Finding My Pack (4 page)

T
ristan's eyes widen and he moves back from me. I look at my lap again. I knew that would happen. It still stings, though. Tears stream down my face. I curse them, I hate crying in front of people.

  "I didn't mean to," I whisper. Tristan walks away, I don't watch where he goes. Kellan tries to take my hand again. This time, I don't let him. I don't deserve to have him comfort me.

  The room is completely silent. Only my occasional sniffles providing sound. After what seems like forever, Remy speaks again. "Start from the beginning Kitten, tell us what happened on Tuesday." I take a breath, pick a spot on the wall beside Remy and begin.

  "Are you familiar with the Crate District off of West Fifth? Where all the abandoned warehouses are?" I ask but continue without waiting for an answer. "Well, I live in the third one right off the main road. I was tired after I worked a double shift. I try to work only at night so I can sleep during the day, but I couldn't pass up the money. It was getting late, but I thought it might be fine if I was there, so long as I stayed awake. I was reading my book, and..." I pause, trying not to let the memories overtake me.

  "Go on Kitten," Reed says next to me. He sounds sad, staring down at his notebook. Picking at the edges.

  "I fell asleep. I woke up choking, a hand around my throat. I scratched him and was able to run, but I wasn't fast enough. He got me back to the ground. He kept hold of my hair and started hitting me, punching my thighs to try and open them. When that didn't work he hit me across the face and punched my chest."

  I remember laying there curled up in a ball, thinking I was going to die, hoping I would before he got what he wanted. My breathing picks up and I'm trying my hardest to hold it together. I close my eyes and breathe like Kellan showed me earlier.

  "He started kicking me. In my back and my sides. Yelling at me. Saying that it didn't have to be like this. That if I just laid there he wouldn't have to kill me. He tried to kick me in the face, but I caught his foot and rolled, pulling him down. I saw a brick next to me..." I choke out a sob, covering my face with my hands.

   I wipe away more tears and continue, not opening my eyes this time. “I...hit him. He was on his back and I....I-I hit him as hard as I could. Then I hit him again. I smashed the brick into his forehead the second time. He stopped moving so I got up and ran as fast as I could. I ran to the lights." I finish and double over, crying so hard it hurts my whole body. I know it makes me look weak, but I don't care. I am. I wasn't smart enough or fast enough or strong enough. Sure, I got away, but at what cost?

  A hand is on my back now, rubbing up and down. A different hand is massaging my head. Someone pries my hands away from my face and guides me to sit up.

  Remy is in front of me. He reaches out and runs his thumb over the crest of my cheek. "Kitten...that wasn't your fault. It was self-defense. You have nothing to feel bad about. I'm so..." His voice cracks and he clears his throat, “I’m so sorry that happened to you."

   His words calm me enough to stop my sobbing. I inhale and exhale shakily. Remy stands and gives Kellan a pointed look. The hand massaging my head falls away as Kellan follows Remy out of the room. Logan comes over and pulls me to stand.

  "Let's get you some water, okay?" Logan's eyes are shiny and his amazingly groomed hair from earlier looks disheveled like he's been running his hands through it. The bright blue streak is flipped over onto the other side of his head now.

  "Uh…Logan." I whisper, my throat feeling raw.

  "Yeah?"

  "Your hair looks like crap," I say giving him a smile.

  He busts out laughing, wrapping an arm around my back, and pressing his lips into my hair. The tension drains from the room as the other guys laugh too. Logan pulls back, hooking our fingers together and leads me back to the kitchen for a glass of water. Finn sits next to me and presses his side into mine slightly. He doesn't say anything, though. Won’t even meet my eyes.

  "How are you feeling Kitten?" Kellan asks.

  "To be honest I'm pretty tired. How is that possible when I slept for several days?"

  Kellan's lips lift a little, "You were severely dehydrated when I first saw you. I gave you fluids through an IV so you should be a bit better. Dehydration makes you tired, though. You also had a fever, which can leave you feeling drained. You should probably go rest for a while."

I blink at him. "You guys aren't making me leave now that you know..."

His hand comes up to cup my face with his warm fingers. "No, we'd really like if you stayed." I'm sure my confusion shows on my face, but I really am tired.

  "Would you like me to give you something for the pain?" He offers sweetly.

I shake my head. "No, no drugs, ever". I don't care how crazy I sound. I've lived on the street; I know how easy addiction can get its claws in you. I've seen the monster it turns people into. I've also always had a secret fear that my mother was an addict. If that's true then I might already be an addict.

  Kellan looks a little surprised and I don't know how I feel about that. Did he think I was a druggie? "Just some ibuprofen then, hmm?"

  "That would be nice."

  "Good," he says, walking to a cabinet and shaking out two pills, bringing them to me. I take a sip of water and swallow them down.

  "Thank you," I whisper.

  "You can use my room, Kitten," Reed says quietly. He still looks sad but tries to smile at me anyways.

   I nod my head, following him down the hallway to the stairs. How in the world did I forget about the stairs? "No wonder you're all so in shape," I mutter to myself.

   Reed's lips tilt up at the corners so he must have heard me anyway. Once we reach the top of the never-ending stairs we head in the opposite direction of Tristan's room. Reed opens the door and it's like walking into a cloud. Everything is white. Like, the cleanest, purest white there ever was. The double bed up against the window, the tall wardrobe closet, the carpet, the nightstand, EVERYTHING. Not a spec of color to be seen.

  He walks to the bed, pulling the top blanket back for me. He lets out a long yawn and gives me a sleepy smile. Oh, that was cute.

  "Are you tired too?" I ask him.

  "A little" he shrugs a lean shoulder.

  I think about it for a minute. He's tired and now I'm taking his room. They've been so nice to me...maybe I should be nice back?

  "Um…you could stay. If you wanted to. You don't have to of course...it's just that if you're tired ... well, I'm going to be sleeping too." I rush out, making an idiot out of myself.

  "You sure?" Reed asks. I nod quickly. The truth is I don't really want to be alone.

   I make my way over to the bed and crawl in. Mmmm... It feels like a cloud too. Reed sits on the other side of the bed, taking his shoes and socks off. When he's done, he slips under the fluffy comforter. I face away from him and bring the blanket up so I can snuggle my face into it. It smells divine. We lay there for several minutes. I'm sleepy, but one thing is bugging me.

  "Reed?" I whisper, hoping he's not asleep yet.

  "Yeah?"

  "Why are you so sad?" I  blurt out.

  It's none of my business. He just seemed so happy and friendly when I met him at breakfast, something has changed. I flip over so I can see his face when he answers, "I'm sad because of what happened to you, Kitten. Hearing you say that stuff... I'm sad you're hurt, you could have died. Mostly I'm sad that you have nobody to take care of you, Kitten. I hate that you've been alone." He's looking at me while he speaks. His eyes are shiny. It breaks my heart a little.

  "But you don't know me Reed. You shouldn't be sad for me. Please don't let me make you sad. No one should ever be sad in a bed made of clouds." I say, trying to make him smile.

  It works, his eyes turn playful and he laughs. "My cloud-bed huh?"

  "Yeah, your cloud-bed. I think I'm in love with it." I giggle. Which is a strange sound coming from me.

   Reed shifts, turning on his side to face me, his hands snaking under the pillow. I do the same. "Go to sleep Silly Girl," He says playfully, kissing my forehead before closing his ever-changing eyes. I close mine too. I drift off, dreaming of fluffy clouds snuggling up to me.

I wake with a jolt. My eyes fly open and panic sets in. Where am I? I take in all the white. Oh yes, the cloud. Reed. I'm in Reed's room in a house full of boys that I know nothing about. They have been nothing but kind to me so far, even though I think they are weird.

The door opens after a light knock and Finn cautiously enters. "Hey, sleepyhead," He says.

  "Hey. What time is it?" I reply, looking to the window. The sun is in almost the same place it was when I fell asleep.

   "It's ten o'clock in the morning...Sunday." Oh great, I slept for another full day. "Kellan wants to see you before you eat, so come on. I'll walk you down there."

  I get up and follow Finn out into the hallway. He leads me down the stairs to a closed door. As he's about to knock, the door swings open and Kellan's standing there with a smile. He gestures for us to come in. The room looks like what I imagine a doctor's office would look like. On one wall is a cabinet and sink. On the opposite side is a high cushioned table with two cots next to it and chairs positioned between them. The back wall is filled with shelves and floor to ceiling cabinets. I stand uncomfortably in the middle of the room, not sure where I’m supposed to go. Finn takes a seat in one of the chairs as Kellan closes the door.

  "So Kitten...Ever seen a doctor before?" Kellan asks me.

  "Um, no. Why? Is one coming here?" Finn and Kellan both laugh at that.

  "I'm a doctor sweetie. I'd like to get your vitals and look over your injuries, see how you're healing. Is that okay Kitten?"

   I stand there, unsure. He looks like he's nineteen at the most. Maybe they just look young? Either way, why would he have a room like this in his house if he wasn’t a doctor? I shrug. What else was I going to do? Leaving right now still isn't a good option. If he wanted to hurt me he could have done so already.

  "Alright then," Kellan says while taking something out of a cabinet. "We'll step outside while you change into the gown. Take a seat up here on the table and yell when you're ready. We'll be right outside." Both he and Finn head out the door.

  I pick up the checkered green fabric. He called it a gown, but it has no back to it. Did he mean robe? I take off my borrowed clothes from yesterday and slip into the robe. I wrap it around me and climb the little steps on the table.

  "Ready," I call out. The door opens and they both return.

  Kellan goes to the sink to wash his hands as Finn sits back down in his chair beside me. Once he's done drying his hands, Kellan digs through a few drawers taking things out and setting them on a rolling table. He rolls it over to me.

  He uses different items to check in my ears and my mouth, pressing something to my chest and back. He looks at my fingernails and holds my wrist for a few moments. He rolls something over my forehead and it beeps. When that's done he walks to the counter and writes something down. When he turns back to me he looks more serious.

  "Now I'm going to need you to lay down Kitten. I'm going to open the gown and I'm going to press on your stomach and other areas, checking for injuries. While I'm doing that, I'm going to speak to Finn and he's going to write down what I say. Everything I'm doing is strictly professional; I'm not going to hurt you. If, at any moment you want me to stop, just say so and I'll stop immediately. Okay?"

  I nod and lay back. For some reason, I trust Kellan. He starts with my face, turning it this way and that, moving to my throat, his fingers gently pushing. My arms are next, he inspects each side, continuing to talk to Finn who is writing his every word. When his hands touch my feet I pull back. It tickles. Kellan doesn't react, moving my toes around and pushing my feet back.