Feeling This (15 page)

“Kimber! Kimber!”

I look up and spot Heidi down at the end of
the bar. A sight I really need right now. Before I can get down there though,
Duck’s voice rings through the room. I glance over at the stage. He meets my
stare and announces, “Let’s give a warm welcome to our new Friday night act, our
very own, Kimber Maguire.”

The crowd claps and whistles. I don’t give
my body time to react. I hurry to the swinging doors and grab my guitar case.
Once I step up onto the stage the flutter starts but I push it away. I try to push
Jenna, Momma and Andrew out of my mind. I’m going to sing and that’s all that
matters at this moment.

Jordan

When six o’clock hit, I was convinced I
would pass out. I was so tired and determined to go straight to bed as soon as
I got back to the motel. But after stopping for a burger at a local restaurant
called Mary’s Diner, I found that I had a little more energy. I made it back to
the motel savoring the warm water in the shower longer than it lasted. Once I
was clean and dressed, I felt like I needed a drink. Sitting in a motel room
alone is not something that will keep my demons away.

I climbed back into the car and drove the
short distance down the road to The Ugly Duckling. The parking lot is practically
full when I pull in, a huge difference from yesterday when I was here. I find a
spot at the bar. A different man from yesterday asks what I’d like to drink. I
order a whiskey and lean forward, hoping no one tries to start a conversation
with me. He places the drink in front of me but before he turns I tell him,
“You can go ahead and bring another one when you get a chance.”

He nods.

When my glass is empty, another appears
next to it. A hand covers mine and a high pitched voice claims, “Hey there,
slow down cowboy.”

I look up and see a platinum blonde with
hazel eyes and way too much makeup staring over at me. She bats her eyelashes
telling me sweetly, “I haven’t seen the likes of you around here. You must be
new to our humble little town.”

I move my hand away answering, “Yes, new to
town.”

She scoots her jean clad ass closer to me
and whispers, “Well, do you need any help finding your way around, stranger?”

I look up and meet the eyes of the
bartender. He’s watching this chick with a huge grin. I look over at her and
she licks her lips. Is she for real? I tell her uncomfortably, “Um, no, I can
find my way.”

“Well if you get lost, my name is Heidi and
I can probably help you find your way back.”

The bartender leans in to her and says
chuckling, “Hey Heidi, she’s about to start.”

The Heidi chick claps her hands and turns
the other way. She calls over her shoulder, “Sorry stranger but my best friend
is about to make her big debut. You don’t want to miss this.”

A guitar starts as soon as her last word
ends. I turn to look at the stage across the room. The same girl from the Bruin
ranch is perched on a bar stool up on the stage. She scans the crowd and closes
her eyes while she strums the chords. She leans forward to the microphone and
opens her eyes as she sings the first words of a song. I’m entranced
immediately. Her voice is so pure and strong. I watch her through the whole
first song and chug my drink as she finishes. When I set it down the chick next
to me is staring at me curiously. She smiles a genuine seeming smile and looks
back to the stage as the girl starts again.

The bartender replaces my drink but it sits
while I stare at the stage and the fluid movements of her hands on the guitar
and the way her golden hair frames her sweet pure features. By the fifth song I
feel someone’s eyes on me. I avert my gaze from the girl on the stage and meet
those of the blonde beside me. She’s grinning as if she just won a prize. I
smirk back and look back up to the brightest light in the room.

This chick’s voice interrupts my
concentration, “You like her, don’t you?”

I frown and look at her not understanding
her meaning. She repeats it, “You like her, you can’t take your eyes away from
her.”

“No, I… she’s really good.”

“Yep, I told ya to watch. You just took it
literally.”

I grab my glass and take a large swig just
as the song ends. The crowd cheers and the girl next to me starts whistling across
the bar. I look up as the girl on stage sets the guitar against the stool and
speaks into the microphone, telling the crowd she’s taking a small break.

She makes her way through the throngs of
people, slowly getting pats on the back, hugs, and many people congratulating
her. Finally, she makes it to a clearing around her friend beside me. Her eyes
meet mine and stare for a solid minute. It feels, in that moment, as if we are
the only two people in the entire space, and time has stood still. She averts
her gaze a moment later and walks up to her friend.

Her friend whistles again calling out while
putting an arm around her shoulders, “Derek, Kimber needs a drink.”

The name resonates in my mind. Kimber, there
isn’t a more perfect name for her. She looks back over at me shyly as she lifts
her drink off the bar. Her friend turns to me and nudges Kimber.

“Hey, this is ‘out of town guy’. I tried to
work my magic but he’s not interested. I think he might have other interests.”

I put my hand out and tell her, “My name is
Jordan Rhodes and you are Kimber?”

She nods slowly, putting her hand in mine.
The minute we touch, my breath catches. Her skin is so soft. I can’t pull my
eyes from her dark ones. She tells me, “Yes, Kimber Maguire, it’s nice to meet
you Jordan.”

I pull my hand away reluctantly but our
gazes linger. Her friend’s voice fills my ears, “Hey you two, um, Kimber
remember ‘Mr. Hottie’?”

This breaks her stare. She turns glaring at
her friend hissing, “Heidi, really, you are just incredible.”

Heidi laughs, “I know it. I had to get your
attention somehow. You know I hate this shit hole.”

Kimber looks over at me as if to apologize.
She loops her hand through Heidi’s arm and asks, “Okay, you have my undivided
attention, what is it?”

Her voice lowers but I can still hear parts
of what she is saying, “Well I was…to remind….a certain…Andrew.”

Kimber’s face scrunches up as she says,
“Screw him. He made his choice.”

Before she can say anything else, a large
man at the microphone calls her back up to the stage. She calls out to the
bartender, “Derek, can I get a shot?”

She looks over to me and back again,
correcting herself, “Make that two, Derek.”

He pours Tequila into two shot glasses. She
picks them up and walks closer to me, leaving only a foot between us. She holds
a hand out to me. I grasp the glass slightly grazing her hand with my fingers.

She holds it up and toasts, “To new
friendships.”

I hold mine up and we both tip them back.
The big man calls her up again, this time sounding impatient. She places her
glass back on the bar and turns her eyes to mine.

“I have to go.”

I nod, unsure what this sudden feeling in
me is. I look away thinking about Susan for a moment. When I glance up again
she is gone. Glimpses of her figure maneuvering through the crowd flash before
me. Heidi speaks up, “So, Jordan is it?”

I nod but stare after Kimber.

“Well then Jordan, my friend there, she’s
fragile, okay? You hurt her, I hurt you. Got it?”

Fragile? That would not be the way I would
describe her. She’s strong and fierce. I can see it in her eyes. She’s sure of
herself.  I turn to Heidi’s waiting eyes and tell her, “I understand.”

But in truth I have no intention on
pursuing this. Susan was my one chance at love. She was everything to me and my
life. This girl Kimber, if she
is
fragile, doesn’t need someone like me.
I’m too far gone.

The bartender keeps my glass full. I
alternate between watching the beautiful angel on the stage and focusing on my
drink. The longer I sit here and stare, more guilt settles over me. I shouldn’t
be looking at anyone. Susan just passed a month ago. I’m betraying her just by
staring at Kimber.

Before I know it the lights in the bar are
coming on and it’s emptied out. Heidi left the stool beside me a long time ago.
She comes back up beside me and asks, “Hey Jordan, you okay there?”

I attempt to stand up but stumble. She
catches my arm and steadies me.

“Oh man, did you drive?”

 I nod, not sure what she’s implying.
Hovering behind her is a big bearded guy covered in tattoos. He leans in to her
and asks, “Are we goin’ or what?”

She calls over her shoulder angrily, “Hold your
horses. I have to help my friend here.”

Her friend? I don’t have many of those
these days. She lets my arm go and my balance sways again. She grabs at my
shoulder and calls out across the bar, “Hey Kimber, get your ass over here.”

Kimber strolls up with her guitar case a
minute later. Heidi explains, “Kimber, you gotta get him home. I can’t.” She
looks over at the big dude and he winks.

Kimber rolls her eyes and comes over,
placing my arm around her shoulders. She tells Heidi, “I’ll have Derek help me
with him.”

A thought rolls through my mind, why are
these people helping me? They don’t know me.

Kimber

What the hell did Heidi get me into? This
guy is dangerous. I can tell. Not scary dangerous, lose myself dangerous. He is
sexy as hell, completely different than Andrew. Where Andrew is narrow, Jordan
is broad. Where Andrew is pale, Jordan is tanned. I can’t take my eyes off of
him. I knew he was nice looking today at the Bruins but here, he’s cleaned up
and smells delicious. He’s had a little too much to drink and now I’m leaning
into him trying to hold him steady.  It’s proving to be a little difficult
because he’s a big guy compared to me. Derek calls out after Heidi and her
friend leave, “Kimber, you need some help there?”

“Yeah Derek, can you help me get him out to
my car?”

I whisper quickly to Jordan as Derek makes
his way around the bar, “You aren’t a serial killer or anything, are you?”

He smirks and shakes his head. He attempts
to stand up again and almost manages. This time Derek catches his sway in the
wrong direction. He places Jordan’s arm around his neck and claims, “Dude, you
can’t get wasted like this, especially if you’re trying to impress a girl.”

I feel my cheeks darken and turn to the
door so they can’t see it. Derek leads him out to my car. He gets him in and I
make my way around to the driver’s side door. He stops me with his hand on my
arm, “Kimber, are you sure you want to take him home? I can take him after I
clean up.”

“I got it Derek. It’s no big deal.”

“Okay, you be careful. This is another one
of those, don’t tell Jenna, things.”

At the mention of my sister’s name it all
comes back to me, Momma, Jenna and Andrew. My middle turns over in frustration.
I pull the door open and climb in. As I put the key in, I look over at Jordan.
His head is resting against the back of the seat. His lean, muscular arms rest
on his legs, they look so cramped in my small car. I laugh while turning the
key and the engine clicks. I slam my hands on the steering wheel cursing,
“Dammit!”