Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5)
Read Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5) Online
Authors: Lindsay Paige,Mary Smith,Rebecca Cartee
Their New Beginning
An Oh Captain, My Captain Novel
by Lindsay Paige and Mary Smith
Their New Beginning
Copyright 2015 by Lindsay Paige and Mary Smith
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All rights reserved. Except for the use of short passages for review purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced, in part or in whole, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording, or any information retrieval system, without prior permission in the form of writing by the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any actual places, products, or events mentioned are used in a purely fictitious manner.
Cover Designed by:
Bailey Ardisone
Edited by:
Rebecca Cartee
Table of Contents
Jax
It’s one of those rare nights both of our schedules allowed us to have dinner together at a decent time. Avery has my attention though. She’s sitting across from me, her head angled down with her eyes on her plate. All I can think about is how different this dinner is compared to those dinners after we were first married. Avery used to run her feet over mine and along my legs, laughing so much over something that she would spill her drink almost every single time. There was a permanent smile on her face. I’ve never met a happier person.
Now, she doesn’t even look at me. Her phone vibrates next to her plate, and she picks it up, responding to whatever it is. When she sets it down, I decide to try and talk to her. We’re almost finished with dinner and she hasn’t spoken a word.
“How was your day?”
Her golden brown eyes lift to meet mine. “Fine. Yours?”
“It was good. Happy I was able to have dinner with you.” I try to give her a full smile, but it doesn’t feel real.
“Glad you could find time out of your busy schedule to have dinner with your wife.” Her voice is sarcastically cheery.
“I always do my best to spend time with you, you know that.”
She gives me a small smile as if things are all better now when we both know they aren’t. I want to remind her that she could have spent the entire weekend with me when I went to the cabin with Ashton and everyone, but she “had things to do.” Part of me feels like she wants me to bend my schedule to her every wish, but she hasn’t rearranged her more flexible schedule to match mine.
Is that what’s been wrong with us? She thinks I’m too busy for her? We cooked dinner together, sat through an entire meal, and didn’t talk until just now. I didn’t give her those small touches like I used to and she didn’t look over my shoulder to make sure I was doing it right. This has been our life for months, and I can’t figure out the source of the problem. I can’t even remember the last time I held her hand.
Her phone vibrates again. She picks it up and then, without looking at me says, “I’ve got to go to the hospital. Be sure to turn on the dishwasher after you’ve loaded it.” Avery stands then disappears down the hall to our bedroom to change into her scrubs. She’s a head nurse at a local hospital and apparently, they need her. A few minutes later, she leaves without so much as a goodbye, much less an I love you.
With a sigh, I throw away the bit of dinner I had left and start cleaning up. I guess making sure I run the dishwasher is more important than a goodbye. There used to be a time when Avery wouldn’t let me leave the house, even to run to the store for five minutes, without kissing her and telling her how much I love her.
We’ve been married for four, almost five, years. I met her when I was playing basketball one summer with a bunch of the guys. I sprained my ankle, nothing serious, and she was on shift at the hospital when I arrived. She fixed me up and sent me on my merry way, but not until I got her number. Her smile got to me first. She was always smiling, and I watched her every time she was in the room. Avery had a bubbly personality and being young, with nothing to lose, I was going to ask her out.
Her first answer was a laughing no. Like she couldn’t believe a random stranger would come into her place of work and ask her out. After insisting on a bunch of unnecessary tests, so I wouldn’t have to leave just yet, she caved a little.
“Why do you want me to go on a date with you so badly?” she had asked.
“I love your smile,” I’d told her honestly. “Why wouldn’t I want to ask you on a date?”
Avery gave me that smile and finally agreed. After that first date, I was hooked. We started seeing each other and a short time later, I woke up just seconds before she did. I glanced over as she awakened and suddenly proposed. I wanted mornings like that for the rest of my life. She smiled and laughed, thinking I was kidding, but I wasn’t.
“Really?” she asked.
I nodded. “Let’s go elope today, Avery. I love you. I want to spend every day of my life with you.”
Once again, she gave me that smile, and we eloped. We’ve been together ever since. Somewhere along the way, I lost that smiling, laughing Avery. We aren’t the couple we used to be, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out what changed. I’ve been trying to fix things, but obviously, my attempts aren’t working.
Maybe I need to try harder. I think that we both let things slip to the side and I need to work to fix things before they get worse.
~ ~ ~
I fell asleep last night before Avery came home and woke up after she did. She’s in the kitchen, hip leaning against the counter, and eyes on the small TV as she eats a bowl of cereal.
“Hey,” I say brightly. Today is a new day and I’m going to right my world again. Avery gives me a small smile. I go over to give her a simple, quick kiss, but that damn phone vibrates causing her to look away as I end up kissing her cheek. “I’ve got a few errands to run before practice, is there anything you need?”
“Nope. I ran my errands the other day. Thanks though.” I grab my keys from the bowl on the counter and hear her continue, “Do you want to have lunch after practice?”
“The guys and I were going to put in some extra time at the gym,” I answer without much thought.
“Okay. Hockey
is
more important and comes first, right?”
Shit. I turn to face her, but she shakes her head.
“Don’t bother, Jax. Have fun working out with your buddies.” She dumps the rest of her cereal in the sink, letting the bowl fall with a loud clink. Before I can try to say anything, she walks out of the room. I glance down at my watch. Shit. I have to get going. With a sigh, I turn and leave.
Avery
I pick at the salad in front of me. It looks delicious, but I’m in no mood to eat anything. Yet again, Jax has found some way to put hockey first and me second. Everything in our marriage the past six months has sucked. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it’s not the same.
The Jax Godwin I fell in love with was a ball of jokes, laughter, and had the biggest heart ever. It wasn’t until last season, when the Gamblers didn’t make the playoffs, that everything changed.
Jax became more distant over the summer. All he did every day was get up, work out, and skate. He stopped touching me, flirting with me, and talking to me. Our conversations became more robotic and uncaring. I started to pick up more shifts at work, just because I was tired of feeling like a roommate and not a wife.
“Avery.”
I turn at the sound of my name and see another nurse, Jasmine, coming to me. She is probably my closest friend. She takes a seat across from me. “Are you okay?”
I nod.
“You are the worst liar.”
I shrug.
“I’m guessing everything is still the same at home.”
I nod.
“Why don’t you go home? Or go have a spa day? Something has to be better than hanging around this place.”
“I have to finish the schedule for the month.”
Jasmine rolls her eyes. “All work and no play make Avery very cranky.”
A small smile cracks my mouth.
“Go home. You can finish everything tomorrow.”
I sigh, running my hands through my chestnut brown hair. “I guess. I mean, when I go home, I can enjoy the
joys
of being alone in a big ol’ house.”
“Oh, Avery. It’ll be fine. Jax loves you. I know he does.”
“I’m glad you know,” I mumble, pushing the salad away from me.
“You love him, too. I know it. It’s just a rough patch.”
“A six month rough patch?”
She hisses through her teeth.
“Yeah, exactly.” I hang my head. “I can’t even get him to look at me anymore.”
“You don’t think he is…” she trails off on her question, but I know what she’s thinking.
“No. Jax would never cheat on me. I just don’t know how to fix our marriage. I want to suggest counseling or maybe a separation for a little while. Then again, we’re always away from each other. He’s on the road, and I’m at work.”
“Why don’t you take a vacation?”
I give her a pointed look. “When? It’s the middle of hockey season. Jax can’t just call in sick, especially since he’s the captain.”
“Well, travel with him for a few road games. I mean, he isn’t on the ice twenty-four/seven, is he?”
“No, but he
always
has something to do. He has to work out with the guys, has to keep the rookies in line, or make some grand entrance somewhere,” I sigh in defeat.
What’s the point of this conversation? Nothing. I can’t travel with him and he can’t take it break. That’s it.
I love Jax. I love him more than anything in this world, but his job is number one, and I don’t know how long I can deal with being number two in his life.
“I’m going home.”
I rush out the door and toward the nurses’ lounge to clock out. I don’t want to think about anything anymore. I want my life back. I want my Jax back.
When I reach my car, I sit there. I can’t figure out where I belong anymore. I had my life planned out perfectly until the day Jax fell into my life. I still remember that day. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it’s picture perfect in my mind.
Jax’s mop of messy black hair and a big smile made my heart beat faster. He asked me out every single time I walked into his room without fail. I said ‘no’ repeatedly, but eventually, he wore me down.
It was our first date that I think I fell in love with him. No, I know that is when I loved him. He and I had arranged a lunch date. I was working third shifts at the time, but knew that I would have plenty of time to take a quick nap and be ready for our date.
That isn’t what happened.
The morning shift was shorthanded, and I was required to stay. At that time, I was still a low-level nurse, and there wasn’t any point in arguing. Jax didn’t seem upset when I told him, and I almost panicked that he would never call me again. I mean, what sensible person cancels a date with Jax Godwin?
I remember the page to the nurses’ station about midway through my morning shift, and there he stood, waiting for me. He had on a short sleeve, very tight, black T-shirt, light colored jeans, and his hair looked like he just got out of bed. However, his smile captivated me the most.
We had strolled out to the small courtyard, and he brought me a bag lunch. Jax didn’t know what I liked, so he had six different sandwiches. We talked about everything in that hour, and I knew I was hooked.
I open my eyes, staring at my steering wheel. Where was that Avery now? Where was that Jax? How did our lives become this mundane? I swipe the tears away and head home.
When I pull into the driveway, I see Jax’s bright red Mustang gleaming in the winter sunlight. I sigh deeply and head into the house.
“Hey, I’m home,” I yell out, not sure if he is here or out with his teammates.
“Hey, have a good day?” He walks into the kitchen. I can tell that he already had a shower from his workout.
“Long. I left early. How was practice and your workout?”
“Good.” He pauses for a second, looking me over. “Everything okay? You don’t usually leave work early.”
“I have a lot on my mind. I need some time to clear my head,” I answer him softly because I’m not sure I’m ready for this argument.
“From work? Maybe you should take a vacation.” I know he knows the answer to that question. He is very careful with his tone.
“It’s not just work, Jax.” I guess it’s time to clear the air. “And why would I take a vacation by myself? Would you be able to take time off with me? No, you wouldn’t be able to.” My tone is harsh, but at this moment, I don’t care.
“I’m in the middle of a season, Avery. I can’t help that. If you want to go on vacation, call your sister or a friend. There’s no reason to get so upset over me not going when you know I can’t. I’ve never been able to; that’s not going to change.”
“Yeah, I know that, Jax. I’m well aware of what doesn’t change in our lives. I know what comes first in this household. I thought, for a second, that maybe you would have at least considered it. But, that’s fine. I’m getting used to the second chair!” My voice rises with each sentence, and my blood is pumping hard from emotions that accompany my words.
“You’re not second. You’ve never been second, Avery, but I can’t just leave my job like that. Would I love to take a vacation with you right now? Yes, absolutely, but that’s not possible, so no, I wouldn’t have considered it.”
“I’m not second? Are you seriously saying that right now?” I know that he can see the shock on my face. “Because you’re full of shit, Jax. When was the last time you told me that you loved me? When was the last time you even held my hand? When was the last time you tried to touch me or flirt with me? Fuck, when was the last time we had sex? Answer any of those questions then tell me I’m not second in your life.”
The tears are filling my eyes. It’s been so long since heard his laugh, or felt his soft loving touch on my skin.
Jax’s face falls. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happened, but it’s not just me, Avery. I tried to kiss you this morning, and you turned away. I’m trying, Avery.”
“So, you tried to kiss me for the first time in six months. Wow, I’m surprised that I didn’t fall at your feet.” I roll my eyes at him because I know how much he hates it. “I’m sure that I’m to blame as well in this. Look at it from my side for a moment. I work because I have nothing else. I don’t have a throng of fans lined up from here to Canada. I don’t have a gaggle of worshipers fighting and clawing to get close to me. All I have is my job. I keep up with this house, your schedule, and all your finances; what else do I have? All I get is lonely nights, late night phone calls, and the occasional date. And even that hasn’t happened in a very long time.”
“You have friends. Go out with them. Hell, go with me on a few road games. Yeah, I’ll have stuff to do, but there is usually a little window of free time, too. Or call your family and go on vacation.”
“A
little
window of time? Really. So, you can pencil me in. God, I don’t know whether I should be grateful or offended. How about this? I’ll get your work schedule together and my schedule, and then I’ll
pencil
in when we can be together. Maybe you can spare three minutes next Friday? You know, to say hi. Would that work for you?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m trying to work around my schedule because something, even a little window, is better than nothing.”
“You know what, forget it. I'm going to call Jasmine, and I'm going to take that vacation. Maybe time apart would be better." I give up arguing with him. There isn’t any point. He doesn’t even realize that our marriage is failing.