Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary (19 page)

“In
your dreams,” Braxton answers quickly. “You’ll be happy to know that I don’t
see any of you like that.”

Haden
has been quiet and seems deep in thought, so I nudge his arm and he finally
shakes his head and joins the rest of us.

“You
all right, man?” Braxton asks him.

“Yeah,”
he mutters. “Just kinda pissed you don’t think I’m hot.” Haden laughs at his
own lame joke and stands up, pulling Braxton in for one of those guy hugs that
turns out to be a real hug.

“I
love you, brother.” He pats his back. “I’m glad you’re finally being you.”

“Haven’t
I always been?” Braxton seems somewhat offended by Haden’s words.

“You’ve
always been you, but you were keeping something pretty big hidden—and
that’s totally your right—I’m just saying, it’s gotta feel good to get it
off your shoulders and let everyone know.”

There’s
a look of understanding exchanged between them that I don’t get, but then Cole
decides to say out loud what I’m not privy to.

“Yeah,
I guess Haden knows what it’s like to be in the proverbial closet. I mean, he
only pined after for Lai for like, what—ever?”

“Cole,
take a look around,” I tell him. “You’re the only single one here.”

The
words come out and I want to strangle my own neck. I spin to face Braxton and apologize,
but he shakes his head and smiles before pulling my back to his chest and
wrapping his arms around my neck in a hug.

“What
Lai didn’t mean to say is that, I’m seeing someone. I don’t want to give out
details right now, but he’s pretty damn cool and I guess we’ll see what
happens.”

“Cool,”
Cole says. He stands up and rubs his hands on his jeans. “So are we gonna get
some lunch or what? I’m starving.”

“I
could eat,” Joey agrees, hopping to his feet.

“Let’s
go then,” Braxton agrees and takes me to his car.

Cole,
Joey, and Haden get into their cars and wait for us to lead the way. Braxton
closes the door when he climbs in, exhales a huge breath, and starts laughing.

“You
okay?”

“That
went a helluva a lot better than I expected,” he says with a shy smile. “I
guess I thought they’d be pissed or not want to hang out anymore.”

Yet
another reason I love these guys: Braxton tells them something that has ruined
friendships and families because people can’t handle it—but here are my
guys…being themselves.
Amazing.

“Never
in a million years.” I reach out and squeeze his hand. “I think you’re stuck
with us.”

“Looks
that way.”

“Does
this mean you’re bringing a date to the quarry for New Year’s Eve?”

“Baby
steps, Lai. Let’s get through Christmas first.”

“I need you to help me out here, Joe.”

“You
know I hate it when you call me that,” he huffs, and I’m pretty sure he’s
rolling his eyes. “What’s up?”

“First,
you get a girlfriend.
Finally
. I
start dating Haden, which is working out really well—and then of course
Braxton being gay. I feel like everything is changing. Are we changing?” I let
all of it rush out at once.

“Yeah.
It is—we are.”

“Great,”
I groan, pulling the phone away from my mouth before rejoining the
conversation.

“—
to
be,” is all I hear him say.

“What?”

“I
said, 'that’s the way it’s supposed to be.' We aren’t supposed to be glued
together for life. I love you, Lai, you know that, but you’re so terrified of
moving on and losing what is happening now that you’re going to miss out on the
next part.”

“What
part is that?”

“Life.”

“Stop
being mature and mope with me. Things are coming to an end. Soon we’ll
graduate, and who knows where we’ll end up for college. I mean
,
I’m sure you’ll end up at some Ivy League school or
someplace like that, but the rest of us have no idea where we want to go. This
is the end of an era.”

“Why
are you trying to call time of death when we have four months left of
school—seven before we leave for college? Stop worrying so much.”

“Well
stop being so practical,” I argue.

“Are
you going to be like this all night? Debbie Downer?”

“I
am
not
Debbie Downer,” I protest,
appalled by the accusation. “I’m just looking back fondly on all the good times
I’ve had with my favorite people, but if you’re all happy to leave everything
behind, then
woo
, let’s party.”

“You’re
ridiculous,” he deadpans.

“No,
you’re just cold and heartless and I have no idea why we’re even friends,” I
grit out.

“Because
if it weren’t for me, you’d be a bitter, lonely,
emo
punk that has no friends. Instead, you have me.”

“Look
where that’s gotten me,” I laugh.

“Hell
yeah, it’s gotten you front and center in the local gossip, stripped of any
good reputation, and of course the object of everyone’s jealousy.”

“And
we’re friends why?” I ask with a smirk, even though he can’t see it.

“Wipe
that smug grin off your face,” he says, making me laugh.

“I’m
fine—I promise. New Year’s always makes me sentimental. Haden is coming
by after his mom goes to work and we’ll meet you out there at the quarry.”

“Sounds
good. And Lai?”

“Yeah?”

“The
changes suck, but it’s gotta happen.”

“Yeah-yeah,”
I mutter. “Love you.”

“You,
too,” he answers.

There
is a faint knock on my door and I figure it’s Mom, so I tell her to come in.
She walks into the room with a wistful smile on her face—she’s been doing
that a lot lately.

“What
time are you meeting everyone?”

“Ms.
Searle has to work tonight, but she wanted Haden to stay with her until she
does—so he’ll come by around ten. Do you and Dad have any plans?”

“I
think we’re going to take Luka to the
Camerons
’
party. Want to come with us for a bit?” she asks.

“No
thanks, but if you have a second, I wanted to talk to you about Andie—if
that’s okay.”

She
walks over and sits at the edge of my bed and picks at a spot on my comforter.
“Of course.” She reaches out and pushes my hair behind my ear. She purses her
lips and tries to appear nonchalant, but I can tell my request makes her
nervous as she fidgets.

“I’m
going on that road trip with the guys this summer, and we decided that we’re
all going to pick someplace to go along the way.”

“That
sounds like fun,” she says with a sad smile.

“I
think we’re all pretty excited about it, but I’m sad at the same time. I was
just telling Joey that I hate the idea of all of us moving and losing touch.”

“You
kids have been through so much. I really don’t see that happening.” She smiles
and gives me hope that she’s right.

“Well,
you know, since I found out about—well, everything—I’ve been
thinking a lot about Andie. I have so many questions, and now this crazy urge
to put it behind me before I go off to school. So I was thinking that I might
try to find her—Andie. What do you think?”

She
closes her eyes, and when she opens them I see the beginnings of tears and I
feel like the biggest jerk.

“I
think you should do whatever it is you need to. And your dad and I will support
and help in any way we can.”

“Mom,”
I grab her hand and squeeze it, “you are my mom. There’s nothing she could ever
say or do to change that.”

She
laughs lightly and winks. “Trust me, I have the wrinkles and gray hair to go
with all the sleepless nights and worry from being your mom. I earned these
suckers.”

“I’m
serious.”

“I
know, sweetie.”

“She
may not want to see me, or she might not even like me. There’s a chance I won’t
be able to find her, but I have to try. If I don’t, I’ll always wonder.”

“Laila,
you don’t have to explain anything to me—you searching for her doesn’t
offend or scare me—I’m your mom and I always will be. But you have
questions and she’s the only one who can answer them for you.”

“Laila,”
Dad yells from downstairs. “Company.”

Mom
rolls her eyes—Dad yelling is one of her pet peeves, mainly because he
does it to annoy her.

“Send
her up,” Mom yells back, and I laugh.

She
lifts her hand to open the door but it swings open and she’s face to face with
my newest friend, Ree.

“You
sure it’s okay if I come tonight?” Ree asks, looking past my mom.

“Ree,
this is my mom, Julie.”

Her
cheeks flush and she extends her hand. “Sorry, I’m really nervous.”

“It’s
fine.” Mom smiles. “Laila told me you moved out here with your dad. How do you
like it so far?”

She
grins at my mom. “The guys are really cute.”

“That’s
what I hear,” Mom agrees before excusing herself from the room.

Ree’s
dad had to work and I’m not sure about her mom, so I invited her to come to the
quarry with us. I know she’s interested in Braxton, but clearly that’s never
going to happen.

“There’s
something I need to tell you.”

“What’s
that?” She looks alarmed.

“I
was thinking that I would set you up with Cole. He was in the cafeteria that
day you stopped me from making a fool of myself and he’ll be there
tonight—I think you might really like him.”

“Oh,
okay,” she sighs. “So Braxton wasn’t interested.”

“It’s
not you,” I start.

“It’s
him,” she finishes with a shrug. “Always is.”

“No,
it really is you. I mean, not you, but you.”

“Wow,
you really have a way with words, don’t you?” she scoffs.

“What
I mean is, Braxton is gay.”

“Serious?”
She drops herself into my desk chair and gawks at me. “Damn, that sucks. For
me.”

“Yeah,
but Cole is cute—really cute. Obnoxious, but cute.”

“Don’t
ever be a salesperson—you’re not good at it. But I
can
do obnoxious,” she almost gloats.

“Great,
because he’s going to be here in twenty minutes to get you.”

“Aren’t
you coming with?”

“It’s
not my date. I’m not a chaperone,” I protest jokingly. “Haden’s coming by for
me later, so y’all go ahead and I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Does
Cole know that I was interested in Braxton?”

“Nope.
Didn’t say a word. He saw you that day in the cafeteria and heard that we had a
class together. He asked about you, but since you were talking about Brax, I
downplayed it, but now—game on.”

She
laughs but sobers before asking, “Does Braxton know?”

I
give her a wink. “He’ll never say a word.”

* * *

“Hurry
up.” I yank on Haden’s hand, causing him to laugh. “And stop making fun of me.
I want to meet Scot.”

Braxton
said that he would think about bringing his boyfriend out to the quarry for our
annual New Year’s Eve get-together, but made no promises. However, I talked to
him earlier today and he said that Scot really wants to meet us, so they’re
supposed to show up around ten.

Haden
tugs at my hand and pulls me to him in the middle of the path that leads to the
quarry.

“I
love you, Laila Jude,” he says before bringing his lips to mine.

I
feel the kiss all the way to my toes and find it hard to remain standing.

“This
has been the best year of my life, and it’s because of you. If I don’t get to
tell you later, thank you for being the best part of next year.”

I
wrap my arms around his neck and practically swoon before I return his kiss. It
still baffles me how I was so blind about his feelings for me. He is the most
attentive and caring guy, yet I never thought he saw me as anything more than
one of the guys. I see it in the way he looks at me now—and it’s the way
he always did, I was just too stupid to see it.

“I
love you, too. Every sweet and sappy thing that comes out of your mouth makes
me love you more. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.”

“Scared?
Of what?”

“What’s
going on with us is the highlight of my year, too—no doubt. But the year
is ending and you’ll be moving away for school and so will I. Do you really
think we can make it work?”

“You’re
not breaking up with me yet, are you?” he laughs, kissing me again. “Because if
you are, then I need to find someone else
who’s
less
baggage. Maybe someone with no ambition, someone who will do and think anything
I want her to—that way, it’ll be a lot easier to leave when the summer is
over.”

“Yeah,
you’d hate that.” I scrunch my nose at him, though I doubt he can see much in
the darkness.

“You’re
right, because you are the one that I want. So be with me, here and now. We’ll
worry about everything else later.”

“If
that line really works on her, you’re
gonna
have to teach
me your ways, master,” Joey says from behind us, holding Bailey’s hand.

“Bite
me,” I snap at Joey as he passes by. “Hey, Bailey, why are you with this guy?
You could do so much better.”

“What
can I say, he wore me down,” she says in monotone, causing me to laugh.

I
push at Joey’s shoulder and we follow them through to the clearing where Cole
and Ree are talking with Braxton.
No
Scot?

“Damn,”
I mutter to myself, but of course Haden hears.

“Maybe
he’s coming later,” he reasons.

I
let go of Haden’s hand and walk over to say hello to everyone else. We all
brought chairs, and I sent Cole out with a cooler of drinks and snack foods.
None of us want to be going back and forth all night long.

“Nice
fire,” I say, looking at the small fire pit near Braxton. “Whose handiwork is
this?”

“That
would be mine,” a voice calls out from behind us. Braxton grins and nods once
at me, answering my unasked question.

“You
must be Scot.” I walk over to introduce myself. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“And
you must be
the
Laila I’ve heard
about.” He looks at my hand and smirks before pushing it aside to hug me. “Glad
to finally meet you.”

“So
then you’ve already met Cole and Ree?”

He
nods and Braxton walks over to stand next to him.

“This
is Haden,” Braxton motions, “and this is Joey and his girlfriend Bailey.”

Everyone
stands around and gets to know Scot, who we learn is finishing up his first
year of college and he’s planning to study graphic design. He’s originally from
Ohio, but moved to Texas his senior year of high school to live with his mom.
He doesn’t seem to want to talk about that too much, so we finally settle into
light conversation about everyday things.

“Did
you write your essay yet?” Joey asks me, throwing me to the center of
attention.

“Not
yet,” I admit.

He
gives me the look that says he gets why based on our conversation, but I choose
to ignore it.

“I
have the applications filled out, but no essay. What about you?”

He
cocks his head to the side. “Really? How long have you known me? Of course it’s
done—all I have to do is mail them out.”

Everyone
nods in agreement—even Haden—and I feel like the idiot of the
bunch.