just trying to give her something for the pain
.”

“She said no, so leave her alone.”

“Fine.” The Doctor looked rather irritated as he left the room. Luke uncocked his gun and slipped it back in his holster.
He dropped the leather bag he was carrying and walked to the bed.  Angelica leaned her head against him and he put his arms around her. She cried softly against him.

“I don’t want to stay here anymore. Will you take me out of here please?”

“Angie, I know you don’t like it here but you need to heal.” She looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

“Please Luke.” He swept the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Alright let’s go home.”

“Thank you.” She sniffed. He tipped her chin up with one finger,

“Promise me, if the pain is bad you will tell me so we can stop.”

“I promise.” He picked up the leather bag he had dropped on the floor and set it on the end of the bed.

“Is that my bag?”

“I believe so, Matt and his people found it in the stables.  So the good news is you don’t have to go home in a hospital gown.” She smiled but her emotions were still feeling a little too strained to laugh. Absently her hand went to her throat where her locket no longer hung.  “Oh I forgot, I have that
.” He said noting the movement. He reached into his pocket and produced the locket then fastened it around her neck. Her eyes filled with tears all over again as she wrapped her hand around the small gold oval.

“Can I see?” He moved the bag up and she opened it and looked inside. It was her bag, everything she had packed to take with her was inside. She smiled to herself and lifted the hat out of the bag.  She put the hat on her head and grinned at him. “What do you think”?  He smiled.

“I like it. It should keep both the rain and sun off your head.” She laughed and took the hat off. He was so practical he didn’t say a word about how it looked just that it would serve its purpose. She looked though the bag until she found a simple shirt and skirt she could put on.

“Can you help me with this?” She asked indicating the sling.

“Ahh, why don’t I go get a nurse to help you.” She looked up and saw that he was slightly flushed.

“You know, never mind I think I can manage.” She smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Just give me a minute to get changed and I’ll be ready to go.
” He stared at her for a long moment with his hands on his hips, than he sighed rubbing his eyes.

“Alright.” He walked toward her reaching out to undo the sling.

“No really it’s fine I can do it.”

“No you can’t.” He untied the sling gently removing it from her arm.

“Luke,” she put her hand over his where it was gently cradling her arm. “It’s alright, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You can go get a nurse, I’ll wait.”
He reached out and tucked her hair back behind her ear then trailed his index finger down her jaw line, when he reached her chin he tipped her face up and kissed her lightly.

“I will do it.” He whispered huskily. She was looking int
o his eyes and the hunger she saw there made her weak, she could only nod in response. “Lay back.” He whispered and put his arm behind her and gently supported her until she was lying on the pillow. Her heart began to pound as he uncovered her legs. She felt his hands slide all the way up her legs and then gently lift her hips as he slid her pantaloons on under her gown. He repeated the process with her skirt and she could barely breathe.

“Alright, nice and slow let me do it.” He whispered right next to her ear as he slipped his arm underneath her again. She let him lift her and it didn’t hurt nearly as much as when she had done it herself. Once she was sitting up he pivoted her on the bed so he could unite the gown.  She closed her eyes, her entire being aware only of his hand
s sliding across her shoulder blades and then inside the gown sleeves as he gently slid them off her arms. She felt his hands brush the sides of her breasts as he carefully slid her arms into her camisole and goose bumps rose up on her arms. He pulled the camisole down settling it in place and she felt him kiss the bare space between her neck and her shoulder. She sighed and let her head fall back against him. He left a line of kisses from her shoulder to her ear and when he lifted his head she was surprised to find that he had her injured arm completely encased in her sleeve.  She helped to slide her other arm into the sleeve and then he gently pivoted her again so she was facing him she looked into his eyes as he buttoned the buttons. She had no idea getting dressed could be such a sensual experience but her heart was pounding and there was a heaviness low in her abdomen that had nothing to do with her wound. She reached out and touched his cheek, five days of growth made it feel less like prickly stubble and more like a short beard. She ran her thumb over his lower lip and then leaned forward and kissed him. She could feel one of his hands beside her breast on her uninjured side. He ran his thumb across her nipple and it sent a jolt of sensation straight to her core, she gasped breaking the kiss.  She looked up into his eyes again they were darker, he looked hungry and nearly as shaken as she felt.