Fashionably Dead Down Under (14 page)

“
What? Is that a big deal
?” They were
making me a little nervous. Why do I always talk before I
think?

“
It is
,” George said reverently.
“
It is.
”

“
You gonna expand on that, big guy
?” I
asked, already knowing the answer.

“
Nope
.”

“
Fine
,” I snapped. “
Where are we
and where are Ethan and my babies
?’

“
They’re still a ways away. This is the
processing center. When a soul enters Hell they come here and get
assigned a level.
”

“
Are the souls those obnoxious little
lights flying everywhere
?”

The General gasped and Bambi’s snout paled.
That was freakin’ weird. I was so obsessed that her nose went from
pink to white I forgot I had yet again apparently said something
wrong.

“
You see the souls
?” Bambi asked
blankly.

“
Um . . . maybe
,” I said, not wanting
to commit to the wrong answer. They could still eat me if they
wanted to.

“
What colors do you see
?” General
George demanded.

“
Why? Is this some kind of problem
?” I
shot back. I had places to go and shit to do. What in the hell was
the big deal?

“
No
,” he answered carefully. “
It
would just confirm our suspicions. What colors do you see?
” His
voice was gruff and quite honestly scary. Was there an incorrect
answer? Fuck. The truth will set you free . . . or get you eaten by
Hell Hounds.

“
Fine. And by the way, if you look over
your shoulder you’ll see me rolling my eyes . . . I see purple, red
and black.
”

They were silent. Did they hear me? General
George started to chuckle and Bambi’s beady little eyes swam with
tears. WTF?

“
Amazing
,” he murmured.

“
Let me guess
,” I said dryly, “
you
have no intention of explaining why I’m so fucking
amazing.
”

“
Correct, but know that you are not
exactly what we expected
,” he said.

“
Story of my life. Can we get moving
?”
Time was wasting and I needed my mate and my monsters.

“
Do you trust us
?” Bambi asked.

What’s with that question? Last time I
answered that little ditty I got a massive brain freeze from Hell
Hound teeth . . .

“
Will it hurt if I say yes
?” I asked,
bracing myself for something horrific.

“
Possibly
,” she said, smiling.

At least she was honest . . .

“
Sure. I, um—trust you to . . .
”

The searing crack of pain at the back of my
skull came from her paw that felt like a ton of bricks as it
connected with my head. The room went blurry and the Demons
appeared to have grown extra heads and lips. The soul lights looked
like a Christmas tree in a cyclone. This was the last fucking time
I trusted dogs . . . Slumping forward on the General’s furry back,
everything went dark.

“She’s dead, you know. It was so deliciously
violent and bloody. She screamed and begged . . . such a coward.
They had to decapitate her just to shut her mouth,” the woman said
in a tone laced with sex. “She’s not coming back.”

“Interesting,” a familiar male voice
answered. “You do realize I would know if that was true.”

“Fine,” she hissed. “But she will be dead
soon if you don’t comply with my wishes.”

The man said nothing. Was he considering
going along with the woman’s plan?

“I can make it so good for you,” she purred.
“I can make you forget her. I promise.”

“No,” he replied. “You can’t. No one can. And
if you kill her, I will know. I will come after you every day of my
life and destroy you until there’s nothing left to reanimate.”

“Are you flirting with me? That makes me
wet,” she giggled maliciously. “You do realize with you chained up
like an animal I could simply straddle you and fuck you.”

“You’re forgetting my species, darling. I
direct the blood flow and you do nothing for me.”

Was that Ethan . . . and Lust? I tried to
open my eyes, but they wouldn’t cooperate. I was on some kind of
fur rug with a heartbeat. Where was I and why were Ethan and Lust
talking? And why in the hell was she trying to have sex with my
mate? Again, I tried to sit up and speak. Again, nothing
happened.

“Have it your way,” she shrieked and a wave
of dark magic engulfed wherever the hell I was, “but you will be
mine. No one denies me, you bastard. No one.”

“Good luck with that,” he replied in a bored
monotone.

A crackle of lightening burst and my eyes
shot open. My body was still useless, but I could see. Ethan was
chained to a wall with iridescent chains binding his body. I
assumed they were enchanted. He was gaunt and pale. There were open
gashes on his beautiful arms and torso. Why hadn’t he healed? The
lightning hit him in the chest and his body jerked. He grunted, but
refused to make any other sound. My need to go to him was
overwhelming, but my body refused to agree.

“You stupid, stupid man,” Lust ground out
between clenched teeth as she pressed her breasts against his
chest. Her eyes were dilated with desire and she cupped him in her
hand. He was mine and I was going to kill her.

Except nothing worked—not my body, not my
mouth and my brain was mushy. How did I get here? The damn Hell
Hounds . . . I wasn’t laying on a rug with a heartbeat. I was
sprawled across General George’s back. I knew I was still cloaked—I
was cognizant enough to recognize that magic.

“
George, you fucker, help me wake up. I
need to kill Lust. Now
.”

“
Do you think that’s wise
?” he asked,
seemingly unconcerned that the slut was dry humping my mate.

“
Um, yes, I think it’s wise you jackass
and I’m going to make it hurt,
” I snapped. “
Help me or I’ll
. . .
”

“
What will you do, Little Astrid
?” he
inquired.

He had me there. Shit. What would I do? What
could I do? These freakin’ dogs had more unexplainable woowoo magic
than I’d ever witnessed. I was clueless how to even fight them.

“
Please, just help me
.”

“
Why don’t we think this through for a
moment
,” George suggested reasonably.

Not feeling reasonable in the least, I
imagined myself killing Lust and then kicking George’s ass until he
begged for mercy. “
General
,” I replied as calmly as an
insanely angry woman could, “
If some skanky dog was mounting
Bambi against her will, what exactly would you do
?”

“
I would kill him
.”

“
So, why is it that it’s cool for you to
off a skanky ho and not me
?”

“
What feels satisfying in the moment is
often the wrong move in the long run
.”

“
Is there some kind of prerequisite that
if you live in Hell you have to talk like a fortune cookie?
” I
groused.

General George chuckled, but didn’t lift his
hairy paw to help me in any way.

“You enjoyed me last time we were together,”
Lust cooed, running her hands all over the chest that belonged to
me.

Wait. What?

“That was a long time ago and quite honestly
I can’t recall much of it. Wasn’t that memorable,” Ethan said.

“You bastard,” she shrieked, slapping his
face hard. Her fingernails tore across his chest drawing more blood
and leaving angry red welts. “You turned me away when you found out
I was a Demon. Well, your precious Astrid is a Demon. Why can you
fuck her and not me?”

“I don’t love you.”

My heart tripped at his admission, but he was
in the doghouse for popping my slutty cousin . . .

“Love has nothing to do with it,” she
whispered as she licked the blood from his chest. “Your time down
here is running out, and if you ever want to see your little whore
Astrid again, you’ll have to satisfy my needs. It’d be a shame to
watch such a fine specimen of man turn to dust.”

“Do not call my mate a whore.” Ethan’s eyes
blazed and the room began to tremble. “Did you hear me?” he shouted
in a tone that scared me, and if I’m not mistaken made the General
and Bambi flinch as rocks fell from the ceiling and the floor
rumbled ominously.

“Stop it,” Lust screamed as she dodged a
chunk of rock that would have done some damage to her lovely face.
“Stop it,” she screamed. “Someone will come.”

“Answer the question,” he roared as the floor
began to separate.

“Yes,” she hissed. “I called her a
whore.”

One wall of the room caved in completely and
Lust looked terrified. Was she not supposed to be here? Did my
lovely Uncle Fucking Satan know about this?

“Never call her that again. Do you understand
me?” Ethan’s voice could have cut ice.

“Yes,” she spat angrily, but her body still
shook with shock and fear.

Ethan was the Hellquakes . . .

“
Did Ethan cause all the Hellquakes
?”
I demanded. Did that mean every time Lust hit on him parts of Hell
disappeared?

“
Yes
.”

“You win this round, pretty boy, but as your
time runs out you’ll change your tune,” she told him and backed
right into Bambi, who growled. Lust jumped away and paled
considerably. “What are you filthy dogs doing here?”

Bambi continued to growl low in her throat
and General George joined in on the chorus. Lust was furious, but
kept her distance from my furry friends. Did they talk to her? It
certainly didn’t seem like it.

“Are you spying on me?” Her demeanor was pure
evil, but she still stayed as far as she could from the Hell
Hounds. Interesting. Maybe the General had been right about
listening and learning, not that I’d ever tell him.

“
You don’t have to. I’d say I told you so,
but . . .
” George’s voice danced in my head. Shit—we were
still connected.

“
Can’t she speak with you
?” I asked,
assuming all Demons or at least Satan’s family could talk to the
animals.

“
Absolutely not
,” Bambi said
indignantly. “
She is not special. None of those girls are except
for our Dixie.
”

And apparently me. I’d mull that one over
another time. “
Can you get rid of her so I can help the man I
love
?”

“
I’m on it
,” Bambi said as she
advanced menacingly on Lust. Bambi was one scary dog when she
wanted to be. Her teeth were bared and her growl was vicious.

“Get away from me, you putrid beast,” Lust
demanded.

Bambi didn’t listen. Not one little bit.

“Fine,” she hissed, realizing she was backed
into a corner. “I’ll leave.” In a blast of glitter and smoke Lust
disappeared.

The General laid my body at Ethan’s feet. His
scent calmed me.

“
Astrid, this will be uncomfortable
,”
George explained.

I tensed and waited. I was sure his idea of
uncomfortable would be excruciating, but this time he was right. It
burned as my coordination and control came back, but it wasn’t
intolerable. Now standing in front of my mate, my blood lust and
libido went haywire . . .

“
Why can’t he see me
?” I asked

“
You’re cloaked
.”

“
But he can see through that
.”

“
Astrid, shockingly he maintains some of
his Vampyric powers, but not all of them. He cannot see
you.
”

“
And he grows weaker by the hour
.”

I closed my eyes and willed my corporeal body
back. His gasp and anguished cry made my heart leap to my
throat.

“Astrid,” he whispered. “My Angel.”

“Oh my God, Ethan,” I said, running my hands
gently over his body. He felt like home. “Why aren’t you
healing?”

“The chains keep most of my magic in check. I
can’t regenerate while I’m bound.”

“Then I suppose those sons of bitches have to
go,” I muttered, reaching for the glowing nightmare that kept him
immobile.

As my fingertips connected with the
shimmering metal, a vicious shock rocked my body and I was thrown
across the room.

“Astrid,” Ethan shouted and struggled to free
himself.

“I’m good,” I gasped. “I’m okay.”

“Goddamnit,” he roared and dropped his head
to his chest.

I stumbled to my feet and moved quickly back
to him. “Look at me,” I said, gently raising his chin. “I’m really
okay. Are these chains painful to you?” I examined them without
touching.

“There’s a low level constant burn, but
nothing like what it did to you. I don’t want you touching them
again,” he said in a tone that expected no back talk. Clearly he’d
forgotten who he was mated to . . .

“Your Highness.” I grinned cheekily, even
though my body still hurt. “There is no way I am leaving you here
like this so you can spank me once you’re free.”

“
TMI
,” George groaned inside my
head.

“That’s what you get for listening to my
thoughts.” I turned and glared at the General.

“
My dear child those were not thoughts.
You spoke aloud
.”

“Whoops.” I shrugged in apology and turned
back to my man.

“Are you talking to the Hounds or me?” Ethan
asked, confused.

“The hounds. I stuck my hands in their mouths
and the hairy bastards bit me and then we had the communication
mojo going. Kind of weird, but apparently there was a fine chance
of me dying on this level if I was visible. Of course then they
knocked me out and I didn’t get to see any of the horrors. By the
way,” I said turning to George. “What level is this?”

“It’s a subfloor below the main level,” he
said through his eyebrows in a voice that could clearly be heard by
both Ethan and myself.