Finding London (Flawed Heart #1) (35 page)

I shake my head. “I’m torn. I don’t know.”

“Okay, give me your options, and we’ll go over the pros and cons of each.”

Giggling, I begin to tell him my meal choices, and so begins our twenty-minute conversation on what I should order. As I said, we can talk about anything.

Tilting my head to the side, I peer into the full-length mirror adorning the bathroom wall and take in my appearance. My black dress is long and tight, accentuating every curve of my body. The front dips just enough to display my very average cleavage in an attractive manner. I rotate to the side to catch a glimpse of the back of my dress, and my pale skin reflects back at me. The dark silky fabric falls from my shoulders, leaving almost the entirety of my back exposed, and ends in a swooping fashion at the base of my spine, seemingly millimeters from the crack of my rear.

I can see my cheeks getting pink as I wrap my head around the fact that I’m going out in this dress. The dress is sexy, simple as that, yet that term
sexy
in itself is not one that I would use to describe myself. Normally, I might use pretty, athletic, and maybe a bit plain. But sexy? No.

I went dress shopping with Kristyn, and she about squealed herself into a frenzy when I tried on this dress. She all but insisted I get it. I decided to be bold and go for it, but now, I’m having second thoughts.

A small chuckle escapes from my glossy lips as I remember my parents’ reactions to this dress. I tried it on for them when I got home from shopping. As I twirled, showing off my prom dress, they both sat stoically on the living room sofa. My dad’s mouth was held shut in a tight line, and his big blue eyes bulged from their sockets. My mom had on her classic nice face, the one she gives someone from town when she doesn’t agree with what the person is saying but doesn’t want to be rude. Her unmoving expression, although containing a smile, wasn’t one of authentic approval. Yet they didn’t say anything negative about it, and I still don’t know why. From a parent’s perspective, this dress is a little intense.

As I breathe deeply, working to bring my cheeks back to their normal color, I can now admit to myself that this dress isn’t me. But at the same time, why not? It’s gorgeous, and I feel beautiful in it.

“Doesn’t she look so pretty?” Keeley beams as she faces her iPhone my way.

I can see Amy on the screen, her mouth wide in a smile.

“Yes, she does.” Her voice comes over the phone’s speaker. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it home for your first prom, Lil.”

“It’s fine, Amy, really.” I take the phone from Keeley and blow a kiss toward the screen.

I wish my big sister could have been here as well, but I understand. She had to take incompletes in her classes at the University of Michigan this past semester due to a vicious bout with mono. So, she has had to stay up at school for a few weeks longer to finish all her coursework. If she can’t be here, FaceTime is the next best thing.

“Are you excited to go with
Jax
?” She enunciates all the letters in Jax’s name, like it contains four As instead of the one it has.

I look to the screen, taking note of her raised eyebrow. “Why do you say it like that?”

“Oh, no reason,” she answers in a singsong voice. “I bet he will look hot, all dressed up in his tux.”

Of course he will. “Um, yeah, obviously,” I answer, shaking my head.

Jax is always gorgeous. I’ve seen him in a tux several times before, and he definitely hasn’t disappointed in that attire either. This is Jax’s third prom. Older girls asked him to their proms during his freshman and sophomore year. This is my first one, and I’m so happy that Jax is currently without a girlfriend. There is no one I would rather experience prom with than my best friend.

My mom walks into the bathroom where I currently have primping materials strewed about the granite countertop. “Lily, honey, Kristyn and her parents just pulled in.” My mom stops next to me and runs her hand down the length of my arm before gently squeezing my wrist. “Oh, honey, you are so beautiful.”

I lean in for a hug. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Hi, Mom!” Amy yells from behind my mother’s back where the phone still rests in my hand.

We all chuckle, and after I release the embrace, I hand the phone back to Keeley.

Sucking my tummy in, I bend at the waist to buckle my heels. The material clinging to my body is making it a more strenuous task than normal. Once my shoes are on, I grab my clutch from the counter and take one last look in the mirror before following my mom and sister out of my room.

I skip down the carpeted stairs to the kitchen—as best as one can skip in three-inch heels. I stop at the mirror at the bottom of the steps and apply another thin layer of pink lip gloss for good measure. I head out the back sliding glass door to the deck where a group of friends and their parents have started to congregate.

Shielding my eyes from the warm May sun, I scan the small crowd. Everyone is here but Jax and his parents.

“Lily!” Kristyn calls.

She approaches me in a poufy princess-esque dress made of coral satin material with gold embellishments on the skirt. She looks stunning with her long brown hair curled into ringlets and pinned together in an elegant side ponytail resting over her shoulder. She is wearing more eye makeup than I’ve ever seen her wear. The gold metallic hues decorating her lids make her big brown eyes seem even larger. She really does look like a princess.

“Kristyn, you truly look amazing.” I examine her from head to feet once more.

She blushes. “Thanks. You, too.”

Ben, Kristyn’s boyfriend, walks up and wraps his arm around her middle. “I told her the same thing.” He stares down at her with a look of appreciation. “Gorgeous.”

She playfully hits him on the chest. “Stop it.” Turning to me, she says, “So, what did we decide on for dinner? Red Robin?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I nod my head. “They do have the best food ever.” I’m a huge fan of their fries dipped in ranch.

“I agree,” she answers.

Kristyn and I are taking some group selfies with the other girls when Susie’s enthusiastic voice cuts through the yard, and I turn to see Jax’s mom speaking to my own.

A huge smile graces my face when I see Jax standing across the lawn, his eyes fixed on me. A sigh escapes my mouth as my eyes devour him. My friend is so beautiful. It’s true. I totally think it is acceptable to call a guy beautiful, especially if that guy is Jax Porter, because, holy heck, he is.

I begin walking across the grass toward him, my steps a giddy bounce. We meet in the middle, and he wraps his strong arms around me, pulling me close. He smells like Jax, and there are no words to describe that smell, other than intoxicating.

His hold on me lingers. Loosening his grasp slightly, he scans my body from my heels to my face. His tongue darts out to lick his lips. “You look beautiful, Lil.” His deep voice penetrates my skin, causing goose bumps to appear.

“You, too. Well, handsome, I mean. You look very handsome.” Okay, so you can’t call a guy beautiful to his face.

“Thanks, Little.” Jax’s full lips form a grin as he looks down at me.

Something in his expression is different, almost hesitant.

“Smile!” My mom beams, touching her iPhone screen.

We turn toward the rapid-fire clicking of the phone with my mom’s bright expression peeking out from behind her pink case. Jax’s arms retreat from behind my back and squeeze gently at my arms before he releases me.

After a plethora of pictures, we all hop into the limo to take us to dinner. Everyone chats excitedly at the restaurant as we wait for our food, except for Jax. He is quiet, and it’s an odd change from his normal exuberance.

My knee brushes his, and I squeeze his forearm. “You okay?”

His gaze meets mine, and I see a multitude of emotions in his stare.

I wonder if something happened before he came to my house earlier. Sometimes, Jax gets in quiet moods, and they are usually a result of an argument with his dad. Mr. Porter is a good man, but he is tough on his boys. He wants Landon and Jax to be the very best at everything, and he doesn’t ever seem quite happy with their many accomplishments. It’s never enough for him, and it is so infuriating.

As I hold on to Jax’s arm, I get the sense that his mood isn’t a result of a confrontation with his father. Something is off, but I’m not sure what it is.

He lowers his head and kisses my forehead. “I’m good.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he replies.

The waitress sets my burger down in front of me. I scan the delectable contents of my plate, noticing that she forgot my ranch. I can’t eat Red Robin fries without their heavenly ranch. I open my mouth to ask her for some, but before I get the first word out, Jax has placed his plastic cup of ranch on my plate.

Closing my mouth, I turn my face in his direction, and I’m greeted with a wink. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Throughout dinner, Jax’s temperament morphs back into something resembling his usual demeanor. I catch him directing a few thoughtful glances my way through his bites of burger. But other than that, he seems more like himself. He talks and jokes with the rest of the group sitting around our table.

Walking into the reception hall of the hotel is a fun experience. I’ve been to many fancy dinners with Jax and his family through their connections in the business world, but prom is different. It could be the overabundance of balloon usage. Giant balloon arches cocoon the dance floor in the center of the room. Large bundles of balloons sit in every corner along with some smaller balloon arches scattered about, which I’m assuming are backdrops for photos. The prom theme this year is
The Wizard of Oz
, and I smile as I walk on the glittery yellow brick paper road leading to the dance floor. Off to the side is a large sparkly red shoe, and I see some girls sitting in it for a photo op.

I grab Jax’s hand. “Oh! Let’s get our picture in the shoe! Kristyn, can you take it for us?”

“Of course,” she answers.

We make our way to the shoe and wait for our turn to hop in it. When the girls in front of us finish all their selfies, Jax and I climb in. He sits behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. I lean back into him as I smile big, holding his hands resting on my stomach.

I pivot around so that I can see his face. “Thanks for bringing me to prom, Jax.”

A small grin spreads across his face. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, Lil.”

We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before Kristyn’s voice breaks through my happy haze. “Can you take ours now?”

I clear my throat. “Um…yeah, sure.”

The pounding rhythm of the music pours through the speakers, and I’m all smiles as I dance with Kristyn and some other girlfriends under the giant balloon arches. I look toward our table to find Jax’s gaze on me. He lowers his stare, swirling a bit of red punch in the plastic tumbler. I watch as he continues to glare at the remaining punch at the bottom of his glass, deep in concentration. Something is definitely off with him tonight.

Is he upset that he’s not here with a girlfriend?

He broke up with his last girlfriend about a month ago, which gave him plenty of time to find another girl to date. But he didn’t.

No, that couldn’t be it anyway.
He was sincere earlier when he said he was glad to be here with me.

So, what is it?
He is acting strange, and that’s worrisome.

I tell my friends that I will be back, and then I make my way over to him.

“Let’s dance!” I reach down, take his hand in mine, and pull. “Come on. You love dancing. Why are you being a stick in the mud?”

Jax chuckles and takes my hand, following me onto the dance floor. The troubled expression on his face melts away as we move to the music.

I squeal softly in excitement as the thumping loud beat changes to the soft melody of my new favorite slow song that has been getting a lot of airtime on satellite radio.

“It’s my song, Jax.” I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I know, Lil. I’m with you every day, and you freak out each time it is played.” He circles his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.

“I do not freak out.”

“Uh, yes…yes, you do.”

I chuckle. “Fine, maybe a little. But can you blame me?”

Jax’s warm hands rest against my skin exposed from the low swoop of my dress, causing a heated shiver to run up my spine. I am cognizant of everything about him as I lean my head against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat through the smooth fabric of his dress shirt, and that simple sound causes butterflies to flutter in my belly.

Apparently, Jax isn’t the only one who is acting odd tonight. I’m aware of my issues this evening, and they are all centered around my body’s reaction to this hottie who I’m currently pressed against. I’m not blind to his good looks and charm. I spend more time with him than anyone, so if anyone knows how wonderful he is, it is me. Yet I’ve never been so
aware
of…him. I’m always conscious of the attractive qualities in Jax, but I’m usually able to push it out of my head.

But tonight?

Tonight, I can barely breathe correctly with his arms around me, and it is maddening.