Family Pieces (24 page)

After class, the two made their usual trek across campus to the student center for lunch. Suddenly, Hanna tugged on Karsen’s arm, pulling her hurriedly in the opposite direction.

“Ouch! What are you doing?” Karsen exclaimed.

Hanna kept walking. “I forgot something.” She pulled at Karsen’s sleeve harder, making her stumble and drop her bag.

Irritated, Karsen shook herself free. “Well, then I’ll meet you there.”

Before Hanna could stop her, Karsen turned around and instantly it all made sense. There before her eyes was James. He had apparently wasted no time. His hand brushed a loose hair from a girl’s cheek and placed it behind her ear. Karsen couldn’t help but stare. The girl’s radiant dark brown hair was cut into a trendy bob that lay just above her shoulders. She looked young, perhaps a freshman or sophomore, Karsen figured, noting the weather was a bit cold for the mini-dress she was wearing.

“Sorry.” Hanna rubbed her hand in a few small circles on Karsen’s back.

“It’s not your fault.” Karsen continued to stare at them.

“Come on. Let’s go. You don’t need to watch this.” Hanna picked up Karsen’s bag and held it out to her, but she didn’t take it. Instead, Hanna watched as Karsen, filled with an unusual confidence, sauntered directly to where the two were flirting.

“James! Helloooo!” She sounded calm, sophisticated even. As if she were approaching a highly regarded friend that she hadn’t seen in ages.

A look of alarm crossed his face.

“Hi,” he mumbled. His body tensed and his smile faded as he waited in anticipation of whatever was coming.

“Funny running into you here.” Karsen flashed a phony smile. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

Slowly, he answered in what Karsen thought to be the most rehearsed verbiage he could muster. “I decided to explore my employment options some more. The position wasn’t… well…it wasn’t the right fit for me.”
A nice way of saying you got canned and are now unemployed
, Karsen thought smugly.

She turned to the girl, who stood with a look somewhere between confusion and annoyance, no doubt assuming Karsen’s intentions were to step on her territory.

“Silly James, aren’t you going to introduce us?” Karsen said pretentiously. Before he could, Karsen extended her hand out to shake. “Hi, I’m Karsen. You are?”

“Josie,” said the girl tentatively. She grasped Karsen’s hand, her light grip flimsy against Karsen’s athletic strength.

“Nice to meet you, Josie.” Karsen said. Josie smiled slightly and nodded, not knowing how to react.

Karsen turned back to James.

“So, did you think about our discussion any further?” His eyes flashed in rage.

“I thought the situation was settled,” he said tightly.

Karsen’s insides boiled, yet she maintained her composure. If he thought he could simply move on without any repercussions, she’d show him.

“No, James, I’m sorry. WE haven’t settled anything.” She clenched her fists in her pockets and dug her fingernails into her palms. She had to maintain control of her emotions. “However, it appears you’re certainly clear on YOUR part.”

James unease grew. He fiddled with his fake designer watch. “I should probably be going now. Josie, I’ll see you later.” He hoped to conclude the conversation before Karsen’s ambiguous discussion turned more candid. Unfortunately for him, it was too late.

“Josie, you see, James here...”

“Karsen!” His temper flared and his tone implied for her to stop.

“Maybe I should be the one going,” Josie said uneasily.

“No stay, please, Josie. I assure you. You’ll want to hear this.” Karsen glared at James and continued. “As I was about to say, James here wants me to have an abortion.”

A deep blush rose in James’s face, turning it fire engine-red instantly. Josie stood, bewildered.

“Yes, that’s right. I’m pregnant with his child and he’s here seducing you. If I were you, I’d run along and don’t hesitate to tell all your friends about this one. He is not an honorable man.”

Glaring at James with contempt mingled with satisfaction Karsen turned and hurried back to Hanna. Behind her, Karsen heard him mutter “bitch” under his breath before pleading with Josie not to listen to a word she said.

“Oh my God!” Hanna mouthed as Karsen approached. Karsen grabbed her bag and they giggled as they hurried away.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Hanna gasped as they entered the food court.

Karsen swept her hand through her hair. A sense of empowerment radiated through her, reminding her of the inner strength that had been dormant for months.

“Me neither,” she giggled, feeling just a little more fulfilled.

The next morning, Karsen sat anxiously in Dr. Warren’s office. An oversized, stylish clock with numbers only at the quarter marks read approximately eight-thirty. She had not spoken to Dr. Warren since the ultrasound and was no closer to knowing what to do than she was then. She was faced with a series of negatives. Her head pounded and her eyes grew tired from stress every time the topic crossed her mind.

“Hello, Karsen.” Dr. Warren entered the room, quietly pulling the door closed. “How are you feeling?”

“All right, I guess.” She wasn’t really all right. In reality, she was really quite a mess.

Dr. Warren eased into her black leather chair, crossed her legs and folded her hands softly in her lap.

“’All right’ is a bit vague. Let’s start with how are you doing physically? Is the morning sickness bothering you still?”

“It’s manageable. I never want to see another cracker again, but I’m getting by.”

“Understandable.” Dr. Warren smiled, glad to see a spark of humor in Karsen’s response. “And how are you holding up otherwise? Have you thought about your options?”

“If you’re referring to abortion or adoption, then yes, I’ve thought about them. At least a little. But, I still don’t know what to do.” She studied Dr. Warren’s face trying to read whether she thought she was a lost cause.

“What about the father?” The doctor’s voice softened. “Is he still in the picture?”

“Not any more.” Karsen shook her head indignantly. She refused to cry. “He wants me to terminate the pregnancy.”

“Sounds like you’re hesitant to do so.”

“Not necessarily, I mean…I haven’t ruled it out. I just don’t want to regret it. But then I think, what will I do with a baby? I’m not stable. I haven’t graduated. I have little to no income. I just don’t see any way…” Karsen felt her heart rate increase.

“There is adoption. Good, secure couples are searching for children every day.”

Karsen closed her eyes. The picture of her child with another family tore into her. “I know. I just don’t know if I could live knowing I have a child out there. I can’t win. Any way I look at it, there is more negative than positive. I just don’t know what to do.”

Karsen put her face in her hands trying not to cry again.

Dr. Warren attempted to comfort and guide Karsen during the remainder of their session without making a decision for her. Karsen left feeling more confused than when she arrived. There was no right answer. She was scared. Scared to tell Brad and her dad, both of whom would be disappointed in her. Scared to make the wrong decision. Resentful she had to make it alone.

On the way home, Karsen dialed Brad and invited him over for dinner. She didn’t know how she was going to tell him about the pregnancy, but she felt it was time. As much as she valued Hanna, she needed another source of advice and she respected her big brother’s opinion as much as she would have her mother’s. He’d be a secure sounding board at least once the initial shock wore off.

Curious glances abounded as Addison entered her office the morning after her date. She was never late. Jacob eagerly awaited her arrival, almost pouncing on her the moment she arrived.

“Addison, Adelaide’s photos are adorable! I need you to select which one you prefer so we can finish the layout.” He shuffled an array of photographs on top of her desk before she even had time to remove her coat.

Her ears heard him, but her mind remained elsewhere. She flung her new Prada purse upon the credenza behind her desk, hung up her coat and reclined back in her chair. Her arms stretched behind her head and her foot bounced like a fishing bobber where it crossed at her knee. She glanced at the photos on her desk and noticed he’d also fetched her morning latte. She looked up without a word and scrutinized Jacob from head to toe. He stood motionless. For the first time, she felt it odd that he appeared nervous around her. Regretfully, she realized she’d been more domineering than empowering towards him.

She tapped her finger against her lip.

“Why don’t you choose, Jacob?” Her eyes twinkled. She saw something in him. Something that reminded her of herself. His subservient character aimed to please much like she had her father, but masked his gifted abilities. He was sharp, talented. How had she not seen this before? And the rest of her staff, had she stifled them, too, out of her need to be in charge?

“Really?” he said, shocked, before realizing the lack of confidence he was portraying.

“Really. And have Marjorie get my coffee tomorrow. Tell her you’re busy.”

He smiled and left the office, a feeling of fulfillment escalating inside him. Addison Reynolds had just empowered him to finalize a layout!

Marjorie’s head popped through Addison’s door. “Are you ill?” she demanded. Addison’s face flushed.

“I take it the date went well then?” Marjorie asked.

“Get back to work, Marge.”

“Since you’re in a good mood today, can I have a raise?”

“How about we discuss that after I drink my coffee. The usual please, with whip.”

“What’s wrong with the one on your desk?”

“It’s missing the whip.” Addison smiled. Marjorie rolled her eyes sarcastically. “You better get going if you want that raise.”

“You did have a good night,” Marjorie said, arching her eyebrows knowingly and smiling.

“Later, Marjorie.” Addison blushed as she waved her hand dismissively to shoo her out.

That evening, Brad arrived at Karsen’s apartment with a bag of Chinese food in hand.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, surveying the once immaculate space. The entry alone looked as though a tornado had hit. Her shoes, usually neatly tucked away, sprawled across the floor. Three days worth of dishes were piled in the sink. The only thing that looked in order was the bed, which appeared untouched like she had been sleeping on the couch instead.