Finding Solace (18 page)

 
"All
that, just so I don't tell people that you love it when I ...."

 
"STOP!
You suck, Sadie Warren, absolutely suck."

 
"Nice
choice of words there, Colt. But it’s not the sucking I'm talking about it's
the...."

 
Colt jumped
over to me and covered my mouth. I was laughing harder than I had in years. His
face was beet red. It was hilarious. He had no choice but to join me because I
had no intention of stopping. Laughing felt good, people should do it more
often. When that fit was over Colt took all the meat off the grill. Everything
was too hot to eat so we walked over to see how Heather and Jason were doing
against Jeff and Megan. Jason and Heather were getting their asses handed to
them. Colt called winners for the next game. Of course we ended up losing to
Jeff and Megan too, that's what I get for talking smack.

 
We all quit
the games for a while so we could eat. The hamburgers looked fantastic. The
chicken kabobs were cooked with green peppers and mushrooms, and I do not know
where he found the bratwurst because they were huge. We had potato salad, Cole
slaw, corn, and baked beans for sides. Heather and I even made brownies for
dessert.

 
Everybody
dug in. It was almost quiet while the food was being consumed. It was that good
that nobody wanted to stop eating long enough to talk. When we all finally had
our fill, we cleaned up and went back to the games. Hoosier Golf was next on my
to-do list. I had never played, so I was determined to learn and win. Colt
still wanted to win at washers so I paired up with Shawn and we played Jason
and Heather. It was as if nothing ever happened between the two boys. We joked
and laughed. The game lasted way longer than I thought, but in the end Shawn
and I were the victors. By this time it was getting dark and time to pack up.
Some of the guys needed to go to practice, while others had to go in to work.
We all hugged and I thanked everyone for coming. They all thanked me in return
for the idea and we agreed to do it again. When everything was packed up in my
car, we left to go home.

 
The
following week at the alley was just as it was at the park. Everyone got along
great. Things felt like they were falling into place, and everything was going
back to the way it was before. The only thing I did notice was Colt was high
again. Do not get me wrong, it does not change him in any
way,
I just wonder where he is getting the money for this habit that seems to be
getting more frequent. Mike was talking to the guys when I walked up to the bar
for a drink.

 
"This
guy is going to be all my nightmares coming true. He's skilled, guys. I have
never been this nervous about a fight before. It doesn't help that they have
been pumping this bout for months now either. Pay per View is charging $100 per
purchase."

 
Jason spoke
next, "Bro, you got this. You've been training for this moment for eight
years. It will be a cake walk. Besides, it’s out of Chicago. We will all be
there."

 
"I know
you will and believe me that
helps
a lot. I just can't
seem to fall in my groove like I normally am this close to a fight. I'm not
scared or anything, just nervous."

 
All the guys
started to pump him up. His fight was in five weeks. I already took the weekend
off and have my tickets purchased. The plan is Colt, Jason, Heather and I
are
going to drive in Friday night and get the rooms while
the rest of the clan wraps up the bar and comes up Saturday morning. Colt made
his way over to join the group of us. After he took in a little more of the
conversation he added, "Mike, I can roll on the mat with you if you want
some extra training?"

 
"
Colt, that
would be awesome. My trainer seems to think we
will be on our feet most of the time but I know this guy has got a background
of being good on the ground too. Any extra help I can get would be
awesome."

 
 
“I've been smacking him around in the ring
too. Old fucker is getting sloppy on his boxing skills," Jason laughed and
then finished with, “I'm just giving you shit, big brother, you'll be
fine."

 
"Alright
guys enough of making me sound like a pussy. Sadie, you ready to line up those
shots of yours."

 
"You
bet your ass."

 
We went on
to have a great night of drinking and laughing. These people are my happiness.
I want what's best for all of them.

 
It has been
five weeks and the time has come for Mike's fight. Jason and Colt came to pick
Heather and me up from the apartment. Jason was driving his jeep, which didn’t
seem to work for Heather’s seven bags of luggage. I, for one, only brought a
duffle bag and a suitcase. (Pretty proud of me, aren’t
ya
?)

 
After a much
heated debate, Heather went back inside and shrunk it down to three. When we
got it all secure in the back, it was time to hit the road. Jason had taken the
top off so we could all enjoy the eighty five degree day. Nothing feels better
than riding in a jeep and letting your hair go free. Okay, that's a complete
lie. All of you girls know that when your hair is flying all over the place,
that shit whips you in the face and it hurts. It’s not even worth the price to
look good in my opinion. So I grabbed a band and pulled mine back. I turned to
see Heather getting pummeled by her own locks and start laughing my ass off.
Whatever, it was her call.

 
It took a
little over an hour and a half for us to get to the hotel and holy
shit,
parking costs are outrageous in Chicago. We all
checked into our rooms. Heather and I shared one connected to Colt and Jason’s
by a door. We got two more that were just like ours for everyone else coming.
Mike was staying here also, but they put him up in the penthouse or something
like that. After we unpacked, we decided to go down to the lobby and grab dinner
and then head over to the bar. The food was okay I thought, but not what I was
expecting. The bar was a whole different story. It was packed! It seemed that
everyone there came in to watch the fight tomorrow night. We found a table and
ordered our drinks. I am not a tight wad but holy crap, even a drink was
expensive. One beer was six dollars. Take me back home where it’s three dollars
and twenty five cents. So I switched to Red Bull and vodka. I at least felt
like I was getting more for my money that way. We had been hanging out for
about two hours and we were all feeling mighty good from the alcohol, when the
table behind us started talking loudly. It was not hard to hear the dude
sitting behind Colt say, "Mike Harrison has no chance in hell tomorrow.
This is going to be the easiest five grand I've ever made. The payoff gets even
bigger if he's taken down in the first round. Who knows how much I could bring
in?"

 
Colt sat
straight up when he noticed Jason get stiff. I didn’t want a fight to start, so
I tried switching the subject.

 
"Hey
Jason, when is your next match? Now that you have clearance to fight again, do
you have one lined up?" I really thought that would work but I don’t think
he heard a word of it. He was still glued to the guy behind Colt and the dude
wouldn’t shut up. Then his friend chimed in.

 
"I
don't know. Harrison has never lost at this level. He has a chance, if you ask
me."

 
"Are
you fucking crazy? Harrison is nothing but a pussy that has been fighting even
bigger pussies. Reynolds is going to crush him."

 
Keith
Reynolds has held the heavy weight title for two years now. But Mike could do
this. I know he can. Jason went to stand up but Colt beat him to it and when he
did, he made sure to do it with enough force that his chair flung back into the
guy talking all the shit. Mister Big Mouth stood and turned around quickly. He
took in the size of Colt and then his eyes wandered to Jason, then his form
seemed to soften immediately. He was lucky if he was five foot six and he
didn’t stand a chance. His buddy was not much bigger. The stare down lasted
long enough for the guy’s friend to grab him. They both left and it still took
until they were out of sight for the guys to sit back down. We finished our
drinks and decided to call it a night. When we got back to the hotel rooms, of
course we split up into couples. Colt played it off like we were just helping
Jason and Heather out. Heaven forbid, we admit we hook up to our friends.
Heather knows but I don't know what she had told Jason. There is a part of me
that hurts because of this. But I just walked into the bathroom, changed into
my jammies, pulled my hair up, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Normally
Colt would have joined me by now, but when I walked back into the room and saw
him out on the terrace smoking, I just got in bed and fell asleep.

 
It was the
morning and Mike's fight was tonight. The day had finally come. When I woke up,
I had an awful feeling this was going to be a bad day. I wanted the feeling to
go away so I attempted to fall back asleep. Colt stirred in bed and then came
to my side of the bed to cuddle with me. Something else was that was giving me
that yucky feeling? Colt always slept with me in his arms and when I woke up he
was on the other side of the bed. If this was a sign of what's to come today, I
just want to go back to sleep. He whispered in my ear, "Good morning,
my
beautiful." Oh, now he wants to be all sweet.

 
"Good
morning, Colt."

 
"Wow,
what happened to you."

 
"Why
would you say that?"

 
"Well
for one, you're still facing the other direction. Two, you're answering me with
short little responses instead of having a conversation with me and three, you
went to bed last night without even saying good night. When I came to bed and
tried to hold you, you pushed me away in your sleep. If that doesn't scream
that there's a problem, I don't know what does."

 
Point taken.
I didn't even know I pushed him away. Maybe my
subconscious knows more than my conscience does.

 
“I'm just
really nervous about tonight."

 
"And
that explains why I'm still talking to your back?"

 
I rolled
over to face him but I still didn't know what to say. So that's exactly what I
said.

 
"What
do you want me to say, Colt?"

 
"Wow!
What did I do? Because you are crazy pissed off at me and I'd really like to
fix it if I can."

 
"You
can't."

 
"Let me
try. And I can't try if I don't know what's wrong."

 
You want me
to take the plunge don't you? You want me to throw it all out there, put it all
on the line, and tell him he needs to either get on board or jump ship, right?
Well, I can't. I'm not ready to take that risk yet. So I responded to him with
something like this.

 
 
“Colt, I'm just going through some personal
stuff right now. I have to figure it out my own. I'm sorry if I made you feel
like it was you. It's not you, it's me, and it's just a decision I have to make
on my own." It is the best that I could do.

 
"I
don't believe you. You pulled away from me, Sadie. So please don't lie to me
and tell me this doesn't have anything to do with me."

 
"Well
then, let me rephrase what I was saying. It does have to do with you. It's just
a problem you can't fix."

 
"Okay?
Can I ask you a question?"

 
"Sure."

 
"How is
it our non-complicated relationship seems to be getting more and more complicated?"

 
"I
don't have the answer for that question."

 
“Neither do
I, Sadie, neither do I. But I do know one thing. You are one sexy ass woman and
I can think of a lot of things I could do with this, instead of having this
conversation." he grabbed my ass and pulled me towards him. "We can
revisit it another time, I promise."

 
That was the
first promise that he made to me that I did not believe he would keep.

 
Several
hours later after doing a lot of things that require very little
conversation,
we showered and got ready for the day. By the
time we were finished, Heather was banging on the adjoining door. When I
unlocked it, she helped herself in.

 
"Sure
am glad you guys are finished. Ever think people might hear you? Holy shit,
you've got some lungs, girl."

 
I didn't
know what to say and it showed all over my face. I looked to Colt for help.
What he did floored me.

 
"Well,
what can I say? I'm good like that. Ask all the girls."