First and Again (23 page)

“Ben is very good at manipulation,” Bridget said, wiping her eyes. “By tomorrow he’ll have her completely convinced her life will be perfect if she moves to San Francisco.” She blew her nose. “I don’t know what to do. I won’t let her go to California with Ben on her own. I know he’d never look after her properly. But if I fight him in court, she’ll resent me for trying to keep her away from her father. I don’t have any choice. If Rebecca wants to go, I’ll have to go with her.”

The thought made her heart ache painfully. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing Jack.

But she couldn’t imagine her life without Rebecca either.

“Maybe you can reason with him. He hasn’t been interested in seeing Rebecca for months. What’s different now?”

“He says he wants me to work for him at a new catering business he’s opening. I don’t know why he’s willing to go to such lengths to get me to come back, but I need to find out. I have an old friend in San Francisco in the restaurant business. Maybe he’s heard something.” She dabbed her eyes with the tissue once more. “This is my fault for taking Rebecca so far away.”

Mavis shook her head. “You didn’t have any choice but to move back home. You had no money and no support from Ben or anyone else, and Rebecca was close to being out of control. You made the right choice in moving, even if it took your daughter away from her father.”

“You’re right. I made the only choice I could.” Bridget hesitated. Her hands trembled but she needed to ask the question foremost in her mind for so many years. “Did you make the right choice when you took us away from our father?”

Mavis stared at her, surprised by her question. For a long time she was silent. At last she sighed.

“Yes, I did. We couldn’t live with him anymore. You probably don’t remember, but he drank.”

Her mother’s statement came as a shock. She didn’t remember any of this. “You mean he was an alcoholic?”

“I’m afraid so, honey.”

Mavis stared off into space as if looking at old memories. “His drinking gradually got worse over time. At first he’d only drink on weekends, but eventually it was every day. He was a different person when he drank, mean and ugly.” Bridget saw her swallow. “He lost his job because of his drinking, and we were scrambling to survive. But no matter how little money we had, he managed to spend most of it on booze. Then one day he came home drunk and hit me. He was angry because I tried to get him to go to AA. The next day when he sobered up he apologized over and over and swore it would never happen again, but he still adamantly refused to go to AA. That’s when I knew that nothing would change unless he wanted it to. I loved your dad and I didn’t want to leave him, but I had you and Celia to think about. I had to make a living for the two of you, and I had to make a safe home. I contacted Uncle Frank about working here, and when he said he’d love to have us, I packed up our car the same day and headed to Paradise.”

“Did you tell Dad where you were going?”

“Of course. I told him that as soon as he quit drinking we could all live together again. I hoped that our leaving might be the catalyst he needed to make him quit. For a while he kept in contact, and even sent you and Celia those teddy bears. But then he disappeared and I never heard from him again. I even hired an investigator to search for him at one point, but he couldn’t find him. I had no idea what had happened to him until ten years later when the police came here and told us he’d been killed.”

Bridget was stunned by this news. All this time she’d believed her mother was at fault for her family’s breakup. “Did you love Dad?”

Mavis nodded, blinking back tears. “Very much. Leaving him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” She took Bridget’s hand. “He was a good man, sweetheart. I want you to remember him that way. He just couldn’t overcome his addiction.”

“So that letter he sent me in the teddy bear? What did it mean?”

“I guess he was angry with me because I told him he had to be sober if he wanted to see you girls. I never forbade him from visiting you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this years ago?”

“I didn’t want you to hate him. I know you have good memories of your dad and that’s what I want for you.”

“All these years I’ve blamed you for everything.” The irony of the situation suddenly hit her. She blamed her mother for the divorce just as Rebecca blamed her. Both she and her mother had borne the brunt of their child’s anger because they hid the ugly truth about their fathers.

“What am I going to do, Mom?” she said. “How can I tell my daughter that her father is blackmailing me into returning to San Francisco? I don’t even know if she’d believe me.”

“I don’t know, honey,” Mavis said. She stroked Bridget’s hair, profound sadness on her face. “Maybe she needs to hear the truth, even if she doesn’t believe it right now. If I’d told you the truth years ago, you and I might have been able to have a better relationship.”

Bridget smiled as years of anger left her. “The good news is that it’s not too late for us.”

* * *

Bridget walked the half mile to Celia’s shop to use her phone. Ben and Rebecca were visiting in Mavis’s apartment, and she didn’t want either of them to overhear her conversation. Besides, she couldn’t stand being in the same room as Ben.

She’d called Celia earlier and told her of Ben’s arrival and his ultimatum. When she arrived at the shop, Celia led her to the office at the back of the building where she could talk on the phone without being overheard.

“Good luck, Bridge.” She gave her a quick hug and then closed the door.

She sat at the desk and punched in her friend’s phone number from memory. Keith Morton had been her first employer after she received her initial training. He’d been the one who’d encouraged her to go to France for further training. He was close to eighty now and retired, but still had contacts in the industry. Her hands shook as she held the receiver and waited for Keith to answer. She nearly cried with relief when she heard his voice.

“Bridget, what a wonderful surprise! Where are you?”

She filled him in on her location and the reason for her call. After taking a deep breath she came to the point.

“Why is Ben so keen to have me work for him that he’d resort to blackmail? Surely, no one’s going to patronize a catering company whose chef is known to have made a whole wedding ill.”

“Ah. Apparently Ben hasn’t told you the whole story.”

“The whole story?”

“The word around town is that he wants in on a deal with two other partners. The partners have bought a catering company with a great kitchen and a great reputation. They’ve told Ben that unless he can get you to agree to be head chef, they won’t take him on as a third partner.”

“Well, that explains why he’s here trying to get me to work for him. What I don’t get is why his potential partners want me. Didn’t anybody tell them my history?”

Keith chuckled, his throaty rumble warming her heart. “Again, Ben has failed to fill you in on all the details.”

“What do you mean?”

“Some new information has come to light regarding that wedding. Your former assistant recently came forward, probably because he was tired of taking the blame. He says that when he and Ben arrived at your kitchen on the morning in question one of the fridges, the one containing the salmon, had stopped working. The assistant said that by the time they got there everything inside was already warm.”

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against Celia’s office chair. When she’d arrived at work after taking Rebecca to her early morning riding lesson, the assistant was preparing the salmon as if nothing was amiss. “Apparently Ben ordered the assistant to move the salmon into the other refrigerator and told him to keep his mouth shut. The fish was too expensive to throw out.”

“So he used the salmon even though he knew it could be spoiled.”

“Yes, and you had no idea because he had the assistant prepare it. He thought you’d put up a fuss and insist on throwing out the fish if you suspected anything was wrong with it.”

“He thought right.”

She knew Ben had sometimes cut corners. They’d fought about it several times. He knew she hated shoddy work and poor quality, and wouldn’t dream of using food she suspected might be tainted.

She couldn’t believe it. He’d blamed her when he’d known all along what had caused the disaster that had sunk their business.

“Yes, that’s the story. Nobody wants to hire Ben now. The only reason the new owners would even consider him was because he claimed he could bring you in. You still have a stellar reputation in this town as a superb catering chef.”

“Thank you for telling me all this,” she said. Her head was reeling with the news.

“If you do move back to San Francisco, let me know. I’d love to see you again.”

“I’d love to see you too. I’ll keep in touch, whatever happens.”

By the time she hung up the phone, she was shaking with anger. For two years she’d blamed herself. For two years she’d agonized over what she’d done wrong. And for two years she’d been unable to work because he’d convinced her she was at fault.

Ben Grant had a lot of questions to answer.

Chapter Twenty-One

Leslie carefully opened her bedroom door. Daddy’s door
was still closed so that meant he was still asleep. Maybe if she was very, very
quiet she wouldn’t wake him up.

She crept down the stairs and into the kitchen, pausing at the
back door to put on her boots and coat in the dark. Daddy thought she couldn’t
do stuff herself. He was going to be so surprised.

She opened the back door as quietly as she could, then stepped
into the cold. The bitter wind lifted her hair and blew in her ears, reminding
her that she’d forgotten her hat. But she couldn’t stop now. She wanted to ride
Molly by herself. Bridget said she could. The other day she sneaked downstairs
and heard her arguing with Daddy. Bridget said she didn’t need two people to
help her ride. If Bridget said she could ride alone it must be true.

The walk between the house and the barn was kind of scary
because it was still dark, but there was a light over the barn door that stayed
on all night and she walked toward it. She was able to slide the heavy door open
just enough for her and Molly. She’d show Daddy. He was going to be so proud of
her.

Molly’s head was bowed in sleep. Leslie stroked her soft
nose.

“Wake up, pretty girl,” she said. “We’re going for a ride.”

Leslie knew where Molly’s saddle and blanket were kept. She
went into the tack room and turned on the light switch. She was smart. She knew
which saddle belonged to her horse. She’d show Daddy she could ride by herself,
even if he didn’t think she was smart enough.

She tried to lift the saddle from its stand but it was too
heavy for her. It fell to the floor. She dragged it for a short way but then
abandoned the idea. She’d have to ride Molly without the saddle. She grabbed her
horse’s blanket and her bit.

She returned to Molly’s stall. Her pony twisted her head when
Leslie tried to put the bit in her mouth. She’d never done it before but she’d
watched Daddy and Becky lots of times. Daddy let Becky put the bit in Candy’s
mouth all the time but he never let her do it because she was stupid. She
climbed on the rails surrounding the stall and flung the blanket over Molly’s
back.

Molly didn’t usually toss her head as if she was mad at her but
she was doing it now. She stroked her nose.

“Shhh, Molly. We’re going to ride now, okay? We’re going to
show Daddy.”

She opened the pony’s stall and then climbed up the rails
again, flinging one leg over Molly’s broad back. The pony stomped her feet as
she clung to her mane.

“Don’t worry, Molly. Now we can ride.”

She held the reins the way Daddy had taught her but Molly
didn’t move. She just shook her head and chewed at her bit.

“Come on, Molly. Let’s go.”

She dug her heels into the pony’s sides and Molly lurched
forward. Leslie grabbed Molly’s mane to right herself. The pony shook her head
and Leslie lost her hold. She slid off the pony’s back and landed hard on the
cement floor.

When she tried to stand everything hurt, especially her arm.
She started to cry. Daddy was going to be so mad at her. She was stupid, stupid,
stupid.

* * *

Jack knew something was wrong the minute he opened his
bedroom door. Leslie’s door was wide-open and when he went inside to check, she
was nowhere in sight. He checked the bathroom. Still no Leslie.

He hurried down the stairs, expecting to find her at the
kitchen table trying to pour herself a bowl of cereal. He always told her to
wait for him to do it for her, but sometimes she got impatient for breakfast and
tried to get it herself. But she wasn’t in the kitchen.

His heart began to beat faster. He checked the family room and
the living room and dining room, calling her name as he went. He checked the
bathroom on the first floor. She wasn’t anywhere in the house.

Think
,
damn
it
,
think.
Where could she be?

He looked in the closet and sure enough, her boots and parka
were missing. Cold fear settled in his gut. She was outside. Alone. How long had
she been out there? He hastily slipped on his jacket and boots and ran
outside.

A sliver of brightness lightened the eastern horizon. He could
just make out that the barn door was open a crack. He took off on a run.

When he got inside the first thing he saw was Molly standing in
the middle of the barn, chewing frantically at her bit. Her blanket was lying on
the floor of her open stall.

“Leslie!” he called frantically. “Leslie, where are you?”

“Here, Daddy,” came the faint reply.

He scrambled toward her voice, his heart in his throat. He
found his little girl in a corner next to some hay bales, tears streaming down
her face, her arm bent at an awkward angle.

He went down on one knee beside her. “Sweetheart, what
happened? What are you doing in the barn?”

“I wanted to show you how I could ride Molly by myself. But now
you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.” He touched her arm and she cried out. His
daughter’s pain felt like a knife to his heart. “Why did you want to ride by
yourself? You know Grandma Jane and I would take you out anytime you want to
go.”

She lifted her chin. “Becky gets to ride by herself. Bridget
said I could do lots of things myself if I work hard. She said I could ride by
myself. I heard her tell you so.”

His jaw tightened. Leslie must have heard the argument they’d
had about her. Damn Bridget for putting these crazy ideas into her head.

With an effort he made himself speak calmly. “Sunshine, it
looks like you’ve hurt your arm pretty badly. We’re going to have to take you to
the doctor. I’m going to bring the truck close to the barn and then I’m going to
pick you up and carry you to the truck.” He hated that he was going to hurt her.
“You stay right here.”

As he raced out of the barn, anger swelled inside him. Bridget
would never understand what it was like to care for a special needs child. She’d
never understand Leslie’s many limitations.

How could there ever be a future for them?

* * *

Bridget let the phone ring until Jack’s answering
machine clicked on. It was the third time she’d tried to reach him that morning.
She checked her watch. Almost 11:00 a.m. Where could he be?

She left another message. “Jack, it’s Bridget again.
Something’s come up and I really need to talk to you. Call me at the bar the
first chance you get. Please, Jack. It’s very important.” She couldn’t stop the
desperation she heard in her voice.

She picked up her coffeepot and began to circulate. She’d been
hiding downstairs in the bar ever since she’d called Keith earlier that morning.
Though she hated leaving Rebecca alone with Ben, not knowing what kind of
garbage he was filling her head with, she couldn’t stand to look at him.

How had she lived with the man for fifteen years? She’d
understood that he had faults, many of them, in fact. He was arrogant and
ambitious, without the work ethic to back up his lofty dreams. But she’d never
realized how devious and downright cruel he could be.

He hadn’t always been that way. When they first married, Ben
had been attentive and loving. But somehow things had changed over the years. As
her popularity as a chef increased, he became more and more critical of her
appearance and her performance in their bedroom. She guessed that since he
couldn’t compete with her in the kitchen, he decided to undermine her confidence
everywhere else.

She wondered now if his affair with Sherry was his first, or
just the first she’d known about. The thought filled her with revulsion.

She brought the coffeepot to the old boys’ table and refilled
their waiting cups.

“You’re looking a little under the weather today, Bridget,”
George said, watching her closely.

She smiled fondly at him. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

Mavis toyed with her coffee cup. Today she was having coffee
with the boys at their table. She looked tired as well.

“You could try to take a nap in one of the empty motel rooms,”
Mavis said.

“I’ll take a nap when you do.” She knew the likelihood of her
mother lying down for a nap in the middle of the day was pretty remote. But she
wished Mavis would.

Tina breezed into the bar carrying a large box. She set the box
on a nearby table and pulled off her gloves.

“Hey, guess what? I got us another gig.”

She blinked at Tina. “What?”

“Hello? Earth to Bridget. For our catering company, remember?
The school trustees are having a big conference in January and they want us to
cater their banquet. You know, I was thinking, we should really come up with a
kick-ass name for our company. What do you think of Divine Delights?”

She stared at Tina. She’d never thought it possible but she’d
come to care for her. She was her friend. And now she was going to have to move
away and let her down.

A sob burst out of her mouth. She covered her face with her
hand, surprised and embarrassed by her show of emotion.

“I’m sorry.” She ran into the restaurant and sank into one of
the booths near the window. She laid her head on the table and wept.

A moment later she heard the door open. She lifted her head and
tried to wipe away the tears. Tina sat across the booth from her and took her
hand, her face full of concern.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

She looked across the table at her friend.

“Everything.”

She told Tina the whole story, from the food poisoning incident
and how Ben had blamed her, to her newfound knowledge about what had actually
happened. And then she told her the really hard part, the part where she’d have
to leave Paradise and their fledgling business.

“I’m so sorry, Tina. I don’t want to let you down like
this.”

Tina waved away her concern. “Have you talked to Jack? What
does he say?”

“I haven’t been able to reach him.”

“Do you love him?”

There was no point in denying it. “Yes.”

She squeezed her hand. “Then you can’t just walk away. Don’t
let Ben ruin your life again.”

“I know.” She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Jack. “But I
can’t let Rebecca go back to San Francisco without me. Ben would never look
after her or give her the attention she needs. I have to go with her.”

“Think, Bridget. You’ve got the power here. If you tell Ben
there’s no way you’ll work for him even if you do go back to San Francisco, do
you think he’s still going to want Rebecca? From what you’ve told me I’m sure
he’ll find some excuse as to why she can’t live with him.”

She stared at her friend. She was right. The answer had been
sitting in front of her all along. He was only using Rebecca to get her to agree
to work for him. If she refused to give in to his blackmail, Rebecca was of no
further use to him.

Or at least she hoped so. Would he go so far as to fight her
for sole custody, just for spite?

If he did, he’d have the fight of his life on his hands.

Tina handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes and blew her
nose. She took a deep breath.

“I think it’s time to have a talk with my daughter. And her
father.”

* * *

Jack led Leslie into the house. Despite her ordeal she
seemed quite chipper, which was more than he could say for himself. Watching the
doctor set her broken arm had taken ten years off his life.

Gladys was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She made a sound of
distress when she saw Leslie’s cast.

“Oh, my girl. That’s quite a cast you’ve got there.” Jack had
phoned her from the hospital in Bismarck to let her know what had happened.

To his amazement, Leslie grinned. “The doctor signed his name.
See?”

Gladys examined the cast. “That’s how it works when you have a
cast. Everyone has to sign it for you.”

“You sign, Gladys.”

“Sure I will.” She found a pen in the drawer and signed the
cast. “There you go. How long will you have to wear the cast?”

Jack answered for her. “The doctor said four to six weeks. It’s
a clean break so it should heal quickly.”

Gladys ruffled Leslie’s hair. “Well, every kid has to break
something at least once. Lord knows my kids certainly did.”

He felt his jaw clench in anger. There’d been no need for this
injury, no need at all. If Bridget hadn’t made Leslie think she could
ride...

“There were some phone messages on the machine when I arrived,”
Gladys said. “Gavin said he and Dallas fed and watered all the horses. And there
were three messages from Bridget. She wants you to call her. It sounded
urgent.”

He couldn’t speak to her right now. He’d wait a day or two
until he calmed down. And then he’d lay down the law about what she could and
could not say to his daughter.

“I picked up your mail on my way here,” she said. “It’s on the
desk in your office.”

“Thanks.”

He left Leslie at the kitchen table drinking a cup of hot
chocolate with her one good arm. The sight of her broken arm in its cast
wrenched his gut.

He walked into his office and shuffled through the mail Gladys
had placed there. It was the usual: flyers, bills, a couple of magazines. An
envelope with an unusual logo caught his eye.The Blackwood Academy. He’d never
heard of the place. Curious, he ripped open the envelope.

By the time he finished reading the enclosed letter and
brochure, he could barely control his anger. He marched through the kitchen to
the back door, ripping his jacket off its hanger in the closet. Gladys frowned
at him.

“Where are you going? It’s lunchtime.”

“I have some business in town.”

“Will you be long?”

“No.”

What he had to say to Bridget wouldn’t take long at all.

* * *

Rebecca and Ben were playing video games when Bridget
ventured upstairs to the apartment. Rebecca was laughing in delight. The sound
stabbed at her heart. Why was she always cast in the role of the bad guy?