First Thing I See (11 page)

                Every time I thought I was the cat, I wound
up being the mouse with this man.  “Kennedy!!  We can’t, I just spent an hour
fixing my hair and makeup and the dinner starts in half an hour!  We will be
hours late!”  Although my words told him we couldn’t, my body had already
reacted to his and my clit was swollen and nipples taught and erect.

                He took a cautious step back and took a deep
breath.  “Go.  Put the dress on, before I change my mind and we don’t leave
here at all.”

                The dress was exquisite on its own, but it
clung to my body like it was made to fit me.  It made me feel special.  I
walked out into the living room and Kennedy was waiting.    “You look
breathtaking Hope.”  His reaction made me feel as if I was floating.   He
walked to me and held something in his hand.  “Turn around beautiful.” 

                He lifted my hair and clasped a delicate
necklace gently around my neck.  I saw my reflection in the mirror above the
fireplace.  A simple, beautiful, delicate platinum chain held a three carat
round pale pink diamond, surrounded by two circles made of smaller encrusted
sparking pink diamonds.  Gorgeous.    I turned and held my hand to the
necklace.  “It’s beautiful Kennedy, just like the man that put it on me.  Thank
you.” 

***

                The charity dinner was held at the Hotel
Marimount, Chicago’s version of The Monet.  It was luxurious and had an old
world charm.  I spent the entire cocktail hour being introduced to people that
all seemed to know Kennedy well.  I had been nervous about not knowing anyone
and thought I might be spending a lot of time standing at the bar by myself
fidgeting with my phone.  But Kennedy never left my side.  His left hand was
clasped tightly with my right.  He only let go when necessary to greet people,
then it found mine again immediately. 

                Kennedy excused us from the last group of
people and grabbed us champagne as a waiter passed by.  We stood to ourselves
for a while, while Kennedy told me stories about some of the people that we had
met.  We laughed together like best friends that were sharing years of inside
secrets.  I was disappointed when they announced dinner was about to be served
and we had to go to our assigned table in the main ballroom.

                I was happy to see that we were sitting with
Franklin and Lauren.  There were two other couples seated at the table.  One I
knew had to be Garrett, Kennedy’s youngest brother, they looked so much
alike.   Kennedy introduced his brother and his brother introduced his date. 
The other couple at the table was Kennedy’s CFO and his wife.  Lauren insisted
that I sit next to her and Kennedy sat on my other side.   Lauren and I chatted
easily and Kennedy spoke to Garret across the table.    Nothing felt forced. 
It felt right being with his family.               

                We were halfway through dinner, when I
spotted Mikayla.  She would have been hard to miss.   She wore a daringly short
black dress and her mile long slim legs probably came up to my shoulders with
her six inch stilettos.  Her hair was pulled back tight from her face and her
flawless skin was radiant.  I saw her look at Kennedy, then she looked directly
at me and smiled an evil smile and turned away.  Lauren must have seen the
whole exchange because she leaned in to me quietly and whispered, “Ignore her,
don’t let the past get in the way of your future Hope.”

                I took a deep breath and smiled and excused
myself to go the ladies room.  Lauren followed me.  We didn’t talk about
Mikayla or Kennedy, but I knew that she was silently showing me support.  She
spoke to me like I was part of the family and I felt comfort in her
familiarity.  I touched up my lipstick and decided Lauren was right, I wasn’t
going to ruin the night with my insecurities.  

                After dinner, Kennedy and I danced
together.  He held me close and I could feel eyes on us.  I caught some of the
younger women staring with what I thought might be jealousy on their faces. 
Were some of these women people who Kennedy had “arrangements” with before me? 
Was I staring at a bevy of beautiful women that had slept with him?  Jealousy
and insecurity crept in even as he held me close.  When the music stopped, he
whispered in my ear.  “I can’t stop thinking about taking that dress off of
you.”  I felt his breath on my neck and it sent goose bumps down my arms and
legs.  All it took was a few words and I had forgotten my jealousy.      

                When the dance ended, Garrett walked over
and asked me for the next dance.  I could see Kennedy’s jaw tighten and he
begrudgedly allowed me dance with his brother.    Garrett held me tighter than
someone who I had just met should while we danced.  He was charming and
handsome and while he clearly was aware of his charms, it came off as boyish
confidence instead of arrogance for some reason.  He looked at me while we
danced.  “So, you must be someone very special for Kennedy to bring you here.”

                  I smiled, unsure if the statement required
an actual response.  “Umm..Thank you?” 

                 He laughed.  “You're welcome.”

                His statement was kind but I wasn’t sure if
his brother meant that Kennedy didn’t bring women to events like this or if
this particular event was important to Kennedy.  I tucked the question in the
back of my mind for later.   Before the song had fully ended, Kennedy was
already at our side.  “Okay little brother, you’ve had your fun, get your ass
back to your own date and hands off my woman.”  My woman?  Sort of cavemanish,
but I liked it anyway.  I smiled at Garrett and shrugged my shoulders.  He
shook his head and laughed and walked away.

                A few hours later, we were saying our
goodbyes when an attractive older woman approached me.  Kennedy had gone to get
our coats and I was standing alone.  The woman gently reached out and took my
hand in hers.  “I just wanted you to know how thrilled I am to see Kennedy
happy my dear.  I know he’s dated over the years, but in the fifteen years
since he started the foundation, he has never brought anyone here.  I know
Kelly would be happy...wherever she is.”  She smiled at me with tears in her
eyes and gave me a gentle hug.  I smiled back, and felt, rather than saw,
Kennedy return to my side.

                “Kennedy, as always, thank you for your
generosity to the foundation.”  The woman reached up and put her hand on his
check.  She turned to me. “You take good care of him my dear.”  Then she walked
away.

                Kennedy held my coat for me to put on and
then lead me to the valet with his hand on my lower back.                 We
stepped outside into the cool air and I almost froze when I saw Mikayla
standing there.  A dazzling smile on her face she ignored me completely. 
“Kennedy, how wonderful to see you.” 

                Kennedy nodded his head curtly, “Mikayla.” 
His tone a warning.  I felt his grip tighten on my back and he moved to stand
closer to me.  No other words were spoken and we waited in uncomfortable
silence for our car.

                We were both quiet on the ride home.  I had
so many questions to ask but I wanted to be able to see his face when he
answered them.  He poured himself something into a crystal tumbler and handed
me a glass of wine.  I watched him throw back the liquid in his glass in one
long swallow.  I resisted the urge to give in to my insecurities as long as I
could.  “Who’s Kelly?”   My voice just above a whisper.

                Kennedy went to refill his glass. I watched
as he loosened his tie and took off his jacket.  He didn’t turn to me when he
spoke. “I don’t want to talk about it Hope.” 

                I stared at him from across the room, he
didn’t look my way.  I needed reassurances and he wasn’t going to give me any. 
He finished his second drink and placed the glass on the table.  I watched him
struggle with something.   My heart started to pound and I wasn’t sure what to
do.  I suddenly felt I should go home and sleep in my own bed tonight.  But my
bed was a thousand miles away and I had nowhere to run.

                “I’m going to go to bed.”  I swallowed hard,
fighting back tears.

                I took my time in the bathroom and changed
into my robe.  I got into the empty bed and tried to relax myself with a few
deep breaths.   My head was spinning and I felt alone.   I was exhausted but it
still took a long time for sleep to find me.

***

                I woke up the next morning and was relieved
to find Kennedy asleep next to me.  I watched him sleep and thought about the
night before. We hadn’t had a fight and he didn’t actually do anything wrong.  
He had things he didn’t want to talk about and that was okay.  Everyone had
issues and we didn’t really know each other that long.  Yet it still hurt.

                We spent the day together and neither of us
spoke about the night before.   We cooked breakfast and lunch in our pajamas and
I did my best not to think about Mikayla or Kelly or any other women that might
have touched Kennedy.  It was a nice day and we laughed a lot, but something
was different.

                The next week we spoke every day, as if
nothing weird had happened.  I had known for the last two weeks that I wasn’t
going to see him this weekend, because he was flying to London on Thursday
night for what he called an “overdue business trip.”  But after last weekend,
it made it more difficult to not be with him.  

                Thursday afternoon my phone rang and I shut
my office door when I saw his name on the screen.  “Hey. This is a surprise, to
what do I owe the pleasure of a mid day call from a busy executive.” 

                “I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

                I smiled.  “You’re pretty hard to stop
thinking about yourself Mr. Jenner.” 

                “Come with me to London tonight.”  He was
serious.

                My stomach did a flip.   “I’d love to, but I
can’t.  I don’t get any time off from work for the first three months.”

                His voice was low and edgy.  “I can’t wait
another full week to see you Hope.”

                I hated the thought of not seeing him too. 
“Me too.  But next week is Thanksgiving and I am flying to Oregon Wednesday
night after work.  I made the plans before I even moved to New York.”

                “Can I join you?”    His voice turned
gruff.  “I need to be with you.”

                “I’d love that.”  I closed my eyes, excited
at the thought of being with him in Oregon, but terrified of what he would see.

                “I’ll have Marcy make the arrangements.” He
exhaled audibly. 

                We talked a while longer and I told him
about my plans to meet Shauna and her new basketball player for sushi Saturday
night. 

                “Just the three of you?”  I knew what he was
asking.

                “Shauna knows I am not interested in meeting
anyone Kennedy.”

                “It isn’t Shauna I am worried about.” 

                A long pause.  “Well you need to trust me
Kennedy.”

                “I do trust you, it’s the three million men
in that city that I don’t trust.”

                I laughed at his response, but he didn’t. 
“Okay honey.  I need to get back to work.”

                “Okay beautiful.”

                I disconnected and stared at my phone.  His
jealous tone had an edge that made my pulse speed up and heart thump faster
against the wall of my chest.

***

                Saturday night came and Charles dropped me
uptown at the Japanese restaurant where I was meeting Shauna and her basketball
player Jeremy.  Kennedy had insisted that Charles drive me and wait while we
had dinner so that I didn’t take the subway uptown at night.  I agreed because
it made him feel better, but it also allowed me to wear the cutest pair of silver
tie up Jimmy Choos that I had been dying to wear but were not made for subways.

                Shauna jumped up and down with excitement
when I entered the restaurant.  Jeremy stood almost a good foot taller than her
even though she was tall and wore heels.  I saw another exceptionally tall man
standing near Jeremy and Jeremy introduced him as his teammate Derek.  I eyed
Shauna angrily and she gave me a small smile and shrugged her shoulders as if
to say, it wasn’t her fault. 

                Dinner was delicious and the Saki helped me
relax.  Derek and Jeremy were both very nice and I managed to relax a bit and
enjoy their company.  We all laughed as Shauna told stories about the different
ways she and her squad mates managed to sneak out after curfew when they were
traveling for games.  Derek and Jeremy didn’t seem the least surprised when she
told them that the fire drill the hotel had three nights ago was actually the
product of a lot of flirting with the hotel manager when they found themselves
unable to sneak back onto the floor due to team security.    

                When we exited the restaurant a few fans
gathered asking Derek and Jeremy for autographs and I saw a few flashes from
pictures.  I called Charles and told him I was done and waited out front for
him to pull around the block.   Shauna hugged me and reminded me that tomorrow
was pajama Sunday at my place and Derek put his arm around her around her and
smiled at me.  “She might be a little late.”  Shauna giggled.

                As Charles pulled up Jeremy reached for my
hand and politely reached down and kissed my cheek.  “It was nice to meet you
Jeremy.”

                He looked down at me.  “Can I see you
again?” 

                I smiled flattered.  “I have a boyfriend.”

                He smiled back “Lucky bastard.”