Finding Solace (41 page)

 
I wanted to
scream YES but I just couldn’t. When I did say yes, I want it to mean
something. So I sat up, that way he would take everything I said seriously,
even if I didn’t have a shirt on.

 
"Ash, I
have to stick with what I said. What you’re asking from me is something you
have every right to get. I just can't give you that yet. Would you want me to
lie to you? I have no doubt that I want to see where this is going. There is
absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I want to sleep with you.
Badly.
But if what you want is all of me, I don't have that
to give yet. When I can, if I can, I want it to mean something too. Am I making
sense?"

 
"Shit,
Sadie. Blue balls again?" We both started laughing hysterically.

 
"Unfortunately,
I feel your pain. Hopefully one day we can make it happen. Is it wrong to tell
you I really want to scream your name?"

 
"It is
,
if you want me to stay away from you tonight, you’re
everything that I want right now. I can't look at you without picturing you
wrapped around me." My panties melted again.

 
"That's
not fair."

 
"Now
you know how I feel." We laughed again.

 
We sat there
and still had no shirts on and now it felt awkward. I put my hands up and
started to cover myself when Ash said, "Don't take away all my fun"
and then he removed my hands. He stood up and took off his pants. Asher
Williams was standing in front of me in nothing but his black boxer briefs.
Holy Shit! I might reconsider this commitment thing after all.

 
"Come
on, take yours off."

 
"Uh
Ash, we decided to not go there, didn't we?"

 
He reached
down and grabbed my pant legs. Then he jerked and pulled until they pooled on
the floor. I was left in my white lace thong.

 
"I know
we aren’t going to go there but that doesn’t mean the fun has to end. Let’s go
make a pizza in our undies? Doesn't pizza sound good?"

 
"Did
you just say cook in our undies?"

 
"Yep,
sure did. Now get that fine ass up, and let’s go make some pizza."

 
I got up and
he threw me over his shoulder and ran down the hall. The stairs scared the shit
out of me again. He actually walked down those this time. Ash didn’t put me
down until we reached the concrete counter tops that he set me on, and they
were freezing on my bare ass cheeks. He laughed and told me, "With those
size cheeks, your body heat should have that warm in no time." My jaw
dropped to the floor. He grabbed the sides of my butt with his hands and shook
it back and forth wiggling it. Can you say mortified?

 
"Stop!
I hate you."

 
"But I
really like you." He nuzzled in to my neck. "And I'm getting really
hungry."

 
He killed me
truly when he started getting out flour and yeast, or whatever it’s called,
that makes crust.

 
"You
mean really make pizza? Not frozen?"

 
"My
mother is Italian. She would hit me if I even thought about a frozen pizza.
Come help me. It will be fun."

 
I got down
and walked around to the counter as he spread flour across it.

 
"It
looks messy."

 
"Really?"
He slapped my cheeks with flour covered
hands. "Don't be afraid to get a little dirty, Sadie" this time he
slapped my other cheeks with it, "I like my girl a little dirty."

 
He is so
unbelievably sexy!

 
"You'll
get your dirty girl. I promise you that. Now let’s get this pizza made. Wait a
minute, do we have to still make the sauce? I can make it, but my mom’s way takes
hours."

 
He walked
over to the fridge and grabbed a ketchup bottle.

 
"Ketchup pizza?
No thanks." I walked over to his
phone and said, "I will order..." he slapped my hand away.

 
"My
mother stocks pizza sauce in my fridge. Ketchup bottles just make it easy. Now
get over here and knead this dough."

 
I went to
stand in front of him and we together kneaded the dough. How he could make
something so domestic so much fun was beyond me. But I loved it.

 
Eventually
we were able to pull out a pizza (that I felt the need to take a picture of)
that smelled and looked perfect. He actually has a pizza oven. Not an oven for
everything like I have. He has one of those too. When it finally cooled, Ash
sliced it and then fed it to me. It was incredible. The best pizza I have ever
eaten.

 
"So
what do you think?"

 
I wanted so
bad to tell him the truth, but I had to play with him a little more.

 
"It was
really good. It tastes just like Imo’s."

 
I shocked
him stupid. He truly was speechless. I reached over and kissed him.

 
"I’m
kidding. It is by far my favorite of all time.
Although, I do
like to dive into some Imo’s every now and then."

 
We ate
almost all of the pizza. Ash put the rest in a container for me to take home.

 
"How am
I getting home? I didn't bring my car."

 
"You
can stay in one of the guest bedrooms and I will take you to your car in the
morning."

 
"Oh,
okay. That will work. Thanks."

 
I started to
walk up the stairs when Ash grabbed me and body slammed me on the couch.

 
"Under
this roof woman, you will sleep nowhere but in my bed with me.
Understand?"

 
"Nope.
I didn't hear you ask once?"

 
"I'm
sorry. Sadie, will you please let me rub on you tonight."

 
"Absolutely
you can."

 
This time he
and I both went up the stairs side by side. He walked me to a closet that held
tooth brushes and floss, towels, soap. Everything you could possibly need. I
reached for a tooth brush and for the first time, thought of Colt. After the
crap night I was having, it ended up perfect. I was not going to let a tooth
brush bring me down.

 
"What's
taking you so long? Come to bed, woman. I can't wait to feel you next to me all
night."

 
I brushed my
teeth and washed my face. Then I walked into his room. We never did put clothes
on and somehow I got to the point that I had forgotten they were gone. Not
anymore. He was laying there in his boxers and I wanted him just as bad as I
did earlier. I leaned on the door frame and just watched him. He never took his
eyes off me, but I could see the tent
raise
.

 
"What
are we going to do about this?"

 
"We are
going to do this right, that's what. Now come to bed."

 
The lights
went off and we just laid there. Eventually he pulled me into a spooning
position where his elbow rested on my stomach and his hand cupping my boob. My
nipples could
cut glass
and he was hard as a rock. I
thought sleep would never come. But slowly it did. Ash flipped to his back, I
fell in the nook of his arm and that is all it took.

 
"Good
night, Sadie."

 
"Good
night, Ash."

 
It might have
taken awhile to find our niche, but we found it and sleep came finally for the
both of us.

CHAPTER
38

 
I
woke up feeling like I got the best sleep I’ve had in weeks. Next to me was a
sleeping God. We never did have sex last night, but I can't say we didn’t wake
up and play around a little. Part of me really wanted to take him up on his
offer. I would love to see where this could go. But in the back of my mind sits
Colt. I need to finish this right if he really is letting me go. I always knew
the time was coming. I guess I just lived in my own fairy tale universe
thinking he would confess his undying love for me. Ash stirred so I knew my
time to think was coming to an end.

 
"Good
morning, handsome."

 
He popped
one eye open and looked at me. "Best morning ever."

 
He grabbed
me and pulled me into him tighter.

 
"There's
nothing I want more than to kiss those swollen morning lips, but I have funk
breath."

 
"I
completely agree on the funk breath theory."

 
He jumped
out of bed and said, "That is just mean.
You’re not smelling
like roses yourself, hotcakes."

 
Now I was
mortified. I followed him to the bathroom and we brushed our teeth in unison.
The undies, as Ash would call them, were shed in the night, so we were standing
there in the complete nude. Morning time was affecting Ash as it does any man,
but wow is the best word I can come up with to describe what is right in front
of me. He didn’t seem to notice the drool pooling at the sides of my mouth. He
was superb standing there in all his glory. I couldn’t wait to have that all to
myself. He eventually caught on to the fact I had paused mid brush.

 
"You
like what you see or something?"

 
"Actually,
I think you have a wart or growth on the side of it."

 
"What?"
He immediately grabbed his package and started examining it. I fell over
laughing.

 
"You
think that's funny, do you?" He flung me over his shoulder and carried me
back to the bed while I was kicking and screaming. He threw me down and jumped
on top of me. We wrestled around laughing, until at one point I thought I was
going to go pee right there.

 
"Ash, stop.
I haven't gone to the bathroom yet. I have
to go."

 
He kept
tickling me and would not stop.

 
"Oh my
God, please." I was laughing so hard it was impossible to talk on a
serious tone. I literally started to go. I could not hold it any longer, when
Ash jumped off of me.

 
"Holy shit.
You weren't kidding." I was already in
the bathroom by the time he finished his statement. When I was done, I came
back out, walked over to the bed and said, "Don't you dare say a word.
It’s your fault."

 
"It’s
my
fault,
you peed in my bed like a little girl? I
don't think so. Now come here so I can punish you." He grabbed my hand and
pulled me down across his lap. And then began to spank me. He rubbed me between
each swat, so it didn’t really hurt but I screamed and kicked like a tortured
child.

 
"Let me
go!"

 
"Not a
chance. This ass is too fucking sexy for words."

 
"Now
you’re into the whole spanking thing? Kind of kinky, don't you think?"

 
"Never
thought of it like that, but I'm beginning to get some good ideas."

 
I twisted
until I was free. Then I climbed on his lap.

 
"You
are a sick son of a bitch."

 
"And
you’re going to find out someday just how much you’re going to enjoy it."

 
In a
very
screwed up way, I was kind of looking forward to it.
What is wrong with me?

 
"In
your dreams you would get that lucky."

 
"Oh
girl, you’re already my dream come true. Now my life's mission is to make all
yours happen."

 
"A
little sappy, don't
ya
think?"

 
"That
was pretty bad, wasn't it?"

 
"You
have to think about it?"

 
"Leave
me alone or I will truly show you what a spanking feels like."

 
He pushed me
off of him.

 
"Aw, poor baby.
Did I hurt your feelings?"

 
"Keep
going, Sadie, and you will be screaming my name for another reason."

 
It was time
to stop. I kissed him with enough I am sorry built into it, that words were not
necessary. When I pulled back, it was for a reason I wish weren’t true.

 
"I need
to get going. I have to work today."

 
"I'm
afraid of how much shit I'm going to get for this, but I really am not ready to
let you go yet." He grabbed me and pulled me back in.

 
I knew what
he was saying through his hold on me and I couldn’t make that promise yet. But
I could say this, "I'm not going anywhere but to work, Ash. I
promise."

 
He leaned
back and smiled at me. It was then that I knew that was all the reassurance he
needed. I got up and put my clothes back on. It felt strange. I had kind of
gotten used to the idea of being naked when I was at Ash’s. I must truly be turning
into a weirdo. When we walked back through the house, I took it in one more
time. This place is truly magnificent. We walked out the door, into the garage
and got into his car. He pulled in through a drive thru so that we could grab a
quick breakfast. Too soon, we were back at my car.

 
"I
really had a great time with you, Ash, last night
was
a blast. Maybe we could do it again sometime soon?"

 
"You
bet, Sadie. I would love that."

 
I leaned
over and gave him a kiss goodbye. I intended for it to be a quick one, but Ash
wanted to make sure that I remember exactly what we had together. Raw sexual
tension is the best way that I could describe what I was feeling. There was no
doubt in my mind I was going to find out exactly what it is between us. I wasn’t
ready for it to stop but he eventually pulled back.

 
"Will
you get out already, woman?”

 
"Funny guy.
Alright Ash, thanks again and I'll talk to
you soon" I got out, got in my car and just beamed a smile like no other.
I drove off and was almost home when my phone dinged again letting me know I
had a text. I just knew it was going to be Ash with another one of his quirky
messages. I pulled into my parking space, got my phone out of my purse and was
excited as all hell to hear what he came up with next.

 
Ash: U
LOOK
GOOD IN MY HOUSE. I'M BACK HERE AND SOMETHING SEEMED 2
B MISSING. THEN I REALIZED IT WAS U.

 
Me: I PLAN
ON BECOMING A SUBTLE DECORATION THERE. WOULD THAT
B
OK?"

 
Ash: MORE
THAN JUST OK. BUT U SADIE COULD NEVER BE A SUBTLE ANYTHING. HAVE A GREAT DAY
PRINCESS.

 
Me: U 2

 
I put my
phone back in my purse and walked into an empty house again. I was wondering if
Heather wanted to move out but felt bad about the rent. I was going to have to
talk to her about that. I jumped in the shower and got ready for work. When I
was leaving, Tony called to see how my night went.

 
"It was
so much fun. We made a pizza."

 
"That’s
so not at all what I thought you were going to tell me."

 
"
Me
either, if you would’ve asked me when we got to his house,
but we talked and decided it was best not to push anything yet."

 
"Are
you telling me you want to wait until it's special or some shit? Sadie, what
happened to you? Are you okay?"

 
"Don't
be a smart ass. Ash told me I needed to straighten out what was going on with
Colt first. He said he won't share me."

 
"In all
seriousness, I really like this guy, if I haven't said that already."

 
"Yeah, me too."

 
"So, what about Colt?
Are you ready to walk away?"

 
"No."