Read Fighting Temptation Online
Authors: S.M. Donaldson
Fighting Temptation (7 page)
Cade
Man, my mouth tastes like ass. I wish whoever is beating that damn drum this early would stop. I think my eyelids are stuck to my eyes. I can’t open them.
“Good question, ass face.”
I sit up quickly. Too quickly. “Fuck, my head.”
I look over to see Daria staring at me.
“Here, take these aspirin and drink this water. I’m fixing some breakfast; you need to eat.”
I shake my head, taking the medicine and swallowing almost the entire bottle of water. “Why am I here? How did I get here?”
“Well, after you decided to drink most of the bar last night, I brought you here because you passed out in my car. I didn’t want to wake Russ and Anna.”
“Very slowly, although you actually helped a little.”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with me. What happened?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
“Um, it’s all kinda fuzzy.”
“Here, I washed your clothes, everything but your boxers. I’m sure I have a pair of those somewhere in my clothes.”
She walks to the bedroom and opens the door. I can tell it’s the master bedroom but none of the boxes are unpacked. She opens a clothes drawer and pulls out a pair of boxers. “Go take a shower. Maybe that’ll help.” “Thanks.”
I follow her to the bathroom. I turn on the water and start trying to piece together last night. Stepping into the spray, I think. I remember the team coming in. I remember eating my wings. I remember Lucas hitting on Daria and her shooting him down. Carrie trying to grope me in the hallway. Oh shit, Daria and I screwed in the storage room.
I’m such an ass.
What did we say to each other?
I turn the shower off. Looking at myself in the mirror as I dry off, I realize I look like complete shit. Getting dressed quickly, I walk out to the kitchen. Man, I’ve missed her cooking.
I sit down to the breakfast bar to eat. I might as well break the tension. “So, bits and pieces of last night are coming back to me. Pretty much the last thing I remember is the storage room and pounding drinks after that. I’m not even positive what we said to each other in there.”
She shakes her head. “Same shit. Why can’t we be together? I love you. Me telling you that you deserve better. Then you got pissed and stormed out. That’s when you started drinking heavily and telling everyone that gave you the opportunity that you loved me but I didn’t love you. That we’d had sex twice that day and it was, and I quote, magical. The best part is you pissed fucking Carrie off. You called her Satan’s bitch and threw up your fingers like a cross saying, ‘back, devil woman, back.’ That part was pretty funny. The guys thought it was hilarious.”
Damn, I’m an idiot
. “I’m sorry, Dar. I didn’t mean to embarrass you at work. Especially in front of the other guys on the team. I am truly sorry.”
“There’s something else we need to talk about. Do you remember any of our conversation on the way home last night?”
“I remember saying something about my mom and Richard. I remember saying something about Gabby having the baby. Then I remember me saying some shit about us having a baby. Wow. I was really drunk.”
She takes a deep breath. “We had sex twice yesterday without condoms. Now, even though last night you assured me that you don’t have any STDs because Cade Jr. couldn’t get up for anyone else and I haven’t been with anyone else, I’m also not on any birth control right now. I haven’t had any need for it.”
She shrugs. “I don’t think so. I’m close to starting so it’s not time to ovulate yet, but if you want me to, I can go get the morning after pill. I just thought you should know.”
I shake my head. “No. Don’t go get that pill. If it happens, we can deal with it. But I just can’t let you go get that pill. Not with you. Is that what you want? Do you wanna go get the pill?”
I bite a piece of bacon. “Okay, so we’ll deal with it if we have to. Let’s just not get worked up about it until we know something okay?” Damn this is good, “Babe, you haven’t lost your touch for cooking. Why are you so skinny?”
“Yes, I went running, smart ass. It was my escape and, no, I haven’t told Gabby yet. I didn’t think she would really care about my running while she was having a baby.”
She takes a sip of her coffee. “A month now, I guess.”
“So why haven’t you unpacked your bedroom?”
“Just too many memories right now. Going through those boxes, it kinda hurts too much.”
“I’ll help you if you want me to.”
“It’s not about that. It’s just, when I go through those boxes, I realize how much I’ve had and lost in the past couple of years.”
I put my fork down. “Daria, I may have been d runk and I’ve been denying it to myself and everyone else for the past six months. But I love you and I want us back. If you aren’t ready or whatever, I’ll be your friend. Talking to you the other day and today has been great. Well, minus today’s hangover.”
“Cade, it’s not about my love for you. Don’t doubt that. It’s just- I love you enough to let you go. Being in my life is dangerous.”
“Well, since we are on this subject... I was the one who got shot and you left before I could ask you. I feel like you owe me some honest answers. Starting with why do you use your stepfather’s last name? I have my ideas, but I want to hear it from you.”
I sit back in my chair trying to figure out how to explain this. If I ever want anything between Cade and me I have to let him into my world. “My father is a part of an organization called the Dixie Mafia. There was an incident when I was younger. My parents felt like I would be safer if I used Jim, my stepdad’s, last name.”
“Cade, I really don’t want to talk about this. It’s in the past and that is where I prefer to leave it. Changing my name was supposed to be a way for me to get past all of it, but I don’t guess I ever will. As much as I wanted to have a normal relationship and for things to work out between us, I just know it can’t happen.”
I throw my hands up trying not to get frustrated. “What was the incident? What happened that was so bad? I think I deserve some straight answers!”
I can see that she’s getting mad. She jumps up f rom the table. “Fine! You wanna know? You really wanna know the ugly truth? Well, here it is! I was abducted after school one day when I was fifteen! I was beaten, raped, and left for dead in a ditch!”
Daria
Sitting on the bed in what’s supposed to be my bedroom, I can’t believe I just blurted all of that out that quick. I’ve never done that.
I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. Damn it, I’m crying.
“Daria, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. But I’m glad you told me. Is that where the scars came from?”
I wipe my nose. “Yes, those scars are from where they decided to torture me. You can’t see most of them. Plastic surgery took care of the rest.”
I nod to cut him off. “Yes, it was the first time. You don’t need to be sorry. I actually do kinda feel better now that I’ve told you. Now maybe you understand why I can’t be with you.”
“Cade, you can’t. Those guys who broke in last year? They were after me to prove a point. They were some of the only people who knew where I was and knew my last name. As you well know, it didn’t matter who they hurt to get to me.”
“Most of it has to do with my real dad. The first attack was because some of his business associates weren’t happy with the way things were running in his area. They were mad after he refused to give in on some issues. They were making a point to him. They see me as his weakness.” “Why did they attack you again?”
“Well, he found out some of his ‘associates’ were stealing product. When he sent them on their merry way, they wanted revenge.”
“So no one actually sent them to you? They were just angry that they were basically fired? If you can be fired from a criminal organization,” he says, confused.
“What were they stealing?”
I shake my head. “You don’t want to know. Let’s just put it this way. It wasn’t Bibles.”
“Is that why you really quit dancing in school?”
“Yes. Well, that a nd I had to change schools. Everyone that I went to school with knew who I was and knew what happened to me. So my parents decided I would go by Jones and they moved me to St. Mary’s. It wasn’t the fresh start any of us thought it would be. I got really messed up.”
“Messed up how?” “Some of the rich kids that I went to school with introduced me to cocaine. It helped me forget and not feel. I was ashamed people still knew what happened to me, but it wasn’t like St. Mary’s was that far away from where I went to public school. Some of them acted like it was my fault.”
“For almost two years. About six months before I came here, I was on a run. I had been gone from home a few days, hadn’t slept the entire time. I was in a house that was about to get busted when my real dad came to get me. After he brought me home, all three of my parents decided that, if I was going off to college in the fall, I had to go to rehab first.”
“Wow. I can understand why you wanted a fresh start. I still wish you would’ve shared it with me. You’ve been through hell, Daria. I don’t want you to ever go through it again. Why didn’t your parents step in sooner to help you?”
“For a while, they didn’t know. Then I think they were all in denial. Plus I was mean. I blamed my dad, my mom, my step-dad for everything that happened to me. I was violent at times towards my mom. But once I went to rehab, I started counseling. I could see that, yes, my father’s business was the reason it happened, but that I was in charge of my life and the decisions I make.”
“So why do you still feel like you have to be alone? I don’t like you facing all of this alone. It kills me to know that you were alone for six months basically in that cabin.”
“With you last year, I felt safe. I felt the most secure and the happiest I’d been in years. Once we broke up and then we were attacked, I knew I couldn’t ever promise someone it wouldn’t happen again. So I just don’t want to put someone through that.”
“Don’t you feel like that should be my dec ision? I broke up with you last year because I thought you were lying to me. If you had told me, I never would’ve left your side.”
“I still have nightmares.” I look up at him, almost pleading. “I have nightmares about that night. I see it all happening but most of the time the cops never come or I can’t get to you.”
I shake my head. “No, I haven’t unpacked in here yet. Every time I start to go through a box, I see something that reminds me of when I was happier. I found the picture I used to keep on my nightstand of you and me. It made me smile until I remembered that I was wearing that same shirt when we got attacked. Then I see Gabby or Anna’s handwriting on a box and I think about if they would’ve gotten home when we did. I wonder why they still like me. I mean, they came home to a wrecked house, a psychotic roommate, and a brother with a gunshot wound.”
“First of all, they don’t like you. They love you. You are a part of our family.” He pulls me to his chest, stroking my hair. “I still love you. I love you more than I ever could anyone else on this planet, I think.”
“Yeah, getting shot wasn’t at the top of my to -do list, but I’m fine. My hell started when I woke up in that hospital and couldn’t find you. I went home for the summer and I did. I tried to forget. I tried to see other people, but I just couldn’t. I may have been shit faced last night, but I was serious. I couldn’t have sex with anyone else.”
“ How do we do this? I mean, there are still going to be things I can’t tell you. Some of the stuff with my dad I can’t breathe a word of to anyone.”
“I’ll try.”
“What did you say or do to Skylar last year?”
I laugh. “I made few points to him. I punched him in the throat so he would shut up and listen. Then I had some of my father’s associates follow him around campus to take the flyers down. Since I’m assuming his father is big in business here, he took my warning seriously when I told him who I was affiliated with.”
“Look, that’s not something I do very o ften. I try to distance myself from my father’s friends. That day, though, I’d had enough. I was tired of how that asshole just kept assuming he could treat people the way he did and that no one would do anything about it. So I just had to show him that I had bigger balls than him.” I chuckle again, thinking about that day. “Oh and I made him apologize to Anna. Like face to face.” It feels good for the mood to lighten a little bit. I’ve always felt like I could joke around and be silly with Cade. I’ve missed having that.
He pats on the top of one of the boxes. “How about you and I unpack these boxes together? It’ll be like a trip down memory lane.”
“Good, that’s all I’m asking.”
In just a few hours, we’ve unpacked all of the boxes.
Cade
In just a few hours, we’ve unpacked all of the boxes.
“So you think you might try to sleep in here tonight?”
She nods. “Maybe. Come on, let’s go in the living room.”
Walking over to her sofa, we sit down. I smile. “Today has been the best day I’ve had in a very long time. With the exception of the massive hangover this morning.”
“I can understand that. Do you wanna go visit Gabby at the hospital? We can see if they’ve named the baby.”
She shakes her head.
“Good, we’ll go visit and then I can get my car back.”
“Sounds good. I’m gonna go grab a quick shower and then I’ll be ready. Feel free to watch TV or whatever. I’m sure there is some sports station on there.”
“Ha ha, I know you are. Just not today.”
She starts to walk toward her room. “Hey, Cade? Thanks for helping me unpack today.”
I flash her my signature smile. “No problem.”
Today has been great. I can see I’m finally chipping away at those walls she has rebuilt around her heart over the past six months. After hearing what happened to her, I feel like such an asshole for the way I acted last year. I know I have my own insecurities about lying, or lying by omission, but now I feel like I understand better why she felt the need to leave some of the facts out.
I was glad to see her sit down and eat breakfast this morning. She needs to put some weight back on. Don’t get me wrong; she could weigh 90lbs or 250lbs and I would still love her. But the raging hormone-driven man inside me misses those curves she had in all the right places. I still can’t believe I acted so damn stupid last night. It’s a miracle she’s still speaking to me.
Shit… I told the entire bar that we’d had sex twice and it was magical. What the fuck was I thinking?
I pick up my phone off the end table. There are video messages from Jason. I open them and hit play.
Oh fuck, that was bad, really bad.
Although the video of me telling Carrie to go away was awesome.
“Jason felt the need to send me some video of last night. I’m pretty embarrassed by most of it. Except at the end of the night when I told Carrie off. That was pretty spectacular, if I do say so myself.”
“Yeah, that was pretty funny. You just watch out, because you know that bitch will probably try to get even with you. You remember when she tried to set Ron up last year? It took him a long time to convince Jackie that he never did anything with her. ”
“Yeah, just let me slip my shoes on.”
~*~*~
Thirty minutes later, we pull up to the hospital. I look over at her. “So do you think Gabby will like this stuff or do you think it’s stupid?”
“Snacks and magazines? Trust me, she’ll love it because it keeps Linc occupied, and Linc will love it because he’s a guy. Plus, this is Gabby; she loves snacks, too.”
“You guys are funny.” “I’m serious; she scares me.”
We find the room full when we arrive. Richard and my mom are here, along with Mary, Linc’s mom, and Russ’s parents, Russ, and Anna. When we come in, everyone looks at us. You know in movies when someone walks into a bar and the music stops and everyone stares? That was our reception. I know everyone is wondering what in the hell is going on with Daria and me, but I don’t care and I’m not pushing her.
Russ looks up. “Who said you were the godfather?”
“I did. I look better in a suit than you.”
Gabby pipes up. “We haven’t picked godparents yet.”
I sit down on the end of her bed. “Here, Daria and I picked this up for you on the way here. It’s some snacks and magazines for you and Linc.”
Daria steps to the foot of the bed. “Have you guys decided on a name yet?”
Gabby looks up at Linc and smiles. “We decided on Marshall Lewis Addison.”
Gabby hands Marshall over to Daria. Daria looks like a mom. I can just see her holding our baby like that. He looks so safe and content in her arms.
“Sounds good. I still say you should have let us do it like a lottery.”
My mom pops me on the arm. “Caden Michael Johnson, you seriously didn’t say that?”
“It was a joke, Mom, jeez.”
Russ looks up. “Hey, I’m gonna go grab some coffee for everyone. You wanna come with me?’
“Yeah, I’ll help.”
I know what’s coming as soon as we get out the door.
“So? What happened last night?” “I got really drunk and made an ass out of myself. Embarrassed the fuck out of Daria at her job. Then I passed out in the car, so she put me on her couch. I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. We talked most of the day, got some confusion out of the way. We didn’t discuss a relationship. I think right now we are trying to figure ourselves out.”
“Pretty much everything. I think. But I’m not going to push her anymore. I was stupid before and pushed too hard. By pulling out my asshole card and giving her the ultimatum of telling me or breaking up, I lost her. I’m working on my trust issues. She had good reasons for not sharing. I was just being selfish. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt her to tell me and relive what has happened to her.”
“I think eventually she will. In time. It’s just very hard for her. It’s very personal and I’m not pushing her to share it with anyone; it’s not my place.”
He shrugs. “Okay, I guess I can understand that.” “Well, she feels a lot of self-guilt for everything that happened last year. I think she’s almost driven herself crazy with the ‘what if” scenarios. She had not even unpacked her things because they had Anna and Daria’s handwriting on the boxes. She feels like she doesn’t deserve to have such wonderful friends. The kind of friends who would pack up your room after they came home to a bloodbath because of you.”
“Yeah, it is.”