Fast Forward (5 page)

Commercial Interruption

I swear
if I could scramble my DNA I would. I’d change who I was, where I was and how I was. Instead, I sat at the dining room table listening to my dad go off on me all night. Courtney, sitting there smiling, was loving it, of course. All she kept saying was I told you so. And my dad was all over that.

“I gave you everything, and this is what you do in return? I told you not to get into more trouble. The school warned you no more trouble and what do you do the very next day, you get into a fight. Now the only way to get back in is to take the admissions exam in October. What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me,” I said in my defense.

“I don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do now. You can’t go back this semester. That means you need to get yourself enrolled someplace else until the new year.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, still pissed that I had to pick up the pieces of my life because of Chili’s stupid drama.

“I’m through with this, Kenisha. That excuse is running thin with me. Nothing is ever your fault. You fought a pregnant girl. What’s wrong with you?”

“Did it ever occur to you that she started it, and I was just defending myself? The security guard was right there. He saw her push me twice.”

“Which apparently is the only thing stopping them from expelling you permanently. You should have walked away.”

“See, I told you James. She’s nothing but a troublemaker. When she slapped me last month, you should have kicked her ass back then. She has no respect for anybody. I say kick her out.”

“You don’t have to kick me out,” I said standing, “so don’t bother, I’m already out.” I turned and walked away.

“Kenisha, get back here. We’re not through yet. You got expelled. That means we need to get you in someplace else.”

“I say send her ass to public school,” Courtney demanded.

“My daughter isn’t going to public school. We’ll get a tutor for a few months. Barbara would want that.”

“Why the hell not public school? I went to public school, and ain’t nothing wrong with me. I turned out fine,” she said proudly.

“I didn’t say anything was wrong with public school
Courtney, I went to public school, too—and so did Barbara.”

“Do you have to mention her name every five seconds? I’m so sick of hearing about her I don’t know what to do.”

“Look Courtney, Hazelhurst Academy is where Barbara wanted Kenisha to go, and that’s where she’s going back. I’m not enrolling her in public school just to pull her out again. A tutor for the next few months will be fine.”

“Hell, no. How much is that gonna cost?”

“Don’t worry about the money,” he said.

“Well, have her ass pay for it then. I know she got that fat insurance policy. She’s sitting on all that money from her mother, and we got to fork over cash to get her a tutor. No, uh-uh. That’s wrong.”

“Whatever money Barbara left Kenisha and Jade belongs to them. I’m Kenisha’s father. I’m paying for the tutor. Barbara would have wanted it.”

“There you go again. Barbara this, Barbara that.” My dad gave Courtney that look, and she went off on him. “What, you trying to say something, James? Do I embarrass you? Is that why you don’t take me out anymore? Are you sick of hearing me complain? Well, I’m sick of hearing about her.”

“This isn’t about you, Courtney.”

“Yeah, it is. You think I’m not good enough for you. Why? ’Cause my name isn’t Barbara? Well, I am…”

Okay, as usual Courtney turned everything around to be about her. She lit into my dad and forgot all about me. I’m not saying that I was upset, but at the moment I had
other things to deal with, and sitting here listening to her rage on at my dad wasn’t working.

“…I am so sick of you acting like I’m nothing and she’s all that. If Barbara was so damn good then why did you come after me…”

I was watching my dad and seeing him just sitting there. He wasn’t even trying to argue back. By now Courtney was all up in his face screaming. She went on and on about my mom and how my dad used to complain about her. I sat listening, hoping she didn’t know what she was talking about, but I kinda knew she did. I knew my dad had complained about my mom. So what Courtney was saying wasn’t all that surprising. It sounded just like something my dad would say. ’Cause it was what I used to say.

I’m thinking about doing that fast-forward thing again. Pushing a button and getting this drama over with. I seriously wish I could do that right about now.

They went on for a while longer until my dad got tired and ended it. He sent me to my room, but I still heard Courtney muttering as she stomped around the house. My dad went out, and the boys were already doing a sleep-over with friends. Nobody was in the house except me and Courtney. I lay across my bed and closed my eyes ready for whatever came next. Nothing did. I didn’t intend to fall asleep, but I guess I did ’cause I woke up and it was light outside.

Saturday morning. I got up early and started dumping my stuff into my suitcase. I left my school uniforms in the closet but took the rest of my clothes and everything else.
I hated the idea of running away. It felt like I was being my mom all over again. I remember the last time I packed to leave this house. I was so upset, but that was before I knew what was really going on.

This time it’s my choice. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Being here reminds me too much of before when my mom was alive, so I’m going back to my grandmother’s house. I also decided what I’m going to do about school. I’ll ask my grandmother to enroll me in Penn Hall High. It’s right around the corner from her house, so getting there would be no problem. I’ll go first thing Monday morning. But right now I needed to get to D.C.

I called a cab then started carrying my things downstairs. “Where do you think you’re going?” Courtney asked, seeing me bringing my things down.

“Where you going, Kemesh?” Jason asked, standing looking up at me still in his Power Rangers pajamas. “Can I go, too?”

“No dummy, she’s going to school,” Jr. said.

“Nah-uh, cartoons is on. Can I go, too?”

“Not this time, little man,” I said looking out the side window for the cab.

“I asked you a question, Kenisha. Where do you think you’re going?” Courtney said.

I guess I’m so used to ignoring her, to tell you the truth, I forgot she was even standing there. “It’s Saturday, remember? I’m going to D.C. like I always do.”

“You’re taking that much stuff with you?”

I looked down at the two suitcases, backpack and two cardboard boxes on the floor by the front door. It must
have been obvious that I cleaned out my room and was leaving for good.

“You can’t leave, at least not yet. Your dad wants you here when he gets back. He wants to talk to you.”

“He can talk to me in D.C. I already called a cab.”

“Didn’t I just say he wants you here?” Courtney said, as the house phone began ringing.

“I want to go to D.C. with Kenisha,” Jr. said.

“I want to go, too,” Jason added. “Me, too, me, too.”

“Jason, we gotta get dressed and get our stuff so we can go,” Jr. said quickly, right before they turned and ran up the stairs yelling and laughing about going to D.C.

“Kenisha, your dad said for you to be here when he comes home. I’m trying not to hear him talk about how I kicked you out while he wasn’t here.” The phone rang again.

“I’ll tell him the truth that you didn’t. I’m leaving ’cause that’s what I want to do.”

“You need to wait for him.” She walked into the living room to answer the phone. I heard her talking, then she was yelling. Apparently she’d been getting crank calls. “I hate this shit. It ain’t funny.”

I looked at her knowing that she probably was the one who did the same thing to my mom. “No, it’s not funny. Remember that next time.”

“Excuse me, are you trying to say something to me?”

I didn’t answer. It was too early to get into anything with her. Besides, all I wanted to do was get to D.C. A car horn blew outside as a cab drove up in the driveway. I looked out the window. “That’s my cab.” I opened the front door, grabbed both suitcases and went outside. The
cabbie popped the trunk, and I put them inside. I went back twice to get the two big boxes. The last time I grabbed my backpack and kind of turned to take a look around. I don’t know what I was looking at or for. I guess I was just trying to remember. “Tell Dad I’ll be at my grandmother’s.”

“We’re ready,” Jr. hollered as he came flying down the steps. Jason was right behind him. “We’re ready, we’re ready.” They each had gotten dressed over their pajamas and put sneakers on. Jason’s were on the wrong feet, as usual, but he was ready.

They went running past Courtney. But she moved fast and grabbed both by their collars. They squirmed and yelled for her to let go. “We want to go with Kemesh,” Jason cried.

“Get your butts in this house. I just made breakfast, so get in the kitchen and eat.”

“I don’t want to eat. I want to go with Kenisha,” Jr. said.

“Yeah, I want to go with Kemesh too.”

“Go eat, now,” Courtney pulled harder, turning them and maneuvering them back into the house. They stopped squirming and stopped to look back at the cab.

I was already inside, so I waved and blew them a kiss. They waved sadly, turned and went inside. I never would have thought it, but I was actually really close to my dad’s other kids. It started out just to get on Courtney’s nerves by getting them to do things to drive her crazy, but it soon became fun. It was childish, but I had a blast seeing her face. I was even teaching them how to swim.

The cab pulled up at my grandmother’s house about twenty minutes later. I got out and started pulling my stuff out the trunk when I heard somebody behind me.

“Hey, Shorty, you’re early.”

I smiled without looking. I knew that it was Terrence Butler, the lawn mower guy. I still called him that sometimes ’cause that’s all I knew to call him before. The first time I saw him he was mowing my grandmother’s yard, and he looked so good. But aside from his body, which was slamming, LL-Cool-J hard, and his one dimple, which was too cute, I think his soft, light-colored eyes were his most attractive feature. They were warm and mesmerizing.

I turned to him and smiled even brighter. Seeing him felt like home. “Hey lawnmower guy,” I said. Yep, he looked good. He was wearing a white polo with jeans and sneaks. His big biceps and triceps poked through his shirt, and I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He’d gotten his hair cut off, all of it, so the natural, barely blond tips were all gone.

“What happened to your hair?” I asked, surprised.

He reached up and ran his hand over his head from front to back. “I’m pledging this semester.”

“You’re pledging,” I said. He nodded. “I didn’t know you were pledging a fraternity this year.”

He started laughing and ran his hand over his bald head again. “It’s hard. The big brothers are killing me.”

“They made you shave your head?” I asked.

“Let’s say it was highly suggested.”

“Is it really crazy? Do they make you eat disgusting things like on reality shows?”

“Nah, it’s not too bad. You have no time to yourself. Every waking minute belongs to the big brothers, and they can make you do anything they want,” he said as he took the two boxes and a suitcase. “What’s all this, you giving up on Virginia and staying this time?” he asked, jokingly.

“Yeah, as a matter of fact I am,” I said.

“For real?” he asked.

“Yeah, for real,” I said.

“Why, what happened?”

“I got expelled.”

“From school? For what? What happened?”

“Fighting.”

“Are you kidding me,” he half smiled, obviously not wanting it to be the truth. “What were you fighting about?”

“Which time?” I asked. “Come on.” We carried my things inside the house. My grandmother was already up, of course. She was in the kitchen cooking something. It smelled good. “Hello,” I called out as soon as I entered. I waited for the petite, gray-haired woman to appear. She came from around the corner. “Hi, Grandmom,” I said smiling. It was actually good to see her. Other than my sister, Jade, she was my only connection to my mother.

“Well, good morning. You’re here early,” my grandmother said as she wiped her hands on her apron and opened her arms wide to me. I hugged her. She felt like home and she smelled like cookies. She stepped back, looked at me, then squinted, seeing my expression. “Everything all right?”

I looked at Terrence, and he looked at me. “I’m a let you ladies talk a bit. Mrs. King, call me when you want
me to check out those bushes for you. Shorty, call me, okay,” he said. I nodded.

“Thanks, Terrence, I’ll make sure to do that,” she said as Terrence left. “Well, now, let me look at you.”

“Why?” I asked, figuring she might already know what happened.

“Because you’re going to be sweet sixteen tomorrow, and I want to make sure I remember you as my little girl.”

Man, sweet sixteen, I almost forgot all about that, again. Funny, I waited a long time to be sixteen. Now that the day was almost here, it felt nothing like I thought it would be. “Grandmom, something happened at school that we need to talk about. It’s something bad.”