Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary (20 page)

“Really?
All of you are ready?”

“Most
deadlines have already passed, depending on where you go, you might have
another week or two,” Cole pipes up. “I have three filled out and ready to send
on Monday.”

“Of
course you have,” I mutter as anxiety rolls through me. “I can’t believe I’ve
waited so long.”

Everyone
continues talking, but I’m mentally berating myself for messing up. All I have
left to write is my essay, but the subject matter is going to be hard for me to
deal with. I excuse myself and walk around to clear my head. This view is one
of my favorites. The quarry lit up by the moonlight and of course the clear sky
covered in stars—it reminds me of my birthday.

“Whatcha
thinking about?” Haden asks, standing next to me.

“Graduation.
College. My birthday. Everything,” I admit and lean my head on his shoulder. “I
really screwed up.”

“You
have time—just write the essay tomorrow and we’ll mail our applications off
together.”

“You
haven’t sent yours in either?” I look up at him, but his eyes are trained on
the horizon.

“Not
yet.” He takes my hand in his and kisses it. “Just waiting on you.”

“Guess
I need to get my act together.” I smile sadly.

He
tugs my hand behind him to bring us back to the group and kisses me in front of
everyone.

“Dude,”
Cole shouts, “it’s not midnight, yet.”

“Practice,”
Haden laughs.

“Resolutions,”
Joey announces. “We’ve got five minutes until it’s midnight, let’s do it.”

“Resolutions?”
Bailey asks.

“Yeah,
it’s our tradition,” Braxton confirms. “We take turns saying what our
resolution is for the New Year. We’ll save you newbies for last and give you
time to think. Joey, you’re up.”

He
rubs his hands together over the fire and looks at everyone with a mischievous
grin. “I’m going to try something new. This year, I’m going to go skydiving.”

“Nice,”
Cole says. “All right, my resolution is—I’m going to get straight A’s for
my last semester.”

“Good
luck with that,” I tease. “Okay, my turn: I’m going to find my birth
mom—with my parents’ blessing.”

Haden
wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. “Well, I guess I’m up. My
resolution is that I’m going to enter a marathon.”

Braxton
nods his approval and clears his throat, “okay, my resolution is that I’m not
going to hide who I am anymore.”

I
don’t miss the look Braxton and Scot exchange before Scot speaks up. “Am I
next? Okay, so I guess my resolution is that I’m going to try to mend things
with my dad.”

I
suppose there’s the reason why he moved to Texas, but none of us pry.

“What
about you, Bailey?” Joey asks, holding her hand.

She
looks around nervously and bites her nail. “My resolution is that I’m going to
join a band.”

“What?”
I openly gape. I’ve heard her sing, but she’s never mentioned that it was an
interest.

“Just
something I’ve always wanted to do,” she shrugs with a shy smile.

“All
right, Ree, you’re up.” Braxton points.

“Okay,
my resolution,” she starts but pauses for a second, “I’m going to stop going
after the wrong guys.”

I
can’t help the laugh that escapes me, but when I try to stop, she and Braxton
join in. Everyone looks at us like we are idiots, which is a good thing because
she knows I haven’t said a word to anyone.

“Wait,”
Cole points to himself, “is that a jab at me?”

She
smiles and shakes her head. “Nope. Not at all.”

“Braxton,” a guy calls out when he comes
into view.

“What’s
up, Davis?” he asks, walking toward the football player.

I’m
standing near my locker with Haden waiting for the first bell to ring. Even
though he’s in the middle of telling me something, my attention is focused on
our other friend because something isn’t sitting well with me. Braxton walks
over and raises his hand to pat him on the shoulder, but Davis dodges the touch
and pushes him away.

“Dude,
back off! Just because I talk to you doesn’t mean I swing that way,” he says,
loud enough for everyone to hear.

Braxton
shakes his head and smirks, trying to take it as a joke, but it’s clear Davis
is trying to be a jerk.

“Get
over yourself, Davis,” he says with a shake of his head and leans in. “I’m not
into you.”

He
turns to walk away and nods his head in our direction, but doesn’t stop on his
way to class.

“Well
that didn’t take long, did it?” I ask.

“What,
people being assholes? Nope, never does,” Bailey chimes in. “What did you
expect?”

“Decency,”
I mutter. “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“Did
you finally mail off your application?” Joey asks.

We
haven’t had much time to talk since New Year’s Eve. We stayed out until well
after one in the morning talking and laughing, but the next day I was glued to
my desk, working on my essay for my applications. I spent the better part of
two days getting it perfect and had my parents read it over to make sure that
it was okay. The following Monday, Haden picked me up and we mailed off our
applications together.

“Yep,
all taken care of,” I smile.

“Yeah,
we each had three applications to mail off, and none of them were to the same
school,” Haden says.

I
wrap my arm around his waist and hold onto him. We were both disappointed, but
considering that he wants to study art and I want to study psychology, we had
limited options.

“But
most of our choices are only an hour away, so we’ll see what happens,” I remind
him.

“C’mon,
Lai,” Joey says, “we’re going to be late.”

“Fine,”
I pout before giving Haden a quick hug. “See you at lunch?”

“See
you.”

The
classroom is buzzing with chatter, and it barely stops when we walk in; it’s
obvious what—or rather whom—they are talking about. Some attempt to
modify the volume of their voices, but others talk louder.

Mr.
Tredway slams the door shut and causes a few people to jump in their seats.

“You’re
on my time now. You can continue your conversation after class.” He narrows his
eyes at the repeat offenders before turning around to the whiteboard.

“Laila,”
Kasey sneers at me, “how’d you do it?”

“Do
what?” I play along.

“Turn
Braxton gay—I mean, we all know he wasn’t always,” she laughs.

“That’s
enough, Kasey,” Joey says.

“You
better watch it, I bet you’re next,” she bites out.

“Please
tell me you’re not that stupid” I roll my eyes. “There is no way you are so
ignorant to believe that someone can be ‘changed,’ right?”

“He
was perfectly fine before you,” she answers.

“And
he’s fine now. Jeez, Kasey, you need to get over it. You never stood a chance
with Braxton. And even if he did like girls, there’s no way he’d have ever gone
for you because you’re mean, self-centered, and obnoxious—so take your ignorant,
small-minded, stupid opinions and keep them to yourself. Got it?”

“Are
you threatening me?” she asks, feigning concern. “Mr. Tredway, I don’t feel
safe with Laila Nixon in the room.”

“Don’t
worry about it, Mr. Tredway. I’m out,” I announce, grabbing my things and
leaving.

I
hear the teacher call out to stop me, but I keep walking until I find myself
outside the building and headed straight for Joey’s car. I know I shouldn’t
walk out, but it pisses me off—
she
pisses me off. I open the door and toss my things into the back before climbing
into the passenger seat and closing the door harder than I need to. I wish I
had his keys to start the engine and run the heater—I’m just glad he
always leaves this thing unlocked.

I
run through a mental list of the things I’d love to do to Kasey, but for some
reason I can’t get past public humiliation. I’m not sure how I’d do it, but
considering the things she’s done to so many people, I think it would be
fitting.

I’m
not sure how long I’ve been sitting here conjuring up all the ways to torture
Kasey, but I hear a noise outside that snaps me to the present. The driver side
door swings open and Joey takes a seat without saying a word. He puts his key
in the ignition and turns the heater on while we remain quiet. It’s overcast
and windy outside; the trees look like mere twigs without the leaves It’s plain
ugly out there, but I can’t stop staring. Joey exhales a loud breath and clears
his throat to get my attention, but I don’t look at him.

“That
was stupid,” he says.

“Yeah,
well, she’s a jerk. Guess she brings it out in me,” I counter.

“You
let her win, Lai. You never let her win, why this time?”

“She
was talking about Braxton.”

“And
she talks about you all the time, it’s not like you’ve never heard it before.”

“I
can take it, Joey. I’ve always been
a nobody
, but
Braxton was king of the school and now they’re ripping him apart. Because he’s
gay?”

“You’re
not a nobody, Laila. People don’t talk about nobodies—they talk about the
people they’re jealous or scared of, and you scare people. Besides, do you see
Brax crying about it? Is he hiding and slinking away? No, because he’s better
than that and so
are
you.”

“Then
why are you out here?”

“It’s
what best friends do, right?”

“Tredway
sent you after me, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,
but only after he lectured Kasey and the others about treating people with
respect.” He looks at his watch. “We have a few minutes until class is
over—we should probably head back.”

I
nod in agreement and grab my things so I can meet Joey, who’s waiting for me at
the front of the car.

“How
did you know where to find me, anyway?”

“You’re
always giving me a hard time about leaving my car doors unlocked—figured
that was the only place you’d go. Bet you’re glad I haven’t started taking your
advice.”

“You
know me too well.” I smile lazily. “Guess that’s why you’re my favorite.”

“I
knew it,” he laughs and wraps an arm around me.

We
open the doors to enter the building and take a few steps in but the bell has
rung and people are rushing to class. Someone pushes between us and I almost
fall from the force, but I don’t have time to reprimand the jerk because he’s
out of my sight by the time I look. Suddenly, people are pushing to get to the
far end of the hall with no regard for others.

Fight.

“Ah,
let’s go this way,” Joey says, pulling me in the opposite direction, and I
agree.

“Why
do people like fights so much?” I scoff.

“Probably
bec
—”

“Braxton
is beating that dude’s ass,” someone shouts and I swing around to see what
they
’re talking about. There’s only one Braxton in the
entire school and my heart rate increases as I rush toward the commotion.

“Laila,
come back,” Joey shouts, but I keep running and pushing my way through.

I
plow my body through a few people, trying desperately to get to the center, but
it feels like I’m getting nowhere. The crowd doesn’t notice me because they’re
too busy shouting and cheering the whole thing on.

“Stop
it,” I yell, but no one is listening. They never listen. They’re like animals.

I
can hear the lockers slamming and people are actually chanting in the
chaos—it makes me sick to my stomach.

“Braxton,”
I shout, “stop it.”

Somehow
I manage to break through the last barrier and see not only Braxton,
but
Haden fighting with two other football
players—Davis and Jason. Jason’s arm is raised, poised to swing at
Braxton when I run over and push him from behind, throwing him into the lockers
so he knocks his head against them.

“Stop
it!”

He
turns around to face me and checks his face for blood.
Don’t worry, loser, there isn’t any.
Davis pushes me back, but I
fight against him and break free so I can get to Jason, who watches every move
I make with a sick interest.

“What’s
your problem, Jason? Braxton has been your teammate and friend for years, even
though I’ve never understood why. And now you want to pick a fight with him?
You realize he can kick your ass any day of the week, right?”

“I’d
like to see him try,” he argues half-convincingly.

“Are
you really that stupid?” I scoff and shake my head.

“Someone
needs to teach you to keep that smart mouth of yours shut, don’t you think,
Davis?” he sneers and licks at his bottom lip.

“Trust
me, you are too stupid to teach me anything,” I smart back.

“Shut
up, Laila, and mind your own damn business,” he says as his face flames red. He
tries to shove me out of his way but I push back.

“These,”
I point to Braxton and Haden, “are my business.”

“Mine,
too,” Cole says, with Joey following behind him.

“Are
all of you gay or something?” Davis asks with a small laugh.

“No,
we’re not, but we’re not homophobic bigots either,” Joey challenges.
“Apparently you are.”

“It’s
cool, Lai.” Braxton steps in front of me and pushes Jason back. “He caught me
when my back was turned. Not sure he’d do it again while I’m ready for it.”

“Screw
you,” Jason sneers.

“Sorry,
bro,” Braxton smiles and winks, “you’re not my type.”

Braxton
turns around and Haden follows, but I remain rooted to the floor staring down
Jason and Davis.

“What
are you looking at?” Davis asks, stepping into my personal space.

“Nothing,”
I snap. “Just trying to figure out what level of idiot we’re dealing with
here.”

He
looks at me with confusion on his face, and I step forward and shove my finger
into his chest, pushing him backward until he hits the lockers behind him.

“Get
over your issues. And if you ever say another ignorant thing like that again,
I’ll do it myself or get someone bigger than you to shut you up.” I look around
at the crowd still gathered. “I’m sure there’s someone here who loathes you as
much as I do.”

I
turn around and push my way through the guys and past the students watching the
crazy side show and walk outside without bothering to stop despite the calls
from the guys to do otherwise.

* * *

After
what happened in the hall today, I called my mom and told her I was going home
from school early. She wasn’t happy that I’d miss my last classes, but it’s not
the norm for me to leave, so she relented. I came home, changed into my
swimsuit, and swam twenty laps at the local pool, but it did nothing to relieve
my temper.

It
blows my mind that people are so hateful and closed-minded, but it was right in
front of me. I guess it always has been. Mom should be home soon and I’ll have
to face the music, but hopefully she’ll understand when it’s all said and done.
My phone screen lights up so I check to see who’s trying to get ahold of me.

Haden: Where are you?

Me: Home

Haden: Can I come by?

Me: I’m fine. I’ll see you
tomorrow

Haden: Look outside

I
jump off my bed and looked out the window to see Haden leaning on the hood of
his car with his arms crossed over his chest. He runs his hand through his hair
and gives me a wave to come down, but I step back and grab my phone to text him
again.

Me: Hi

Haden: Come down here

Me: I just want to be
alone. Talk later?

Haden: I’m going home to
change. Run with me. 10
mins
?

I
consider saying no, but maybe the run will do me some good; so I tell him yes,
and a second later I hear his engine roar to life and watch as he backs out of
my driveway. I grab my running clothes and put them on before I head downstairs,
and I’m met with Mom as she enters the back door and she gives me
that
look.

“What?”
I shrug, unable to say anything else.

“What?”
she repeats. “Want to explain to me why you needed to leave school early?”

“It
was a bad day,” I offer, knowing it won’t be enough.