Flare (13 page)

“You deserve an apology. He owes you that much,” Kevin told him over the phone when Hugo was in LA working on pickups for the movie. Hugo and his luggage were being shuttled from the hotel to the sound studio, and he was taking advantage of his downtime. If they got done today, he’d get to go home. That was the hope anyway.

“I don’t know.” Hugo didn’t really need to hear an apology. He’d moved on long ago.

“What he said to you, it’s really been bugging him.”

“So this is to make Mike feel better?” Hugo couldn’t help the cockiness that slipped through his apathy.

“No. Well maybe, but I think you’d feel differently once you knew what was really going on.” It sounded as if this was important to Kevin; Hugo wanted to know why.

“Why don’t you tell me what I need to know, because at the moment, I don’t really care.”

“A lot happened recently.”

“Like what?” Hugo tried to sound interested for Kevin’s sake, but he really had no desire to be buddy-buddy with Mike.

“He was laid off but apparently didn’t tell Dena until he found another job, months later. Then to try to get his life back on track, he decided to volunteer. He and Dena came by a few years ago to talk about the marriage equality laws. That’s one of the reasons I invited him along to the art fair that weekend. I thought he’d be cool with you and me being together.” Kevin’s little laugh was filled with regret.

“Don’t take the blame for something he did, Kevin.”

“I’m not. I’m really not. It’s just that his political involvement inspired someone, and Mike got a few shocking pieces of news that sorta shook his whole foundation. He was knee-deep in dealing with that shit when he saw you as Miss Cherrie.”

“What sort of news?” Hugo asked.

Kevin seemed hesitant to tell someone else’s secrets, but then he took a deep breath. “His dad came out of the closet at sixty-three years old and left his mom.”

“Holy shit.”

“This is how Mike saw it: his dad had lied for years and then left his mom out in the cold. He freaked on you because drag felt dishonest, but mostly because you were an easy scapegoat for his anger. Ironically, he ended up lying to Dena again, not telling her about his dad. Eventually it was too much and he lost it. He wants to apologize to you in person. He still feels like shit about what he said, especially how he made you feel.”

Hugo was silent. Did Mike want to do this to simply clear his conscience or was he truly apologetic?

“Hugo, are you still there?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how I feel about it, that’s all.”

“Well, we could start small. He and Dena have invited us to this game night they have on a regular basis. There are three to five couples that get together. We all have kids close in age, so the kids get to play and the adults do too. Maybe when you get home, you could test out the waters there.”

“Do you know these other people?”

“I do now. I took the kids a few nights ago. My golf buddy Andrew and his wife Sarah go too. Just think about it. I didn’t want to just spring this on you and expect a decision right away. I wanted to give you time to really think about it first. Okay?”

“Okay,” Hugo said. “I feel like I need to know why this is so important to you.”

“I guess… I want us to have friends here. This is where we live. Shouldn’t we have a social life here?”

The car he was riding in came to a stop, and the driver turned to say they were at their destination. “Kev, I’ve got to go. We finally got to the studio.”

“I love you. Have a great day.”

“You too.”

Hugo got out of the car and followed the assistant, who immediately made contact with him, handing him a newly revised script. As he listened to her rattle off hundreds of details, he tried to push away the apprehension in his belly. When he was left alone to get his head into his character, Hugo couldn’t help the sense of sadness that he’d missed out on more of Kevin’s life. Now he was off making new friends… coupled friends, while Hugo was making a movie. He wanted to be part of that social life Kevin desired, even if it meant swallowing his pride and allowing Mike to apologize. He was tired of hearing about the life he was missing out on.

Throughout the day, his mind kept wandering back to where he wanted to be while he waited on Barry. He was listening to a few tracks while Hugo waited to see if another few takes were needed, which did nothing to help stave off his daydreaming.

He wanted to act, but he wanted to be a dad to Brooke and Finn and a partner to Kevin even more. Acting was there to help make money, but there was no need for him to be a millionaire. He missed being at home working on a play and designing sets and shopping for props and hunting down fabric for costumes in his favorite thrift shops. The Fringe Festival had already happened at the beginning of August, and for the first time in ages, Hugo hadn’t been a part of it. He was always part of the Fringe. Always.

He wanted the simplicity of his old life back. He didn’t want to give up Kevin or the kids, but he
did
want to feel less responsible than he’d felt for the past year while he was Erin’s caregiver. His entire life had been upended when he started dating Kevin. He thought everything would smooth out or at least settle down after the majority of the family’s initial grieving was over, but all that seemed to happen was that Hugo added more work on top of his already heaping load. Yes, it helped that Rowan took over, but he wanted to be the one driving the kids to their yoga class in Uptown, not her.

And it was exhausting being away from home for so many days at a time, living out of a suitcase, and sitting in windowless studios when it was beautiful outside. Hugo was naturally pale, but he’d never been as pale as he currently was during the summer in his entire life. He’d barely spent time at the lake either; maybe a weekend or two. Kevin, Rowan, and the kids were there all the time.

Rowan had met Myles, Kevin’s odd lake neighbor who inappropriately flirted with her, much as he always had with Summer. Even Summer had been to the lake more often than Hugo, heading up with Russell and having fun partying with all the adults on the deck and grilling thick, juicy steaks on Myles’ fancy stainless-steel grill. Apparently he took it pretty hard when he saw how close Summer and Russell were, but as soon as Russell mentioned he was Erin’s little brother, Myles seemed curiously okay with his relationship with Summer. That was when he started hitting on Rowan, even in front of the kids, to the point that she was practically beating him off with a stick.

Kevin had told Hugo the stories of what had happened while he was off working yet another job on one of the coasts—he couldn’t recall which. The stories were Kevin’s way to make Hugo feel as if he were connected or involved, but more than anything, they just made him miss being home even more.

He wanted to watch Russell’s and Summer’s facial expressions. He wanted to hear the cutting words Rowan had said that burrowed though all the cotton in Myles’ ears and got the point across that she wasn’t interested in him. And he wished he could’ve been there the day Rowan introduced Myles to a brash woman she’d met while playing mini golf with the kids. Her name was Gloria and she had a four-year-old son who had taken a liking to Finn, thinking it was cool to have a six-year-old friend. It wasn’t love at first sight for either of them, but apparently the more Myles and Gloria talked, the more smitten Myles became with the frank but kind woman who saw what Myles often buried underneath his hard shell of false bravado. He was a genuinely nice man and very generous.

Hugo had missed all of that, and it saddened him because he was often sitting alone in a dingy hotel room or dirty café sipping bitter coffee while the rest of his family and friends were smiling and laughing and feeling as if they were a part of each other’s lives. He felt so isolated when he was given updates on his phone or computer. Sometimes the stories just made him nostalgic, like those about his friends. Other times, they were about life-changing moments he had missed.

Like in mid-July when Kevin had gone into mediation with the Clarkes. Hugo was back in LA working on a small, supporting role in a film, two thousand miles away.

There had even been debate about how mediation would occur, and Hugo had joked that they might need to go into mediation just to get to mediation. Kevin’s laugh had been nervous, and Hugo wanted to curse himself for ever saying yes to all the jobs. He should’ve said no. He should’ve said no to working that summer and just stayed home with the kids, but he hadn’t, and he wasn’t where he’d needed to be, which was right next to Kevin in that stupid meeting room so he could hold his hand underneath the table and press encouragement into his palm.

The first meeting hadn’t gone well. It seemed more like a bloodbath the way Kevin relayed what had happened. In the name of “This isn’t what our daughter would’ve wanted,” the Clarkes brought up every little argument Kevin and Erin had had over the years related to the kids. They had blown them so far out of proportion that it looked as if Kevin had shit-covered laundry strewn everywhere. They’d conveniently left out all the things Kevin and Erin had agreed on, all the good things, which was nearly everything related to parenting the kids, even if they’d had different means of getting to the same end.

Mark had tried to mop up the mess by talking about Erin’s desires that were blatantly written in black and white in the journals she’d left with Kevin and Hugo, as well as the legal documents she had drawn up with her own lawyer.

Everything Erin had wanted had been clearly stated. Kevin and Hugo were to raise Brooke and Finn. Those were her wishes, plain and simple. The only mention she made of her own parents was that she hoped Kevin and Hugo would continue to foster the relationship between the kids and their grandparents. All of their grandparents, not just the Clarkes in particular.

“They’re the ones who’ve broken down that link,” Hugo helplessly had said over the phone, trying to make Kevin feel better. Nothing had been decided during their first mediation meeting, but by the looks of things, the three sessions they’d decided on might not be enough.

“Earth to Hugo,” the assistant said as she waved her hand in front of Hugo’s face.

“Yes?” He was utterly spent after working all day. He needed a break.

“Barry said those last takes sounded great. The car is here to take you to the airport. We’re done. You can go home.”

“Great,” Hugo said around a smile. “Thank you.”

Hugo walked out into the bright California sunshine and squinted. He couldn’t wait to get home to relax with his family under the same sky.

CHAPTER TEN

Protection

S
UMMER
AND
Russell had insisted on taking the kids camping up north in the Iron Range. Rowan begged to go along too once she heard where they were headed. They’d be spending a week in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, portaging from one body of water to another, cooking over an open flame, and camping in the wilderness. Kevin had been more than pleased they hadn’t asked him to join them—at thirty-six years old, sleeping on the ground rather than in a bed was not what it had been at sixteen. He also made sure Rowan knew what she was truly getting into before she agreed. Apparently her time in Montana had toughened her up to roughing it, and she was looking forward to a week in the forest.

“There’s been enough crazy, in a bad way,” Summer had said as a way to convince Kevin to agree to their plans. “Now Brooke and Finn need crazy in a good way. They need to see all the beauty that’s out there for them to explore.”

“Says the nature girl who’s gonna wear makeup every day she’s camping.” Hugo teased her despite all the time Kevin had heard him refer to Summer as his Earth Mama.

“Shut it, Cherrie. You love makeup just as much as I do,” she retorted, and Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at the good-natured banter between best friends. It was even funnier when Hugo shrugged, clearly giving the points to Summer on that argument, and then he watched Hugo pull out his pomegranate-raspberry lip balm and dramatically spread it over his lips, then smack them in Summer’s direction. Hugo could be a sassy little tease when he wanted, and apparently right then, he wanted to be. Kevin pulled his head back into the original conversation about camping, pushing out his desire to lick and suck at Hugo’s glistening lips.

“But you’ll be out in the middle of nowhere without cell phone coverage,” Kevin said, airing his fear of not being able to get in contact if something went wrong, like a nightmare or injury.

“That’s part of the beauty, Kevin. Kids nowadays are too connected. Getting them away from electricity will be good for ’em. How else will they learn about how hard life is without power? And we’ll take care of everything else. Seriously,” Summer said with such conviction as she held out a complicated compass in her palm as if the antiquated tool should somehow remove all doubt. Kevin relented because he trusted her. Summer was a teacher, after all, taking care of twenty-odd kids on a daily basis. And there were Rowan and Russell as well.

Of course, Kevin had also gone to REI and spent far too much money on camping gear for his kids, demanding the best of everything. Hugo had laughed, reminding him about the time in high school when they had literally slept outside on one of their fishing trips because Kevin had forgotten the tent in his garage beside his dad’s car.

“They’ll survive without GPS and platinum sporks. I promise,” Hugo teased as they waved good-bye to the kids while Russell drove away.

Kevin and Hugo, on the other hand, were spending their second to last week of summer at the lake floating on the water, water-skiing, and trying to make the most of their time together. Lulu lazed about, sunning herself on the dock and then moving to the shady part of the deck, even getting in the water and swimming about to cool herself off.

It had been a trying few months with all the legal bullshit and the time Hugo had spent away from home. Despite his concerns over his kids being in the wilderness, they were with three responsible adults, and he honestly needed to have some time to relax.