Feeling This (16 page)

I try again and it still won’t start.
Jordan mumbles with his head still leaning back and his eyes closed, “Sounds
like the battery is dead.”

He lifts his head and pulls his keys out of
his front pocket. He reaches for the door handle. I grab the hand that is
closest to me and tell him, “Wait until I can help you.”

I scurry out of the car and around the back
of it but he’s already walking slowly across the parking lot. I grab my guitar
and bag locking the doors and rush to catch up to him. He stops in front of a
sleek, black Infiniti. He dangles the keys in front of me. I grab them,
following him to make sure he can get into the passenger side alright. Once
he’s in, I walk to the other side. The windows are tinted almost black. I
wouldn’t be surprised if this car was purchased this year. The inside is pure bliss,
leather seats that fit to the contours of my body and an unmistakable new car
smell. When I turn the car on it purrs to life and the dash lights up tinting
everything in a blue hue.

I ask him, “Jordan, are you still with me?”

“Yep, just resting my eyes, the Derby Motel
is where I’m staying.”

I put the car in drive and press the gas.
It lurches forward quickly. I take my foot off the gas from the sudden
movement. Jordan chuckles, “It has some kick. Don’t worry.”

I try again slowly lowering my foot, this
time it transitions smoothly. I get us onto Main Street and drive the mile to
the motel. My middle flutters at the fact that this beautiful man sits so
calmly beside me.

When I pull in, he lifts his head from the
head rest and looks over with tired eyes. I smile uneasily, not sure what to do
now. I’m kind of stranded. My car is broke back at the Duck and I have no way
of getting home. I proclaim, “Um, we’re here.”

He looks away, suddenly sad. I want to
reach out and ask what is wrong but I resist. Instead I stare at his perfect
features hidden in the shadows of the car. He reaches for the door handle and
tells me over his shoulder as he gets out, “You can take my car if you want.”

I quickly turn the key and get out walking
around the car. I hold his keys out to him. He looks at them unaffected and up
into my eyes. He turns without taking them and stalks off in the direction of
his room. I stand there not sure what to do. Should I just take the car or call
Derek for a ride. I look down at my watch, 2:30; he’s probably just getting out
of the Duck. Before I make my decision, Jordan turns around calling out to me,
“It’s okay, you can take it.” He hesitates then continues, “Or you can stay
here. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed.”

I’m so undecided. I don’t know him but I
also don’t trust myself. It’s been a long time and he’s just so tempting. I
look back at the car thinking that is my best choice but I turn to look at him
again, he has already entered his room. The door is standing open as if calling
to me. I take a step in the direction of the room and my feet start to move
faster. The room is darkened when I peek around the door frame. My eyes adjust
and I’m able to make out Jordan’s long body sprawled out on the couch already.
His feet are bare and his shirt is gone. I can see the outlines of his muscular
back. Looking away I glance around the room. It’s hard to make anything out in
the shadows. I close the door quietly, locking it and stumble across the room
to the bed. Jordan hasn’t moved. His breathing seems to have evened out. He’s
definitely out. Unbuttoning and lowering my jeans, I hope he doesn’t take this
moment to turn his head.

I slip into the bed and roll to my side.
His smell from the pillow fills my nose. This man is something I’ve never
encountered. Am I attracted to him because Andrew rejected me or is there
something else? I’m not sure. I do know that he is enticing and I watched him
tonight during the second half of my set. He didn’t take his eyes off of me.
There’s some kind of connection between us. I just have to decide if I’m going
to run away from it or embrace it.

***

A door closing wakes me up. I slowly open
my eyes and realize where I am. The first thought I have is, Momma. I sit up
quickly and look around. My eyes meet Jordan’s piercing stare. A lazy smile
splayed over his lips and a blush colors my cheeks.

He stutters, “I uh, I went and got
breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you like. I found bagels and coffee down the road.”

My stomach grumbles when he mentions the
food. I start to lift the blanket to get out of the bed but remember I took my
jeans off last night. I lower the blanket looking over to my jeans in a pile on
the floor. He gets up and utters, “Sorry, I’ll just give you some privacy.”

He walks out of the room, quietly closing
the door behind him. I scurry out of the bed, gathering my jeans and rush to
the bathroom. Once in there I look at my reflection. My hair is in complete
disarray sticking out everywhere. My cheeks are red with heat and my eyes are
tired looking.
Damn, Kimber, you have definitely seen better days!

I splash cold water on my face and wash it,
scrubbing away the grit from being at the bar last night. I really long for a
shower but this will have to do. Somehow I have to find a way home to take care
of Momma and some way to get my car fixed. My body turns tense at the thought
of the car and Momma. How in the hell will I be able to afford fixing the car?

I slide my jeans up and fasten the button.
I smell like bar, yuck. I open the door and take a deep breath. Somehow I have
to get home and I’m not sure asking Jordan to take me is the right thing.

When I step into the room, I pause as he
comes into view. He’s leaning back in a chair staring out the window where the
curtains part. He looks so relaxed. I didn’t notice before that his hair is wet
and tousled, making him look even sexier. He must have taken a shower while I
was still asleep. He’s clothed in Jeans and a black t shirt that hugs him just
right. He turns his head and meets my gaze. My eyes waver, looking to the floor
embarrassed that he caught me gawking. I force my feet forward to the chair
across from him.

I ask gesturing to the chair, “May I?”

He smiles nodding, “Please.”

I notice as I situate myself that he’s laid
out a bagel and coffee for me with condiments all over the place, butter, cream
cheese, jelly, creamer and sugar.

“I wasn’t sure what you like so I brought
everything I could think of.”

That damn blush spreads again. What is it
about this guy?

“Thank you.” I fix my coffee with just a
packet of sugar and break my bagel apart, starting to eat it. He follows suit
as soon as I start. I’m a little shocked that he waited for me. I watch as he
puts the same in his coffee as me and he spreads cream cheese across his bagel.
I bring my legs up and rest my feet on the edge of the chair grasping them in
my arms as I slowly eat my bagel. I savor every bite, who knows when I’ll eat
again, especially with the new expense of my car.

He asks softly, “You work at The Ugly
Duckling?”

I nod while still chewing the bagel.

He continues, “Are the Bruins family?”

I smile around a bite and shake my head no.
Once I’ve finished chewing I explain, “No, I work there too. I help Mrs. Bruin
out with things around the house, the twins and stuff.”

He looks thoughtful but doesn’t respond.
The silence spreads for a few minutes. I enjoy his company without complicated
conversation. Once my bagel is gone, I wipe my hands on my jeans and shift in
the chair. He’s been looking out the window for a few minutes, as if he’s deep
in thought. He glances over at me and quietly says, “Thank you for last night.”

He continues before I can answer, “If I
remember correctly your car isn’t currently in working condition so we need to
go and take care of that.”

Alarms ring through my brain. He doesn’t
need to be involved in the fixing of my car so I tell him, “If you could just
give me a ride to the Duck, I’ll be good.”

He frowns and turns to look back out the
window. When he meets my eyes again his expression is determined, “Kimber, it’s
the least I can do after last night. I was pretty drunk and you don’t even know
me, yet you still drove me here and cared enough to make sure I was okay.”

I shrug my shoulders and joke, “Well, I was
kind of at your mercy, with the car situation and stuff.”

His mouth tilts in a half smile. It totally
catches me off guard at how incredible he looks. I lower my feet to the floor
and stand, averting my eyes to look for my shoes. How can I be so attracted to
someone I don’t even know? He stands gathering our trash from the table.

Once my shoes are on, he opens the door
gesturing me out first. I walk briskly to his car standing at the passenger
door waiting for him to unlock the door. Instead of clicking the keypad he
comes around the car and unlocks it when he reaches to open the door for me.
I’m completely shocked at his manners. No one around here would be patient and
courteous like this, whoever said chivalry was lost was sadly mistaken.

Once we are strapped in I decide to satisfy
my curiosity and ask, “Where are you from?”

He maneuvers out onto Main Street in the
direction of the Duck and answers, “Dallas.”

He’s definitely not a man of many words so
I probe further, “Why are you here in Mount Vernon? I know it’s not our fine
drinking establishment choices.”

He chuckles while watching the traffic in
front of us, “No, I just needed to get away.”

Before I can ask any more questions he’s
parked right next to my car and getting out. He comes around, grabbing the
handle to open the door for me to climb out.

He nods toward my car, “Kimber ,why don’t
you get in and try to start it again.”

The look on his face is serious and
contemplative. I get into my sham of a vehicle, after being in his Infiniti,
I’m just plain embarrassed. Instead of caressing the dash this time I lean
forward and utter through clenched teeth, “You better start damn car.”

When I turn the key, a click echoes through
the engine, the same sound as the previous night.
Stupid piece of metal.
He comes to the driver’s side door so I roll the window down as I wince at the
squeaking each turn of the knob causes.

“Can you pop the hood so I can see what the
battery looks like?”

I pull the lever and sit silently, trying
to plan how I’m going to be able to afford this. I just paid all the bills for
this week which left us with very little. I reach into my back pocket and pull
out the crumpled bills from my tips last night. My count reveals seventy
dollars. It should be enough if I do need to buy a new battery but I think
Momma is about to run out of one of her meds. The insurance she has only goes
so far. I rest my head in my hand and put my elbow on the edge of the window,
closing my eyes for a minute.

Maybe I can ask Heidi. I have never asked
Heidi for help. Her parents live on the other side of town on a two acre
estate. The beauty of living in a small town, everyone regardless of which part
you live in, goes to the same high school. We hit it off right away regardless
of our different lives. It didn’t matter back then. Now though, I wish
sometimes I had her options but then I would probably be floundering in a
different way, just as she is.

“Um, Kimber?”

My eyes pop open. I forgot Jordan was there
for a minute. He stands before my door, staring intently at me with amazing
blue eyes. I lower my gaze to his hand which is holding the most disgusting
looking thing I have ever seen. I open the door getting out and ask, “Is that
my battery?”

“Yep, I’m guessing it’s pretty old.”

I shrug my shoulders and tell him, “Not
sure. Mr. Bruin found the car for me when the last one died about three years
ago. He was able to get a good deal for me.”

He smiles and says, “Well three years is
good, it’s probably older than that though. Let’s go get a new one.”

He turns and walks toward his car. I roll
the window back up and rush over to him. He is holding the passenger door open
for me when I get there. I mumble as I get in, “You know you don’t have to do
that.”

He closes the door and walks around the
car. He turns to look at me once he’s in, “Do what?”

“Open and close the door for me, I’m pretty
capable.”

A slow smile spreads and he agrees, “Yes, I
know you are. It’s how I was raised; always open the door for a lady.”

I chuckle at his remark, no one has ever
called me a lady. When I look back up he is serious and there’s something else
in his look, pain or sorrow, I’m not sure.  He puts the car into drive and I
take the opportunity to ask about his being raised as he put it.

“So you’re from Dallas and you needed to
get away. Why here?”

I watch as a frown forms at his brow. He
looks over momentarily asking, “Why not?”

“Well for one it’s a shit hole. Everyone
here is trying to leave.”

He laughs and it’s an amazing sound. This
is the first time I’ve heard it and I want more suddenly. How can a mere sound
from someone affect me like this?

“I have heard the town described as a shit
hole three times by three different people in the past two days. Why do you
want to leave?”