Fireflies From Heaven (19 page)

“Yes.”

“What are you
going to do about it?”

“I’m not sure
yet,” I admitted anxiously. I’d been debating all day about calling Reed or
going to see him, but I thought he might need time to cool off after last
night.

“This isn’t
going to be fixed with movies, chocolate and coffee,” she informed me as if I
didn’t already know that.

“I want to call
Reed or go see him, but I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.”

She seemed to
think about that a moment. “You should call first then because you look like
someone that people should feel sorry for, especially with that big white
bandage on your head.”

“I know that, Cora.
I meant I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose me because I look
pitiful.”

“You mean well
Ellie, but trying to protect people by keeping things from them didn’t work out
for you with Isabelle. I doubt it’ll work with Reed either.”

She was right.
I needed to talk to Reed, but I had no clue what I’d say other than ‘I’m sorry’
and that didn’t seem like enough.
 
I
hadn’t trusted him and hadn’t believed in him when he said he knew what he
wanted.

Picking up my phone,
I called Reed but for the first time ever he didn’t answer. I left a message
for him to call me and waited. Two movies and half gallon of ice cream later,
he still hadn’t called.

“Try again,” Cora
told me, but I could tell she had expected him to call back.

I called again,
but this time I didn’t leave a message.
 
I sent a text, but that went unanswered as well.

Over the next
couple of days I called and sent at least a dozen messages, but I still had not
heard from Reed. Isabelle said that he’d been busy with work, and I was
relieved to know he was okay but devastated because he didn’t want to talk to
me. I now realized how foolish I’d been, and I was desperate to reach
Reed.
 

I was also
afraid I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.

I stared in
shock at my boss, Elizabeth Brown, who sat frowning at me from behind her desk,
an ominous pile of paperwork sitting in front of her.

“I really am
sorry to do this to you, especially while you’re on sick leave,” Mrs. Brown said,
watching me closely. “Do you deny that you had a sexual relationship with a
Sergeant Bentley while he was your patient?”

Hearing Mrs.
Brown’s accusation of unprofessionalism, I felt sick. Of course I knew that
relationships with patients were unprofessional, but I hadn’t thought of Reed
as a patient because he was more to me and always had been. Shaken, I had no
idea how to begin to explain this to my boss.

I looked up at
Mrs. Brown, who was waiting for my answer, and I saw from her expression that
she fully expected me to deny any involvement with Reed. “I’m sorry,” I told
her.

She stiffened,
her eyes widening with shock. Sliding her glasses down her nose, she peered at
me with an unreadable expression. “You understand that I’ll have to let you go.”

I nodded
grimly. “Yes.”

“I don’t know
if any further action will be taken against you, but I’ll do what I can to keep
this from going any higher up.”

“I appreciate
that, Mrs. Brown,” I said sitting anxiously on the edge of my seat, ready to
bolt as soon as I was dismissed.

Mrs. Brown’s
eyes softened. “Ellie, what happened?”

I told her the
whole story about knowing Reed since high school, and how we’d met again while
he was in the army.
 
She was
sympathetic and listened. When I was finished, she surprised me by standing up,
coming from behind her desk and hugging me.
 
Mrs. Brown was a fair boss, but she was
more stern than affectionate so the uncharacteristic gesture humbled me. She
wished me good luck, and I left her office still shocked.

It was as if I’d
released a storm of bad luck when I’d chosen to break up with Reed.
 
I was mad at myself for trying to fix
something that wasn’t even broken.
 
If Reed and Amber were meant to be together, they’d get back together
whether I broke up with him or not. It wasn’t as if I needed to push him into
her arms, which I’d foolishly done.

Overwhelmed
with emotion, I drove to straight to Reed’s house, and saw with despair that Amber’s
car was parked in his driveway.
 
I
didn’t stop. I kept on driving, knowing that I had no right to feel hurt when
Reed was doing what I’d asked him to do. Still, the visual of him in bed with
Amber ripped through me with such brutal force that I had to pull over and take
a moment to get control of myself.

Once I’d calmed
down, I glanced at my watch, knowing I had an appointment to try on my
bridesmaid dress this afternoon with Aunt Lacy and Brooke. I didn’t need to
glance in the mirror to know that I looked like hell. Wearing faded jeans and
athletic shoes with a navy t-shirt and ball cap, I wondered if they’d even
claim me as family.
 
They surely
wouldn’t when they saw my bruised face.
 
I let out a hysterical laugh, thinking I’d borrow Cora’s words and tell
Aunt Lacy that I’d been in a fight.

I strolled unapologetically
into the exquisite boutique almost twenty minutes late and saw Aunt Lacy with
her arms folded over her stylish gray suit and Brooke glancing at her expensive
Rolex.

“Hi, Aunt Lacy.
Hey, Brooke.” Inhaling a whiff of flowery smelling air, I forced a smile.

Aunt Lacy’s
face scrunched as if she’d just smelled something bad, her eyes flicking over
me with distaste before lifting to my face and gasping. Her hand flew out and
touched Brooke’s arm. “Dear Lord, what on earth happened to your face?”

Helping myself
to a cup of coffee from the carafe, I poured some cream and stirred in sugar.
“I fell down the stairs. It looks worse than it feels.”

“You’ve got a
black eye!” Aunt Lacy exclaimed in horror.

“Mother, I’m
sure it will heal before the wedding,” Brooke said, patting Aunt Lacy’s arm.

Ah, so that’s
why they were concerned with my face. “I’m sure it will be cleared up by the
wedding since that’s two months away,” I assured them both, unable to
completely erase the sarcasm from my words.

“In the future
you must be more careful,” Aunt Lacy admonished. “You wouldn’t want to ruin
Brooke’s wedding with your clumsiness.”

“Mother,”
Brooke said, defending me. “No one will be looking at Ellie anyway. Everyone
knows the bride is the star of her own wedding.”

The two of them
looked at each other and smiled.

“Absolutely,” I
agreed.

After I was
escorted to a dressing room, I slipped on a beautiful ivory dress with sheer
sleeves, a V-neck, fitted bodice with an A-line skirt.
 
It was one of the loveliest dresses I’d
ever seen. “I thought the dress was purple,” I said to Brooke.

“We thought
that would be too garish, besides eggplant was last season’s ‘it’ color and I want
to be original.”

“It looks a
little tight.
 
Have you gained
weight?” Aunt Lacy asked frowning.

“I don’t think
so.” Since I didn’t weigh myself regularly, I didn’t know for sure.

“You must
have,” Aunt Lacy insisted. “Brooke and I do a spin class every morning at five
am to keep in shape. We don’t eat bread, sugar, carbs, meat or anything with
artificial additives.”

“That sounds …effective.”
It sounded like torture. “I guess the two of you don’t like The Pit.
 
Dad and I love that place. It’s our
favorite.”

“I’m sure that
it is,” Aunt Lacy continued, looking down her nose at me. “Your dad was always
so common.”

I stiffened,
offended on my dad’s behalf. It wasn’t the first time she’d said something
negative about him and it wasn’t even the most critical comment she’d made, but
it was the first time I wasn’t going to let it go.
 
“You say that as if there’s something
wrong with it.
 
My dad is a good
man, he’s hard working and he’s been the best mom and dad to me.”

Aunt Lacy
rolled her eyes. “Hunter McAllister is a blue collar worker that never finished
college and wouldn’t be your father if he hadn’t taken advantage of Jonathon’s
sister before she was even out of high school.”

“They were in
love, Aunt Lacy.” Mom was actually seven months older than Dad and he did not
take advantage of her.

“One must
always live up to one’s full potential,” Aunt Lacy retorted coolly.

“Who determines
one’s full potential, you?” I asked quietly.

“Eleanor, what
has gotten into you?” Aunt Lacy snapped.

 
“Mother,” Brooke whined. “Please,
remember what we discussed.”

“From the look
on your face,
I
was what was
discussed.” My temper was rising quickly, and I struggled to remain calm, not
wanting to say something I’d later regret.

“Ellie, Mother
and I are concerned about you,” Brooke said, her critical gaze sliding over me,
searching for flaws and seeming to find them in abundance.
 
She gestured for me to sit in one of the
chairs in the dressing area, and I saw the boutique manager listening with
interest.

I sighed in
frustration. “Brooke, the dress can be let out.
 
It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s not the
dress, and we have all been fretting about you,” Brooke cooed sympathetically.
“Of course, it is not only Mother and I.
 
Father and Davis are also troubled.”

“You’ve been
fretting
about me?”

“Certainly. You
are family. Your behavior reflects on all of us,” Brooke continued, missing my
sarcasm. Aunt Lacy glided to Brooke’s side in a show of support for whatever
Brooke was about to tell me. “Considering the circumstances, it is
understandable that you would feel some jealousy and maybe even have some
unresolved feelings for Davis.”

I froze. “You
think I have feelings for Davis?” I asked, surprised.

“Don’t you?”
Aunt Lacy asked softly.

“No.”

“You’re
obviously heartbroken,” Brooke observed, looking down at me.

“I just broke
up with my boyfriend!”

From the fake
sympathy looks they were giving me, neither believed me.
 
“Maybe you should talk to someone. I’ll
give you the name of my therapist.”

“I don’t need a
therapist,” I clipped, standing up and going back into the dressing room
without a backward look.

 
A couple of minutes later I was dressed again
in my own clothes and reconsidering a therapist.
 
I laughed, thinking it wouldn’t matter
because even if I wanted one, I wouldn’t be able to afford one.

The enormity of
all that had happened hit me full force. Reed was seeing Amber, and it had been
my idea because I’d broken up with him and told him to do that. I’d been fired
from my job for having sex with Reed, and my family thought I was still hung up
on Davis.

 
I went home and changed into my running
shorts and shoes, grabbed my music and ran. Seven miles later, I returned home,
showered and crashed.

The next
morning I didn’t want to get up, and I had nowhere to be so I stayed in bed.
 
If it hadn’t been for the half a dozen
phone calls and texts from Davis, I might have continued to hole up in my room,
but I didn’t want to keep ignoring him. I sent him a text, agreeing to meet for
coffee and reluctantly got myself out of bed.

I was tired.

It took a lot
of effort to pull on jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie, and I didn’t see the point in
trying to cover my bruises so I went without make up, and pulled my hair back
in a ponytail.

I walked out my
front door and ran straight into a solid wall of muscle. The muscle had arms
and they encircled my waist and steadied me.

“Hey, Ellie,”
Jase drawled with his usual grin, only this time it vanished as soon as he got
a look at me.

“Jase, what are
you doing here?”

He didn’t answer
right away.

I frowned. “Jase?”

He blinked,
seeming disconcerted. “Yeah, I was just dropping this off for Cora. She left it
in my truck last night.”

“You went out
with Cora?” I asked with interest.

“Not on a date.
I went to see her play at Jones Hall, and I gave her ride home,” he said as if
it was no big deal.

I smiled with
interest. Cora hadn’t gotten home until late last night, so I was thinking it
might have been a little more than a ride home.
 
Whatever had happened, though, Jase didn’t
seem pleased about it.
 
A moment
later, I discovered that it was me causing the deep frown on his face.

“Ellie,” he
said hesitantly. “You don’t look good.”

“Thanks,
Jase.
 
I’d try a different line with
Cora.
 
Something like, ‘Wow! You
look amazing.’”

He flashed a
wry smile. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he replied cautiously. “Shit.
I’m just gonna ask. Did someone hit you?” Jase looked suddenly furious.

“No, I tripped
on a skateboard and fell down the stairs.” He cocked a brow as if he didn’t
believe me. I was getting a lot of that. “It’s true. I was running after Reed
and I wasn’t paying attention. I’m okay. I have a bump on the head and a
sprained wrist. I look worse than I feel.”

“You were
running after Reed?” He said this as if it was something he couldn’t wrap his
mind around. “I’d have guessed it would have been the other way around.”

Obviously, Reed
hadn’t told Jase we’d broken up. “I broke up with Reed and told him to work
things out with Amber.”

Jase’s
expression was unreadable. “Why were you running after him?”

I sighed. “He
was furious with me, and I wanted to do something to make it right.”

“Well,” he
replied slowly. “You told him to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. That
kind of shit screws with a guy’s ego. What the hell were you thinking?”

“Nothing that
makes any sense to me now,” I answered wearily. “I know I screwed up.”

“I don’t mean
it can’t be fixed.” He raked a hand through his short hair. “You didn’t listen
to my last advice or this wouldn’t have happened.”

Frowning, I
stared at him quizzically.
 
What
he’d said to me the night of the Halloween party, before I’d spoken to Amber,
came back to me. ‘Don’t let this shit fuck things up.’ I hadn’t realized at the
time how important that advice was.

“You have any
more words of wisdom?” I asked hopefully.

His gaze held
mine. “Talk to Reed. This time instead of ‘Why don’t you see your
ex-girlfriend?” I’d go with something like, ‘Why don’t I give you a blow job,’”
he said mimicking my earlier tone.

I almost
laughed because Jase was funny, but I was hurting too much. “He doesn’t want to
talk to me.
 
He won’t even take my
calls or answer my texts.”

“You’ve called
him?” Jase asked, surprised.

“Dozens of
times. I even drove to his house, but Amber was there. He probably doesn’t care
about anything I have to say.”

“Nah, I don’t
believe that.” He shook his head. “Try again. Once he gets a look at you, he’ll
care.”

“Jase, I don’t
want him to feel sorry for me.”

“Did you feel
sorry for him when he came back from Afghanistan with a crushed leg?” he
countered, watching me closely.

“It’s not the
same thing and you know it,” I said, my voice shaking with emotion.
 

“Because you’re
not in love with him?”

“No, because I
don’t want him to think I’m pathetic,” I cried. “Look at me.”

“So this is
about your pride,” Jase said quietly.