First and Again (20 page)

She pushed her hair behind one ear and glanced at the teacher. “I didn’t mean to push that kid so hard. It was an accident.”

“I kind of suspected it was an accident,” Ms. Stewart said gently. “Why were you in the elementary area of the school? You know high school kids aren’t supposed to hang out there.”

She bowed her head once more. “I know.”

“So why did you sneak out of your class to go there during elementary recess this morning?”

She remained silent. Bridget took her hand.

“It’s okay, honey. You can tell us, whatever it is.”

She shook her head in misery, her voice telling Bridget she was close to tears. “I can’t, Mom.”

“Rebecca, if you don’t tell me your side of the story, all I’ve got is a nine-year-old with a very big bump on his head who says you deliberately pushed him down. With that information, I have no choice but to punish you.”

“Honey, please tell us what’s going on,” Bridget begged. She felt close to tears herself.

“Are you sure you can’t tell us?” Principal Stewart asked again.

A tear slipped down her cheek, but she shook her head no.

Gloria Stewart sighed. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give you a three-day suspension. If you decide you want to talk anytime during those three days, give me a call. But I have to tell you that the school’s policy is that after four infractions of school rules there is an automatic expulsion. You’ve already been punished for smoking in the school, and then there was the incident with the stink bomb. I don’t have to tell you you’re skating very close to the edge.”

Bridget closed her eyes and swallowed. Her worst nightmare for her daughter was coming true.

* * *

Since Rebecca was serving her suspension and Leslie flatly refused to go to school, Bridget decided to take Rebecca with her to Jack’s ranch after she finished her chores in the bar the next morning. At least Rebecca could ride, which always made her feel better. While Rebecca and Jack were riding, she and Leslie could bake cookies. They could all use a lift.

They were all subdued as they ate the delicious homemade soup Gladys had prepared for lunch, though none of them had much appetite. As soon as the dishes were cleared, Leslie and Rebecca retreated into Jack’s office to play video games. After getting a casserole ready for supper, Gladys left for the day.

Jack made a fresh pot of coffee and poured her a cup. “I tried to get Becky to talk about what happened with that kid at school the other day, but she wouldn’t budge.”

Her heart plummeted. “I thought if she’d talk to anyone it would be to you.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”

“It’s not your fault. I just wish I knew what was going on with her. And with Leslie. Is she still saying she has those tummy aches?”

He handed her a mug. “Yes, and she’s wet the bed every night this week. Every time I suggest she go to school, she bursts out in tears. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

She chose her words carefully. “Have you thought of changing schools?”

“Pretty hard to change schools when there’s only one in Paradise.”

“What about sending her to a school outside of Paradise? Obviously something is going on at the school that’s upsetting her.”

“We don’t know that for sure. None of the teachers I’ve talked to know of any problems.”

“That doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Leslie used to be so happy. Something changed that.”

“I still think she has some kind of bug.” His jaw clenched, his mouth a thin, stubborn line. She sighed. She’d never convince him there was anything wrong at the school.

The phone rang and Jack rose to answer it, looking as if he were glad for the interruption. He said a few words into the phone and then held it out to her.

“It’s for you. It’s Gloria Stewart.”

She closed her eyes and groaned. Was this more bad news? And did everyone in town know about her and Jack? She took the phone from him with a sigh.

“Hello, Ms. Stewart. What can I do for you?”

“Can you and Rebecca meet me at my office at three-thirty?” she asked. “Something’s come up that I need to discuss with the two of you.”

“What is it? What’s going on?”

“It’s regarding Rebecca’s suspension. I prefer to speak with you in person, if you don’t mind.”

A knot of tension settled in her stomach. “Yes, of course. We’ll be there at three-thirty.”

She hung up the phone, wondering if what the principal had to say would help or hurt Rebecca.

* * *

Principal Stewart ushered them into her tiny office. “Please, have a seat. Thank you for coming.”

Bridget sat, her stomach threatening to dislodge her lunch. “You said this meeting was in regard to Rebecca’s suspension.”

“Yes. I hope you can bear with me for a few moments longer. I’m waiting for some additional information.”

She wanted to scream in frustration. It was like waiting for the executioner’s axe to fall. She glanced at Rebecca’s unhappy face and squeezed her hand for reassurance. She wished she had more to offer.

A knock sounded at the door. The secretary stuck her head in. “I have some students here who say they need to talk to you very urgently, Ms. Stewart. They say they have some information about Rebecca.”

Rebecca’s head snapped up. Ms. Stewart smiled. “Good. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this. Bring them in.”

A moment later Tina’s daughter Shawna, and a little girl of about eight crowded into the principal’s office, making the room feel even more claustrophobic. Rebecca glared at Shawna.

“What are you doing here?”

“Trying to help you, you idiot.”

Ms. Stewart cleared her throat. “Well, now that the pleasantries are over, Shawna, maybe you can cut to the chase. Why are you here?”

She put her hands on the younger girl’s shoulders. “My little sister Jenny told me what happened. Rebecca might have pushed that kid but he pushed her first.”

“Is that true, Rebecca?” Ms. Stewart asked.

Reluctantly she nodded. “Yes.”

“Why were you in the elementary area?”

When Rebecca said nothing the principal turned to Shawna. “Do you know why?”

“She was trying to protect Leslie.”

“Shawna!”

“Why don’t you want Shawna to tell us you were trying to protect Leslie?” Bridget asked.

Rebecca turned to her, her eyes tearing. “Because Leslie begged me not to tell you or Jack.”

“If something’s going on with Leslie, you have to tell us. That’s the best way to protect her.”

She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. “She didn’t want me to tell you that some of the kids are teasing her, a lot. She’s too embarrassed.”

“Is that true, Jenny?” Ms. Stewart asked the little girl.

Jenny nodded. “The boys always tease her at recess and lunchtime, especially Billy Thompson. He was teasing her the other day and she was crying so hard she peed her pants.” The little girl hung her head. “Billy really teased her then. He was laughing at her and calling her a retard. Then he pushed her in the snow. Leslie was crying and crying.”

Bridget flinched, her heart aching for Leslie.

“Then what happened, Jenny?” the principal asked gently.

“Then Rebecca came and told Billy to leave Leslie alone. He just laughed at her. When she tried to help Leslie get out of the snow, Billy knocked her over and started kicking her. Rebecca got up and gave him a big push to get him away. He fell and hit his head against the swings.”

“Is that what happened, Rebecca?”

She nodded at the principal. “Leslie’s been so upset lately and hasn’t wanted to go to school. That didn’t seem right to me, so I went to find her during the little kids’ recess. When I found her on the playground those kids were teasing her and she was crying. I saw Billy kick her! I just wanted to get her away from them.”

“So you don’t deny pushing Billy Thompson?”

“He pushed me first! And then he kicked me. I thought he was going to hurt Leslie.”

“I understand, and don’t worry. Billy Thompson will be punished. Under the circumstances I’m going to lift your suspension. But I want you to promise me you won’t try to handle things on your own again. If there’s a problem you have to let the teachers know.”

Bridget leaned forward in her chair, feeling both relieved and angry. “So tell me, Principal Stewart, how is it Leslie has been bullied for weeks now and none of the teachers stepped in to help her or even seemed to know about it?”

Gloria Stewart looked chagrined. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. I’ll have to speak to her teacher.”

Bridget got to her feet. She was more convinced than ever that Paradise school was not the place for Leslie. “I will be discussing this matter with Leslie’s father. I’m sure he’ll be interested in learning how little this school cares about the safety and well-being of his daughter. And I’m sure other parents will be interested, as well.”

“Mrs. Grant—”

“Come on, Rebecca. We’re leaving.”

Shawna and Jenny followed them out. “Thanks for speaking up, girls,” she said. “You were both very brave. You’re good friends to Rebecca and Leslie.”

Jenny looked at her shoes. “Me and the other kids were scared of Billy and his friends. That’s why we never told on them.”

She put her hand on Jenny’s small shoulders. “Well, you spoke up now. That’s the important thing.”

Tina was waiting for them in the empty hallway near the exit to the school. “How did it go?”

“The principal lifted Rebecca’s suspension.” Her whole body sagged in relief and her eyes filled with tears. “I suppose I have you to thank for this.”

“The girls told me what happened. I just encouraged them to tell the truth.”

“Thank you.” With a little cry, she went to Tina. Her friend enfolded her in her arms.

“It’s going to be okay now,” Tina soothed. “Rebecca can go back to school and her record will be wiped clean.”

“Yes, that’s wonderful.” She pulled away from Tina, then wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “But what about Leslie? Is that boy going to continue to bully her? These last few weeks have been a nightmare for her.”

“Don’t worry about Billy,” Tina said, a determined look on her face. “I’ll speak to his parents. I’m going to make very sure he doesn’t bully anybody ever again.”

She had no doubt Tina would deliver on her promise. She could almost feel sorry for the kid.

But not very much.

Chapter Eighteen

Jack threw his coat on to a kitchen chair as he entered his house. Bridget gave him a worried glance as she put a tray of cookies into the oven. He’d asked her to stay with Leslie early this morning while he had a meeting with Gloria Stewart at the school. Leslie sat at the kitchen table with her coloring books. She looked up when he sat next to her.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, Sunshine. How are you feeling?”

She shrugged and continued to color, refusing to meet his gaze. He longed to see one of her sunny smiles.

“I just talked to Principal Stewart at the school,” he told her. “She said that Billy Thompson is being punished for bullying you. He won’t bother you anymore, so you can go back to school tomorrow.”

She jumped from her chair, her crayons scattering. “No! I won’t go! You can’t make me!”

She ran crying from the room. A moment later he heard her bedroom door slam. Bridget started to go after her but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Don’t. When she calms down a little I’ll talk to her again. She’ll be fine.”

She shrugged off his hand. “She’s not fine! She’s been through a traumatic experience and you’re asking her to go back to school to the same kids who bullied her. Do you think she’ll just forget it ever happened?”

“What am I supposed to do, Bridget? Let her stay at home forever?”

“No, of course not. But we have to find some way to make her feel safe.”

He arched an eyebrow. “We?”

She frowned, her face flushing. “You. You have to find some way to make her feel safe. Maybe she needs counseling.” He saw her take a deep breath. “Or maybe she needs a different school environment.”

He tensed. “There’s nothing wrong with Paradise school. Principal Stewart assured me that Leslie would be fine. She’s instituted a policy of zero tolerance to bullying and has instructed all the teachers to look for any signs of it in the school.”

“Well, that’s great, Jack, but where were Principal Stewart and all the other teachers when Leslie was being abused? If it wasn’t for Rebecca and Tina’s girls, we’d never have found out about it and she would have continued to suffer.”

Anger curled in his stomach and his body stiffened. “Are you suggesting I don’t have the best interests of my daughter at heart?”

She touched his arm, her face softening. “No, of course not. I know how much you love Leslie. I just think that maybe you’re not looking at this objectively.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Even if there wasn’t a problem with bullying at Paradise school—” she held up her hand when he tried to interrupt, “—which may or not be dealt with, is the school meeting all of her needs?”

“The school is meeting her needs just fine.”

“Is it teaching her life skills? Is it teaching her how to keep herself safe? Can it show her that there are other kids like her out there in the world, that she’s not the only one who’s different?”

He took a step closer to her, his hands shaking with anger. “The only one who’s defective, you mean.”

Bridget recoiled. “Jack! That’s not what I meant and you know it! Leslie has Down syndrome. That’s a fact of life. You have to deal with it.”

“I’ve been dealing with it for ten years, Bridget. I don’t appreciate you telling me how to raise my daughter.”

“I’m not trying to do that.” She put her hand on his arm, and looked beseechingly into his face. “Leslie has to learn to do some things for herself and I don’t think Paradise school is doing that. It simply doesn’t have the resources she needs.”

He pushed away her hand. “I’m responsible for Leslie.”

“Yes, you are.” She took another deep breath as if steeling herself for what she was going to say next. “And it’s up to you to teach her how to live in the world. She can’t do that if you do everything for her.”

He stared at her, stunned by her words. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, Jack.” She took one of his hands. “You’ve been caring for Leslie by yourself for so long you don’t even realize you do everything for her. You dress her, you bathe her, you cut up her food for her, all things she should be doing for herself. You won’t even let her ride around the ring on Molly without two people holding on to her!”

“She could fall!”

“So she falls! That’s what kids do.” She looked into his eyes and he found he was helpless to look away. “She doesn’t know how to protect herself. She has no idea how to live safely out in the world. The day I took her to the city with me, she wandered off at McDonald’s. I was frantic with worry. Finally, I discovered that she’d followed some kids out into the parking lot. She has to be taught to be wary of strangers, just like any other kid.”

“You lost my daughter in McDonald’s?” Why was he just hearing this now? What else had she kept from him?

“The point I’m trying to make is that she has to be given an opportunity to learn. She’s been sheltered to the point of it being dangerous for her. Tell me, if Leslie were ‘normal’, would you do all these things for her or would you have taught her to be more self-sufficient?”

His chest tightened with anxiety. This was territory he didn’t delve into, even on his own. “Don’t think because we slept together you’ve got any kind of right to tell me how to raise my daughter.”

She took a step back, dropping his hand. “That’s not what I was trying to do.”

“Isn’t it? You’re not Leslie’s mother, so don’t make any presumptions about her or me. Your own daughter has more than enough problems to deal with. Leave mine alone.”

He regretted his words the instant they spilled from his mouth. She stared at him a moment, hurt flickering in her eyes. Then she looked away, blinking rapidly.

“Don’t worry, Jack. I won’t presume anything.” She headed for the closet at the back door.

“Bridget—”

She pushed her arms through her jacket. “I thought I could talk to you as a friend. But I see that’s not possible. It’s too bad Leslie will have to suffer because of your stubbornness.”

She was out the door before he could reach her. He saw her run to her car and race out of his yard as if she couldn’t wait to get away.

He couldn’t blame her. He’d hit her with a couple of low blows.

But she had to understand that there was no way he was taking Leslie out of Paradise school. His chest tightened at the thought of sending Leslie away. Who would look after her, who would make sure she didn’t hurt herself?

No, Leslie was staying right here where she belonged.

* * *

When she arrived back at the bar, Bridget pulled the old Hoover out of the closet and started to vacuum the floor, pushing the machine around the room with short, angry bursts. Her body still vibrated with anger after her fight with Jack. It hurt that he thought she was such an abysmal mother that her own daughter was a complete mess. And it cut her to the quick that he believed she would use the fact they were sleeping together to try to influence him.

Was that what she was doing?

She pushed the vacuum a little harder, banging into a table.
No
. She would have said what she said to him even if they’d never slept together.

Mavis raised an eyebrow at her when she pushed over a chair with the Hoover, but said nothing. The coffee row boys were watching as well, and neither she nor Mavis wanted to get into anything in front of them.

She cleaned the bathrooms and then went into the restaurant to give the place a thorough cleaning. Maybe if she worked hard enough she’d forget her fight with Jack.

Mavis entered the restaurant while Bridget scrubbed at some spilled milk in the cooler.

“Is everything okay, Bridget?”

“Just ducky.”

“That isn’t any kind of an answer.”

“Well, it’s the only one I’ve got right now.”

She threw up her hands. “For heaven’s sake, Bridget, can’t we for once have a civilized conversation?”

She got up off her hands and knees and faced her mother. “You want to know what’s going on? Fine. Leslie is traumatized, Rebecca wants to move back to San Francisco to be with her father and Jack is angry at me for butting into his family’s business. Is that enough information for you?”

“You and Jack had a fight?”

“Yes.” She blinked rapidly, trying to ward off the tears that had threatened to fall ever since she left the ranch. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Mavis rubbed her back soothingly. “Rebecca really wants to go back to San Francisco? I thought she was fitting in here.”

“She misses her father, and even though Ben can barely be bothered to pick up the phone to call her, he’s the hero in her eyes.”

“That sounds rather familiar, doesn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” she said, swiping at a tear with the back of her hand.

“It’s exactly like it was with you at that age. Your father was always your hero even though he never once came to see you or Celia after we left.”

“That was different.”

“How was it different? Neither your father nor Ben took any kind of responsibility for their children.”

“It’s different because you took us away from Daddy and wouldn’t let him see us again. I’ve begged Ben to contact Rebecca.”

“Is that what you think? That I forbade your father from seeing you girls?” Mavis looked genuinely shocked.

“Yes, he told me so.”

“What?”

“That teddy bear that Daddy sent me. There was a note tucked inside his shoe. Daddy said he loved me but he couldn’t see me because you wouldn’t let him.”

“Bridget, that’s not true! I told him he had to shape up before he saw you girls again.”

“It doesn’t matter. He believed you wouldn’t let him see us, whatever he did. That’s why he stayed away. And then he died in that accident and it was too late to ever see him or talk to him again.”

Mavis’s face was lined with sadness. “He knew what I meant. If he’d really wanted to, he could have visited with you girls.”

She shook her head stubbornly, tears threatening. “No, he loved me. He would have come for me if you would have let him.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” Mavis enveloped her in a hug. “I’ve made so many mistakes with you. Don’t do the same with your daughter.”

She held herself stiff in her mother’s embrace. Dear God, was she really repeating her mother’s mistakes? If she was, how could she justify staying in Paradise one more minute?

* * *

Bridget walked the half mile to Celia’s shop in the cold afternoon sun. By the time she reached the shop her face was numb. But with all the anger and confusion pumping through her veins, she barely noticed the cold.

“Men are idiots,” she blurted as she walked through the door.

Celia turned to face her, her scissors poised over the young man seated in her chair. She grinned.

“You’ll have to forgive my sister, Trent. She tends to speak first and ask questions later.”

He eyed her uncertainly in the mirror. “No problem.”

Her face flamed in embarrassment as she helped herself to coffee. When would she ever learn to keep her big mouth shut?

Celia finished cutting his hair, and he quickly stepped out of the chair and paid for his cut. He gave Bridget one last wary glance before grabbing his jacket and hastily leaving the shop. Celia chuckled.

“You’re not exactly good for business, you know. You’re scaring my customers.”

She groaned. “I’m sorry. I’ve already had two fights today. I really don’t want to try for a third.”

Celia stopped sweeping Trent’s hair from the floor to look at her. “Two fights? What’s going on?”

Taking a deep breath, she told her sister about the fight she’d had with Jack. “He’s totally pigheaded and unreasonable when it comes to Leslie. Why can’t he see that he’s not helping her by doing everything for her?”

“I don’t know, sweetie, but I don’t think that’s a fight you can win. There’s no way he’ll send Leslie to a school away from home.” She swept the hair into a dustpan and deposited it in the garbage. “It sounds like this fight has upset you quite a bit.”

“Of course it has. Leslie was devastated by the bullying at her school and he wants her to forget it ever happened. And then he said...” She shook her head and lowered her gaze, unable to continue.

“What did he say?” Celia asked gently.

She looked up into her sister’s eyes and saw only concern there. “He said I should look out for my own daughter and leave his alone. He said Rebecca had more than enough problems for me to concentrate on.” She closed her eyes. “He’s right.”

Celia sat next to her, draping a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Rebecca’s doing great here. She’s had a couple of setbacks, but she’ll be fine. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Maybe. But he’s right about one thing. I do need to concentrate on my daughter. She’s adamant about moving back to San Francisco after the school term is over in June. She misses her dad.” She sighed. “Mom says Ben abandoned Rebecca just like our dad abandoned us. That was my second fight of the day.”

“Well,” Celia said carefully. “She has a point. It’s not like our dad ever came to see us after we moved here.”

“If Mom hadn’t moved us here in the first place, we could have been together.”

“It’s not like we went to the ends of the earth, Bridge. Paradise is within driving distance of Minneapolis, and even back then we had a phone. If he’d really wanted to contact us, he could have.”

She stubbornly hung on to her memories of her father. “I can’t believe he would have just abandoned us unless Mom forbade him from seeing us. He was so kind and so sweet.” She closed her eyes and could see her father tossing her in the air and unerringly catching her. “He loved us. I’m sure he did.”

Celia squeezed her shoulder. “I know he did, honey. And if things had been different, we would have been together. You were pretty young. You probably don’t remember how things were.”

“What do you mean?”

“They weren’t happy. They fought a lot. I used to hide at the top of the staircase and listen to them.” She shuddered. “It used to scare me. He was so angry.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Why don’t I remember this?”

“Because Mom did her best to shelter us. Maybe that was the wrong decision.”