Final Score (57 page)

And now, as she said her thanks and they cut back to the studio, he was still there in no hurry to run back up that tunnel one more time to join in the celebrations with his soon-to-be ex-teammates.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

She nodded, still trying to keep up her professional exterior until she could take her mic off. Not that any of her life was that private any more. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You sure?’

‘Ryan, please, I’m fine. Go and enjoy yourself, okay?’ She threw him a look that told him this wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation, and turned away from him. It was all she could do. But, as she unclipped her mic pack and handed it over, finally free to say and do what she wanted, she felt a sadness wash over her that seemed to overtake the confusion. She just needed to dig up that strength she’d found earlier and start dealing with this. One way or another.

*

Jim’s eyes stayed on Ryan as he watched him lean in closer to Amber, and whatever she’d said to him had made him step away, but that meant nothing. She was still mic’d up, so whatever conversation they were having post-interview, it couldn’t be anything too personal. She wouldn’t want any of this to be out there in the open just yet, just as he was in no hurry to make anything public. Unless it involved her commitment to him. Unless it involved them making those plans to renew their vows and showing the world just how much they loved each other, and he could only hope that was still a possibility. Because the thought that everything could now be taken away from him was the fear he’d tried to push aside. The fear that wouldn’t lie low. The fear that was well and truly making itself known now.

He watched as Ryan ran back towards the tunnel, his arms high above his head as he clapped more thanks to the fans who were still inside the stadium, making sure they got one last glimpse of one of the best players this club had seen in a long time. Could he have become even better if Jim hadn’t have come back here and messed with his head, pushed him into doing things and taking paths he may never normally have taken. Or was Ryan Fisher one of those people who was always going to go down a certain path, with or without provocation?

It wasn’t until he reached the mouth of the tunnel that Ryan turned around, coming face to face with Jim, who’d been determined to go nowhere until he’d seen him. And although they were surrounded by club officials and other players who still hadn’t retreated to the dressing rooms, he still needed to let him know. He still needed to make him aware of what was at stake here.

‘That was one hell of a final game. Because you’re one hell of a player,’ Jim said, his eyes locking onto Ryan’s. ‘Young, talented – an asset any club would be proud to have.’ He moved a step closer, gently holding onto Ryan’s arm, although his grip was far tighter than it might have looked to anyone watching. ‘But what you’ve done today, putting those thoughts into Amber’s head – you had no right to do that.’

‘I had every right,’ Ryan hissed, tugging his arm free of Jim’s grip. ‘She needs to know what you are. She needs to know what you’re capable of.’

‘If she comes running to you, you tell her it’s over. You hear me? All of this, it’s over.’

‘You must be so desperate, Jim. And I’m not doing this here. So you back off, okay?’ And with that he just walked away, leaving Jim more alone than he’d ever felt in his life. A man who had once been famous for his controlled and calm exterior was now helpless. And that was a feeling that scared him to the core.

*

‘He’s avoiding me,’ Amber said, impatiently tapping her fingers on the bar in the Players’ Lounge.

‘Who? And what the hell is going on with you this afternoon?’ Ronnie asked, pushing a gin and tonic towards her.

‘He’s got some fucking nerve,’ Ryan said, joining them at the bar, showered and changed, his dark, damp hair pushed back off his face.

‘Again,
who
?’ Ronnie asked, his voice slightly more agitated now. ‘I feel like I’m in the middle of the frigging Twilight Zone here. Is someone going to explain what’s going on?’

‘Has he said something to you?’ Amber looked at Ryan, taking a sip of her gin. The alcohol hit was greatly appreciated.

‘He cornered me in the tunnel. Said if you came running to me, to tell you it was over.’

‘Something can’t be over if it never really started.’

‘Is anyone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?’ Ronnie asked, raising his voice slightly, if only to get some sort of reaction. Because being nice obviously wasn’t getting him anywhere.

Both Amber and Ryan looked at him. But neither of them seemed in any hurry to offer an explanation. ‘I’ll talk to you later,’ Amber said, not really making it clear whether she was aiming that at Ryan or Ronnie, but she’d spotted Max, and she was determined he wasn’t going to avoid her any longer. ‘Max! Jesus, if he walks away from me one more time…’ She followed him out of the Players’ Lounge. ‘Max!’

He turned to face her just as Jim appeared from around the corner. She looked from one to the other, not missing the glance that passed between the two of them.

‘Okay. Now I
know
you both had something to do with this.’

‘Amber, baby…’

‘No, Jim!’ She stared at him. Her beautiful husband. Her strong American man. How could she still love him so much, yet resent everything he’d tried to do? How could she still love him – so fucking much? ‘Not now. I want to hear what Max has to say.’

‘We need to talk. Have you any idea how this is making me feel?’

‘Making
you
feel?’ She couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Maybe if you didn’t stir up so much shit then none of this crap would be happening.’

‘He was taking you away from me.’

‘He was doing nothing, Jim. Because I have a mind of my own, and no matter what he tried to do it would have been
me
who’d ultimately made whatever decision needed to be made.’

‘And what
is
that decision?’

‘You honestly think it’s that easy? Huh? After all of this… you think it’s that easy? You think I can just stand here and tell you what’s gonna happen next? Because I haven’t got a fucking clue, Jim.’

‘Okay, okay… let’s all just calm down a bit here,’ Max said, and even he had to flinch at the look Amber threw him.

‘I told you before, Max, I’m going to ask you questions and you’re going to tell me the truth.’

‘Amber, come on…’

She swung around to look at Jim, stopping him from saying any more. ‘I don’t need you around right now, Jim. Okay? I want to talk to Max. Alone.’

‘This isn’t happening…’ Jim sighed, leaning back against the wall, pushing a hand through his hair.

‘Oh, it’s happening. It’s really happening.’ She turned her attention back to Max. ‘Follow me. We’re going somewhere more private.’

‘Amber!’ Jim shouted after her, but she wasn’t listening any more. She was on a mission to find out the truth. To find out exactly what had been going on. The reasons
why
it had happened could wait. For now.

Arriving back downstairs, at the room she and Jim had been in earlier, Amber opened the door to let Max through, closing it quietly behind her.

‘Why did you let him persuade you?’

Max looked at her, his expression one that said he didn’t quite know how to deal with this.

‘Jesus, come on, Max! You can tell I know what’s going on, so don’t even bother trying to look surprised. He asked you to look for a foreign club for Ryan. Is that true?’

Max sighed, bowing his head as he dug his hands deep into his pockets. ‘Yes, Amber. It’s true. But it wasn’t that simple…’

‘You actually let him talk you into doing that?’

‘I didn’t
let
him talk me into anything.’

‘Has he got something against you? Is there some big secret you’re hiding that only he knows about, and if you didn’t do what he wanted…?’

‘You’re blowing this all out of proportion, Amber.’

‘I’m
sorry
? Did you just say I was blowing this all out of proportion? The father of my baby is about to leave the country to live thousands of miles away…’

‘And is that all he really is?’

She looked at him, frowning. ‘Again, I’m
sorry
?’

‘Is that all Ryan really is? The father of your baby?’

‘I don’t want him to be all those miles away, Max. I never wanted that.’

‘But you didn’t want him living just around the corner, either. Did you? Because neither of you can trust yourselves. You keep going round and round in these fucking circles, sleeping with each other then pretending you hate each other, before something happens and you’re back fucking each other like a couple of out-of-control teenagers instead of two adults who should know better. And that isn’t good for anybody, Amber. But it’s especially dangerous for Ryan. Because you know the kind of person he is. You know how vulnerable he can be; how much he can let things get to him. And what you two do to each other, it isn’t healthy. He needs stability. And, okay, when Jim first asked me to look into clubs further afield than Europe, I didn’t want to get involved, because his motives – they were different.’

‘How?’

‘You know how. He wants Ryan out of the way, out of arm’s reach. He wants him to no longer be a threat to your marriage because that’s all he sees Ryan as now. A threat.’

‘So why did you do it? If you didn’t agree with…’

‘Because I care about that kid. Yes, he’s been an idiot in the past, and it beggars belief how he’s still in one piece when I think about what could have happened to him. But I love him, Amber. I love him like a fucking son, and I knew – I
knew
, given everything that’s happened over the past couple of years, I knew that if you two were still around each other, it’d eventually destroy him. If he was around you all the time, but he couldn’t have you, it
would
destroy him.’

‘He’s stronger than that,’ Amber whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as those tears finally started to fall.

Max shook his head. ‘No, Amber. He isn’t. Sweetheart, he isn’t strong. And I can’t risk him throwing his life away. Not again. He hasn’t got that many chances left.’

She backed up against the wall, covering her mouth with her hand as those sobs started to escape.

‘Oh, Jesus, come on, kiddo…’ Max moved towards her, but she held up her other hand, shaking her head, stopping him from coming any closer. She didn’t want to be hugged or made to feel as though this was alright. Because it wasn’t. It was so far from alright. ‘Amber…’

‘We could have worked something out, Max.’

He shrugged, his hands still in his pockets. ‘Maybe. I don’t know. But I wasn’t prepared to risk it. What Jim told me, I knew it was for his own – I don’t know, call them slightly selfish reasons, but after I thought about it, after I sat down and actually thought about it, I realised it was probably the best thing for Ryan. In the long run. That’s why I agreed to contact L.A. Gamers after Jim told me Corey Reynolds was on the look-out for a big-name British player. Everyone wants their own David Beckham, huh?’

Amber looked down at the floor, at her bright-red boots, at the dark tiled floor; anywhere but at Max.

‘But we didn’t think it through one hundred percent,’ Max went on, his voice a little calmer now, a little more controlled. ‘Otherwise we would have seen this coming. And we were naïve to think nobody would find out.’

She finally looked back up. ‘I don’t know what to do, Max. I’m angry and upset and so fucking confused I can’t even get my head straight. I mean, is this – is this all
m
y fault? Because… because I don’t know…’

‘Listen, kiddo, it isn’t all your fault, okay? This is a mess that was caused by so many different people and actions that have had knock-on effects we can’t even begin to think about. It’s just one of those things. And maybe we should have seen it coming a long time ago.’

‘You should have told me,’ she whispered, twisting her wedding ring round and round her finger as she stared down at her left hand. ‘That this was happening. You should have told me.’

‘Jim, he… he really does love you, Amber. In his own, sometimes misguided way, he loves you. And what he did here, it was because he was scared. He was desperate. He loves you, and Ryan was a threat, someone who could take you away from him, so…’

‘You should have told me.’

‘He loves you, Amber. And maybe you should hear him out.’

Her head shot up, her eyes boring into Max’s. ‘It’s because of him that Ryan is moving thousands of miles away from his son. I’m not sure I
want
to hear him out.’

Max threw his head back, letting out another heavy sigh. ‘You need to think about this, Amber.’

A loud rap at the door made Amber jump, and she stepped away, flinging it open to find Ronnie standing there, a look on his face that suddenly made her feel nothing but panic.

‘You really need to stop disappearing, Amber. Or at least tell someone where the hell you’re going.’

She could hear the wail of sirens in the distance, noise coming from upstairs that didn’t sound like any form of celebrating, and all of a sudden she felt sick to her stomach. Whatever was happening, she knew it wasn’t good. Ronnie’s face was telling her that much. ‘Ronnie? What’s wrong? What’s happened…? Oh, Jesus, is it Rico? Oh God, no, not Rico…’

‘Rico’s fine. Sweetheart, he’s fine. He’s with your dad… It’s Jim.’

‘Jim?’

She felt that panic rise, along with another wave of nausea she had to try and batter down.

‘He collapsed, in the Players’ Lounge. There were paramedics already in the stadium so they got to him pretty quickly, but… Amber, are you listening to me? Can you look at me, babe? Please. Look at me.’

He put his hand to her face, making her look at him. But all she could hear was the sound of blood rushing to her head, and all she could feel was that rapidly rising panic washing over her.

‘They think he might have had a heart attack…’

‘No,’ Amber whispered, shaking her head. ‘No.’ She pushed past him, running so fast along the corridor her chest hurt, but she didn’t care. She just needed to run.