Feeling the Moment (12 page)

Chapter Fourteen

River

The meeting was dragging out further than it needed to be. Checking my watch for the millionth time since I entered my last conference of the day, I noticed it was two hours past when I should have left by. Badly wanting to reach in my pocket and pull out my phone to update Kim – and to just hear her voice – I refrained myself.

As was my usual, I shut my phone off when in meetings. It was the best way to give the meeting my full attention. That was until I met Kim. Nothing had my full attention, but her. Last week I’d given her the offer to work for me. She hasn’t told me yes or no yet. I’d love to be with her as much as I can be.  If she’d agreed to work for me, I could have her here with me right now and wouldn’t be missing her so badly.

This was all so new to me. Missing someone or wanting to spend every waking moment – and sleeping moment too for that matter – with someone was all completely foreign to me. Yet here I am, some kind of loved up pussy, sitting at a meeting that could potentially be another multi-million dollar deal and all I can think about is Kim.

Having enough, I stood from my chair, causing Sid to stand with me. Sid has worked for me from the very beginning. I’ve trusted him with my life on more than one occasion. He’s never let me down or gave me any reason to distrust him.

“Gentlemen, this meeting has become redundant. The bottom line here is do you want Monroe name to back your company and product or do wish to go find some other company that cannot do half of what we can but charge you more? That is a question only answered by you. If all the information that we have given you so far has not helped you come to a decision then obviously we aren’t doing business. I’m a busy man and can’t keep toeing around the same questions because you can’t make up your mind. In fact, your indecision scares me on the prospects of doing business with you,” I stated flatly in my no nonsense business tone.

Within minutes papers are being signed, hands shook, and I’m out the door. Excitement rushed through me. In three hours, I’d be home and have my love in my arms. As I sat in the car, I turned my phone on. I wanted to let Kim know that I was running a little late, but would be home soon. Only as the phone fully started up I saw that I had no service. Growling in frustration, I shut my phone back off and urged time to go faster.

It seemed to be one thing after another today. We get a flat tire not far away from the hotel we had the conference in. Then the water pump went out in the car not long after getting the triple A here to fix the tire. Then we had to wait for a fucking tow truck to tow us to a nearby garage, only to be charged an arm and leg to get fixed. I could have fixed it easily at home, but we weren’t home right now.

“What else could possibly go wrong Sid?” I mumbled as I climbed out of the car.

The wind picked up suddenly and the humidity felt thick. Looking at Sid, he had a small look of concern on his face.

“Never say what else could go wrong. It’s only inviting trouble.”

Looking around as lightning lit the skies and hard rain began to pelt me in the head with such force, I almost thought it was hail. Cursing, we ran up the stairs and into my private jet. When I purchased this jet, it was the first biggest expense purchase, but it has proved to be worth every penny.

After a two hour delay, we were finally taking off. Any other time, this would not have bothered me at all. I’d just used it for more time to relax, but everything changed when I met Kim. Being alone was no longer an option for me. Which is why, I’ve only revealed what I have to her. Letting her into the me from the past would mean that I’d lose my future. It was something I just couldn’t risk.

Sid was the only person that knew the whole truth about my life, what I’ve been through. It was going to stay that way. After all, I wasn’t that man anymore. Not since the ‘hiking’ trip. I never plan to be that man again. The one I am right now that has earned Kim’s love is the only man I want to be.

After all the day’s events, I soon fell asleep for a little nap on the flight home.

# # #

Driving up the long driveway to the house, something didn’t feel right. Leaning forward in my seat, I stuck my head through the window section between the seats.

“Something doesn’t feel right.”

“I was just thinking the same thing Sir. Have you talked to Ms. Rose since we’ve landed?”

“Shit!”

In my exhaustion, I’d forgotten to turn my phone back on. Quickly pulling it out of my pocket and waited the pain staking second for it to turn on and load up. Once fully loaded, I was notified of twenty-six missed calls, one voicemail, and one text message, all from Kim.

I listened to the voicemail on speaker as I pulled up the text.

Voicemail from Kim:
“Damn it! River pick up your fucking phone! I’m in big trouble!”

Her voice sounded panicked and almost a whisper. My head snapped up and met Sid’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Were there any other messages,” Sid asked almost darkly.

“A text. I was just pulling up when her voicemail started playing.”

My hands were shaking as I tried to get back to my messages. I read her text out loud so Sid could hear it.

“Someone is here. They’ve just broken in. I’m scared, River. I love you.”

Sid slammed on the brakes and we both exited the car in a hurry. The door wasn’t shut and when I walked inside, my house was in shambles. My stomach dropped to the floor. Frantically I ran from room to room, screaming Kim’s name. Meeting Sid back in the entryway for him to tell me she wasn’t on that half of the house, my fist hit the wall.

“Fuck!” I roared loudly.

“I hate to say this, Sir, but I think this is Adrian’s work. Out of all the gangs you were involved with he was the one that hit the hardest with you walking away.”

Just as I was about to reply, I hear cursing coming from the door. Both Sid and I took off ready to kill whoever was there. Skidding to a halt when I saw my brothers standing at the door, I kicked something on the floor only to hear the familiar clanking. Bending down, I picked up the necklace I’d given Kim only a week ago. Inside was a picture of us on the beach.

“What the fuck happened here?” Ryan growled.

Not able to take my eyes from the picture in the locket, I mumbled, “My past taking away my future.”

“What are you talking about?” This time Kayden spoke.

“What haven’t you told us?”

This voice shocked me. I looked up from the locket then and saw Lacee and Maree standing behind my brothers.

Great! Now I get to let down my whole family all at once.

“You might want to sit down for this. Sid, can you please look for any definitive signs that this is who we think it is. We need to move and we need to move fast.”

My siblings and I headed into my lounge area. After clearing some seats off, we all sat down. Ryan barked for me to talk because he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Five months ago, I went into the hospital before I decided to go enjoy the outdoors…”

“Five months ago? I thought you…”

“It was five months ago. I had a lot of issues, especially during the detoxing portion of it all. I…”

“Detoxing! You were on drugs” Lacee shrieked.

“Among other things,” I said so nonchalantly that it didn’t even feel like I was about to come clean to my family the kind of brother they really had. “I didn’t handle what Helen and Miles did to me very well. One thing I was good at was hiding it from everyone. I turned to drugs young…”

“How young?” Ryan asked.

“Seventeen. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but this is me. After years of abuse, I thought I’d hit rock bottom. That was until I’d decided to go hiking and escape my life for a minute. A moment where I wasn’t River Monroe the billionaire. Anyway, I climbed up to one of my favorite spots, started to enjoy myself…” I wasn’t going to tell them exactly how I had enjoyed myself because well my sisters definitely didn’t need to hear it. “When I’m suddenly picked up from behind, like I weighed nothing at all.”

“Wh-who was it?” Maree asked.

“It was Adrian’s bodyguard. They call him Tank.”

“Wait a minute!” Ryan flew up from his spot and started pacing. “You cannot mean Adrian Malloney…” he looked at me long and hard. “Can you?”

“The very one. He was my main supplier. Told him before this trip that I was quitting. It was time to get my life together… blah blah blah.  Anyway, Tank helped me fall down the mountain side. But really it was all worth it when I met Kim.”

Just as I about to explain more, my phone started ringing scaring me. I hadn’t realized that I was still clenching my phone in my fist until now. When I looked at the ID, I saw Kim’s picture flash on the screen. My heart began to race. This was the moment of truth.

“Remember what to do,” Sid said, suddenly standing beside me.

I nodded, as my heart already started to break. “Hello?”

“River,” Kim sobbed. “River, I’m so scared…” she broke off in sobs.

“Are you okay?”

“For the most part. River… I’m pregnant.”

All thoughts of playing like I didn’t know who she was or she didn’t matter to me flew out the window as did my breath. My knees buckled beneath me and I fell to the ground clenching my chest with my fist.

“Did you just…” I choked.

“Yes,” she sobbed. “I’m pregnant. I found out yesterday. I don’t know who the main guy was, but the guy that knocked me out, his name is Tank. I’m so scared.”

“Did you hide your phone?”

“No this old guy, whose brought me water and food, brought it to me.”

“Do you know where you are?”

“No, the last thing I remember was unimaginable pain in my head in the house and then I woke up in this dark room. I’m not going to make it am I?”

“To hell if you’re not! I’m going to find you and I’ll save you…” I took a deep breath and whispered. “Both of you. My past has come back to haunt me and I’m so sorry you were involved.”

“What did you do?”

“Drugs, cleaning money… I quit and cleaned up everything. I haven’t done any of that for months before I met you. I swear it Kim. Do you believe me?”

“You were into drugs?” She almost sounded choked and I began to panic.

“I
was
, yes, but I haven’t been in months. I’m clean, Kim. When you and I met, I was clean. I’ve been clean. I have no urge to do any of it again. I swear to it, sweetheart.”

“Shit someone’s coming. Find me River.”

Then she was off the phone. Had Sid not taken the phone from my hand, I would have thrown it across the room. Anything that hadn’t already been broken was soon shattered on the floor. My hands rested on the top of my mantel as I hung my head between them.

Tears, for the second time in my life, fell down my cheeks. She was going to leave me. I knew that my past would always be what killed me. What I didn’t expect was that it’d be this slow torturous death.

“What’d she say?”

“To come find her.”

“They have her?” Jayden asked almost angry.

“Yeah, apparently Adrian came here…”

“Could she tell you where she was?” Sid asked.

Shaking my head sadly in answer, but I still couldn’t look at anyone. The shame, the guilt, I felt right now… Even though I know I’ve lost her I can’t continue to let her stay there. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get her safe. Kim and our child.

Turning around, I wiped the tears from my face. “I need you all to pay attention to what I’m saying. If you are willing to help me rescue Kim, that is. I’m not demanding it of any of you.” Channeling my strength again, I spurred forward. “Kim is probably not going to take me back now and I understand, but she’s in trouble…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to us, River. We’re here to help. We know how much you love her.” Lacee said, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“Kim’s pregnant,” I breathed. Saying it out loud, really cemented in the fact that I was going to be a father. “I’m going to be a father. Wow…” Shaking my head, “I think I know where they might be at…”

“Sir?”

“Yeah?”

“I know exactly where they’re at. I ping’d her phone.”

Chapter Fifteen

Kim

He does drugs?

I wrapped my arms around my stomach. When we were on vacation together, I’d told him that drugs were my deal breaker. After losing my parents to them, I told myself I’d never go through that again. Now, I had the answer to my questions. What does that mean for us? At this moment, I just don’t know.

My bedroom door opened and the elderly man walked in. “How are you doing today ma’am?”

“I’m not. Why are you being so nice to me?”

“We all have our demons to exercise. Sadly, I couldn’t get out from under mine before they cost me my freedom. Just because I work for Satan doesn’t mean I worship him. What troubles you?”

“River lied to me. He knew drugs were my deal breaker. So he kept it from me.”

“Oh dear child, he loved you enough to protect you from his past. It’s not an easy thing to do. But if I can tell you something, he got out of it months ago. Adrian didn’t take it well. Even tried to kill him. When he found out he’d survived, he came looking for him, but…”

“But found me…” I whispered. “He’s going to use me to get to River, isn’t he?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“What did you lose, Jasper? To be working for a man like that, what does he have on you that you can’t get out of?”

He laughed softly. “Besides the fact that he’s my son, he took my wife from me. To save her, I signed myself over to him.” He smiled at me. “It was worth it. My Nelly is happy. She’s met someone new and is enjoying grandchildren.”

“She’s not even with you?” I asked too shocked to hold back such a personal question.

Again he laughed and patted my leg. “She was, but because I’m always with him she was unhappy. I loved her enough to let her be happy. She had other kids and her husband treats her well. Her happiness is mine, even if it isn’t with me. I could have held on to her, been selfish, but that was all it would be selfish. My Nelly deserved a life. She got it.” He stood from the bed and walked over to the tray he’d brought in. “I don’t regret my decision to file for divorce. She wouldn’t walk away on her own. So I made her.”

He handed me a cup. “I-is this safe to drink?”

I asked him the same question every time he handed me something. But I’ve never meant it more than now. He gave up the love of his life for his demonic son. What would stop him from hurting a stranger?

“As has been everything else I’ve given you,” he looked almost hurt.

Thinking quickly, “Oh, I didn’t mean that,” I lied. “I meant for someone who’s pregnant.”

His eyes widened and a look of concern. “You’re pregnant with River’s baby?”

I nodded and for no reason at all tears sprung to my eyes. These fucking hormones will be the death of me, I swear it.

“Does he know?”

“I just told him on the phone,” I sniffled.

Jasper stood from the bed, paced the room, before stopping and looking out the window. “We need to get you out of here.” He looked at me. “I’ll be right back.”

Jasper moved pretty quickly for an old man. His departure left me to my thoughts. Of course they went right to River. What was I going to do? Could I push past the overwhelming fear that he’d turn back into them and our child will be the one to witness his undoing as I had watched mine? Watch our child suffer because no matter what they do, they will never be enough to make him go straight? Or have our child grow older than their years because they have to learn to do what he can’t?

Yes, I’ll be here so the case is a little different than it was with me. But my child would still suffer watching his or her father deteriorate in front of them. What kind of mother would that make me?

Flopping down on my bed, reality hit me. I’m going to be a mother. Me, a mother. Then reality hit me again. I’m trapped with a
very
dangerous man. A chill ran my whole body. It was time to get out of here.

The door opened and as usual, my heart stopped in my chest. Until I could see who it was I never stopped panicking. This time it didn’t dissipate when I see Jasper entering. No, this time Adrian walked into the room with a smile on his face.

“I knew you’d be my ticket for sure,” he leered excitedly.

“Wh-what are you talking about?”

“River is on his way to get you. Though his eagerness to get to you,” he walked toward me, “has me questioning giving you over to him,” he tried for seductive, but came nowhere close for me.

Moving further away from him, I wanted as much distance between me and him as possible. As was my usual when I get nervous or angry, I don’t filter what comes out of my mouth.

“For a man of so many means, you fucking stink.”

In three long strides, he was in front of me and backhanding me. I fell to the floor from the force of it.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that again. I own you right now.”

“You don’t own shit!”

Fuck! Shut up, Kim!

Just as he smacked me again, Jasper opened the door to announce that River was here. A smile spread across Adrian’s face. He reached down and roughly pulled me from the floor. I had to bite my lip to keep from showing he was hurting me.

He forced me out of my room and into my office. “Sit!” He commanded, pointing to my office chair.

My cheek throbbing, I decided not to push my luck. Walking slowly over to the chair, I glanced at Jasper, he slightly nodded and I felt a bit of relief wash over me. My ass no more than hit the chair and Tank was cuffing me to it. I couldn’t keep the fear out of my eyes. Adrian saw it, I know he did because he started laughing.

“That’s how you should look. You should fear me.” Then Adrian and Tank left the room.

My gaze immediately went to Jasper. He checked the door and moved back to me quickly. Pulling something from his pocket, he moved to the cuffs as he spoke.

“Go out the fire escape there and climb down. We’ve got this all set up. You’ll be out of here safely.”

“But this is my home…”

Finally undoing the last cuff, he pushed me toward the window. “Hurry! Jayden, I believe it is, is at the bottom waiting.”

Hugging him tightly, I hurried out of the window and moved as fast as I can down the fire escape. Each step clanking loudly as I moved down them. In my head, I kept repeating over and over,
I’m not going to make it.
There was no way that they couldn’t hear me scurrying down the fire escape.

The minute my feet touched the ground I felt a hand grab hold of my arm. I screamed. Jayden immediately place his hand over my mouth.

“Shh, Kim, it’s just me.  We need to get you out of here.”

He started pulling me down the alley. “Where? Where are we going to go? That’s my house up there.”

“River’s house?”

I unintentionally shudder at the thought of going back there. The thought of going back there and reliving the most terrifying moment in my life was not my idea of going to a safe haven. Then the image of my safe haven flashed before my eyes.

“Can we go to the cottage?” I said as I climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

Jayden hurried around to the driver’s seat and looked at me. “The cottage?”

“Yes, I know you don’t want me there, but I thought…”

“No… God, Kim I’m sorry. The cottage is perfect.”

He quickly put the car in drive and flew down the streets. If he talked to me at all, I wasn’t listening. My thoughts were consuming me. Yesterday was the scariest moment in my life. It was so funny to say that, especially considering I used to fuck men like Adrian without blinking an eye or feeling a moment of terror just so I could have a shower or some food.

Maybe that was the difference. Maybe it was the fact that I walked up to those men of my volition rather than with Adrian I was forced in his presence. He split his own parents apart and had no qualms doing so. Not a man that would have slept with a girl so she could have food or a shower.

“Howdy boys, you looking for some company?”

I mustered up all the southern charm I could think of in hopes that this would help get me something. It’s been days since I’ve had anything substantial to eat. My stomach growled at the thought of eating something.

“What are you offering?” One guy asked as he ran his hand up the back of my leg.

“Whatever you want, but I have a stipulation,” I answered confidently.

“What’s that?” The other guy sat forward running his hand up my other leg.

“You buy me food and give me a place to sleep tonight.”

The men look at each other then look back up at me. “If we do this for you, then we get to have you the whole time, whenever we want.”

“You have a deal, gentlemen.”

They stood from their table and ushered me out of the bar. Both of them were good looking men. They were muscular, brown hair, one had green eyes the other had brown. It should be an interesting night. I’ve never been with two guys at once. Back to back, yes, but never together. I had a feeling this was going to be together.

We walked across the street and while one of the guys went in to get a room, the other pinned me against the building with his body. His erection dug into me as he kissed his way up my neck to my ear.

“We are going to fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before,” he whispered in my ear.

All I could do was moan in answer as his mouth claimed mine. He lifted one leg up around his waist, his hand inching down under my shorts. Moving my hand around between us, I began to rub his erection through his jeans. He moaned into my mouth as he pushed against me. It seemed like he’d forgotten we were outside and that excited me. Maybe I really was a whore?

He pulled down the top of my shirt and set my breast free from my bra. First his tongue covered my nipple as it flicked and licked before covering my nipple with his mouth, sucking me firmly into his mouth.

Gasping, I held his head to my breast with one hand while the other found the zipper of his jeans. Lowering it down, I pushed my hand inside and pulled him free of his jeans. Stroking him firmly, he moaned loudly into my mouth. Moving my thumb around the tip, I spread the pre-cum around.

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

Just then the other guy came out with the hotel key in hand. “Dude! You can’t start without me.”

I put my breasts back in my shirt and he put his erection in his pants. All bets were off once that hotel room door shut behind us. Clothes flew in every direction.

“Kim?”

“Yeah?” I asked, realizing I’d lost myself in the past again.

“I asked if you wanted me to go over to the cottage with you.”

“No, I think I can get back on my own. Thank you.”

“Okay then, here are the keys. I’m going to go back to town and make sure that River’s okay. Be careful. There will be storms rolling in tonight and tomorrow, so the water may be rough.”

“Thank you.”

Climbing onto the boat, I started it up and waited for him to untie it before taking off in the direction of what I hoped was the island.

“Just go straight,” Jayden shouted from the shore.

Nodding, I headed straight. My mind kept going back to that night with Dwayne and Luke. It was a great experience – one I’ll never forget I’m sure – but it was more than that too. They didn’t just use me. They were the ones that helped me get my own place. It was them that helped me adjust to being around people for any length of time. When that night ended, neither of them wanted to say goodbye.

Before you think that they fell in love with me and I broke their hearts. No, they wanted the sex. They wanted the excuse to have sex with each other. Yes, we all enjoyed each other, but they eventually confessed to having feelings for the other. So, I made it my mission to bring them together. When I succeeded, I left. They gave me money and that is what I used to buy my apartment after working for a little bit at the hospital.

I haven’t heard from either of them since, but that’s okay. Though the sex was great with them, I’d take sex with River over them any day of the week. River knew exactly how to make me feel good, feel things I’ve never felt before. Now here I was pulling up to the dock for the private island, alone.