Fit for the Job (27 page)

Jay chuckled. “I’m glad it helps you, but it’s a burden
I’d
rather not have. I feel like I’m lying to Bodie now.”

“You’re not lying,” she said. “It’s not your place to tell him if Eben didn’t, you don’t have to feel bad about that.” She smiled at Jay. “How are things with Bodie, anyway?”

Jay grinned.

“That good, huh?”

“I think I’m screwed, Evelyn.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Because he’s not mine to keep.”

“And you want to? Keep him?”

Jay stared out at the river, watching Bodie swim. “I don’t fall for people easily. I don’t go gooey over every good looking guy that comes onto me. But this...” He sighed. “It just feels...different.”

“Well, you never know what might happen. And if the way he looks at you is any indication...you’re not the only one who’s screwed.”

Bodie climbed out of the water and stepped up onto the bank, slicking his wet hair back with his hands. “I’m starving,” he said.

“Me too,” Sassy said, climbing up behind him. She wore a black one-piece bathing suit dotted with green alien heads, and she looked perfect in it.

Jay thought again of Eben telling Sassy that she’d gained weight. Of all the people he’d met since starting this job, Eben was the one he was most conflicted about. He couldn’t decide if Eben was a screwed up asshole, or as Evelyn said, just a really nice guy with some really big flaws.

“Can we get seafood?” Sassy asked. “Please?”

“Sure,” Evelyn said. “What do you think, Sass, should you and I hang out in the backyard while we send these guys out for food?”

“Okay,” she said. “Will you get stuff to make s’mores?” she asked, looking up at Bodie.

Bodie toweled himself off, and Jay tried not to stare. “I’m not entirely sure what s’mores are.”

“Really?” Sassy gasped. “Did you have a deprived childhood or something?”

“Yes,” he said. “Jay, is there a store around here?”

“There are several that Ingrid marked on the map,” Jay said. “Not sure how she scoped everything out in the short time she was in town, she’s like a human GPS. Oh, and s’mores are graham crackers with melted chocolate and marshmallows. We’ll pick some up, Sassy.”

“Okay,” Bodie said. “Let’s go then, my stomach is starting to eat itself.”

Evelyn smiled at Jay as they turned and headed back up the path. It was cute, he thought, her trying to give him time alone with Bodie, sending them to the store together. He was starting to really like Evelyn. He kind of wanted to keep her, too.

When Jay was ten, his parents sent him to summer camp for a week. He thought he’d hate it, sleeping in dorms and spending all that time with kids he didn’t know, as he was a bit shy back then. But through the course of the week, with all the woodsy survival training and various activities and challenges, he grew extremely close with some of the girls and boys at camp, some of whom he maintained contact with to this day. His current situation felt oddly similar. He was thrust into this emotionally charged scenario with Sassy and her various guards and caregivers, and they’d started to feel like family already.

He’d done personal training in the past, but nothing even remotely like this current job. He’d developed affection for prior clients, but he hadn’t been
living
with them, seeing their day to day lives, becoming enmeshed in their personal pain. And of course he hadn’t been sleeping with any of their security guards...

Once they returned to the cabin, Bodie got the keys to the vehicle Ingrid had left for them in the garage, and he and Jay headed out to the market. They crossed the state border back into Rhode Island, and found the supermarket up the road on the left.

“It must be weird to you,” Jay said as they got out of the car and headed into the store. “Border hopping these small New England states after living in California.”

Bodie glanced at him as they pushed through the market doors, a blast of air conditioning pleasantly cooling Jay’s skin. “I’ve lived lots of different places,” Bodie said. “Different states, different countries. Nothing much surprises me, I just roll with it.”

They stopped in the produce section and Jay grabbed some asparagus and red peppers, tossing them in the shopping cart. “So where do you think of as home?” Jay asked as they moved on toward the seafood deli.

Bodie shrugged. “Nowhere.”

“Oh.” Jay frowned. “That’s...”

Bodie smirked at him. “Please don’t say ‘that’s sad’ or something like that. I think it’s great you’ve got a big family here and you’re dug in. I just don’t come from that kind of world.”

Jay ordered haddock filets. While they were being weighed and wrapped, he watched Bodie, who was studiously examining some bread rolls. “Well what do you think would be your ideal home?” Jay asked. “If you could live anywhere?”

Bodie tossed a bag of rolls into the carriage. He looked at Jay, then his eyes shifted back and forth as he thought. “I don’t know. I guess anywhere I can make a living and people don’t shit in my duffle bag.”

Jay laughed as he accepted the fish from the deli counter and set it in the basket. “Well,
I
would never shit in your duffle bag.”

Bodie smirked at him as they moved on. “Is that a proposal?”

Jay chuckled nervously. “No,” he said. “Just...curious about you.”

“Still?” Bodie said. “You said the same thing last week.”

“I know.” Jay scanned the aisle for graham crackers. “I guess I still find you a bit mysterious.”

Jay’s eyes were still on the wall of crackers, but he wasn’t really paying attention because of the conversation he’d started with Bodie, which was beginning to feel a bit awkward. He was trying to think of a way to wriggle out of it and change the subject, when Bodie reached over Jay and grabbed a pack of graham crackers, tossing them in the basket. “Hey,” Bodie said. “Look at me.”

Jay turned and looked at him.

“I’ve been more open with you about myself than I’ve been with anyone. Ever.”

“You have?”

Bodie nodded. “There’s nothing mysterious here. This is it. This is me.”

“I’m sorry.” Jay smiled. “I didn’t mean to pry.” He started to ease the shopping cart forward again.

Bodie leaned over, resting his forearms on the front of the cart, stopping it. “Do I make you feel like you’re prying?”

“No, it’s not you. My family tends to ask very direct questions when they meet people, so I fear some of that kind of rubbed off on me. I just don’t want to be invasive without realizing I’m doing it.”

“Jay,” Bodie said. “We get naked together and I put my penis inside you.”

Jay laughed, glancing around to make sure they weren’t overheard. “I know that.”

Bodie raised his eyebrows. “So why would you feel shy asking me about myself?”

“I’m not shy, I just haven’t fully learned where your boundaries are, I don’t want to overstep. When we first met you struck me as a little...guarded.”

“I was,” Bodie said. “I am. But I...” He looked down, his lips tightening.

Jay waited a pause, then asked, “You what?”

Bodie’s eyes lifted. “I don’t feel like I
need
boundaries with you.” He shrugged. “It’s probably just the way you are; you win everyone over and make them feel comfortable, and maybe that just extends to your...intimacy. Maybe that’s why I feel safer with you than I have with anyone that came before.”

Jay was deeply moved, and a little confused. “Safer?”

Bodie stared back at him. “Yeah. Is that the wrong word?” He rubbed his forehead, looking conflicted, and Jay felt bad for him. Talking like this didn’t seem easy for Bodie. “I don’t mean safer like if Ninjas come in the window, Jay will protect me. I mean...I don’t know what I mean. I’m still working it out, I guess.”

Jay stared back at him. “Bodie, I...” He laughed, glancing down. “I didn’t want to have this conversation while standing in the cracker aisle staring down at a packet of fish.”

“Forget it,” Bodie said, straightening up. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“No.” Jay stopped the cart when Bodie tried to move it. “Just...give me a second to respond.”

Bodie seemed to relax a little, and rested his arms on the cart again, eyes wary as he looked at Jay. He nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Bodie, it’s not a personality trait of mine bleeding over into our intimacy. If you feel safe with me it’s probably because you can sense I’m not holding anything back. This is me.” He shook his head. “No, it’s not just me. It’s me with
you
. You say I win everyone over but that’s not what I’m doing. I’m not working some inherent Jay mojo on you. I’m not like this with
everyone
.”

Bodie chewed his lower lip. “I didn’t mean to imply that you were, um...”

“Easy and sleazy?” Jay grinned.

Bodie laughed. “Actually I like that about you.”

Jay’s grin slid when he spotted a familiar face, a head of short, strawberry blond hair. He stiffened. Walking down the aisle, carrying a small basket, was Ian Milford, one of the trainers he’d worked with at the fitness center before the lawsuit bullshit. Ian’s bloated muscles bulged under a peach, short sleeved Polo shirt. “Ah, shit,” Jay muttered.

Bodie looked over his shoulder. Ian hadn’t spotted Jay yet as he perused a stack of oatmeal cookies. “Who’s that?” Bodie asked. “Ex-boyfriend?”

“No.” Jay hunched down a bit. “Guy I worked with at the gym.”

“He one of the ones who was shitty to you?” Bodie asked, a surprising tone of protectiveness in his voice.

“Ah, not really,” Jay said. “But he’s kind of an egomaniac, I don’t care for him. He was always super condescending to me. Well, to everyone, not just me. Let’s go this way; I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Understood, let’s go.”

Jay moved out of the way of the cart, and Bodie had just started pushing it toward the other end of the aisle, when Ian spotted him.

“Jay Capello!” he called out, then walked toward them.

Jay feigned surprise. “Ian! Wow, how you doing?”

Ian glanced at Bodie as he reached them, and Jay could see his eyes appraising Bodie’s physique. Ian wasn’t gay, just fiercely competitive when it came to other men’s bodies, especially if they looked better than him.

Ian tore his eyes from Bodie’s biceps and focused on Jay. “Almost didn’t recognize you with the haircut, Jaybird. I’m good,” he said. “But how are you?” His mouth drooped in a sympathetic grimace. “Heard about what happened, man. Those guys in management are assholes. How you holding up?”

“Great, actually,” Jay said. “Lawsuit fell through.”

“Oh did it?” Ian said. “Good for you. I was sorry to hear you were hitting such a rough patch. I’m sure it’s been tough on you. Have you been able to find work?”

Jay wanted to swat the condescending tone right out of Ian. With his fist. “Yeah, been doing a personal training thing. It’s all good. This is Bodie, by the way.”

Ian flexed his bicep as he reached for Bodie’s hand. Bodie shook it, a stiff smile curving his lips. “Bodie, good to meet you,” Ian said. “Is Jay your trainer, then?” He laughed. “Doesn’t look like you need it.”

Bodie chuckled. “No, Jay’s not my trainer.”

“Ah, didn’t think so.” Ian laughed. “Jay’s good, but he’s not
that
good. Jay, you still working with the old ladies?”

Jay fought not to flinch.

“No,” Bodie said. “Jay’s training my cousin, Eben Wright.”

Jay’s head whipped around. He stared at Bodie, who smiled at Ian, his expression revealing nothing.

Ian chortled. “Eben Wright. The actor?”

Bodie nodded. “Yep.”

Ian laughed again. “Yeah. Sure.”

“No, I’m serious.” Bodie shrugged. “Eben’s in town for a film. We grew up together, but I’m working for him now.”

Ian laughed again, then his grin slid away. He looked at Jay. “Seriously. You’re training
Eben Wright?
”

Jay shrugged, then nodded. What the hell, might as well go along with it now. “The opportunity came along, so I took it. Just a short term thing. He’ll be here for the summer.”

Ian looked at Bodie again, eyes studying his face. “Huh,” he said. “Well, wow.” He turned to Jay. “Congratulations. That’s...wow.”

“Jay, we gotta get back with this fish,” Bodie said.

“Oh, right. Well, good to see you, Ian,” Jay said. “Say hi to...ah, fuck it. Say hi to no one.”

Ian laughed. “Right, got ya.” He gave Jay a fist bump. “Nice to meet you, Bodie. Good luck, Jay.”

“You too, Ian.”

Bodie and Jay didn’t speak until they’d cleared the aisle and turned down another. Jay snickered as he looked at Bodie. “You are insane. You didn’t have to do that.”

“The guy’s an asshole,” Bodie said. “I couldn’t let him get away with that
old ladies
comment.”

“I
liked
training the older ladies,” Jay said. “They’re nice, and they work hard.”

“Well, I’m not nice,” Bodie said. “Not when some prick talks down to a guy I care about. Do we need potatoes?”

“Potatoes? Ah, yeah. Sure, why not.”

Bodie pushed the cart, Jay trailing behind him.
A guy I care about
. Jay had liked the sound of that. He felt surreal, food shopping with Bodie, the domesticity of it. His mother would be thrilled. But his mother wasn’t the one who’d get her heart broken when this all ended.

“Is that a proposal?”

Jay had been embarrassed when Bodie said that, but an undercurrent of longing had run through him at the words.
“Yes,”
he wanted to say.
“Stay with me. Make
me
your home.”

Bodie turned and smiled at him, expression tender, almost as if he could read Jay’s thoughts. And Jay almost said it. He almost blurted those words out. His lips even parted for a moment before he stopped himself.

“What?” Bodie asked.

Jay shrugged. “What?”

“You looked like you wanted to say something.”

Do it. Tell him you want him. Beg him to stay.
“I was just thinking about herbs and olive oil for the potatoes. I’ll slice them up and bake them.”

Bodie nodded. “Sounds good. Let’s get whatever else we need and go. I’m so hungry.”

Once the shopping mission was complete, they loaded the groceries in the back of the car. After climbing in and closing the door, Bodie reached over and grabbed Jay’s hand. “Hi.”