Fighting Fate (12 page)

heart was breaking at the lack of the bond.

It hadn’t happened, no matter how hard her wolf had begged and the woman inside had pleaded

however silently. Logan had rejected her in the cruelest fashion.

They had given in to one temptation only to deny both of them the ultimate of pleasures and

connections.

She never thought that after a night where she’d never felt closer to a person in her life that she

could feel so…unwanted.

Though she’d felt so full the night before, Logan inside her, over her,
part
of her, she hadn’t

known she could feel so empty.

She wasn’t supposed to miss something she’d never had to begin with, but, dear goddess, she

craved it.

He’d broken her when she thought she’d already been fractured beyond repair.

Yet here she was, lying in his arms, his scent surrounding her as he slept.

Damn him.

Logan’s large hand stroked her belly before moving higher, cupping her breast. She refused to

push into his touch, not wanting to lower herself any more than she already had by giving in and

sleeping with the man she’d stayed away from for months without mating him.

Logan rolled her nipple between his fingers, and she bit her lip so she couldn’t call out, begging

for more.

Ah, it seemed the wolf wasn’t asleep.

Damn him anyway.

“Good morning,” he mumbled against her ear, his sleep-heavy voice, deep and sexy as all get

out.

She tried to say something back, but her voice caught in her too-tight throat. She blinked back the

traitorous tears, cursing herself for being so weak when she’d tried to be so strong for so long.

He might have said the night before that they were waiting until they were both ready, but she’d

seen the lie in his eyes. Oh, there was truth in those words, but that wasn’t all of it. He was holding

something back, holding
himself
back, and she’d been the one to take the brunt of the pain.

She couldn’t even relish the morning after the best sex of her life because he’d make her feel like

she was
nothing
. Who was he to do that?

Who?

“Cailin?”

This time his voice was more awake, and she could detect a hint of worry.

“Did I hurt you last night, princess? Was I too rough?”

Cailin closed her eyes, willing those damn tears away. She had to get out of his bed, out of his

home. She needed to get back to her life, regroup, and find a way to heal the pain of all that had been

lost and learn to live alone again.

He’d rejected her by being with her but not fully.

She couldn’t take any more.

She wouldn’t take any more.

Before she could rethink and change her mind, she wiggled from his hold—not an easy thing to

do with the metal-like band of his arm tightening around her waist. She pulled as hard as she could

and finally stood by the bed, searching for her clothes.

“Cailin, baby?”

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “Don’t call me baby. Or princess. Or anything that means

something to you when I clearly don’t.”

Logan’s glowered then got up, towering over her, naked, sweaty, and so alpha her wolf wanted

to bow her head in submission.

Fuck that.

“What the fuck, Cailin? You jump from my bed and shout these things that make no sense? What

happened?”

“It’s more like what didn’t happen.”

He blinked at her and tried to reach for her. She flinched, moving back.

The hurt on his face was almost her undoing, but she remained strong. She had to. He’d hurt her

and damn him for making her feel bad about wanting to breathe again.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Other than the obvious. Tell me.”

She swallowed hard, fighting back tears. She would not cry in front of this man. Not anymore.

He didn’t deserve it. She didn’t trust him.

“What’s wrong? You pulled away, Logan. You don’t want me? Fine.”
Lie.
“But that doesn’t

mean you can just fuck me when your wolf gets horny. We only completed half the bond so we can

part. Yeah, it’ll hurt like hell, but we’ll live. You should have worn a condom if you didn’t want me.

But you’re an asshole, so I’m leaving.”

She knew she was sounding hysterical at this point and not making any sense, but goddess, she

just wanted to leave.

She wanted to run into her mom’s arms and have her for comfort.

The shock of knowing that would never happen again slammed into her like a freight train, and

she gasped, her eyes filling with tears.

She had to get out of there.

Now.

As soon as she turned, Logan grabbed her arm. “Seriously? Where the hell did this come from,

Cailin? We were warm in bed after a fucking amazing night. Why are you running away?”

“Running away? Fuck you. Fuck you so hard. You denied our bond. Don’t you get that?”

Logan’s eyes glowed gold. “No. No, I didn’t. Jesus, Cailin. We both talked about it. It wasn’t the

time. Wasn’t the day.”

She shook her head. “No, you talked about it. You declared. I shouldn’t have even done it, and

now I have to live with that. I’ll own that. But fuck you, Logan Anderson, for taking all the control.”

“Fuck. You know why I didn’t bite you? Didn’t mark you? Because fate fucks with us, Cailin. I

didn’t want to mate with you last night because we thought we had to. Because we were both in pain.

I want to have the night where our souls connect be worth more than covering wounds. I want to

actually love you and you love me. So I’m a fucking romantic. Sue me. I wanted us to actually have

something more than bitterness and hiding before we were ready to connect our souls.”

Her heart lurched, and she shook her head. The words were nice, and she knew he wasn’t lying

then, but they couldn’t erase the hurt.

“We
will
mate, Cailin. I know we will. We just need the right time.” His eyes pleaded, and she

wanted to do nothing but throw her arms around his neck and never let go.

So of course she needed to leave. Needed to be the Cailin Jamenson with her outer shell and a

heart so hidden no one knew it was there.

“No, Logan. Fuck you. You don’t get to decide when we mate.
We
do. You don’t get to declare it

all and make the decisions. I told you I wouldn’t be your beta, wouldn’t submit. So no. I’m leaving. I

don’t know if I’m coming back, but right now looking at you makes my heart hurt and makes my wolf

want you more than I should. I can’t do that. I need to go.”

“Cailin, princess, don’t leave.”

“You might have the strength of an Alpha, but you aren’t
my
Alpha.” The shock of pain at just

who was her Alpha then hit her hard, and her knees buckled. Logan gripped her tighter, his hands

almost bruising her skin.

“I know I’m not your Alpha, baby. I just...”

Cailin held up her hand, not able to take anymore. “I need space. I knew you were holding back,

and I shouldn’t have let it happen. I won’t stand for it again. I’m not weak, yet you’re making me feel

it.”

She pulled away, and this time he let her.

The loss broke her, her body shaking.

He’d let her.

By the time she made it to Maddox’s house, tears flowed down her cheeks. She hadn’t felt

anyone around her so she knew others hadn’t seen her break. Nor had she realized she’d been on her

way to Maddox’s.

The door opened before she made it down the walk, and he was striding toward her, his arms

outstretched. Her knees buckled, and he had her in his arms and cradled to his chest, walking back to

the house before she could take a breath.

Strong arms held her while smaller hands stroked her back. While she hadn’t thought she had any

tears left, she’d clearly been wrong. Her wolf howled, but the human part of her slowly grew numb,

her tears staining Maddox’s shirt. She could hear murmurs around her, but she didn’t listen. She just

knew she was safe for the moment in Maddox’s arms.

Not only was he her brother, her blood, but as he was the Omega, her wolf calmed. His powers

flared, and her wolf settled, the smaller bond she held as a Pack member to the Omega soothed her,

her body relaxing in his hold.

“There now, ladybug butt,” Maddox whispered. “Rest easy, I’m here.”

The nickname from her childhood jolted her awake from whatever kind of semi-conscious state

she was in, and she giggled.

Giggled.

“Stop calling me that, Mad,” she whispered, not serious in the least.

“You’ll always be my ladybug butt, Cailin. You’re my little sister, not just my Packmate. Now

tell me what happened.” The last part was in a deep tone, ordering.

Her wolf bristled, not liking Maddox showing his dominance. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was

also the Omega, Cailin wasn’t sure he’d even be able to force her wolf to act, but as it was, she was

lower in the hierarchy.

Just one more thing to resent on a day—no, week—in which she wanted to run and hide.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Cailin.”

She looked up at Ellie’s sharp tone. The quiet woman rarely spoke harshly, preferring to hide in

the background. It only made sense considering how she’d grown up in the Central Pack under the

thumbs of a sadistic ruling Alpha and his Heir—her father and brother.

“Tell us what happened.” The other woman held out her hand, and Cailin took it instinctively.

“We need to know if you’re in danger. If any of us are. Maddox knows that you’re in pain, and it’s

something even more than…than what happened to us on the field, but we need to know more.”

For a moment Cailin wondered what all she’d missed if Ellie knew exactly what Maddox was

thinking, but then she remembered that the two of them held a special type of mating bond where they

could not only feel each other but also hear each other’s thoughts if they so desired.

The pain arcing across her heart at the thought of never having that, or even a semblance of that,

with Logan didn’t surprise her.

Not when she knew it would more for a lifetime of hurt.

Cailin sighed, not wanting to share but knowing she needed to. It was so unlike her to burden

others with her problems, but at some point, she didn’t have a choice.

“I slept with Logan last night.”

Maddox growled, low, deadly.

Perhaps blurting it out to her brother like that with no context wasn’t the best idea.

Awkward.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked.

“Not the way you think,” she said quickly while scrambling to her feet. “He didn’t do anything I

didn’t ask for…he just didn’t do
all
that I asked.”

Maddox narrowed his eyes, and Ellie sat next to him, soothing her mate. “Explain,” he ordered.

“As you’re my baby sister, my
precious
baby sister, you don’t want to know what’s running through

my mind right now.”

“I meant he didn’t want to mate with me.” Saying the words aloud was almost freeing. And even

as she said them, she knew it was an overreaction.

Goddess, he’d said he’d wanted her and would mate with her in time, and yet what did she do?

She ran away. She’d felt hurt because he’d made the decision for both of them without talking to her.

In retrospect, he might have made the better choice for them both, but he’d made a mistake in not

discussing it with her.

That made her angry more than hurt, and she clung to that. Anger she could work with. Hurt made

her weak.

“Are you telling me he slept with you and didn’t complete the bond? That he used you?” With

each word, Maddox’s voice grew harsher, and Cailin knew she’d made a mistake in telling him.

What had been a private thing now would involve not only her brother, but the rest of her family

as well.

Damn it.

She hated her impulsiveness, her mistakes.

“Forget about it, Maddox. I’ll deal with it.” Which was what she should have done to begin

with. Now she would have to deal with the ramifications.

Logan would have to deal with the ramifications.

“Forget about it?” Maddox stood, and Ellie stood with him, trying to pull him back. It wouldn’t

work though. Once a Jamenson male was on the rampage, there would be no stopping him. Not when

it came to protecting family. Or at least what they thought of as protecting family.

“I need to talk about it with Logan.”

Her brother narrowed his eyes then turned toward the door. Cailin gripped his arm, but he kept

going, pulling away from her.

“Don’t hurt him, Maddox.”

Maddox growled and turned back. “I won’t kill him.”

Cailin huffed. “That’s not what I said, but I’m glad you won’t kill him. But I don’t want you to

hurt him.”

“That I can’t promise. He hurt you.”

“But it was a misunderstanding.” Or so she thought.

“No, you don’t get to cover for him. His words and lack of actions hurt you, so he gets to deal

with us. Deal with you when you’re ready. And even if he hadn’t done what he did, he would have to

deal with all of us. You’re our baby sister. He needs to know who he’s messing with.”

“I’m not your baby anything, Maddox!” Now her anger veered toward her brother, her wolf

growling for the protection of the man who would be their mate.

And he
would
be their mate, damn it.

“Let me deal with this.”

“Maddox!”