First and Again (22 page)

She met Jack’s gaze and he smiled at her. She smiled back.
She loved him.
Maybe she’d never stopped loving him.

It was so simple. She loved him, and she loved Leslie. Though he’d never put it in so many words, she knew Jack loved her and Rebecca as well. Why weren’t they a family?

Rebecca would come around. In the last four months Jack had been more of a father to her than Ben had been in fifteen years. Surely she could see that. She wanted nothing more than to lie with Jack every night and wake up in his arms every morning. They had their differences, especially when it came to Leslie, but they’d work them out.

“It’s a perfect gift, Jack,” she said. “Thank you.”

His eyes were filled with tenderness. “You’re welcome.”

* * *

They sang Christmas carols on the short drive back to Paradise later that evening, the three of them crowded together on the bench seat of Mavis’s truck. As Bridget turned off the highway, Rebecca touched her arm.

“Maybe staying in Paradise wouldn’t be so bad,” she said.

She glanced at her daughter in surprise. “You mean that?”

Rebecca leaned against her grandmother, and Mavis put her arm around her. “I like having my family around.”

“So do I, sweetheart.”

She wanted to jump up and down in joy, shouting to the world that she was staying in Paradise where she belonged. She contented herself with a quick squeeze of Rebecca’s hand.

A strange car was parked in the lot when they pulled up to the motel. A prickle of unease skittered up her back.

“Do you know who that is, Mom?” she asked.

“No, I don’t recognize the car.” Mavis peered through the windshield. “I think there’s someone behind the wheel. It’s probably someone looking for a room.”

“But we turned off the vacancy sign before we left. I don’t like this,” she said. “Maybe we should go back to Celia’s.”

Just then the driver’s side door of the strange car opened and a man got out. She put the truck into reverse.

“Wait!” Rebecca shouted.

Bridget slammed on the brakes. Rebecca scrambled over Mavis in her haste to get out of the truck. She ran to the man and he picked her up and swung her around.

Recognition suddenly dawned.

“Oh my God. It’s Ben.”

Chapter Twenty

Bridget approached her ex-husband with caution. “What are you doing here, Ben?”

He looped an arm casually around Rebecca’s shoulders. “It’s nice to see you too, Bridget. I came to see my daughter for Christmas, of course. And you.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. If there was one lesson she’d finally learned, it was that he didn’t do anything without an ulterior motive. He had to expect a big payoff to induce him to travel hundreds of miles to a place he considered the back of beyond just five days before Christmas.

She wondered what he expected that payoff to be and if it involved their daughter.

Mavis produced her keys from her pocket. She looked about as happy to see Ben as Bridget felt. “It’s cold out here. Let’s go inside.”

“C’mon, Becky. Help me bring in some packages from the car,” Ben said.

A few moments later they were seated in Mavis’s living room. Rebecca sat on the floor, happily tearing Christmas wrapping paper from a box. She let out a gasp of surprise when an iPad was revealed.

“Oh Daddy, thank you! I’ve been wanting one of these forever, but Mom said it was too expensive.” She jumped up and threw her arms around him. “Thank you. I’m so glad you came.”

He ruffled her hair. “I’m glad I came too, Becky.” He handed her two more small boxes. “Here, these are for your mother and grandmother. Why don’t you pass them over so they can open them?”

Rebecca happily complied, delivering the two boxes with a big smile on her face. Bridget wondered how long it would take Ben to disappoint her daughter and wipe away her sunny smile.

“Open your present, Mom,” Rebecca said. “You too, Grandma. Let’s see what Dad got you.”

Bridget removed the ribbon on the box with trepidation. Why on earth would Ben have bought gifts for her and her mother? What possible motive could he have? What did he expect to gain?

“It’s not going to explode,
chéri
,” Ben chuckled. She bristled at the use of his old pet name for her. She hadn’t been his darling for a long time.

She ripped open the rest of the wrapping paper, gasping when she discovered the gift underneath. A bottle of her favorite perfume, French and very expensive. She’d loved this perfume and had despaired a year and a half ago when she’d used the last of her precious stash and knew she couldn’t afford any more. Ben had bought her bottles of it a few times over the years. A remembrance of enthusiastic lovemaking after receiving a gift of this perfume popped unbidden into her head. He grinned as if reading her mind.

“See, Mom? Daddy remembered your favorite perfume!”

She forced a smile. “Yes, he did.” The question was why.

Mavis opened her present to reveal a beautiful and expensive-looking silk scarf. Her mother wasn’t exactly the silk scarf type, but it was a lovely gift nonetheless.

“Thank you, Ben,” Mavis said. “That was very thoughtful.”

She silently seethed. Trust Ben to come bearing expensive gifts. Where was he getting the money from? For two years she’d received the bare minimum in child support payments from him, if she received anything at all. Every time she’d asked him for money, for Rebecca’s tuition, her riding lessons, or for rent, he’d pleaded poverty. He was having as much trouble getting a job as she was, he’d said. No one wanted to hire a chef associated with a company that caused a massive food poisoning incident. She’d taken his comments in the spirit they were intended—as direct hits against her. She was the one responsible for the failure of their business and he wouldn’t let her forget it.

She’d had enough for one evening. She got to her feet.

“It’s getting late. Why don’t I get you settled in one of the motel rooms for the night?”

“Aw Mom, he just got here,” Rebecca pleaded.

“I’m sure your dad’s had a long day. You two can visit tomorrow.” She turned to Ben, her eyebrow raised in challenge. “Unless your dad has somewhere else he has to be tomorrow?”

He grinned back, giving her a little wink. “I’m all yours.”

Not bloody likely.

“I’ll put you in room ten,” she said, naming the motel room farthest away from their apartment. She hoped he froze his butt off on the walk there. “The noise from the bar won’t disturb you there.”

“I’ll get my suitcase from the car and meet you there,” he said. He gave Rebecca a hug. “I’ll see you in the morning. We’ll have all day to catch up.”

“Good night, Daddy.”

She grabbed a couple of extra blankets from the linen closet and made her way to room ten. Ben was waiting at the door with his suitcase in his hand. She handed him the room key and he opened the door and turned on the light.

“Be it every so humble,” he mumbled. She didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice.

“Just be glad I’m not making you sleep in your car.” She dumped the extra blankets on the bed. “Breakfast is at nine.”

He grabbed her wrist when she started to move away. “
Chéri
, wait. I was hoping we could talk.”

She ground her teeth. “Get your hand off me and quit calling me that.”

He dropped her wrist and lifted his hands in surrender. “Sorry. I just want to talk.”

“It’s late, Ben.”

“Please, Bridget. I’ve come a long way for this.”

He was right about that. He had come a long way and she wanted to know why. Perhaps it was best to find out right away. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“So talk.”

He gestured toward the bed. “Why don’t we sit down?”

The last place she wanted to be was on a bed with him. “Just spill it.”

“Okay.” He sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head bowed. “I miss you.”

She laughed at his statement. “Really? I find that hard to believe. I’m sure your little girlfriend keeps you busy.”

“Sherry left me.”

She tried not to look too pleased, but a smirk escaped her lips.

“Did she miss the cheerleading squad? I hope you didn’t make her skip prom.”

He frowned at her. “I guess you’re entitled to be smug. You were right. She was too young for me.”

“Next time look for a girlfriend who’s old enough to vote.”

“There won’t be a next time. I don’t want another girlfriend. I want my wife back.”

She stared at him in stunned silence, all the smart-ass remarks she’d been ready to hurl at him evaporating on her lips.

When she didn’t respond, he got to his feet and took her hand. “I wanted to see Becky for Christmas, of course. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed her. I miss my family, Bridget. I miss you. I need you.”

He tried to pull her closer, to envelop her in his arms but she stepped away, pulling her hand from his. “If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”

“It’s no joke, Bridget. I’m very serious.” He certainly looked serious. She had to wonder why.

He took her hand once more. “We can start over. I have a new business and a couple of new partners. We’ve bought an upscale catering business right downtown. It’s a great business, but it needs a new menu and some updates. We’re going to jazz it up, give it an infusion of life. I want you to be part of it.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because you’re an extremely talented chef, and despite what happened at that wedding, people in the industry still regard you very highly. And the public has mostly forgotten the incident. You could make a great comeback at a very high-end firm. It’s the perfect opportunity for you.”

She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temple. Why was he offering this job to her? For two years he’d been adamant about her guilt. What was different now?

“I don’t understand,” she said. “A few weeks ago when we spoke on the phone, you were as insulting and indifferent toward me as ever. What’s changed?”

“I’ve changed. I’ve finally realized how much I need my family. Please, Bridget.” He touched her hair. “Come home with me.”

She stepped out of his reach. “I
am
home.”

“Here? In this hick town? You can’t be serious.”

She lifted her chin a notch. “I’m very serious.”

“Well, you may be happy, but Becky’s not. She phoned me, crying about how much she hates it here.”

“That was months ago. She’s settled in since then. If you were so concerned about her, why didn’t you come to see her then? Why didn’t you spend time with her when we still lived in San Francisco?”

A spark of anger flashed across his face, but he quickly covered it. “She phoned me a couple of weeks ago. She was upset because she saw you kissing some farmer. What else have you been doing with him?”

She stared at him a moment. She should have known Rebecca would contact her father. The surprising thing was that Ben had actually come all the way to North Dakota to try to convince her to go back.

“In case you didn’t get the memo, we’re officially divorced. That means I can date, and kiss, anyone I want to.” She had no intention of letting Ben know how much Jack meant to her.

“Look I know I wasn’t a model father, and I certainly wasn’t a perfect husband. But I’ve changed.” He swallowed before speaking again, his face full of sincerity. “I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ll never forgive myself but I’m hoping you can.”

She closed her eyes as she gathered her thoughts. She wanted to make herself very clear, so that Ben would have no doubt of her intentions. “Maybe someday I’ll be able to forgive you, but I’m not likely to ever forget. Rebecca and I are staying here.”

His demeanor changed. The look of contrition disappeared and was replaced with an expression of determination, his handsome features set in hard lines.

“If that’s your answer, fine. We can do this the hard way. Unless you agree to come back to San Francisco and work in my catering company, I’ll sue for sole custody.”

Her heart momentarily ceased beating as fear pumped through her veins. Quickly, logic took over and her heart resumed its regular cadence.

“Be serious, Ben. You were the one who had an affair with a younger woman and left the marriage. Your child support payments in the last two years have been erratic at best and you’ve made little effort to see your daughter in a year and a half. What makes you think any court would grant you sole custody?”

“I don’t have to win custody, I only have to go through the motions of applying for it. In fact, I don’t even have to go through the trouble and expense of going to court. We both know that if I promise to let Rebecca go back to her private school and her riding lessons, she’ll jump at the chance. She won’t be happy until you bring home to San Francisco.”

He was at least partially right. Rebecca might be pleased at the prospect of attending her old school and taking her private riding lessons once more. But having him express his desire for her to live close to him would convince her that she needed to be in San Francisco. She was so starved for affection from her father that she’d jump at the chance to be with him. Bridget didn’t know if the ties her daughter had made in Paradise would be strong enough to keep her here.

“That’s blackmail.”

“That’s a strong word,” he said with a smile. “I simply want my family back where it belongs.”

“Rebecca and I are exactly where we belong.” She stared at Ben, shaking her head in disbelief. “What happened to you? What happened to the man I married? When did you turn into this vindictive, manipulative schemer? Or have you always been that way and I’ve just now realized it? I hope Rebecca figures out what you are before you hurt her any more than you already have.”

She hurried out the door, not bothering to close it behind her. What had she ever seen in Ben? Why had she married him?

She already knew the answer. She’d married him because sixteen years ago he’d reminded her of Jack.

* * *

Bridget woke early the next morning after a restless night. Snippets of her dreams remained vivid in her memory. A spotless kitchen with top of the line appliances and a huge staff featured prominently. Ben was in this kitchen, smiling at her, telling everyone what a fabulous chef she was. Somehow this dream morphed into one that took place in the kitchen of her mother’s restaurant. She was there with Tina, who argued with her over something ridiculous, and Jack, who looked at her with such intensity in his eyes. She imagined she saw love there too. But it was only a dream.

About 6:00 a.m. she finally gave up all pretense of sleeping and got up to have a shower. When she entered the kitchen shortly after, she was surprised to find Mavis already there.

“Why are you up so early?” she asked.

“Same reason as you, I suppose. I couldn’t sleep. I kept wondering what Ben is doing here.” Mavis stifled a yawn as she made coffee.

Bridget glanced toward Rebecca’s closed bedroom door. She kept her voice low. “He said he wants Rebecca and me to go back to San Francisco with him.”

Mavis turned sharply to look at her. “You’re not seriously thinking about doing that, are you?”

“I may not have a choice.”

“Have you lost your mind? Don’t you remember what that man did to you?”

Her defenses went on high alert. “I’m well aware, Mother.”

“He cheated on you and left you to take the blame when the business got into trouble.” Mavis was in full righteous indignation mode. “He left you and Rebecca practically destitute. How can you stand there and tell me you’re thinking about taking him back?”

“I’m not saying that.” She held her head in her hands. She thought of Jack and the revelation she had only yesterday that she loved him. “I can’t go back to him. I won’t. But he might able to convince Rebecca that she wants to go back with him.” She told Mavis about Ben’s threat. Tears flowed down her face at the thought of moving away and losing her family. Of losing Jack.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry.”

Mavis pulled her into her arms. At first she resisted but then she wrapped her arms around her mother and rested her head on her small shoulder. She cried out her sadness that what she had with Jack may be lost before it really got a chance to begin. And she cried for old losses, for the father she barely remembered.

“We won’t let him get away with this,” Mavis said. “Rebecca’s a smart girl. She knows who really loves her.”