Finding London (Flawed Heart #1) (34 page)

Jax has been the varsity starting quarterback since last year. It is unusual for a sophomore to start on varsity, especially as the quarterback, but when it comes to Jax, I’m not surprised. He is naturally talented at most things. He gets great grades with minimal effort and has excelled at every sport he’s attempted.

“How is Jax feeling about the game?” Kristyn asks.

“Good. I think he is confident that we’ll win tonight.”

I focus on his arm muscles as they flex with every throw. He truly is a hot specimen, and I can totally understand why every girl here—and from the surrounding schools, for that matter—is all gaga over him.

“Well, the other team is undefeated so far this season,” Kristyn notes.

“Yeah, so are we. I’m not worried.”

My leg is forcefully pushed to the side, and I pull it back and look up to see Maeve, Jax’s current girlfriend, walking in front of me.

“Oh, I’m sorry,
Lily
,” Maeve says with a voice that shows anything but. She puts emphasis on my name, and it sounds vile coming from her mouth.

I grin reluctantly, acknowledging her pseudo-apology, and wrap my arms around my shins, holding my legs out of harm’s way, while she and her posse continue their way across the row to the seats at the end.

Kristyn leans over and whispers in my ear, “Have you told Jax about her yet?”

I shake my head, indicating that I haven’t.

“Why not? He would never be with her if he knew she was such a bitch to you.”

I turn toward Kristyn. “He will figure it out on his own. He always does,” I say in a low voice.

“No, you should really tell him, Lily.”

“There will always be bitches in this world, Kristyn. They don’t bother me too much. I just ignore them.” I shrug.

“Promise me, if she ever crosses the line, you will tell him.” Her voice is heavy with concern.

“I promise.” But as I say it, I know that it will never come to that.

Jax will discover Maeve’s true character before I have to say anything. I didn’t know Maeve much before she and Jax started dating about a month ago. She is a senior, and we didn’t have too much contact with each other prior to this year. I’m not surprised that she is rude to me. Many of his girlfriends in the past have been as well. They always start out cool, but I think jealousy eventually kicks in when they realize how close he and I actually are, and then the claws come out. Jealousy really isn’t attractive on anyone.

It seems that Jax has had a girlfriend of some sort pretty much since seventh grade, but I will say that it hasn’t affected our relationship too much. Our friendship is solid, and he puts me first. It’s not like I’ve asked him to choose between his girlfriend and me because I haven’t, and I would never ask him to. He values our friendship and always makes time for us. As soon as he notices a girl’s jealousness or rudeness toward me, he ends the relationship without a second thought.

The game is exhilarating the entire way through. The two teams go back and forth, but we come out a touchdown ahead. I love watching Jax in his element, and I’m so proud of him. The guys are going wild on the field, raising their fists in triumph.

I’m happy we won, especially because having to hang out with the guys tonight after a loss would have been a complete downer. There is a big bonfire in a secluded field on a classmate’s property. Those of us from small town Michigan might not be known for much, but we have sweet-ass bonfires.

I watch as the players exit the field and head toward the doors leading to the locker room. Jax breaks away from the line of rowdy football players and jogs toward me. I stand and leave the bleachers, followed by Kristyn. I weave my way through the celebration to meet him halfway.

He pulls me into a sweaty hug, squeezing me with a fierce intensity.

“Great game!” I congratulate him.

“Thanks! Wait for me, and you can ride with me to the field.” He pulls away and locks me in his intense stare.

“It’s okay. I’m going to catch a ride with Kristyn. I will meet you there.”

He skeptically looks at me. “Are you sure?”

I smile. “Yes, I’m sure. I will see you there, okay?”

He pauses for a moment. “Okay.”

“Good game. Seriously, I’m so proud of you, Jax.”

“Thanks, Little. See you soon.” He uses his personal nickname for me.

It stems from when he was a toddler. He thought my mom was calling me Little when she was saying Lil, and it has stuck. I used to hate it when I was younger, but I love it now.

I hear the shrill tone of Maeve’s voice calling out Jax’s name behind me, and I give Kristyn a subtle look. We leave Jax and make our way toward the parking lot.

I bounce off the seat in the cab of Kristyn’s pickup truck as we careen down the bumpy path to the field. As we get closer, I see the huge fire already well ablaze. Logs and bales of hay are positioned around the fire, forming a circle around the flames. Another larger ring of hay bales is around the first one, creating two seating areas facing the bonfire. Poles are positioned in equal distances from each other between the two circles. Little white Christmas lights are strung from one pole to the next, surrounding the seating areas in a blanket of soft white light. Beyond the twinkling lights are the outskirts of the field surrounded by dark woods. Music is pounding with deep bass coming from the speakers positioned in the back of someone’s rusty Ford F-150.

After we park in the line of cars at the edge of the woods, we head toward the fire.

“It’s going to be a crazy one with that win tonight,” Kristyn says.

“Yeah, I figure it will be.” I scan over the crowd of my schoolmates already congregating with red Solo cups in their hands. “Do you want to find the keg? I can drive you home if you want to drink.”

I’m not much of a beer fan. I know they say it is an acquired taste, but I don’t think I will ever acquire it. It tastes bitter and dreadful to me.

“No, I’m good. I don’t feel like drinking tonight,” she responds.

“Yeah, me neither, especially something that tastes like pee.” I scrunch up my nose.

She giggles. “Exactly.”

I hear my name and turn to find Alden heading in our direction.

Alden is a great guy. We have several classes together. His grandfather owns this land that we are on. He has been increasingly friendly with me lately, and I get the impression that he likes me. I’m not a very good judge of that sort of thing though. I haven’t ever had a boyfriend, but I admit that I haven’t put any effort into getting one. My life is pretty full with my family activities, studying, my friends, and Jax. Unlike Jax, I actually have to study hard for my good grades. It’s only the fall of my junior year, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on the high school relationship deal yet. I have time.

Alden closes the gap between us and hugs me. He releases me before pulling Kristyn into one. Letting go of Kristyn, he turns to me, “So glad you could make it. Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, we’re good. Thanks though.” I smile up at him, and I take note of how close we are standing.

I bet I could feel his breath against my face if I leaned in a fraction more. I am terrified to do so. It probably smells like beer or something else unappealing. It’s better to imagine it in a positive light.

I’m spoiled with Jax. He is the only guy my age who gets this close to me, and he always smells wonderful. I know it sounds cliché, but he really is walking perfection. Any guy I date is going to have big shoes to fill. Jax and I aren’t like that, but I know I will inadvertently compare everyone to him. He is what I know.

“Come on. A group of us are over there.” Alden nods toward the seating area.

“Sure,” I agree.

He places his hand against the small of my back and leads me to the warmth of the crackling flames. We are making our way around the fire and in the direction of the bales he indicated when I hear Jax.

“Lil!”

I stop walking and pivot on one foot in the direction from where we just came. I’m met by Jax’s open arms as he pulls me into a hug.

“Have you been here long?”

“No, we actually just got here,” I reply.

“Oh, good. Hey, I have to go talk to Paul. You coming?”

“Um, sure. Just let me…” I look behind me to speak to Alden, but he is no longer there.

My eyes skim the faces congregated around the fire, all cast in a warm golden hue, and I spot him on the opposite side of us, speaking with some friends. He raises his head to meet my stare and smiles shyly, giving me an upward nod, before returning to his conversation.

“Okay, never mind. Let’s go.”

Kristyn and I hang out with Jax and most of the football team for the majority of the night.

Maeve showed up shortly after Jax, and she has been draped all over him ever since. She really does annoy me to no end. It’s not jealousy I feel but simple irritation with her obnoxious behavior.

I contemplate expanding my social circle, and I go to talk to others, but I don’t venture too far away from Jax. I never do. Maybe it is the fact that he has been close to me from the moment he was born, but I feel unsettled when I’m too far away from him.

As the night wears on, the gathering thins, and the random groups of people sporadically positioned around the fire come together to become one single crowd.

“Hey.”

I hear Alden’s voice at the same time I feel his hand on my arm. I turn to him. His eyelids appear heavy as if he is concentrating on keeping them open.

I chuckle as he sways. “How’s the beer?” I ask, motioning to the red cup full of sloshing liquid in his hand.

“Good! Can I get you some?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m still good. Thanks.”

Letting go of my arm, he lifts his free hand and takes a strand of my hair in his fingers. He studies it before he tucks it behind my ear. Despite his obvious inebriated state, the gesture is sweet, and I’m mesmerized as I watch him take in my face.

“You’re so pretty, Lily.”

“Alden.”

Jax’s voice comes from behind me, and I jump, startled. The trance that drunken sweet Alden had me under is shattered.

“Oh, hey, man,” Alden addresses Jax. “See ya, Lil.” He smiles weakly before he turns to someone beside me and starts up a conversation.

I take a few steps away from Alden before addressing Jax, “What was that all about?”

“What?” he asks innocently.

“Um…that”—I motion to Alden—“thing between you and him. You ran him off.”

Jax nods. “He was hitting on you.”

My eyebrows rise. “So?”

He shrugs. “He’s not good enough for you.”

I sigh. “That’s what you say about every guy. Alden’s really nice.”

“He’s drunk,” Jax says matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, and so are most of the people here. Who cares?”

“I do.”

“You have to stop scaring away every guy who wants to talk to me. You’re worse than my dad.”

Jax feigns innocence. “I only do that to the ones who aren’t worth your time.”

I scrunch my lips into a pout and look up to Jax in annoyance before answering, “Apparently, that is every boy in our high school.”

“Basically, yeah,” he agrees. “Don’t be mad.” He pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.

“I’m not. It would be nice to expand my friendship circle, is all. You can’t always be around, Jax.”

“For you, Lily, I can. I’m always here for you. You know that.” He kisses me again on top of my head before he is yanked away.

“Jax! I miss you,” Maeve whines. She has become increasingly drunk as the night has progressed, as evident by her speech morphing into one long slurred mess and the decibel of her voice passing the point of obnoxiously loud.

Vomit explodes from Maeve’s mouth onto the grass in front of his feet.

“Whoa!” Jax yells, jumping back. “Damn!” He makes his way behind Maeve to steady her as she expels everything from her stomach.

Becca, Maeve’s best friend, steps beside Jax. “Seriously?” I hear the annoyance in her voice. “I will take her home.”

Becca glares at the now dry-heaving mess. Maeve is bent over with her arms propped on her knees as she coughs toward the ground.

“Are you sure?” Jax asks, appearing concerned.

I know that he is trying to camouflage his relief.

Becca wraps her arms around Maeve’s waist. “Yeah, I got her. It’s fine.” She leads Maeve toward the line of vehicles parked up against the tree line.

I turn to Kristyn. She is smirking in the direction of the retreating girls. She briefly shakes her head and then steps closer to me.

“I think I’m actually going to get going, too. Do you want me to take you home?” she asks.

Before I can answer, Jax says from behind me, “I got her. Thanks, Kristyn.”

We say our good-byes, and I turn toward Jax.

“So, is it going to be refrigerator exploration or Denny’s?” he asks, leaning in close to my face.

When we are together on weekend nights, we usually hang out and have a late-night meal. We either hunt through the refrigerator at one of our homes to see what yummy leftovers await, or we drive thirty minutes to the next town where a Denny’s is open twenty-four hours.

“I think it is a Denny’s kind of night.”

He flashes me his all-American boy smile. “I agree. Let’s get out of here.”

Grabbing my cell from my back pocket, I shoot my mom a text, letting her know I’m going to eat with Jax and will be home late. As long as I’m with Jax and keep her posted on our plans, I don’t have a curfew. She adores him and completely trusts him.

I love our late-night dinner dates. Jax and I spend a lot of time together, but the older we get, the less uninterrupted quality time we have. We can spend hours talking and laughing at Denny’s, and we have many times. We never run out of things to say. He is my favorite person in this world to be with.

Now, the only question is, what am I going to order tonight? I’m always so indecisive. I could go with sweet and get French toast or savory and get a burrito. Or I could do something different altogether.

“So, what are you in the mood for tonight?” Jax asks in an amused tone.

I chuckle. I swear, he can read my mind sometimes.