Finding London (Flawed Heart #1) (28 page)

“What’d you tell him?”

“That I’d be home in an hour.”

“Why an hour?”

“So, we can shower first.” He raises a brow.

I throw a pillow at him as I get up. “Hell no. I need a reprieve. I’m going to shower without you.”

“That’s no fun,” he protests. “Fine, we shower together, and I’ll promise to keep my hands to myself.”

“You’d better.” I accusingly point at him. “I’m serious. Shower only.”

He gets out of bed. “You can trust me.”

I huff out a laugh. “That’s what you said the last time.”

“Well, last time, I was lying.” He walks past me into the bathroom in all his naked glory.

I check out his ass some as he passes because, damn, it’s delicious.

“So, you’re not lying this time?” I yell into the bathroom over the sound of the running water.

“Get your ass in here, London. We only have an hour. We wouldn’t want to be late.”

“I hate you.” I giggle as I step into the shower.

“I thought we were working on that flaw?” he asks before his wet hands take my face between them and pull my lips to his.

It’s a glorious fall day, simply beautiful. The sun is shining, casting its warm glow on the trees. The leaves are still on the branches, but they’ve started to change into a kaleidoscope of autumn colors. The breeze blowing through the open windows of Loïc’s truck is warm and soothing as it glides across my skin.

It’s a magnificent day, and I’m incredibly in love. I wonder if I will see the upcoming cold winter differently under my new state of mind. For some reason, I doubt it. Love can only tint my vision so much.

We turn onto Loïc’s street almost exactly an hour after he told Cooper he would be there. My entire body hums with giddy excitement to meet Maggie. I know Loïc doesn’t let many people in, so the fact that he’s so close to Maggie means that she must be a pretty amazing person. I know Cooper is. I hope she likes me.

Who am I kidding? Of course she’ll love me.
We’ll become great friends, and then the four of us can double date all the time. It’ll be perfect.

As Loïc’s truck slows, he says, “What the fuck?” under his breath.

I turn to ask him what’s wrong, but I stop myself. His entire body is shaking, vibrating with a deep emotion that I can’t yet decipher.

“Holy shit. Oh my God. Oh my God,” he chants. His knuckles are ghost white as they clutch the steering wheel.

My chest pounds with fear—of what, I’m not sure. But seeing Loïc this shaken is worrying me.

“It can’t be. Holy shit,” he whispers to himself, tears now falling from his face.

“What is it, Loïc? What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t hear me. Instead, he parks the truck with a jerk. His breaths are short and rapid as his chest rises and falls while his tears fall onto his T-shirt.

I finally pull my attention from Loïc and follow his gaze to the front of his house where a girl is sitting on his porch steps. I can’t see the details of her face, but from here, she looks like a Victoria’s Secret model. She seems tall and looks very thin with long, wavy blonde hair.

Loïc is out of the truck before I can even process what’s happening. He runs to her as she lunges toward him with equal fervor. He says something, but I can’t make it out. I quickly exit the truck and watch as she jumps into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. The two of them bury their faces in each other’s neck and cry.

I watch, mesmerized, as their bodies convulse with sobs, each holding on to the other with such passion and commitment. Their arms strain to pull the other in tighter. The sounds of their cries truly break my heart, and I realize that I, too, am crying.

I pull my eyes off of Loïc and the blonde to find Cooper and Maggie on the porch. Cooper has his arm around Maggie as she leans into him, tears rolling down her cheeks. Cooper raises his free hand to wipe the corner of his eye.

My attention falls back to Loïc and the display of utter heartbreak and joy before me. The reunion between them seems so sacred that I feel like I should go somewhere else to give them privacy. Not only do I not have anywhere to go, but I also can’t turn away.

The five of us stay like this for what feels like an hour before Loïc finally releases his death grip on the blonde and starts peppering kisses all over her face. She untangles her legs and lets them fall back to the ground. The two of them stand with their foreheads together. They’re whispering to each other while his hands hold her upper arms, and hers are wrapped around his waist.

Finally, Loïc takes a step back, and I can see the moment when he remembers that I’m here. His body tightens, and his head turns in my direction. His glistening eyes meet mine, and he smiles weakly. He reaches his hand out toward me, inviting me forward. I close the distance between us and put my hand in his outstretched one.

He squeezes my hand in his before addressing me, “This is my Sarah.”

Sarah?
I’m sure my eyes go wide when I say, “Sarah?” in complete amazement.

“Yeah, Sarah,” he repeats, his voice equally astonished.

He turns his attention toward her. “Sarah, this is my girlfriend, London.”

She smiles at me, and I return it with one of my own.

“London?” Her brows go up in question as she and Loïc exchange a look.

He chuckles. “I know. What are the odds, right? We have a lot to talk about.”

Well, if that isn’t the understatement of the year.

Loïc

“Hope is the building block for miracles, but it is also the catalyst for disappointment, depending on which way the coin falls.”

—Loïc Berkeley

It’s impossible for me to wrap my mind around my reality at the current moment.

This is reality, right? Not some sick dream designed to completely destroy me?

This is real.

I grasp Sarah’s soft skin in my left hand, and her fingers entwine with mine. She squeezes back.

She’s here. She’s alive.

She’s here. She’s alive.

I repeat these thoughts over and over in my head. It’s still unbelievable. I don’t know how one should respond when someone he loves comes back from the dead, but I’m sure I could be handling it better. I’m one gigantic mess right now.

Driving toward my house minutes ago, I knew it was Sarah before I could even make out her features. The curve of her body and her posture as she sat on my porch steps was so familiar, even from a distance. For the past eight years, I’ve had all the infinitesimal details that made Sarah who she was running through my mind on repeat. Much like I do with my parents and my dad’s stories, I would play the two years that I spent with Sarah over in my mind until each memory was so ingrained in my brain that I could never forget it.

When one loses someone he loves and all that’s left are memories, one makes damn sure he will never forget any of the details, not one. So, I remembered her every single day. I might not have broadcasted my thoughts to the world or even to my one confidant, Cooper, but they were always there for me, in my mind, where I would have mourned her forever.

But, now, she’s here—alive, breathing, real.

It’s the most amazing moment in my life, and at the same time, it’s the worst. Thoughts of the past eight years plague me.

Where’s she been? What’s she been doing? Has she been sad? Alone?

I haven’t been there for her. I left her alone when she was so broken. I shudder as I try to imagine what our time apart has been like for her. I need to get her by herself, so we can talk. There is so much to say, so many questions to ask. More than anything, I just want to hold her and allow her presence to fill me up because, despite getting her back, I feel so lost. My world has been completely thrown off its axis, and I need to find my new normal. I’m off-kilter, and that isn’t a good place for me to be.

I’m reminded of London when I feel her small hand in my right one.

The three of us walk toward the house.

I’m literally holding my past in one hand and my present in the other, and the three of us are on a path to…
where? My new future?
I haven’t a clue. Of course, I’m not certain of much right about now. My mind’s a jumbled mess of confusion.

Cooper holds the door open for us, and we step inside. I release the two hands I was holding and wipe my sweaty palms against my jeans before bringing them to the base of my neck.

I’m mildly aware of the introductions happening as Cooper introduces Maggie to London. I make my way to the kitchen and fill a glass with water before chugging it down. I set the empty glass on the counter and turn to find Sarah behind me.

“I’m sorry. It’s a lot. I should have probably warned you before showing up.”

“No…it’s fine. I mean, yeah, it’s a lot”—I grin—“but never apologize. This is like a dream come true for me. I just need a moment to process it, is all. Don’t apologize, Sarah.” I let out a large breath. “Come here.” I pull her against my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I hug her tight. I’m still so amazed that I’m standing here, embracing her, my Sarah.

I close my eyes and relish in the sensation of having Sarah in my arms. We stand like this as my mind continues to try to wrap itself around this new reality. It’s like I need to keep touching her to reassure myself that she’s really here. It’s so surreal.

I open my eyes when I sense the presence of others. Cooper, Maggie, and London stand at the entrance of the kitchen. They all wear odd expressions. A mixture of happiness, confusion, and unease grace their faces. I want to laugh because this entire ordeal really is strange. It’s not like someone who was presumed dead shows up on my doorstep every day.

Cooper—gotta love him—breaks the awkward silence first. He has this innate gift to know what others need, and right now, we need some lightheartedness to break up this intense atmosphere. “So, I’m sure you two have tons to talk about, given the fact that you thought she was dead when you woke up this morning—and every other morning for the past eight years, for that matter. Do you two need time to talk? Do you want us to take London back for you?”

“Oh, that would be great, Coops. Thanks.” I turn my attention to Sarah. “Can you give me a minute?”

“Of course.” She grins up at me. Her big blue eyes shine bright with joy and something that I’ve never seen in them before—peace.

She looks the same as she did when she was sixteen but completely different at the same time. She’s healthier and happier now, which makes her even more beautiful.

I walk over to London and take her hand in mine as we exit the house. Maggie and Cooper get in his car. They close the doors behind them, leaving London and me alone outside Cooper’s vehicle.

We stand, facing each other.

“Are you okay?” she asks, concern etched across her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I admit. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

“Are we okay?” Her voice cracks with emotion.

I’m momentarily taken aback. “Yes, of course we are. Why do you ask?”

“I just wanted to make sure,” she answers softly.

“London, we’re fine. We’re great. Okay?”

She nods, but her brown eyes still hold concern.

“Look, I know this day is ending on a weird note. I guess I never really told Cooper that I was bringing you with me when I texted him earlier. I’m sure, had he known, he would have told me not to. Not because I don’t want you here, but obviously, I have a lot of catching up to do with Sarah. So, I’m sorry our evening is being cut short. But we’re good, okay?”

“All right.” She nods before turning to open the car door.

“Hey”—I grab her wrist and turn her until she’s facing me—“I love you.” I give her a quick kiss. “I’ll call you.”

“Love you, too.” She gives me a weak smile before getting into the backseat of the car.

I watch as Cooper’s car backs out of the drive, and then I head back into the house.

I find Sarah where I left her in the kitchen, and now that we’re alone, I’m overcome with another round of unbelievable happiness.

I take her face between my hands and kiss her forehead. “God, I can’t believe this. Is this real?” I shout with what I’m sure is a crazy grin on my face.

Sarah giggles before wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’ve missed you so much.”