Flare (15 page)

“Serious thanks for that. You always seem to know what I need.”

“Like right now? I know you need to have sex rather than kiss all night like you said in the lake,” Hugo said with a grin. He looked so flirty that Kevin’s steps quickly ate up the distance between them.

“You’re right.” Kevin knelt between Hugo’s legs and leaned forward for a kiss. It was deep and wet and greedy right from the get-go.

Hugo moaned, and Kevin’s brain was dragged back to the videos he was just thinking about. Was any of that really what Hugo wanted? He sat back and studied Hugo’s face as he allowed his palms to skate over Hugo’s throat. The skin was so thin there.

He couldn’t do it, even if this was something Hugo needed. He just couldn’t because that would mean he would be hurting someone he loved. Kevin kissed that skin instead and sucked at it, hard enough that there’d be a mark. That was all the damage he was willing to do to this wonderful man.

“I’m sorry,” Kevin said after long minutes spent kissing Hugo’s throat and neck. “I’m sorry I can’t give you all you need.”

“You do. You give me everything.”

Kevin kept on kissing, moving farther down Hugo’s body to try to make up for the fact that he wasn’t ever going to be anything but white bread.
White bread could still be good
, he thought as he swirled his tongue around Hugo’s nipple, causing Hugo to grab Kevin’s hair to keep him from moving away too fast. Kevin bit and tugged in the way he knew Hugo enjoyed, daring a peek up to meet his gaze.

Hugo’s body was curled tight so he could watch Kevin. His mouth was parted and moans easily moved past those gorgeous lips as Kevin nipped and sucked.

Kevin felt Hugo’s cock throb, so he kept kissing down his body, covering his lean stomach with wet kisses, and then sucked Hugo’s pink, wet head past his lips. He allowed his tongue to explore all those sensitive spots that caused Hugo to moan. The trail his mouth had taken, Kevin now followed with his hands. He didn’t want to forget where he’d just been. He didn’t ever want to let Hugo go.

“God, Kevin. You’re killing me,” Hugo said with a strained voice.

“Why?” Kevin asked after pulling off the end of Hugo’s cock with a wet pop.

“You’re doing everything so slow.”

“I’m savoring you.”

Hugo laughed at that, and then Kevin realized how ridiculous he was being.

Kevin tucked his hands under Hugo’s knees and pushed them forward, all the while kissing Hugo’s balls and then his taint until he came to… metal?

Kevin quickly sat back on his haunches and just stared at Hugo’s ass. “What the…?”

Hugo looked shy. “Is that okay?”

“What is it?”

“A plug. I just wanted to be ready for you, ’cuz you seemed like you really needed to just—”

Kevin stopped Hugo’s words with kisses and his tongue. Hugo’s warm palms skimmed down Kevin’s back, holding on and pulling him closer. Then his hands moved, slow and tickly.

Kevin wanted to look at the plug again and touch it. He pulled away and dared to trace the metal with a finger. It was surprisingly warm. He expected it to be cool.

“When did you put this in?” he asked.

“Right away when I came in.”

Kevin held on to the little oval handle and barely moved it, hoping he’d make the plug bump up against Hugo’s prostate. The way Hugo moaned and then palmed his chest made Kevin think he met his goal. He turned the handle a little to the left and then to the right and watched as Hugo’s eyes scrunched tighter. Then Kevin pulled and slowly watched the bulbous plug slide out, leaving Hugo’s pink ass so tempting, so ready. He was going to be easy to slide into. There was even enough of the slippery lube left over, so Kevin set the plug down.

Kevin watched as he pressed the head of his cock to Hugo’s ready-and-waiting body, then looked to Hugo’s eyes. Midnight blue looked back, and Hugo’s pretty mouth spread into the most gorgeous smile. Hugo lifted his hand and curled his fingers:
Come closer.

Kevin followed direction and groaned loudly at how warm and willing Hugo’s body was, and then he groaned again, louder this time, because Hugo pulled him down into the most decadent kiss Kevin had ever had. He felt their tongues and lips moving in the realization of every fantasy he’d ever had. Then he remembered his cock again and started to thrust.

It seemed like forever ago since Kevin had been so lost in Hugo’s body and in the moment of them connecting like this. Hugo seemed just as overtaken, palming Kevin in long, sensuous strokes and pulling him closer, telling Kevin how much he loved him and using overly romantic words like
harmonious
and
glorious
. Kevin was the romantic, not Hugo.

“I love so many things about you,” Hugo whispered near the sensitive skin at Kevin’s shoulder. He placed gentle, wet kisses there too. He caressed Kevin’s skin so softly it almost tickled, and he spoke in such a beautiful voice. He told Kevin all the things he loved about him in quiet whispers.

“Gray eyes. Strong hands. Kind heart.” His words were peppered with kisses and groping hands that pulled Kevin deeper, forcing him to thrust harder, and dragging wanton moans from both of them. “I love that you’re taller than me. That I have to look up to you, stand on my toes to kiss you when you’re in shoes and I’m barefoot.”

“God. I love that too. You make me feel strong, like I can protect you. I want to protect you,” Kevin admitted.

“And you love me. I know you do.”

“I do. So much.”

It was so good the way they were coming together. Kevin felt so connected to Hugo.

“I’m almost there,” Hugo suddenly said. “Little faster.”

Kevin sat back and tried to give him just what he needed. Hugo moaned and Kevin watched as he reached for himself and tugged and stroked in the way he liked. Kevin loved to watch him and tried to encourage him with words. He was rewarded with sweet warmth that splashed lightly on his skin before falling and landing on Hugo’s belly.

It was Kevin’s turn now, and it wasn’t going to take much. He allowed himself a few moments to get lost in the feel of Hugo’s body and thrust to his heart’s content. Then he was coming and Hugo was laughing in a delighted way, as if his entire day had just been made.

Kevin watched Hugo’s utter joy and knew he wasn’t going to lose Hugo because he was a little tamer in the sack than people making porn. It was their job to be provocative and cutting-edge. It was Kevin’s job to love Hugo and show him that love just as he had.

Kevin captured Hugo’s smiling mouth in a deep kiss and refused to stop.
Now
he wanted to kiss for the rest of the night.

It went on and on, both of them trying both new and familiar things with their lips, teeth, and tongues. Some movements inspired snorts of laughter and others drew out growls. The kisses became less and less intense as the minutes ticked by. They both sighed in a contented way, and when Kevin looked at Hugo, he was gifted with a slow, lazy smile.

“God, I love you.”

“It’s Hugo, remember?” He deadpanned his delivery.

“Shut up. You know what I mean,” Kevin said with fake frustration.

Hugo lifted his arm to open up a spot for Kevin where he easily got settled. This was second nature.

Kevin fingered the marks he’d left. There was time for the love bites to heal before the kids would see them. He couldn’t help but smile against Hugo’s chest. They didn’t have to do anything drastic or dangerous to enjoy sex with each other.

“I don’t need kinky,” Kevin said in a sleepy mumble. “But do you?”

Hugo moved his palm across Kevin’s back and took a deep breath. “No. I just want you to stay interested, and I know the stress of things has made it so I’m not always as willing or eager as you are.”

“That’s okay, you know. That doesn’t make me feel rejected.” Kevin watched Hugo’s face become worried, so he pushed himself up on an elbow to see Hugo’s expressions better. “I’m serious, Hugo.”

“But you’re always so much more ready to go than I am lately.”

It was true. Any minute they were left alone long enough, Kevin wanted to have sex. It was hard to have Hugo gone so often, and Kevin didn’t want to waste the few opportunities they did have to be together. They often didn’t have sex because conversations needed to happen or errands, but Hugo was right. Kevin was ready at the drop of a hat—probably the reason Hugo had used the plug tonight.

“I went for well over a year with no sex at all when Erin and I were dealing with our separation, not to mention the months and months before we decided to split. I’m capable of getting myself off, you know? The last thing I want to do is make you feel like you have to give in to me. What kind of men are you used to dating? I’m confused.”

Hugo sighed and looked worried. Yet he remained silent. Maybe he thought that was a rhetorical question.

“Why haven’t we talked about this? Isn’t the whole exes conversation supposed to happen earlier than this in a relationship?”

Hugo reached out and thumbed over the contours of Kevin’s face, only stopping after he’d brushed over his lips. “Don’t stress. We had so many more important things to talk about than my ex-boyfriends.”

“Yeah, but now I feel like we need to have this conversation. This is the second time tonight something like this has been brought up, and it’s far from the first time you’ve hinted at bad shit happening in the past. You told me about Michael cheating on you and you being nearly raped on the street by a stranger, but what else has happened that I should know about?”

Hugo stared up at the ceiling. His refusal to make eye contact was obvious, but rather than panicking and taking back his question, Kevin waited patiently to see if it was because he was being nosy or because Hugo needed time to think how to tell him.

“After the guy who took me to the sex party, I dated an older guy, a professor at one of the private colleges in the city. He was decent at first, but the longer we were together the more condescending he got. There were several cast mates over the years, but those relationships burn white-hot and die quickly, so nothing bad ever happened there. Seth thought I needed to be the center of attention because I’m an actor, so I dumped him.”

Hugo finally looked over at Kevin and gave him a sad, hesitant smile before taking what seemed to be a steadying breath. “Steve was the one who hit me. Only a few times, though.”

“Once is one time too many, Hugh.” Kevin reached for Hugo’s jaw and leaned in to kiss him, but Hugo pulled away first.

“I know. I know that now, but I wasn’t in the best place then. He made sure of that. We lived together because I’d been kicked out of my shitty apartment, and I refused to move back in with my mom. Steve was this savior. He opened his beautiful house up to me and helped me get my life back on track, but it all came with a cost. I left in the middle of the night while he was away on a business trip. I was so afraid that I didn’t even feel like I could leave him when the sun was up. Summer has kept a really close eye on the guys I’ve dated since. She’s very protective.”

“I got off easy, it seems,” Kevin said. “But I suppose you told her our history, considering she asked me about Tricia.” Hugo nodded but refused to elaborate.

“Then there was a guy who was closeted. He was nice when we were alone, hanging with my friends, or at gay-friendly places where he knew no one and could blend in. But if he ever spotted anyone he knew from his other life, he treated me like shit. He’d go off on gays with me right there. Of course, me being me, I can’t exactly hide it all the time, and no matter how hard I tried to pull out all my old tricks that kept me closeted in high school, I just couldn’t do it anymore. My voice would go up while I laughed or I’d say some word he’d deemed gay, or worst of all, I’d move in a way that was sorta femme. In the end I realized I was putting myself back in the closet for a guy who might never come out, and I’d already vowed to myself that I’d never go back to that life again.”

“You shouldn’t have to, and any guy that makes you feel like that isn’t worth it,” Kevin said with conviction, even if Kevin still had moments when he felt terror-stricken when he was out with Hugo and saw someone from his past who didn’t yet know he was bisexual. The conversation he and Hugo had months prior about how people would automatically assume Kevin was gay often ran though his mind during those moments. They wouldn’t consider that he might be bisexual when they held hands or kissed.

“He was the last closet case I dated. But I always dated. It was often only a matter of days or weeks before I was with someone new.” Hugo gave a curious little grin. “There were a lot of innocuous guys I was serially monogamous with. Some stuck around for a month. Others were around for half a year. Most had a hard time with how busy I was, because my career had taken off by then, in no small part due to some of the connections I made while dating Steve.

“And then there was Michael. Cheating cheater who cheats and all that comes along with that. Lying liar who lies. So I took a break from dating until I saw you again.”

“What made you feel like you needed to take a break, ’cause I’m assuming that was done purposefully?” Kevin asked. “Not to mention, I’ve seen how you turn heads.”

“It was on purpose. You’re right. I felt like I didn’t know myself. I’m what a therapist once labeled as highly sensitive or empathetic to other people’s emotions. It’s one of those things that helps me as an actor and also works great in getting to know new people. But one of the personal hazards is that I also take on other people’s emotions quite easily, even
trying on
, for lack of a better word, their characteristics. Back then I knew exactly who I was in my professional life, but I had no clue who I was in the context of a relationship with a man. I knew being in yet another shitty relationship wasn’t going to help me without fixing that.” Hugo scrunched up his face, which told Kevin he was embarrassed. “That’s the short story, so imagine how long the story would be if I went into all the details.”

“I’d listen to all the details,” Kevin said in all seriousness.

“But the details aren’t what matter. It’s what I learned in the end that matters.”