First Thing I See (12 page)

***

                Sunday morning I awoke early to a pounding
headache and ringing cell phone.  “Good morning.”  My voice was still groggy. 
“What time is it there?”

                Kennedy was awake and alert.  “Two in the
afternoon.  Rough night?”

                “Shauna and Saki.  It’s a deadly
combination.”

                “I bet.” 

                “Where are you?”  I heard voices in the background. 

                “Trafalgar Square. I was in a meeting but
needed to take a walk to clear my head.”

                “Everything okay?”  He sounded stressed.

                “I’m not sure.  Why don’t you tell me about
your night? ” My sleepy fog disappearing at his words.

                I sat up.  “You know I had plans to meet
Shauna and Jeremy for dinner.  I didn’t know Jeremy was going to bring a
friend.”

                He took a deep breath.  “And.”

                “And we had dinner and then I went home,
alone.  But I’m sure you already knew that since I suspect you already spoke to
Charles.”

                “I haven’t spoken to Charles.” 

                I was confused.  “Then how did you know?”

                He ignored my question.  “Were you planning
on telling me about your double date?”

                I was annoyed at his insinuation.  “It
wasn’t a double date, and if you hadn’t called me accusing me of something, I
would have told you.  I don’t have anything to hide.”

                I thought for a second.  “And what were you
doing last night Kennedy?”  Maybe the reason that he didn’t trust me had
nothing to do with what I did last night.

                “I had dinner with a seventy year old man
and then went back to my hotel and went to sleep.” 

                I didn’t know what to say in response.  We
were both quiet for a moment.  “I need to get back to my meeting.  I’ll call
you tonight.”

                “Okay.”

                “And Hope, take a look at page 52 of the New
York Daily.”  And then he hung up.

                I got out of bed and went in search of
ibuprofen and coffee.  The New York Daily?  Why did I need to read the Daily. 
I didn’t read it often, although it was a popular paper, I thought they concentrated
too much on sports. 

***

                By the time Shauna came over in her pajamas
for our planned movie day at three, I was already three freakouts passed being
freaked out.  I remembered the precise moment the photo on page 52 must have
been snapped.  His large hand was wrapped around the top of my arm and he was
leaning in and saying something to me while looking down and smiling.  I was
looking up and smiling.  He had just told me that the guy I was dating was a
lucky bastard, but the photo didn’t make it look like we were discussing my
boyfriend.  It looked like they had captured us in an intimate exchange.  No
wonder Kennedy was so upset.  The visual was bad.   If the roles were reversed,
and I was looking at a picture of him looking at a woman like that, I would
have been just as upset.

                “Well,” Shauna did her best to find the
bright side.  “At least you look hot.”

                “Great.”  I gulped my water.  “I’m sure
Kennedy finds that very comforting right now.”

                Shauna knew what I was thinking.  “If you
think he’s going to dump you over some silly picture, you haven’t been paying
attention to the way that man looks at you Hope.”

                “You didn’t hear him, he was really pissed.”

                “He’s 3,000 miles away and jealous.”  Shauna
sat down on the couch.  “You may not think so now, but this might actually be
good for your relationship.”

                I looked at her like she was insane.  “Sure,
pictures of me smiling adoringly at another man will probably make him
propose.”

                “A man like Kennedy struggles when he finds
a woman like you.  He isn’t used to relationships and feels like he isn’t
supposed to want to be in one.   At first he will fight it, but eventually he
will realize he needs to stop fighting it and start fighting
for it.
   
The picture just helped him make the move to fighting for you.”

                I reached for her hand and squeezed it.  I
thought she was crazy, but I knew she meant well.  “I hope you’re right,
because I’m in love with him Shauna.”

                She smiled confidently.   “I know I’m
right.  And I knew you were in love with him before you did Hopeless.”  She
bumped her shoulder into mine and called me one of the hundreds of nicknames
that she had created over the years.

                “So what are we watching today?”    It was
Shauna’s turn to pick the movie, so I knew it was a b horror flick without asking. 

                “Evil Ranger.”  Shauna smiled.  “It’s about
a park ranger that kills campers in the state park and blames it on wild
bears.”

                “Sounds riveting.” 

***

                It was almost nine before my phone rang and
I was glad that he hadn’t called while Shauna was still here.  I didn’t want to
see the disappointment in her eyes if things didn’t turn out according to her
grand scheme.

                “Hey.”  I said quietly into the phone.

                “Hi.”  His voice was low.

                I rehearsed what I was going to say to him
in my head for the last hour, but the words were lost when I heard his voice. 
“I saw the paper, I’m so sorry.  It wasn’t what it looked like…not at all.”

                “Hope…”  My stomach dropped as he said my
name.  I knew what was coming next.  I loved this man, I had to try.

                “Kennedy, he did ask me out, but I told him
I had a boyfriend and then he said my boyfriend was a lucky bastard and they
took that picture when I laughed at him calling you a lucky bastard because he
didn’t know I was the lucky one and, and.”  I was rambling.  “and I don’t want
to lose you over a picture of something that didn’t mean anything to me but
somebody made look like something and…”

                “Hope.”  He interrupted me and I swallowed
my thoughts.  “I’m sorry.”  God no, he can’t do this to me.  He has to believe
me.   I waited for the rest of the speech.  I knew what was coming… I’m sorry I
don’t want to see you anymore.  He continued.  “I’m sorry I accused you of
something you didn’t do.”

                He’s sorry he accused me?  Not sorry he was
breaking up with me?  I started to cry.  “I’m sorry I stayed, I should have
left when I saw Jeremy brought a friend.” 

                “Fuck, Hope.  Please don’t cry.  I was an
asshole.”

                “I deserved it.”

                “No, you didn’t.  I’m sorry beautiful.”  His
voice softened.

                We talked for a while longer and when we
hung up relief flooded over me.  Is it possible Shauna was right?

                My flight to Chicago the day before
Thanksgiving was early.  We were meeting in the terminal and I couldn’t wait to
see Kennedy.   So much had happened in the ten days we were apart and I was
anxious to see if what I thought we had was still there.  We had almost four
hours before the flight to Oregon and our plan was to get some lunch and hang
out in the executive lounge, where Kennedy was a member.

                Two steps into the terminal from the
gangplank and I saw him.  He was standing at the counter and two attractive
flight attendants were talking to him.    I suddenly panicked.  What if things
were different?  What if our fight and the time we spent apart had made things
change?  My heart raced and I could feel my knees tremble.  He turned and saw
me.   The flight attendants didn’t notice that they had lost his attention. 
Our eyes locked and he smiled at me.  The bright full on dimples smile that
stopped my heart the first time I saw him.   He lifted me up and held me so
tight I could barely breathe.  Then he kissed me, right in front of the gawking
flight attendants.  Not a hello kiss, but a Hollywood movie kiss.  The kind
that makes fireworks go off in your head and people stop and stare wishing it
was them.  By the time we came up for air, I wasn’t worried that things had
changed anymore.

                “Let’s get out of here.”  His voice was
gruff and sexy.

                I smiled and shook my head.  We took off
through the airport in a sprint.  I had no idea where we were going, but I
wanted to get there with Kennedy.   As we were about to go through security, I
stopped, “Wait.  Where are we going?  We have to go through security again for
our next flight.”

                “There is a hotel and conference center
attached to the terminal.  I’ll order us room service in between fucking you
the first time and making love to you the second.”  His eyes were dark with
need.

                One eyebrow arched, “We can eat on the
flight to save time.” 

                A crooked smile and one deep dimple. 
“That’s my girl.  Let’s go.”

***

                 We were barely inside the room when we began
tearing off each other’s clothes.  I didn’t want him, I needed him.  I needed
him inside me so badly it physically hurt.  He unbuttoned only enough buttons
on my blouse to reach my bra.   He quickly pushed the silk back with his thumb
and freed my nipples.  He took one nipple into his mouth and sucked hard and
then bit down before releasing it for the next one. 

                He lifted my skirt up and it bunched around
my waist.  One tug and he ripped my panties from my body.  I gasped.  His
fingers quickly dove into my pussy.  “Jesus Christ you’re so wet for me
already.”  He lifted me up and carried me over to the desk and cleared it with
his free hand with one swoop. Everything fell to the floor.   I finished
unbuttoning his pants and freed him.  He was hard as steel.  I stroked the
length of him and he let out a low groan.  The sound was deep and erotic and my
body reacted to just the sensation of his need.

                He positioned me on the desk, the height of
the tall desk aligned perfectly with his hips.  His lips covered mine hard and
I could feel the tip of his wide head against my clit.  He turned his head
slightly and deepened the kiss while his hips circled and then in one long stroke
he buried himself until the root of his cock was pressed up against me.  I
whimpered with the pain of sudden fullness stretching me to my limit and my
hands on his shoulders tightened, my nails digging into his back.  He cursed
under his breath and stayed planted deep inside me for a while before moving. 
His hands held my hips tightly in place and began pumping into me with a fury. 
I moaned and he sensed I was on the edge.  “Look at me Hope, I want to watch
you cum.”  I opened my eyes.  His face was inches from mine. He looked so
serious and beautiful as he stared into my eyes.  My orgasm didn’t have time to
build, it hit square on like a ton of bricks.  His strong hard strokes, his
wanton need and his commanding voice were all too much.   I moaned as it rolled
over me.  It felt so good I didn’t want it to ever stop. 

                “Please don’t stop, please, please.”  He
moved with such strong rhythmic pumps that I didn’t have time to recover from
the first one when the second one rolled on top of the first.   “Fuck Hope, I’m
going to explode, I can’t hold back.”   He came with a ferocious growl and I
felt him arms tighten on my hips and then loosen with a tremble.  He continued
to thrust into me for a minute, but the thrusts softened and he found my mouth
once again.  He kissed me softly, tender and full of emotion.  A tear escaped
my eye before I could pull it back.  He ended the kiss and rested his forehead
against mine.  Both of us still breathing ragged.  I watched him follow the
path of my tears down my face.   He brushed the hair off my face and his thumb
gently wiped the tears. 

                “Jesus, Hope.”  He studied my face and it
made my heart do a flip.   His emotions were on display on his face and he
wasn’t trying to hide them.  It made my heart swell.

                I smiled .  “That was amazing.  You are
amazing.”

                He pulled me into his chest and squeezed me
so tight it hurt.  But I didn’t care, I didn’t want him to move an inch.  He
kissed my neck and I could feel his breaths slow down my back.  We stayed that
way a few minutes and then he pulled back and looked at me.  “I need to feed
you.”

                He ordered room service and when it arrived
there was enough food for six.  I looked at the food and then to him.  “Umm,
Kennedy, are you starving or something?”

                He looked at the food confused for a
moment.  “Damn, my brain wasn’t functioning yet when I ordered.  I don’t even
remember ordering any of it.”

                We both laughed and then we ate too much and
Kennedy kept his word and made love to me for round two.

***

               We barely made it to our flight on time.  I
wasn’t surprised when we boarded the plane that Kennedy had upgraded my ticket
to first class.  Aside from the fact that it must be difficult to fit his six
foot two body in a regular seat, I’d already learned that when Kennedy bought things,
he bought the best.   As we entered the cabin the flight attendant did a double
take when she saw Kennedy.  “Good evening Mr. Jenner.  We don’t usually see you
on this route.  Can I take your coat?” 

               Always the gentleman when outside of the
bedroom, he turned to me.  “Hope, can I take your coat?”  He handed both coats
to the attractive woman.  She did her best attempt at a smile, but seemed put
off at having to take more than Kennedy’s coat.  She turned to me with a sugary
fake smile “Oh, I didn’t realize that you had an assistant joining you today.”