Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5) (8 page)

Jax

With the day off and being back in town, Avery and I were going to spend the day together. We’ve just slipped on our shoes to go out for lunch when there’s a knock on the door. I glance at Avery, but she shrugs in confusion as to who it could be. Standing on the other side of my door is my entire family.

Oh, boy.

I smile as my mother steps forward to hug me.

“Oh, Jax! I’ve missed you so much.” She kisses each of my cheeks. “Surprise! We haven’t seen you or our favorite daughter-in-law,” she peers around me at Avery, “in so long that we thought we’d make a trip here to see y’all.”

“Well, come on in then.”

Mom rushes over to Avery to hug her and kiss her cheeks. Dad gives me a hug and my older brother does too. Not that I don’t love my family, but a call would have been nice, at least to let me know my brother was coming. We don’t get along that well most of the time.

“Oh, Avery, I can’t get over how beautiful you look. I swear, you just get prettier every day,” Mom gushes.

“You do look great, Avery,” Dad adds.

One thing is for sure, my parents love Avery. They weren’t so sure at first after finding out we had eloped out of the blue so soon after meeting each other, but once they met her, they fell in love with her as well. I can’t help but eye the suitcases my dad and brother carried inside.

“We were just about to go out for lunch. Do y’all want to go or I could go pick something up and bring it back? I’m not sure what’s in the fridge.”

“There’s a couple of pizzas in there,” Avery suggests.

“Let’s do that then,” Mom nods. “We just got here! We want to catch up.”

I glance nervously at Avery. As far as my parents know, our marriage is fantastic and running smoothly. Avery gives me a small smile.

“I’ll carry the bags to the guest rooms then, I guess, while y’all catch up in the kitchen.” I take the bags from my dad and tell my brother, Stan, that he can follow me. I’m not carrying his luggage even if I had the extra hand. I put him in the smaller guest bedroom and place my parents’ things in the one I’ve been sleeping in. I quickly make the bed and make a mental note to give them clean sheets at some point.

As Stan and I enter the kitchen, I hear Avery casually ask, “So how long do y’all plan on staying?”

“Just for the weekend. We don’t want to intrude too much and that still gives us plenty of time to hang out with you two and see Jax play a game.” Mom grins at me.

“Great. This is a nice little surprise, Mom.” How bad is it that my first thought is I’m going to have to sleep in my own room for two nights?

The oven beeps, alerting us that it’s preheated, and I take the chance to pop the pizzas inside.

“Avery, darling, we can all watch the TV and find out how Jax is doing with his job, but what about you?”

“I’m enjoying my job.” I look over to see she’s smiling. “I don’t work at the hospital anymore though. I decided it was time I officially became Jax’s personal assistant and accountant. Working at the hospital wasn’t what I wanted anymore.”

When Stan speaks, I want to slap him up across the head. “So, you’re unemployed now, Avery? Pretty much, right?” His gaze turns to me. “Guess your wife isn’t so different than me, Jax.”

Stan is one of the laziest people I’ve ever known. He can’t keep a job, and for no reason other than he would rather not work. That leaves him still living at home with my parents and them footing the bills 99.9% of the time.

“Avery didn’t quit because she’s too lazy to get off her ass and make her own money, Stan. She–”

“Boys, don’t start,” Mom interrupts me.

“You could have made the trip without him,” I say, anyway. Avery takes my hand as a silent message to let it go. Facing my dad, I ask, “How are the renovations going?” He’s always finding something at their house that can be fixed up, redone, or torn down and rebuilt. We talk about that until the pizzas are done and then conversation takes a turn I’d rather it didn’t.

“Jax, are you planning something big for your lovely wife on your anniversary?” my mom asks.

“Of course,” I lie. “But I can’t really say what, now can I?”

She laughs. “I guess you’re right. How was your vacation, Avery? That was the last time I talked to Jax, and he said you went on a girls’ trip.” I really wish I could have had a warning before they arrived. Then I could have possibly talked them out of coming. All eyes turn to Avery as they wait to hear all about her trip.

“Well, it was fine. Lots of sand, clear water, you know, a typical vacation.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Are y’all planning summer vacations yet?” Dad asks. “You two didn’t go anywhere last year, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already figured out where you want to go and when.”

“They should be figuring out when I’ll have a grandchild,” Mom adds as casually as she can. I shake my head at her.

Keeping up with the image they have in their heads, I ignore my mother and answer, “We were thinking maybe New York and then taking another one at some point.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Avery look at me, but Mom speaks first. “Why New York?”

“Avery has always wanted to see a musical on Broadway, so it’s about time I take her, don’t you think?”

Mom smiles. “That’s sweet, Jax. I can remember when your father took me to Washington D.C. I had wanted to go for so long, but had never taken the time to go. He surprised me one year, and it was like a second honeymoon for us.” She looks lovingly at Dad. After all these years of being together, they still look at each other like they did on their wedding day, like every day is the happiest day of their lives because they are with each other. It hurts a little because that’s what I wanted for Avery and me and we don’t have it anymore.

Dad pats her hand and leans over to kiss her cheek. I glance at Avery and she seems to be feeling the same thing I am. The rest of lunch seems to go a bit more smoothly. We’re putting plates in the dishwasher when Mom comes over and puts an arm around Avery and then an arm around me.

“We’re old and it was a long way here, so we’re going to take a little nap. I just wanted to tell you two that we’re really proud of you both. You’ve each accomplished so much with your careers, but more importantly, together as a couple. We were a bit worried at first with the pace you two moved, but here you are, almost five years of marriage later, and you’re still together and in love. We love you both.” Mom kisses my cheek and then Avery’s.

We mutter thanks before she’s off to take a nap. The moment they all disappear to their respective guest bedrooms, Avery quickly, but quietly, runs to the bedroom, the tears in her eyes.

I follow her without a second thought. I reach the door just as it’s about to close.

“Avery,” I say softly, closing it behind me.

“I’m fine.” The cracking of her voice tells me otherwise.

I gently grab her elbow, turn her around, and pull her into my arms. “Don’t cry.”

Mumbling into my chest, she tells me, “I’m so tired of crying and feeling like I’ve let everyone down.”

“Then stop crying,” I whisper.

“Jax, you don’t look at me the same. I mean, you couldn’t even have phone sex with me, because I disgust you so much. I want us. I want you back.”

That’s what I want, but I still can’t do it yet. I’m not at a place to do that. “We need more time, Avery. I can’t just fix it in a couple of weeks.”

“You’re right. But I thought after almost a month, you could at least look at me again. I shouldn’t push you; I know that. Everything takes time, and I need to be patient.”

There’s a lot running through my mind and I’m unsure what to say. I didn’t have this trouble before she cheated. I never had doubts about our love or our future. Seeing my parents makes me remember Avery’s laugh and her constant smile when I would come through the door.

Avery leans back to look at me. After a moment, she says, “Thank you for telling your parents that we were going to New York. I think they actually believed you.”

“Why wouldn’t they? I do want to take you.” I almost feel guilty that we’ve been together for five years, have gone to so many places, but not one of them has been to where she wants to go the most. If we can work through our problems, then why wouldn’t I take her to New York the first chance I get?

“Maybe that can be number two on my bucket list.” She smirks.

I hold back my smile to appear serious as I reply, “If we do something on your bucket list, does that mean we’re going to swim with sharks?” My smile breaks free, making Avery’s smile widen in return.

“Sure, why not? I mean, you live dangerously, right?”

Laughing, I nod. “I do. I hope you’re okay with that, being dragged along with me, I mean.”

Avery’s still smiling when she says, “Anytime. Anywhere.”

Avery

I wash my face, and my hands are a little shaky. Jax’s parents and Stan have all gone to bed. I’m not sure if Jax is going to sleep in here, or possibly the couch in his office. I dry my face and slip on one of Jax’s old college T-shirts. Ever since the first time I spent the night with him, I’ve always worn one of his T-shirts to bed. I walk out of the bathroom and stop in my tracks.

Jax is in the bedroom. His back is to me, and he’s shirtless. Oh, how I’d love to rub my hands along his back right now. He slides off his jeans, and his muscular thighs make me weak in the knees. I need to focus and remember what he said. I need to be patient.

God, this sucks so badly. I want him. Now.

I shake my head and walk over to my side of the bed, not saying anything. I grab my bottle of lotion, and like every night, rub down my legs and arms. I catch a glimpse of Jax staring at me from the corner of my eye.

“I promise I’ll stay on my side of the bed,” I try to tease him, but I really don’t want to at all.

He clears his throat. “Oh, right, yeah.”

I switch off my light and slide into bed. It feels weird, and I’ve never felt this way before in bed with him. I stare up at the ceiling. “Do you remember the first time I spent the night at your place? You were living with two rookies and had a really crappy apartment.”

“I remember. It would be hard to forget with all I had to hear the next morning. Those walls were thinner than I thought.”

“We didn’t sleep that night, did we?” I smile at the memory.

“No,” he softly chuckles. “Did I ever tell you that I got in trouble at practice the next day? I kept nodding off while I was standing up, but it was worth it.”

“What?” I turn on my side to look at him. He’s still looking up. “You never told me that.” I laugh. “That was the first night we talked about kids, too.”

“I don’t think there was anything we didn’t talk about that night. I remember thinking you were too good to be true because you seemed so perfect.” His voice drops low. I didn’t know that either. \

“That’s funny because I thought the same thing about you. I fell in love with you that night,” I tell him honestly. “I called Regina the next day and told her I’d found my soulmate. Of course, she laughed at me, but I knew. I knew that I loved you and that we would always be together.” I think back to that night, and one memory stands out. “However, the vanilla ice cream may have sealed the deal.” I giggle, remembering him licking it off my body.

He smiles. “It was definitely the ice cream.” He turns on his side and mirrors my position. “Really? That night you knew?”

I nod. “I did. We talked about everything, did everything, and it was the most magical evening I’d ever had. It was all because of you, and I knew that you were the one. That’s why when you asked me to marry you three weeks later, I did. I never had a doubt in my mind. Until–” I trail off.

“Until I stopped acting like your husband and started this domino effect.” His face is sad.

I need to own up to my mistake, and this is a perfect time to tell him everything, because he really can’t leave the room.

“You may not want to hear this, but when he left, all I thought about was how I was the one who let you down. I couldn’t believe I’d ruined everything you and I had built together. I was so selfish, Jax. It’s not your fault we’re in the mess; it’s mine. I can’t blame you for it because I should have been woman enough to tell you what I was feeling and not hiding at the hospital night after night. But, I thought... I thought you stopped loving me and I wasn’t good enough for you anymore.” I shut my eyes.

“That’s why it’s my fault, too though. You’re my wife and the love of my life and I didn’t show you because I was too concerned about my job and how well I played.” I open my eyes at his words. “That bothers me every day, even more so that it took you pointing it out for me to realize it. I don’t know how I could have been too blind to see it. I never thought I would have picked hockey over anyone, especially not over you.”

“Jax, I knew that it was your love and job, but my whole life, I have always been number two. I was the baby, and even though Regina tried, she’s so much older than I am and she didn’t need me. Mom always picked whatever husband she was with at that time. For the first time in my life…” I sigh, feeling the pain of my life washing over me. “You treated me like number one for the longest time and then it stopped. And like all the other times in my life, I was clawing to be number one again. I got tired of it, so I just gave up. I never thought you would hurt me like that. I trusted you that much.”

“I wish you hadn’t just given up,” Jax tells me softly. “It’s over and done with now, though. I’m sorry for hurting you, Avery.”

I take a chance and move closer to him. His whole body tenses. He knows that I’m only wearing a T-shirt and he’s only in boxers.

“Pretend you still trust me,” I beg as he lets me touch his cheek. He doesn’t move, but he watches me lean in. Even though I want to do more, I briefly touch his lips with mine. I love the feel of his soft full lips against mine. When I release him, I roll over to my side of the bed and close my eyes.

~ ~ ~

The next day with Jax’s parents is wonderful. I love his parents, and even though they doubted our relationship at first, they have never treated me differently. I do agree with Jax that Stan is a lazy bum, but he’s family and I’ll keep my mouth quiet.

The game is good. Although the Gamblers lose, Jax’s still holding strong in the number one spot in points.

It was sad to see his parents leave, but I’m a little glad because tonight is our re-creation of date number three. While Jax is working out, I go shopping. I buy a new dress, just like I did five years ago. I put Jax’s black suit out on the bed. He slept in the bed again, and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

I send him several texts, asking him out and telling him to wear the suit on the bed. I get ready in the guest room, and when he comes home, I hide in the office. I don’t want him to see me. After a little bit, I go out the front door and knock on it again. Just like he did when he came to pick me up on our date.

This date is more special because it’s the first time Jax told me he loved me. I thought he was crazy because it was only our third date. However, he swore he did. I giggle at the thought now.

I look at my reflection in the front door window. I purchased a short, white chiffon, strapless dress. Jax’s loves when my hair is down, so I kept it in my natural wavy mess. He also hates a lot of makeup, so I kept it light.

When he opens the door, there is a smile on his face. I know that smile, and I've missed it desperately. “Avery.” He looks me over. “You’re gorgeous.”

“You look very sexy in that suit, Mr. Godwin. Now, would you like to enjoy a night out on the town?”

“With you, yes. But hold on,” he holds up one finger, “I forgot my shoes.” He runs over to the couch and puts them on.

“You’ll have to drive. My
shoes
make it impossible to drive.” I stick out my leg showing my white, very high heels.

“I love your shoes, and I don’t mind driving.”

He holds the door open for me, and we hit the road to his favorite casino. I’ve already hit the bank and gotten money for him. I like the slots because of all the pretty lights, I think. Jax’s a Blackjack guy. He always has been. He valets the car and holds my hand as we walk in. A few heads turn at seeing him because he is well known in Las Vegas, but no one says anything.

After he changes out for some chips, he pulls the chair out for me at the Blackjack table. Of course, I have no clue what’s happening, but Jax’s face becomes serious. I love that face, too. When the cards are dealt again, I tell him I’m going over to the slots. I slide in some cash and become hypnotized by the spinning fruits.

I have no clue how long I sit there, but Jax grabs my hand and pulls me away to the steakhouse that’s nestled inside the casino.

“I’m hungry,” he moans close to my ear.

Dinner goes perfectly. We laugh, eat way too much food, and I've had too many glasses of wine, but it’s the best time we’ve had in months. We’re standing by the valet booth, waiting for the Mustang, and the biggest smile is still across on my face. This is what we needed. I can feel our connection growing. The Mustang pulls up when I hear a voice call me.

“Avery? Is that you?”

Every drop of blood drains from my face and my heart stops beating. Standing in front of me is Rob. My one-night stand. The guy I cheated on Jax with.

“Rob?” I can’t be sure it’s him. I could be having a bad dream.

“How are you?” he asks as if he’s an old dear friend.

“I’m…. I’m fine,” I stammer out. “What are you doing here?”

“I've just finished meeting with a business associate. I’m only in town until the morning.” His eyes look me up and down.

I feel Jax squeeze my hand “This is my husband, Jax,” I introduce him, praying that he’ll just leave.

“I'm Rob, nice to meet you.” He sticks his hand out to shake it. I’m paralyzed as I watch Jax shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Jax says smoothly. “I don’t think we’ve met before. Did you work with Avery?”

He must think Rob is a doctor or possibly a nurse. I need to get him away from him before he figures it out. “Jax, I think I had too much wine, could we please go?” I try to push him to the car, but I’m not able to move.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t work with Avery.” Rob’s British accent is thick. “I met her last month when she was on vacation.”

I gasp. That fucker just told Jax.

In an instant, I feel Jax’s body tense up. He’s figured it out. He turns to me and, in a gaze I never want to see in my life, Jax’s face turns cold and hard. He isn’t even this angry on the ice.

“He’s the guy? I just shook the hand of the man you cheated on me with and you let me?” Jax turns to Rob. “What the hell kind of man are you?” His voice is loud, and people are looking.

Rob gives him an evil smirk. It makes my skin crawl. “I guess I would be the
real
man who your wife was looking for because apparently you weren’t good enough.”

My mouth drops at his words and before I can react, Jax yells, “You son of a bitch!” and decks Rob in the jaw.

I scream out, “Jax!” but he’s already to the driver’s side of the car. I quickly jump into the passenger side, and he spins off. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I should do. I do know that I hang on because Jax is driving like a mad man. I’m thankful we make it home in one piece.

He opens the door to the house and heads straight to the small bar next to the kitchen. I can see his knuckles are swollen.

“Jax, let me look at your hand. Please, I think you're bleeding.” I try to reach for him, but he jerks away.

“No. You’re not touching me. Get the hell away from me. I can’t believe you couldn’t find some way to say something before I said, ‘Nice to meet you’ to the guy you fucked!” He stares at me. As I open my mouth to say I’m sorry, his eyes go wide. “Are you still seeing him? Was one night not enough for you and you had to find him again?” he yells at me in horror.

“I swear I haven’t seen him since that night,” I explain to him. “I thought he was from England. I had no clue that I would ever run into him again. I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do. Please, Jax, we’ve done so well tonight. This was supposed to be the night you said you loved me,” I beg him.

“There’s not a chance in hell of that happening now.” He grits his teeth at me, and I feel like he’s stabbing my heart over and over. “Since I’ve met him, I have to agree about how fucking much of a
nice
guy he is. I know why you so easily did it now.”

I try to say something, but he cuts me off again.

“This isn’t ever going to go away, Avery! Every time I turn around, what you did is right there and now, I get to put a face on the man you risked our marriage for! I don’t know how you can stand here. I feel filthy, and all I did was shake his hand.”

I feel the bile in my throat. “Jax, stop it. You know he means nothing to me. You know that I only love you. Don’t do this, please. I’m begging you. Please don’t push me away again.” Tears are about to spill over. This can’t be happening. I can’t go through it again.

“I don’t know if I should be grateful that he means nothing to you or even more fucking pissed because someone who meant
nothing
ruined everything!” he yells right in my face, making me jump.

Jax’s never scared me before. This time, it’s different. This time, there’s no going back. I’ve broken him. I’ve ruined it all. I watch him walk away from me,
again
. I can’t deal with this anymore. I grab my keys and head to out the door.

Regina doesn’t say a word when I knock on her door. She holds out her arms and lets me cry on her shoulder.

~ ~ ~

I don’t sleep. I lay on the couch, listening to the sounds outside. Regina lives in the city where there is constant traffic and people out and about. I miss Jax and our house. The quiet subdivision we live in would never be this noisy. I send a text to Jax, letting him know I’m at Regina’s and what his schedule is for tomorrow. I only do it because I don’t want him to think I'm out with Rob. I know that he would. In addition, I want him to know what is scheduled. I would never mess up his career.