Feeling This (20 page)

I stop and turn to face her with a big
smile, “I forgive you.”

She smacks her gum and admits, “You know he
really does like you. Jordan I mean. I could see it. Especially when you walked
out with Andrew, I thought he was going to go after you.”

I tilt my head and glare. She corrects,
“Okay, I wouldn’t take it as far as him running after you but I know I saw
something there.”

I tell her, “I told Andrew that it isn’t
going to work.”

“I know.”

“What? How do you know?”

“After you left lover boy wasn’t much
company. I tried to talk to him but it was kinda one sided. I left and went
down the road. By the time I got there Andrew was sittin’ at the bar drowning
his sorrows.”

I feel bad instantly at her words knowing I
caused Andrew any pain.

She puts her hand on my arm and admonishes;
“Now I know that look. Don’t you dare feel bad. A few minutes after I got
there, Dana was makin’ him feel a whole lot better. You’re better off even if
this thing with Jordan doesn’t work out.”

I glower at her, “Where exactly is down the
road? Did you go to the Duck?”

She squirms and starts walking toward the
doors to the parking lot. I call out to her, “Heidi DeLarue you went to the
Duck and I wasn’t there? What the hell? I thought you hated that place.”

She spins around and nonchalantly tells me,
“Okay, the place is growing on me. So sue me.”

I grin and walk right past her. She rushes
to catch up suggesting, “You should let Jordan know how you feel today.” I
don’t acknowledge her. Little does she know, that is exactly what I plan on
doing. What do I have to lose at this point?

When I get to the ranch, my nervous energy
doesn’t go unnoticed. Mrs. Bruin asks after I can’t stay in one spot, “Kimber,
is everything alright? Is your mom doing okay?”

The first thing that pops into my head is
the Jenna thing but that is definitely not something I can share with Mrs.
Bruin. She already knows Momma isn’t going to win any mother of the year
awards. I can’t let her know about the drinking, that will only make what she
thinks of her, worse.

Instead I request, “I was wondering if I
can take the lunches out today?”

She smiles, “Sure, that’s not a problem.
Maybe we should get started on something special for them. What do you think we
should make today?”

“How about oatmeal raisin cookies? Yours
are my favorite.”

We set to making the cookies and the lunches.
Before I know it I am pulling the wagon across the property to the barn. When I
get out there, I notice all of the men except Jordan and Joe. So I concentrate
on handing out the rest of the lunches. When I turn around after finishing up
they are riding up on horses.

Joe gets off of his horse first and hands
the reigns to Jordan. Then he exclaims, “Hey girl, if your sister won’t give me
the time of day, maybe I’m looking in the wrong place.”

Then he lifts me like I’m a feather over
his shoulder. I yell at him to put me down. I don’t know what has come over him
and this is so not the way I wanted this to go.

He laughs the whole way to a bale of hay
where he sets me down and turns away to get the horses from Jordan. I yell to
Joe, “You’ll have no chance with Jenna if you do that again!”

When he walks away I stand up and
concentrate on picking all of the hay off of my jeans. But really I’m bracing
my nerves for what I’m about to do. Finally, I take a deep breath and grab a
lunch. When I turn to hand it to Jordan he has taken a step closer. My heart
speeds up at his nearness. When he takes the lunch from me I tell him, “Jordan,
I’m sorry about yesterday.”

His brows knit and he stares over my shoulder
not meeting my eyes and asks, “What are you sorry about?”

I stand there unable to speak for a minute.
I wasn’t expecting this reaction. My voice comes out strained, “Nothing, I
guess. I’m sorry for Heidi.”

I wait as the silence spreads and I know my
cheeks are darkening giving me away.

He glances at me as if I’m a nuisance and
walks toward the men on the other side of the barn.

 I am completely irritated spinning toward
the house. The least he could have done was acknowledge that I was trying to
have a conversation with him. This is a completely different person from the
one at the bar and motel the other day. I stride back to the house as my fury
at Jordan Rhodes grows.

Jordan

When it’s time to go today, I’m more than
ready. Before I leave I seek out Mike and ask, “Hey, I was wondering if there
is a good place to get a drink around here?”

“Sure, the Duck is the big place around
here.” Exactly as I thought, unfortunately, after my display with Kimber today,
the Duck is the last place I want to go.

I mumble, “Are there any others you would
recommend?”

“Well, there’s Mary’s, but she only serves
beer. If you want somthin’ stronger you gotta go to the Duck. That or get a
bottle and take it back home with you.”

“Thanks, see you tomorrow.”  I walk toward
my car.

“Sounds good, and Jordan,” I turn back
around, “You’re doin’ a great job, ‘specially for a city boy.”

I smirk and salute him heading to my car. I
go straight to the motel and contemplate Mike’s suggestion of the bottle idea
but decide to chance the Duck. Maybe Kimber has Monday nights off, I reason.

When I enter, my eyes betray me and go
straight to the bar. The same tall skinny guy from the other night is behind the
counter alone. I take a deep breath and find a stool at the corner. The
bartender comes up and asks, “What can I get ya?”

“How about a beer for now, anything on tap
is fine.”

He nods eyeing me for a minute but then
turns to pour the mug of beer. I glance around to find it pretty busy for a
Monday night. Half of the tables are full and the bar is just about full. A
woman with short black hair and tattoos all over her arms sits to my right. The
bartender swings over to her after he places my beer down. She climbs halfway
over the edge and plants a kiss on him. I look away embarrassed for the guy but
a familiar ache forms in the pit of my stomach remembering how things were with
Susan.

The bartender backs up and glances over,
looking past me. He spins back to the girl in front of him and whispers,
“Jenna, she’s here, you might want to make yourself scarce.”

She waves him away as she takes another sip
of her beer while holding up her hand and crossing her fingers, “Derek, she’s
my sister, thick as thieves.”

He shakes his head and walks to the other end
of the narrow space. I look away, content to wallow in self-pity for the
moment. Mr. Weller’s voice keeps playing through my head, “I just wanted to
have that talk with you, son. It can wait though.” 

What does he want to talk to me about? The
day he wanted to talk I couldn’t bear it. She was suddenly gone and I thought
he wanted to talk about how we both failed her, which I already know. Maybe he
just wanted to acknowledge to me that she did have a problem but if that is the
case it’s too late now and not a conversation I want to have.

An angry voice brings me out of my
thoughts, “Jenna, Why would you show your face here? You know I’m pissed at
you.”

I look up to the sound, as much as I don’t
want to admit it, she sounds like an angel every time I hear her. She’s fuming and
glaring at the woman beside me, who doesn’t seem too concerned. I look back to
Kimber, her cutoffs end at the top of her thighs and her black tank top is
tight, fitting her small curves perfectly.

She glances over at me and scowls
exclaiming, “And you, why are you here especially after the last time you were
here?”

I’m shocked at what just came out of her
mouth but I’m also amused at her little temper. She’s momentarily taken me out
of my pity party and I’m thankful.

The girl beside me leans over and grasps my
hand, smiling, “Well nice to meet you. Welcome to the world of Kimber hate.
Glad to have you join me.” Her speech is slightly slurred.

Kimber huffs and turns to talk to a girl at
the service bar. The other bartender strolls down glancing back at Kimber and
leans in between the girl and myself. He looks at me and chuckles, “Hey, I’m
Derek. I thought I recognized you. You’re the dude that was here the other
night that Kimber helped home, right? What’d you do? She doesn’t rage like that
at just anyone.”

Before I can answer the girl beside me
squirms in her seat making her jean skirt rise higher on her thighs and she
comes closer declaring, “Wait, my sister went home with you?”

I back away as much as the stool will
allow.
Sister
. I glance back down the bar at Kimber. I meet her stare
and I can see something other than the anger, sorrow. I turn back to her sister,
putting my hands up in surrender.

“Yes, Kimber helped me back to my motel but
nothing happened. I swear.”

The girl glowers at me and calls out to
Kimber, “Hey, you’re all pissed at me but you’re goin’ home with strange men.
What the hell Kimber?”

Kimber rushes down the bar and shushes her
sister angrily, “Dammit Jenna. I work here remember. If you get me fired
because of your big mouth I won’t be able to support Momma and me. God knows
you’re not helping any.”

Jenna shakes her head mumbling, “You aren’t
gonna let this go are you?”

She hisses back, “No, so just stay away.”

Before anymore is said, Derek comes up
behind Kimber, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing. Her eyes avert
to me almost with a questioning look.

I stare at her unable to move my gaze. What
is this girl doing to me? She moves away when a waitress down at the service
bar calls to her. Derek comes over to Jenna and asks, “Do you want me to take
you home now?”

She nods and then looks over to me as Derek
walks away. She holds out her hand waiting. I glance at it for a few seconds
before grasping it. She whispers, “Hello, I’m Jenna, Kimber’s sister.”

“Hello Jenna, I’m Jordan Rhodes.”

“Well nice to meet you Jordan. Don’t you
dare hurt my sister. She’s already had too much heartache in her life.”

I’m surprised at her candidness but I
shouldn’t be at this point. It seems to be a common trait among the people
here.

“I won’t.” Is all I can utter. When my
glance meets Kimber’s again, a sweet smile spreads across her face and I wonder
what is going through that feisty little head of her’s. As much as I want to
stay away from her, I’m finding it harder and harder to do.

Kimber

I’m surprised to find Jordan at the bar
when I get there tonight. Even more surprised as I make my way behind the
counter to find my sister sitting right next to him. As soon as I see them all
the anger from the past two days surfaces and I let loose. Jenna has been
obviously drinking for a while so I don’t bother with her after she loudly
embarrasses me. A look passes over Jordan’s features when he hears that Jenna
is my sister. It’s amusing, a nice change from his indifference earlier today.
He looks across the bar and meets my stare. I can’t help but smile at him. He
is just so delicious I want to…
I look away not finishing that thought. What
the hell is wrong with me?