Fixated On You (Torn Series #5) (7 page)

Trying not to bark out and laugh at her total confusion was an accomplishment. I had to hold it together, needing to see how this scenario would unfold.

I could feel her tensed body starting to move, but when she realized that my arm was over her stomach, holding her in, she made another pained sound. The crisp sound of the comforter being lifted clued me in as the cold air hit my hand, evaporating the warmth that had ensconced me with her body seconds before and was now gone, as she tried to pry my limb away from her then she stilled, pausing.

“
Bass?
” she questioned before swiftly moving to face my pretend-sleeping state.

“Oh my God! You’re here.” Her hand reached out and cupped my cheek, cradling it as her thumb left gentle strokes against my skin. “I know you’re sleeping and all, that’s why I’m telling you this now because I might not have the balls to say it when you’re awake…but I somehow sensed that you were going to come for me last night.” She paused. “I’m glad you did,” she spoke against my lips before leaving a long, meaningful kiss.

“Argh. What—” Emma started to groan when her phone started ringing. I felt her twist her body to the side, reaching up to get it. “Trista, I can’t go in today.” She started, sighing as she listened to her friend. “I know. I’m sorry, but Bass surprised me this morning—yes, here—of course, I’m not bullshitting. He probably flew in last night from Canada—What? Of course he is. What the heck, Tris?—Yeah, he’s sleeping right next to me—
What do you mean talk to him?
I did say he was sleeping!” she hissed.

Acting like I was just waking up, I made a sound as I reached out for her body. I leaned against the phone and made myself known. “I’m really here, just in case you were wondering.”

“You just woke him up, Trista Stevens. I wanted him to sleep in because he must be exhausted,” Emma sighed into the phone.

I immediately snatched the phone away from her and then spoke directly to Trista. “Don’t worry, Tris. I was awake before you called.”
My eyes were greeted by the sight of her face. Seriously, would it be too cheesy if I said that my heart literally swelled in my chest by the mere sight of her?

“Sorry. Sorry. I thought Emma was trying to sleep in, you know. She was late yesterday and Angela is sort of attached to her, that’s all. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys’ morning, I swear. I know Emma loves these kiddos, but I know she’d take a day off just to be with you. We should catch up soon,” she rambled on without giving me a moment to say anything. “I’ll have your buddy call you for the details, all right? Okay folks. Have a good morning!” She then hung up on me.

I even double checked the phone to see if she truly did, and yeah, the screen was clear, back to its main screen of a picture of Emma and me kissing. “She just hung up on me,” I said out loud. “I didn’t even get to say a word the moment she started talking.”

“She was probably nervous. That woman goes wonky when it comes to you.” Emma made a chortled sound, moving closer to me before snatching her phone from my hands, throwing it to the side as she situated herself on top of me. “Where were we?” She made a look like she was thinking hard. “Oh, yeah. You and your sneaky surprise.” 

When Emma acted all cute, I found it endearing, but right now, the last thing I was thinking about was that as she gently rubbed her body against mine.

“
Good morning
—” Long lashes flickered innocently before me. “Wood?”

Sweet torture was her expertise. “I want you, always. Anytime. Anywhere. You know that, but before we get physical, we need to talk about last night.”

Her forefinger traced the ridges of my abs before her eyes hesitantly met mine. “What are you so opposed about?” she asked, confused. “Apart from you thinking that it will hurt me, what other factors are there that’s making you uncomfortable?”

I had thousands of objections.
One being her using this as a weapon against me later on; an excuse to hide behind when she decided to leave our relationship. “Why do you even want to put yourself in that position? What bothers me more is that you’re requesting to see them. Help me understand your reasoning because I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what you’re trying to get at here.”

She sighed, rolling off me then sitting up with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at my chest. “I want to see if you’re different with them. I guess after this whole Nikki thing, I’m starting to feel ordinary.” She made a careless shrug, biting her lip to stop it from quivering. “When it comes to you, I have always felt special, like what we have is rare and one of a kind.”

Emma was affected to this extent? I knew it was bad, but hell, she was now questioning if what I truly felt for her was solid.

“How could you say that when you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved?” Getting up, I sat across from her, placing my chin against her knees, hoping she’d let me see her eyes because I could usually tell how she was taking my words if our eyes connected. “That alone should soothe your worries away.” My nose touched the tip of hers, brushing it back and forth. “At the end of the day, my love for you is the only thing that matters. Nikki, the other women, my family, the media and the rest of the frazzle-dazzle crap out there doesn’t matter at all because what you and I have is far more important to protect, secure and nourish. Doesn’t me coming here in the middle of the shoot prove that to you?”

A smile started to form on her lips before I saw her small nod. “It does. You don’t know much it means to me that you’re here.” She finally lifted her gaze and reached into mine. They were still sad, but the small tears that formed on the edges were tears of joy. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

“Nothing that I couldn’t fix. Don’t worry.” I was lucky that I had convinced the producers to shoot the scenes that didn’t have me in them. This was the last KOC film, so it was a big deal, and for them to let me go for a few days to fix things with Emma was unheard of. However they knew that I would be better in my craft and more focused if I went to see Emma. When I got back, though, I was definitely going to be worked extra hard.

I couldn’t hold back a laugh when I heard Emma’s tummy complain about being hungry. “Time to feed my woman and her demanding belly.” Slowly getting up on my knees, I leaned over and kissed her before moving away. “Let me go use the bathroom then I’ll meet you downstairs.” Her eyes were on me as I walked away, heading towards the restroom.

Inside, I took my time washing up and changed into black sweatpants and a black crew tee. When I came out of there barefoot, I was surprised to find Emma still sitting on the bed. She had a weird expression on her face.

“Babe?”

“Yep?” I strolled closer to her.

Her hand had my cell phone in it. “Your phone’s been ringing. It’s Nikki.” Emma handed it to me with the caller’s name flashing repeatedly, vibrating.

Nikki. Of all things, did she need to come into the picture this morning? Fuck, what luck.

Lately, she seemed to be needing a lot of things. She would be hysterical about what happened in Dallas, then overly excited the next about giving birth. If I didn’t know she was pregnant, I’d think she was mental. Hormonal women were dangerous. That much I knew.

Grabbing my phone, I sighed, eyes trained on her. “I’m sorry about this, Em.” I knew even if I said sorry a million times, nothing could erase the pain Nikki’s news brought to our fragile relationship.

Emma only gave me a sad smile, but I pulled her against my lap, holding her close, eyes boring into her. “What can I do to put a smile on your face again, moro mou?”

“I don’t mean to be a childish about this whole thing, Bass. Sometimes I just can’t help it—what if you choose them over me? What do I do then?”

I had never seen her like this. She now doubted herself—us—constantly. It was starting to gnaw at me. “Emma—” How could I break this down for her? The more I thought about the baby and Emma, the more I saw things clearly. It was my child against the woman I vowed to love and protect. There wasn’t going to be a competition because she will come first.
Always
. “No matter what happens later down the road, know that it’s you that I’ll choose over any woman.” And as for the latter… the main issue… “When it comes down to it, I’ll choose you over the baby, too, but I hope that you’ll be kind enough to let me be part of his or her life. Being a parent is a big thing, and I don’t want my child to be messed up even if the situation that he or she was born in was unusual.”

“I’m being too whiny. I hope when the time comes, this will all go away. I want to be there for you; you know that, don’t you?”

The back of my fingers brushed the tears that were on the side of her eyes. She wasn’t crying, but she was quite a bit more than misty-eyed. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

With our arms both hung loosely around each other, we strode downstairs.

We were halfway towards the kitchen when Emma directed a question at me. “Hey, mind getting the paper? It should be outside, somewhere around the doorway.”

“Right away, ma’am.” I smacked her ass, squeezing it
good, before I slapped the other side and left her with her own devices.

It was barely nine-thirty in the morning and the house was silent, the grass dewy and the sun barely heating up the air as I scanned for the reading material.

The rolled up newspaper was lying against the cemented driveway. Moving towards it, I bent over to get it, untying the white straw it came with. Scanning over the headlines before I reached the entertainment section, I started moving back indoors when something caught my eye.

An article about Emma was printed, stating that she was only with me to gain more publicity and fame; that she also broke Nikki and me apart. There was also an innuendo about her still being with Carter and that she was cheating on both of us.

It was pure bull and these “sources” were off the point.

This was the second time something similar had been printed about Emma. The last one, it took her a good two weeks to get over. With this new one, I hoped she would be willing to brush it off.

“What’s up?” She came up behind me.

Damn, she’s got some stealth moves. Folding the paper immediately before tucking inside my arm, I answered, “Nothing, really. What do you want me to cook for breakfast?” Changing the subject was the safest bet. I hate seeing her hurt.

She looked at me suspiciously—eyes flicking from the folded newsprint to my face then back at the folded paper again before moving a little closer to me. “What are you hiding from me, Bass?”

Studying her face, I knew she wasn’t going to buy the crap I was meaning to feed her. “Emma.” I cleared my throat, buying time. “It’s nothing important.
Just a bunch of crap. I suggest you don’t Google yourself until you’re ready to stomach all the media trash and have grown some thick skin.”

She made an understanding nod, processing it. “Was it as bad as the last time?”

“Only a little.” They weren’t really crazy or anything, yet to Emma, the words were painful. A person just needed to learn not to read every printed article written about oneself. Sometimes it was the only way to keep grounded and not have these lowlifes dissect the picture without knowing real facts.

“If you don’t tell me what’s written about me, I might just have to do it myself.” Emma folded her arms, not willing to shove the subject into the trash bin.

Stubborn woman
, I silently cursed. Her threats weren’t empty either. That’s why, even though this was something I didn’t want to do, I’d rather that I give her the scoop instead of her taking it all, word for word, and be an epic mess afterwards. “Apart from the whole Nikki crap, they’re saying that you’re two-timing Carter and me. That you’re also seeing me for fame and to gain more publicity.” Cupping her face, I gave her a sorry face, knowing how much the words were affecting her. “I told you it was bullshit.”

“You do
know
that I’m not using you, right?” Her eyes scanned my face, flickering back and forth.

Did she really just ask me that?
“I doubt it would be possible for me to love someone who would.” I kissed the tip of her dainty nose. “Of course I know, my love.” My lips were on hers, kissing her softly. “I’ve always known.”

Women… a man had to say a hundred words to make them feel what we truly wanted them to feel. Some might not bother, but for those who did, that meant he took her seriously. Those were the kind that would be there for the long haul.

Chapter 8

Bass

I wasn’t sure why Emma wasn’t mentioning anything about her birthday weekend, but I had plans of my own.

It was only Thursday and I had already gathered everyone to free their night schedule for us tomorrow. As for the rest of the day, I meant to spend it with her. Alone. And back at our house.

Waving Lou and Chris goodbye after bringing my car around, I was half-jogging as I went inside the house and up the stairs. “Ready, my sweet?” I knocked on the door with my middle finger before opening the door to let myself in.

“Almost…need a couple minutes,” Emma yelled out from her closet.

Striding towards her bed, I let my back fall against the mattress with my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. “Take you’re time. There’s no hurry.”

Fifteen minutes later, Emma came out, tugging a big piece of luggage along. She was dressed in a distressed jean skirt, plain white tee and some strappy, bright yellow wedge espadrilles.

“If we were playing hide and seek in the dark and you were wearing those, I’d find you in no time.” I smirked at her before walking towards her and taking the luggage from her hold.

She playfully punched my arm. “Hey, at least they aren’t neon orange.”

My wardrobe consisted of shades of black, white, gray, blue and a little of in-between. “Come along, brighty. Your chariot awaits.”

Emma kept to herself until we pulled into traffic. “Where to?” She glanced at me before looking out the window.

“I was thinking
, if you want that is, that we should stop by and say hi to Angela. Trista mentioned something about her looking forward to seeing you, so I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you’d pop in and say hello for a bit,” I said, shifting gears before glancing at her. “What do you think?”

Emma was all smiles. “I think that’s a brilliant idea, babe. Angela will pee in her pants when she sees you.”

“Oh yeah?” I’m sure Emma had told her a lot of interesting stories about me.

“Hell. Yes. Dude.” She winked at me, reaching for my hand as we drove towards the hospital with some help from her since I had no idea where the place was located.

The second I parked at the hospital, Emma was out of the car, giddy like I’d never seen her before.

“Geez, I guess I should be making a lot of hospital visits so I could make you this happy, huh?” Slinging my arm around her shoulder, I lightly tickled her on her ribs, making her squeal some more.

“Stop,” she begged, half laughing. “You’ll know what I mean when you see her expression, babe.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. “You’ll see.” Her voice held a lot of promise.

And an hour and a half later, I knew what she meant by that.

Angela was this sweet kid who shrieked like the hospital was on fire the moment she saw me enter her room. I forgot how good it felt to do volunteer visits like I used to do it back in the day when my schedule wasn’t all that busy.

We played a game of scrabble and then she asked Emma to do pigtails in her hair while she and I talked about how fun it was making films.

It was surprising how a kid her age didn’t run out of questions, I mean—those things even happen to reporters—but not on ten-year-old girls they don’t.

The longer I spent time with her and Emma, the more it showed the type of relationship they had. Emma seemed quite attached to her. Angela even referred to her as her “big sis”.

Trista actually dropped by to say hi. The changes I saw with her now, compared to the woman she was last year, were a vast difference. It was amazing what the power of love could do to a person.

It made all the difference.

Love was the source of everything. If you gave it time to grow and let it flourish, it would be worth everything. It was funny how some people mistook love for a lot of things. Love was not about selfishness, unkindness, nor was it about envy. If one didn’t know the true nature of love, one would not appreciate its beauty, its power, its presence.

At the end of the day, we strived to become whole. I sure wasn’t a man who lived life empty.

Looking over at Emma, who was giggling at what Angela was whispering into her ear, it was easy to see that she was going to be a great mother. She cared for this little girl. The more I looked at the duo, the more my heart accelerated because the picture of Emma pregnant with my child was permanently taking residence in my head.

When Emma announced that it was time to leave, Angela released a melancholy sigh. Moving towards her, I bent over and gave her a big hug. In my arms, she felt so little; too frail and very much fragile. It made me want to hold her longer, feeling out of sorts because this tiny thing seemed so upbeat given the situation. Older people could learn a thing or two from her.

“Take good care of yourself and rest up.”

Angela gave me a toothy grin. “If you guys ever get married and have a little girl, will you guys name your daughter after me?”

Her question seemed to throw me off for a few beats, but I immediately recovered and pasted a large smile before giving her a high five. “Definitely. I want her to be as charming as you are.”

“I would really love that, you know.”

I smiled, waving, before I walked towards the door, waiting for Emma to say her goodbyes as well. “I’ll try to come by again when I get back from Vancouver.”

Angela waved both of her hands. “It was nice meeting you. If I don’t see you again, I just want you to know that this was the best gift ever. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled back, though I was a little confused as we exited her room.

We quietly made our way towards the elevator, into the cart, out of it, both deep in thought as we walked towards where I parked my car.

My mind swirled with questions; one particularly stood out among the rest. Pausing, I glanced sideways, frowning. “Em, what did she mean when she said
if I don’t see you again?
It might seem odd, but Angela sounded like she meant something else other than the obvious.”

Emma’s face immediately shadowed with sadness. “If she doesn’t survive…”

Of course, why hadn’t I thought of that? Maybe because she was ten-years-old and kids that age weren’t supposed to have to think about death? “Oh—” I blew a long, stressed whistle out. “Wow. She’s too young to even think like that.”

“You’ll be surprised how depressing and sad it is when they talk about it. They’re kids, for crying out loud. They’re supposed to be playing, painting nails, watching movies and spending time with their friends; not battling a disease for survival.”

It was one thing for a grown person going through something so life altering, but seeing a child go through it was beyond heart-breaking. It simply broke you.

Emma was attached to Angela, that much had become obvious. The two had bonded for a short period of time, and seeing the fear and pain in her eyes made me
reach out to her and kiss her forehead. I wanted to make the sadness go away and reassure her that everything was going to be fine. “She’s an amazing, tough kid with a great spirit. With you by her side as her cheerleader, she’ll make it.

“You’re doing a marvelous thing here.” I placed my finger on her chin, tilting it so our gazes would meet. Her eyes held moisture in them, making me somehow helpless. “I’m so proud of what you’re doing, Emma. You’re not in this because you’re obligated to make a difference, you’re really doing it because your heart aches for it.” I made a mental note to call my lawyer to make the children’s hospital’s cancer ward to be in a part of my yearly charity donations. This one held meaning because it was close to Emma’s heart.

Emma sighed, burying her head in my chest, sniffing. She stayed there awhile as I held her until her worries subsided and she got herself together. We could stay here for as long as she wanted, I didn’t mind at all.

After a good minute, she lifted her face off my chest, looking at me with love in her eyes. “Ready to head home?”

I gazed at the woman who had captured my entire existence for a long moment, realizing that yes, I was definitely ready. “I am,” I responded, smiling.

~B~

It had been about almost a year since we left Aspasia filming Blasphemous, and I had reached a point where I knew what I wanted in life.

Emma yawned, stretching after she ravished the entire portion of double chocolate cake. “I missed this,” she sighed, staring at the stars before glancing at me. “And I’ve definitely missed you.”

She had just started school again, and I had been busy with work. We hadn’t seen each other in two weeks, and yet, it felt like I hadn’t seen her in a lifetime. “Good to know I’ve been missed.” It was more than good. In fact, I was relieved. A part of me was actually terrified that she might up and leave me because the going was getting tough…and it was getting tougher by the day.

Greece. Filming. Carter. Break-up. Jealousy. Heartbreak. Blasphemous. Nikki. Carter
again
. Getting back together…and now, we’d come back to where we’d both begun getting to know each other. My patio, stargazing, talking and sharing stories while we spent some quality time together.

The past months had been shitload after shitload of volatile trials. Even after Nikki, the woman who I had a fling with during filming and the consequences that had come after it—Emma was still by my side.

She loved me, I knew that, but even if the entire world knew about our relationship, Carter hadn’t withdrawn his interest in her. In fact, it was only last week that I heard him say
he loved her
while we were on a video call. You see, Emma was in the kitchen when everyone flooded in from his recent game, and the dick hadn’t cared that Emma was talking to her boyfriend because he daringly went straight to her and kissed her on the cheek before saying those three words,
while I was there
, witnessing it all happen.

He was messing with my brain and confidence, and no matter how much I tried to push the worry aside—it remained there, taunting me. Emma, of course, apologized for his behavior, but it wasn’t her place to do that and I told her so.

Normally, I’d have gone ballistic and I was. Inside, I was raging with fury. Yet, I had to keep my temper in check, stretching my limits to understand “his situation” because he was in love with my woman.

There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t regret letting Emma go. Those eight months alone were barren, but what was worse was that it practically drove Emma back to him…and me having a fling. It was a gargantuan mistake that was weighing heavily on my chest, knowing that Nikki was going to milk every damn opportunity to drive a wedge between Emma and me.

The unfortunate events had been rolling with unstoppable force. Even with all this worry, there was stress added by my parents, hectic work schedule…one thing remained the same.