Falling Stars (42 page)

"You
would know it if you felt it; however, with your 'situation' I'll try to
explain, though by no means is love something that can truly be defined in
words." He smiled and leaned forward toward me.

"Being
in love with a woman can drive you crazy. She makes you feel like a great man,
but can also bring you to a childlike state in a matter of one or two words.
She can make you laugh when you want to cry, let you think you have all the
power, but you know all that strength and power lie with her. You can see a
forever with her just from her smile or a look, and sometimes you'll feel like
you hate her for it."

He
lightly chuckled.

"You'll
never find anyone who can make you feel this way again, make you whole…"
It was there my expression stopped him from finishing his explanation.

I
swallowed hard and my eyes widened in realization.

"Christopher?"
he said with a small smirk.

"How
long have you had it figured out?" I didn't take my hardened eyes off the
coffee table in front of me.

"Oh…I've
assumed for a while now; however, it's not something someone can tell you. You
have to discover it on your own for it to be genuine and real." He sat
back smiling widely.

"So
this is what it feels like?"

He
nodded.

"It
kind of sucks, doesn't it?"

Doctor
J burst into a boisterous laugh.

"Oh
the student is learning so quickly," he calmed his laughter. "My
boy…it will be the worst and the best thing you've ever realized." With that,
he patted me on the back and excused himself from my room.

I
was such a fool. All this time I've been in love with Mia.

*
* * * *

In
Vegas, the stomach bug came back briefly, but dissipated. I convinced everyone
to let me out of the room for a while. We decided to take a walk through the
Vegas strip together. Bishop and Phillip objected to our very public stroll,
but eventually they settled for tagging along.

Cameramen
followed us and randomly a question asked. Sometimes they got an answer, other
times just smiles. When we passed an IHOP, I made them go into the restaurant.
Fans stopped us to sign autographs and we posed for some pictures as well. The paparazzi
bothered us some, but as long as we gave them a few shots and were cordial,
they seemed not to stalk our every move. Our security team’s presence also
deterred them from coming inside the restaurant. After we ate, we headed back
out to the strip and visited a few different places.

We
were having a good time just us girls. We didn't get to do this as we used to,
just shop and do normal things. On the way back to the hotel, we stopped in a
store to grab some snack stuff. Bishop and Phillip stood at the entrance of the
store to keep a close eye on those who entered the store. Kat headed straight
for the Slurpee machine, Laney b-lined for the chip aisle hoping to find some
vegetarian chips, and I went directly to the junk food aisle.

"Oh,
Mia," Kat sang coming around the aisle.

"Yes,
Kat," I sang back.

"Look
what I found," she tore open a large yellow bag. Smiling when I caught
sight of the big red fish on front of the open yellow bag, she shoved the
opening toward me.

The
smell filled my nostrils and I clasped one hand over my mouth. My stomach
twisted and my body convulsed. My eyes searched around the store. When I
located the restroom sign, I didn't hesitate. I barely made it to the toilet
before IHOP made its encore presentation in a convenient store toilette.

Washing
out my mouth in the restroom sink, I looked up into the mirror above the sink.
Serena's reflection was in the mirror.

"Shit!"
I turned around to her. "Don't do that!" She had a scowl on her face.
"What?"

"Those
were Red Fish."

"Really?"
I exaggerated.

"You
love those things," she continued.

"Thanks
captain obvious," I laughed.

"But
they just made you sick" she furrowed her brow in confusion. "You've
seemed really off lately too."

"So
what? You know this stomach bug has been –"

"Yeah,
but you’ve been sick a couple of times and then the fish made you sick enough
to throw up?"

"Yes
mom, I puked. My stomach has been –"

"Did
you sleep with Christopher?" she asked blurted.

"W-what?"
I stood frozen trying to fight the blush encompassing my entire head.

"You
did!" She put her hand on her forehead. "Oh God, Mia!"

"What?"
I got defensive. "I didn't say we had sex."

"It's
written all over your face." She covered her face, but a muffled groan
escaped around her fingers. "It was your birthday night when you two
disappeared. Wasn't it, when he stormed out of our room, and stopped talking to
you again?"

"I'm
old enough to have sex with whoever I want," I spat and narrowed my eyes
on her. "No matter how much you like to play mom –"

"Did
you use a condom?"

"What?"

"Oh
Christ, what if you're pregnant? Or worse, what if you caught something from
him?" Our discussion was elevating to argument very quickly.

 "Are
you out of your fucking mind? I'm not pregnant!"

"You
had sex. Did you use a condom?"

I
hesitated at her question.

"I'll
take that as a no." Venom dripped from her words. "Jesus Mia, you
have all the symptoms."

"You
damn well know I'm on the pill! I've been on it since you got pregnant."
We wore matching glares.

"When
was your last period?" She questioned like she had a medical degree.

"A
few weeks ago when I started the white pills, jerk!" I shot back.

"You
had a period?" I could tell she didn't believe me.

"Yes,"
I shouted.

"Shh!
Calm down. Was it heavy?"

"Oh.
My. God! I'm not doing this. I had a period and I'm on the pill. I have the flu
or something, let it go." Pushing by her, she grabbed my arm.

"Since
you're so sure, you won't mind taking a test for me," She challenged me
with a raised eyebrow and a fake smile. I was about to argue with her, but she
produced a white and blue box in an extended hand.

"Are
you fucking kidding me?"

"You’ve
been on antibiotics, Mia.  They can completely mess up your pills." Serena
pulled me back toward a stall. I stopped in place.

"What?"
I yelled, yanking my arm away from her. "No, I’m not—"

She'd
gone crazy. Did she really just carry those around in her back pocket or
something?

"I
grabbed it on the way in here." I hated how she could read me.

"Uh-huh,"
I eyed her skeptically.

"Just
do it, Mia," she shouted back. "Since you are so sure!"

"Fine,
Asshole!" I grabbed the box and went into the stall.

Sitting
there for what felt like forever, I obviously couldn't perform under pressure.

"Are
you done?"

"Shut
up, I can't pee!" I tried not to laugh too hard when I responded. Serena
stifled her laugh as well. Part of me was glad the harsh words were over and we
were getting back to acting like sisters again.

Finally,
I was able to perform.

"Hand
it to me," Serena ordered.

"Ew!
No." I shouted and fastened my pants. Reaching over, I grabbed the white
stick off the top of the toilette paper holder. One pink line stared back at
me. "What does one pink line mean?" I asked walking out.

"That
would be a negative," Serena exhaled in relief.

"Ha,
told you!" I handed over the stick to her and started a happy dance. "Whoot
whoot. Mia 1 / Serena 0," I laughed.

"Damn
it, Mia, you didn't wait for the results line."

I
looked at her confused. "Huh?"

"You
were looking at the control line before the test was finished." She fell
back against the wall looking at me with shock in her eyes.

"What?"
I reached down and grabbed the test. "What the hell is a control line?"

Two
dark pink lines taunted me from the little gray window.
Fuck me!

"Shit!"
My eyes snapped up to Serena's face. Her eyes closed, head leaned against the
wall. "What…How…I'm on the pill! I've been taking it every day. There has
to be something wrong with this….go and get another one, a different one."

"Mia
–"

"Go!
Now!"

She
pushed off the wall and went back out to the store.

When
she returned I tore open the new box and went back to the stall.

"That's
the only other kind they have here." Serena informed in a sad tone.

I
tried to force myself to pee again, but I was getting nothing. A bottle of
water appeared over the stall door. Pants around my knees, I stood up and
grabbed it. Chugging the water, I waited. It felt like I sat on that damn
toilet for hours before I could finally produce enough urine.

I
sat looking at the front of the test waiting for the result.
Pregnant
popped up in the little gray oval.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck Me!
I’m pregnant.
I’m pregnant with Christopher Mason's baby. Inner hooker packed up her bags and
ducked out the side door.

"Damn
it!" I screamed.

"What
the hell is taking so long?" Kat exclaimed, bursting through the restroom
door.

"Yeah,
what –?" Laney started.

Then
they both gasped in unison when their eyes shifted from Serena embracing me to
the white sticks on the sink.

Everyone
walked back to the hotel in stunned silence. Kat collected the tests, so not to
leave them behind for unwanted discovery. Serena had my right arm and Laney my
left, helping me walk back. Bishop and Phillip stole curious glances. Despair
wasn't strong enough of a word for the way I was feeling.

Of
course, we just had to pass Christopher and Elliott walking through the lobby.
I couldn't look at either of them. Keeping my eyes forward, I began to walk
faster.

Shit!
Can he tell? Of course, he can't tell. I've lost my mind. Maybe the tests are
wrong. They aren't one hundred percent accurate.

"What
happened?" Elliott's eyes on me were like stun guns, but I refused to
raise my eyes.

"Nothing,
she just isn't feeling well, again" Kat shrugged and kept walking me to
the elevator.

Christopher's
curious look was the worst, but I ignored him too. There was no way I could
look at him without breaking into a hysteric fit. It was straight to bed when
we got to the hotel. Exhaustion crept up on me and I fell soundly asleep. I
woke up with Serena lying next to me. I rolled over.

"Hey,"
her eyes opened and looked at me.

"You
okay?" she smiled small.

"I
guess," I sat up. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Sis."

A
tear escaped my eye and slid down my face. I hadn't called her Sis since I was
very, very young, but I felt like a small child right now.

"Maybe
it's wrong." The hopeful whisper of denial wasn't convincing to my own
ears.

Serena
sat up next to me. "We'll get through this. I'll be there and you know
Linda will be there for this baby just as she is for Ry. It will be –"

"Whoa,
Serena, I don't know if I can."

"It's
not easy but you know what it's like."

"No
you don't get what I'm saying. I don't think I can go through with the
pregnancy. I think maybe the best option here would be –"

"Don't
finish that sentence! Don't even think it." She shouted loudly, which
brought Laney, Kat and Una into the room. "You can't do that. That's the
most horrible thing you've ever –"

"What
the hell is going on?" Kat approached the bed and sat at the end. Laney
and Una stood next to her. Neither of us responded. Instead, we acted as if she
never said a word.

"I
have to consider all of my options and that is one of them. I'm not you!"
I argued back.

"Someone
please tell me what's going on?" Laney sighed loudly and dramatically.

"She
wants to kill the baby!" Serena yelled.

My
eyes grew large and quickly turned to Una, who now turned her wide eyes on me.
She moved her eyes over my stomach and back to my face.

"Mia…you…you're
pregnant?" She barely whispered out.

I
nodded as tears started to slip past my lashes. Laney stood up and put her arm
around me.

"Serena,
take it easy on her, she's fucking scared."

"Mia
you know I was scared at nineteen, but I did it and look at Ryan. Would you
want me to have gotten rid of him?"