Finding Solace (40 page)

 
"I
heard you in there. He doesn't deserve you."

 
Holy shit! I
was shocked stupid. I said nothing.

 
"I told
you I wasn't done with you and I'm not. Not by a long shot.
But
that in there, you need to deal with it.
You are so perfect just the way
you are. Please don't change one thing about yourself. When you are mine, this
is who I want."

 
I grabbed
him and kissed him like he was my lifeline. He kissed me with just as much
endurance. He pulled back once again and said, "My time to shine is coming,
girl. You better be ready for me when it does."

 
"Can we
get out of here and talk? I don't want to leave you yet."

 
"I wish
I could, but I've got a date inside that I'm sure is wondering where I
am."

 
"Oh,
okay. Then we better get you back inside." I started to walk away when he
pulled my arm back to him.

 
"I'm
not ready to let you go again." His lips found mine and this time was
different. He pulled my lower lip with his teeth and then
drug
them until he no longer had it. Then he grabbed my upper lip and he softly
kissed it, his tongue swept my lips parting them. We walked backwards never
leaving the kiss until he hit the wall. Ash’s body started to slide down and he
brought me with him. He eventually was sitting on the concrete and I found
myself straddling him. He undid the tie around my neck causing the straps to
fall forward and leaving my breasts exposed. His hands fell to cup them while
his thumbs brushed my nipples. My pelvis started to grind into him. I was
feeling euphoric knowing my orgasm was seconds away. Wait. What?

 
I jerked
away from him, tying my shirt back in place and coming to stand over him.

 
"You
have a date inside and I'm not a street hooker that's going to fuck in a
parking lot where anyone can see."

 
He stood up
to tower over me. He lifted my chin and said, "My date will be over as
soon as I walk through those doors. I'm sorry I let myself get carried away,
but don't you ever for a fucking second compare yourself to a whore. You can
leave with me in five minutes or you can go back to your friends. It’s your
call. Either way, I'm leaving."

 
"I
didn't, by the way."

 
"You
didn't what?"

 
"Compare
myself with a whore. I said I'm not a street hooker, get it right. I will meet
you back here in five minutes. But remember one thing. Earning me is just the
start. Keeping me is a whole other challenge."

 
"Challenge
accepted."

 
We walked
back in together but quickly took separate paths. His led to whoever he was
with. Mine went straight to my friends. I walked up to the table and announced
I was leaving. Tony got up and walked over to me to give me a hug. He whispered
in my ear, "Are you okay?"

 
"Ash is
here. I'm leaving with him." He smiled so big. "Good girl! Have fun
tonight. Don't think, feel. I love you to pieces."

 
"I love
you too."

 
"Bye, everybody."

 
The group
all said goodbye at once and I was then on my way to find Ash. I was so happy,
excited even. I practically skipped outside. When I got there, I came to a
screeching halt. Ash was there, that was not the problem. The problem was that
Cindy was standing next to him. Can I not catch a fucking break? I did an about
face and started to walk back inside when she said, "You have got to be
kidding me!
Really Ash, Sadie?"
I was so not
going there. I continued to walk but was stopped again. This time it was Ash.
He looked at me and said, "I have already said my goodbyes to Cindy. We
can continue to let everything get in our way, or we can do this. It’s your
call."

 
I didn't
have to think twice about that. I wanted the drama to stop. I looked him back
in the eye and said, “Let’s go."

 
"That's
my girl."

 
We walked
right past a scouring Cindy and got into his car. I didn’t care if I left mine
and somebody stole it. I was ready to start this night over again. Ash took my
hand as we drove out of the parking lot.

 
"Your place or mine?"

 
"Do you
have one? You just got home a couple weeks ago."

 
"I
never let it go. I bought it before I left."

 
"Stocks
must have been in your favor, I guess."

 
"That
and then some other stuff. So I guess it’s my place."

 
"Sounds good to me."

 
We drove for
a little while in silence but I couldn’t keep the question that kept going
through my mind in any longer. "Are you at all curious as to why Cindy reacted
like that with me?
Because, I'm dying to know what you saw in
her."

 
"I
didn't want to pry but of course since you've brought it up I do. As far as
what I saw in her? She's cute and seemed like she would be fun to hang out
with. Why else would I want to take her out?"

 
That struck
a nerve but I had no right to say so.

 
"Cindy
used to date my ex-boyfriend."

 
"Oh. So
why does she not like you? Did you break his heart or something?"

 
"No.
Let me clarify. She dated him while I was still with him."

 
 
"No shit. Well that makes a hell of a lot
more sense."

 
"That
and I puked all over her at Lindsey’s party."

 
"You
did what?"

 
He was
pulling into his driveway when the last question came out. I couldn’t answer
him. I had been so focused on him and the conversation we were having that I
hadn’t even noticed where we were. His house was huge. I mean mansion huge.
This neighborhood is where my parents used to drive me through when I was a
child to look at Christmas lights. Money always meant the best displays.

 
"You
live here?"

 
"Yes,
does that shock you?"

 
"More
than you could imagine. Stocks must have really been good for you."

 
"That and the fact that I have a trust fund.
I paid
cash for it so I could do what I wanted and not have to worry about the payments
if my income wasn't substantial.
Enough about all that.
Are you ready to get out of this car?"

 
I looked and
we were in the garage already. The car was turned off and we were just sitting
there.

 
"Yeah,
we could do that."

 
He got out
and walked around to take my hand. He led me through the garage door into the
house. We entered a long hall that opened to the kitchen. I stopped looking
around at how amazing his house was because I thought the most amazing part of
the whole package was Ash himself. He continued to walk me into the family room
and sat me down on the couch. I was disappointed only because the view of him
from behind was one I could watch all day. I decided I needed more of him and
went straight for what I wanted. I straddled him again. This time, my knees were
able to be comfortable instead of having concrete beneath us. Ash took me in
and rested his hands on my thighs.

 
"
Whatcha
planning there, girl?"

 
I answered
with bending forward and kissing his neck. I licked and then I would kiss. I
let my tongue drag across his Adam’s apple to bring me right under his ear and
then I would kiss him again. Ash was definitely enjoying what I was doing to
him. I could feel it between my legs. I used my tongue to drag up his chin and
took his mouth for my own. We kissed passionately until I could feel his hands
run up my back and to my neck. He undid the tie again, letting it fall back
where it was an hour ago. This time he broke our kiss and leaned me back far
enough to where my head fell between his knees. Ash leaned forward and took my
nipple in his mouth. He lightly sucked on it and then let go to blow across it.
My whole body had chills from the action. He then licked across my chest to
take the other nipple in his mouth. I have never been so happy to have not worn
a bra. He licked and sucked every inch of my chest. I loved the feeling of his
mouth on me, but I needed more. I sat up and grabbed the bottom of his shirt to
pull it off of him. He let me. His hands went up and then it was my turn. With
both of us naked, we were chest to chest. It felt good to rest my naked skin
against his. Not to mention seeing that stomach in person. My God, this man was
chiseled. He took Abercrombie models and put them to shame. My hands had found
their home. To feel each and every muscle was turning me on more than I can
tell you. We continued to kiss and that is another place I could stay. The way
his mouth moved with mine, it was like we were meant to stay this way. He
eventually picked me up and started to carry me across the room. I broke the
kiss long enough to ask, "This isn't where you cut me off again is it? If
I were a man I would complain of blue balls."

 
"No, my
dear
Sadie,
now is where I take you to my room and
make you scream my name. I have every intention of showing you just how well
you can use that beautiful voice of yours."

 
"Get
going then. I would love to see you try."

 
I grabbed
the back of his head and kissed him with as much passion as I could throw
behind it. He continued to walk and eventually we reached the stairs. As we
began the climb up I asked, "Wouldn't it be safer if you put me down? I
don't want you to drop me."

 
"I'm
never letting you go. Not unless you really want me to."

 
"I
don't want to fall."

 
We were
almost to the top by now. Ash must have tripped because we started to fall and
I screamed like a little school girl. He cracked up laughing, righting us in
the process.

 
"I've
got you, silly girl. I would never do anything that could hurt you."

 
If only that were true.

 
 
"Maybe if you..." I couldn't finish.

 
"Don't
you dare
stop.
That doesn't work for me." By this
time we had reached the top and were still working on getting to the bedroom.
The next question is which bedroom is his, there were fifty of them. Not really
but, WOW! He eventually got us to the end of the hall and opened the door. He
threw me, literally threw me, on to his four poster bed.

 
"Now
speak, woman. I'm serious. Don't stop when you need to say something."

 
He jumped on
top of me.

 
"Let me
refresh your memory. I said I would never do anything that could hurt
you."

 
"I just
thought maybe if you could keep me from falling for you. I always seem to get
hurt when I care for someone. That's what I was going to say. And now I'm
embarrassed."

 
"I told
you that I wasn't looking for a wife and that was true. What I didn't tell you
was from the second I saw you on your birthday, I have wanted you. We joked
about the whole stalker thing so I took a step back. A big one since I left for
over a year. I lived on a ship, Sadie. A person does a lot of thinking. I
thought about the last night I got to have with you.
A lot.
Never did I think I would see you the day after I got back. The stalker thing
kept going through my mind. I don't want you to think I am infatuated with you.
I just feel like there is something stronger than me pulling us together. I
have no intention of ever hurting you, but I was dead serious about you leaving
what was going on tonight in your past, before we even start this. Because once
we do, I don't share."

 
“The only
promise I will make to you is the fact I won't break one. I can't tell you that
I don't still have unresolved feelings for him. What I can say, is that I'm
ready to try to move forward with you. That has to be enough. If it’s not, then
I should go."

 
“I want you
so bad, that like a fool, I'm tempted to take what I can get, but I won't. I
have pulled away every time we have gotten close to making it this far and
there is a reason for that. I want what happens between me and you to mean
something. I’ve had plenty of one night stands. I don't want one night with
you. I'm not ready to let you go. But you need to make this choice. Knowing
what I want, are you ready to start this? I won't give you up once I have
you."