Finding Solace (2 page)

 
I could feel
the foul hot breath coming from my mouth, so I rolled over onto my stomach and
inserted my face into the pillow. "How did you get in my bed?"

 
 
I heard him laugh and then he said something
that let me know I was so screwed. “Honey, you’re in my bed." And only
then did I take notice. How it took this long to register, I have no idea, but
I am completely naked!

 
What do I do
now?

 
I said the
only thing that came to mind, as stupid as it was. "So, you’re the
Harrison I've yet to meet? Well, I mean, obviously we know each other a little
now but…"

 
He cut me
off laughing again, "No, actually I'm not even a Harrison at all. That
would be Tony you’re thinking of."

 
Really?
I knew their brother’s name was Tony. I was at a
loss for words. I have never wanted to rewind my life more than I did at that moment.
So I went with the only thing I could think of, "Well then uh, it was
nice, whatever this was and now if you don't mind turning around, I'll be
getting dressed and out of here."

 
 
He just stayed where he was, staring at me.
“My name is Colton Jennings, by the way, but people just call me Colt,” he said
in the sultriest sexy voice. Panic set in. How was I feeling the way I was, just
by hearing him speak? I needed to get the hell out of there. So with that, I
stood up completely naked in all my glory. I grabbed my clothes, put them on
and ran faster than the road runner could to get the hell out of that room.

 
 
I had no idea where the door was that I needed
to go through. As I looked for it, I started to panic more. What if he was
following me? The hallway seemed to go on forever. Then I was in the family
room. Once I was through the family room, I saw the kitchen. I heard a noise
behind me just as the door came into view. I threw it open and began to run
down the steps, not even bothering to close it behind me. That’s when I saw my
car and my whole world crashed down on me. It was parked on top of a curb.

 
 
I got in and noticed that the keys were in the
ignition. It was then that the tears began to flood my eyes. I started the car,
fell off the curb I was on and headed straight home. All I kept thinking about
was why I seemed to be falling further and further down this path of destruction.
I mean, really? How did I go from a fun happy person who loved life, to a
relationship that nearly destroyed me, to needing to take control, to losing
control completely? Since when is it okay to drink and drive, black out, and
sleep with a stranger? What am I doing with my life?

CHAPTER
3

 
I
walked into the apartment and saw Heather sitting at a bar stool facing the
kitchen. She must have heard me come in because she turned around with the
biggest smile on her face. Well, that was until she really looked at me, then
it vanished.

 
 
"What's wrong, Sadie?” As she said it a
head popped up from around the corner. It was Jason, she had done it!

 
 
"Hey Jason.
Did
you just get here?" I couldn't help but tease them. It was six months of
hell waiting for this moment.

 
 
"Uh, not really.
Um, Heather and I um, well.” I had never seen him so nervous. It was adorable.

 
 
"Well said Jason.” She looked at him
annoyed then turned back to me. “Anyway, what happened to you, Sadie?"

 
I wasn't
sure what to say. How could I tell them that I slept with a total stranger, who
I thought was Jason's brother, but oh yeah, don't forget- I don't remember
anything about it? So I went with, "Nothing at all."

 
I went
upstairs and jumped in the shower hoping to wash off my mistakes. As the water
poured over me, I tried my damnedest to remember something, anything about how
the night before ended. I got nothing. What I do remember, is the God like
creature staring back at me this morning. If you have to find a positive in
every negative situation, he is mine. I can tell you this though; I will never
see him again. There is no way I could face that perfection of a man, knowing I
was the one night stand whore who woke up in his bed. I just couldn’t do it. I
turned off the water and stepped out with a whole new outlook on whom I needed
to be. And a chick that does what I did, will not be something that can define
me ever again.

 
I laid down
thanking the Lord that it was Tuesday. The one day, other than Sunday, that I
have time off from work. When you are a hair stylist, you work when everyone
else doesn't. Today was supposed to be my get laundry done, clean house day.
Now after last night, it had become a nurse myself back to health day. All of a
sudden Heather was knocking on my door telling me someone was on the phone for
me. Did I leave me phone downstairs? I looked at her suspecting it to be a joke
but she just smiled huge and handed me the phone.

 
 
"Hello?"

 
"Hey beautiful."
As soon as I heard it, I dropped
the phone to the floor. Heather picked it up laughing and forced me to take it
back.

 
"Um, hello."
Was all I could say as I heard him
laugh at
me.

 
"Are
you going to ask me how I got your friend’s number?" God, his voice just
made every goose bump stand on end.

 
"Okay,
you got me. How and why are you calling my friend’s phone?"

 
 
He laughed and said, "I listened last
night when you told me who your best friend and roommate
was
.
Besides, check the number I'm calling from."

 
Instantly I
pulled the phone off my ear and knew what to expect.
Because
my luck couldn't get any worse.
Yep, we all know exactly whose phone it
was.

 
"So,
are you ready to come give me that haircut you promised? Just think
,
you can pretend it’s just to get your phone and I get to
see your beautiful face again. Plus, I get a haircut from the sexiest hair stylist
on the planet.”

 
I thought I
was going to die right there on the spot. I hung up the phone, handed it back
to Heather and grabbed my purse. She and Jason laughed at me as I walked out
the door. Mortified was not even a fitting enough term for how I felt climbing
back into my car.

 
I was
driving back over to that Godforsaken house and couldn’t stop shaking like a
crazy person. How do I get myself into situations like this? I swear
,
I am a good person.

 
I pulled in
to the parking lot behind the house and just sat there. Was I really going to
cut his hair and act like nothing happened a few hours ago? Whatever, I needed
my phone. It was time to suck it up and just get this over with. I looked in to
the rearview mirror only to find what I already knew. I was hung over and it
showed, badly. I should’ve just sent Mike’s ass over here to get my phone and
stayed in bed. He’s the one who started this whole mess anyway.

 
 
Opening the car door, I glanced up at the door
I had exited only a few hours before. There was no way I was just going to go
up there and knock. No way. I closed the door and thought about driving away.
What could a new phone cost anyway? It would be worth avoiding the humiliation
I was about to endure. But then, if I was really going to change my ways, I
could start right now by facing this fear. I opened the door and got out,
looking up at his door again saying, "You can do this, you can do this,
you can do this."

 
"Are you
talking to yourself?" I heard this come from behind my car. As I turned
around, I saw a dumpster and its door being slammed shut. Colt walked around my
car and to no surprise he was just as perfect as what I remembered. He was
flawlessly gorgeous. My whole body was covered in goose bumps from the chills
that just ran through me. He continued to walk past me and started to climb the
steps. Halfway up he stopped, turned and stared.

 
"So,
are you going to stand there and keep talking to yourself or will you, please,
join me inside?" As he was talking, the smile that lit up his face caused
my legs to move without permission.

 
We entered
the apartment and I noticed something immediately that I can’t believe I had missed
outside.

 
"You
got a haircut!” Colt turned with the most deadly serious look on his face. He
walked over to me, never breaking eye contact and said, "Honestly, I
didn't want you to have to do something else you could eventually regret
pertaining to me. You didn't want to do it. And I'm not going to make you, out
of obligation."

 
I was
floored. I just stared at him with my mouth open. Who is this guy? I was
getting my phone and getting the hell out of there.

 
"Can I
get my phone then?” I wasn’t going to stand there and discuss last night, no
way. He walked back to his bedroom. God, just the way his body moved when he
walked. Did I mention he was in running pants and that was it? Every muscle
twisted and turned in his back. I was starting to think about what last night
could have been like, felt like. My imagination was running wild picturing
those muscles wrapped around me. I heard him walking back down the hall and I
know my face was flushed. Thank God he came back out with my phone in hand. Too
bad he had changed his clothes while he was gone.

 
“Sadie, I
know we started this totally backwards, but I find you incredibly sexy and
you’re so damn funny. I just would like it if we could start over. Please, let
me take you to lunch?”

 
Was he
serious? Why on earth would he want to? He got what he wanted. Suddenly he was
interrupting my thoughts by saying, "Hey there, over thinker. Can we go do
this?”

 
I put my
hand out for my phone. He placed it in my palm without letting go.

 
"I'm
not going to beg, you know." His eyes locked on mine.

 
"Okay,
let’s go." I can’t believe I agreed to go that easily. What the hell was wrong
with me? I do not get goo-goo eyed for anyone. Even if that someone is hot as
hell. We walked to a small winery/ restaurant across the street from his
apartment. As the hostess led us to our seats, Colt ordered a bottle of wine. I
was not sure if he knew that I wasn’t quite twenty one yet. Great! Another
awkward conversation I get to have.

 
 
"So Sadie, first I think you need to know
that I didn't plan last night. It just happened."

 
"Really,
does Mike always refer to you as his brother?"

 
Oh shit! I
can’t believe I just called him out. Damn right I
did,
and I was hell bent on finding out what was up with the game they were playing.

 
 
But he immediately responded without pause,
“No, I'm not sure what that was about because normally he refers to me as Colt
or Boss."

 
"What? Did
you say Boss?"

 
"Yes
Sadie, I said Boss. I run ‘51’. Didn't you know that?"

 
"Uh, nope.
Can't say that I did.
How old are you?"

 
"I'm
twenty seven.”

 
Holy shit,
twenty seven! What do I say? Guess what, I'm twenty? When you graduated high
school, I was in the fifth grade.

 
"Does
that freak you out?" He was so sexy with everything he did and said; it
was like nothing mattered if I could just continue to watch him. He leaned back,
rocking on the back legs of the chair.

 
"No,
but I feel like you know way more about me than I know about you. Major
disadvantage over here," I said as I pointed to myself.

 
"How’s that?"
He could not really mean that.

 
"Well
for starters, I don't remember one thing from last night after I met you and we
started doing shots together."

 
"Sadie,
I've already said I think we went backwards. There is no disadvantage in not
remembering. Everything that happened is going to happen again." He sat
forward and grabbed my chin, tilting my head so he could peer in my eyes."
And this time, I will make sure you never forget me."

 
I about peed
myself. Oh my God! No one has ever talked to me like that. It wasn't his words
so much as the way those eyes made me feel every word he spoke. He looked like
he wanted to eat me alive and the fact that I would let him, freaked me out.