Flowers on Main (25 page)

“We talk,” she said. “We put it all out there, what happened, how I felt, how you felt. We deal with the anger and the re
criminations and all the rest of it. Then we put it behind us once and for all.”

Her proposal clearly wasn’t what he’d been expecting. Shadows darkened his eyes.

“No,” he said flatly. “Water under the bridge.”

She shook her head at that. “No, it’s not. It’s backed up so deep, we’re both drowning in it.”

“Why do you want to do this?” he asked, looking perplexed.

“You kissed me, Jake, that’s why. Twice, in fact. Everything we ever felt was in those kisses and I want it back. We’ll never get it if we don’t put the past to rest.”

“I don’t want it back,” he insisted. “I don’t want you.”

“Liar,” she said succinctly.

She could see him struggling with a smile, but he couldn’t contain it.

“Okay, yeah, the first kiss might have been nothing more than an impulse, but even I can’t dismiss the one today so easily. It pretty much proved how much passion’s left between us, but I’m stronger than that.”

“Why should you have to be? Why shouldn’t we try again?”

“Because I don’t want to,” he claimed.

“You don’t
want
to want to,” she said. “There’s a difference.”

“Not if I put my mind to it,” he replied.

She didn’t even try to stop her own smile. “But it takes so much energy to fight it, Jake. This thing between us will win. We both know it. We couldn’t fight it years ago when it started. We were barely in junior high, but we already knew what we wanted, knew we belonged together.”

“That was then,” he insisted stubbornly.

“I think I can prove it hasn’t changed.”

He frowned at that. “Okay, let’s say you’re right. I need to know something before we get into this thing between us any
deeper. Why did you come back to Chesapeake Shores? Was it for me?”

She honestly couldn’t say that, so she shook her head. “Chicago wasn’t working for me anymore. Being back here, it felt right.”

“So this all-consuming thing you claim exists between you and me, that was just an afterthought, maybe a pleasant way to pass the time now that you’re here?”

She heard the heat and anger behind his words, maybe even a hint of sorrow, but she couldn’t deny that he was at least partially right. He wasn’t the reason she was back. But he might be the reason she’d stayed.
Might be,
however, wasn’t good enough.

“What’s the matter, Bree? Cat got your tongue?”

“I don’t want to lie to you.”

“Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time.”

She regarded him with indignation. “I never lied to you, Jake. Never!”

“I suppose that’s true,” he admitted. “You got me on a technicality. You didn’t flat-out lie. You never said anything at all. You just let me believe we were going to have a future and then you left. Do you have any idea how it felt, knowing that I was good enough to marry if there had been a baby, but once you lost the baby I was totally dispensable? You didn’t need me anymore.”

“It wasn’t like that,” she said, though she knew it had been exactly like that. Tears of shame welled up in her eyes. She’d been selfish and immature and she was sorry. “I never meant to hurt you. I was only thinking about what I wanted, what I needed.”

“And I was an afterthought, just like when you came back here. How am I supposed to get past that? How can I forget it?”

“Maybe you can’t forget,” she conceded. “But what about forgiveness, Jake. Do you think maybe you can forgive me? I am sorry. I truly am.”

His gaze held hers, and then he looked away. “Maybe someday,” he said quietly. “But not today. Not when you still can’t say I come first with you. I deserve better than that, Bree.”

Bree heard the finality in his voice and stood. She could only go so far to make amends, to win him back. Until he was ready to meet her partway—until she could say what he really needed to hear—there was no point.

“Call me when you’re ready to try,” she said, then unlocked the door and walked away, waving distractedly at Connie as she passed and not allowing a single tear to fall until she’d reached the seclusion of her car.

Then she wept, not just for herself, but for all the pain she’d obviously caused a man who hadn’t deserved it. All Jake had ever done was love her unconditionally, stand by her when she’d discovered she was pregnant. What had she given him in return? Nothing.

Oh, she’d thought that she’d given him her heart, but she’d handed it over with strings attached. He had to let her go, let her make a success of herself halfway across the country, wait for her. And he had to do all of that with no promises, no commitment.

And when he’d even been willing to accept her terms, she’d betrayed him by falling into bed with Marty, a man who wasn’t half as decent or kind or loving. It was a wonder Jake didn’t hate her after that.

The real wonder, though, was that he still loved her, even after everything she’d done. He didn’t want to, certainly, but he did.

And one of these days, if she was careful with his heart and patient with him, he just might admit it and give her another chance.

Sitting in his big country kitchen, with sunlight streaming through the windows, Mick’s mood turned dark. He cut off his cell phone and muttered a curse that had Nell regarding him with stern disapproval.

“Sorry, Ma,” he said automatically.

“Mind telling me what’s upset you enough to use that kind of language when I’m sitting right here in front of you?”

“The project in Seattle’s hit a snag. I need to fly out there today.”

“You used to jump at the chance to rush in and untangle a snag,” she commented, studying him curiously. “What’s changed?”

“Tonight I have dinner plans in New York with Megan,” he said grimly.

She nodded in understanding. “I see. And she’s going to think you’re falling right back into the same old pattern if you cancel.”

“Who could blame her?”

“Tell me, is this snag in Seattle likely to change much between today and tomorrow?”

He thought about the question, then shook his head. “No.”

“Then couldn’t you just as easily fly out first thing in the morning from New York, instead of later today from Baltimore?”

He regarded her with amazement. “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Old habits are hard to break,” she said. “For a lot of years you rushed right out the door, no matter what was going on around here. I suspect most of those crises could have been handled some other way, too, but you only know the one
way. You have to go and fix things yourself, the faster, the better.”

“It’s my company, my responsibility,” he said defensively.

“But part of being a good man is learning to balance the priorities in your life. This is your family and therefore just as much your responsibility as your business. There were times when seeing Connor play ball or Jess in the Christmas pageant at school were just as important as whatever crisis was going on at work.”

“You have a point,” he conceded grudgingly.

She sat back, a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. “Of course I do. I didn’t get to be this age without learning a thing or two about life. You’d do well to listen to me more often.”

Mick chuckled. “You still think an old dog like me can learn a few new tricks?”

“I’m sure of it,” Nell said. “You’re an O’Brien, aren’t you? We have an endless capacity for reinventing ourselves. Just look at what Abby’s doing. Or Bree. They’ve turned their whole lives around these past few months.”

Mick wished he felt as comfortable with those changes as Nell apparently did. “Speaking of Bree, do you really think she’s happy?” he asked. That had been bothering him a lot recently. Bree was turning her new business into a success, no question about that, but he couldn’t help wondering if she wasn’t hiding from the kind of work she’d been meant to do.

“Happy enough, I suppose,” Nell said. Her expression turned thoughtful. “But fulfilled? That’s another story.”

“Do you think she’s writing at all?”

“I see the light on in her room till all hours, so she might be. She could just as easily be lost in some book she’s reading, though.”

“I don’t like it,” Mick said. “And I blame Demming for it.”

“Well, I’m more worried about the man who’s right here under our noses,” Nell admitted. “It can’t be easy for her, dealing with Jake day in and day out the way she has to. Can’t be easy for him, either.”

Mick frowned at that. “Do you know what happened between those two?”

His mother shook her head. “I have my suspicions, but no facts.”

“Okay, what do you
think
happened?”

“I’m not going to speculate,” she said. “These are questions you need to be asking Bree.” She gave him a pointed look. “If you really want to hear the answers.”

“What do you mean by that? I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t want to know. I’m worried about her. She’s always kept things bottled up inside. She’s not like Abby, who says what’s on her mind. Or Jess, who flies off the handle at the drop of a hat. I had to get used to Bree’s way of dealing with things, but there’s something different about the way she is now.” He shrugged, trying to find the right words. “It’s like her soul’s been bruised.”

To his regret, Nell nodded slowly. He’d been hoping for a denial.

“Couldn’t you talk to her?” he pleaded. “Or maybe Abby would.”

“I think we just need to let her be for now. She’ll work through this in her own time. She always has.”

Mick wasn’t content with that. “What if she can’t find her way?”

“Then we’ll be here for her, same as always.” She covered his hand. “She knows that, Mick. She counts on it.”

“You’ve been here,” he corrected. “Not me.”

“You’re here now,” she said, letting him off the hook for the past.

“I doubt we can fix anything before I fly to New York and then Seattle,” he said wryly.

“You planning to be gone for weeks?” she retorted.

“No, a few days at most.”

“Then we’ll reevaluate when you get back. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

He smiled at that. “You always have. Do I tell you often enough how grateful I am that you were always here for my kids, especially in the rocky days after Megan left and I ran off to bury myself in work?”

“That’s what family does,” she said simply. “If there’s a void, we step in and do what needs to be done.”

Mick sighed. Of all the lessons she’d ever taught him, why did it seem that was the one that hadn’t stuck. He’d failed Megan, failed his kids. No more, though. From here on out, he was going to be front and center in their lives. He didn’t miss the irony that he’d waited until they were all adults and pretty much set on their own paths before figuring out what it meant to be a real father.

“How’d it go with Jake?” Jess asked when Bree got back to Flowers on Main.

“How do you think? He’s still stubborn as a mule,” she said grimly. “Thanks for running over here to fill in for me. I didn’t want to set a precedent for sticking a Closed sign on the door in the middle of the day. I suppose I’m going to have to think about part-time help soon. I thought I could handle the shop by myself, but I’m beginning to see that’s all but impossible.”

“Well, until you find someone, I can be your backup. As
for today, I’m almost disappointed you’re back so soon. I was hoping I’d have to stick around for the rest of the afternoon.”

“Were you hoping to avoid problems at the inn?”

Jess grinned. “No, I was hoping you’d be off somewhere having your wicked way with Jake.”

“I wish. Maybe if he’d let nature take its course, we could get past some of these barriers between us,” Bree said with real regret. “But he’s not going to give in to temptation so easily.”

“He’s a man. He’ll cave eventually,” Jess said knowingly.

Bree shook her head. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe we can’t go back. There’s a lot of history we’d have to overcome.”

Jess studied her intently. “Do you really want Jake back, Bree? It wasn’t that long ago that you were involved with Marty. Maybe Jake’s just a rebound guy.”

“I was serious about Jake before I ever met Marty,” Bree reminded her. “I think that makes him an exception to the rebound thing.”

“Not necessarily. You know Jake loved you. There has to be a certain comfort in that. Going back to him would be familiar and safe.”

Bree shook her head at once. “There’s nothing safe about going back to Jake. There are monumental complications.”

“Such as?”

Bree needed to talk to someone. Abby might have been her first choice, but Jess was here. She drew in a deep breath and admitted, “I was pregnant with Jake’s baby before I went to Chicago.”

Jess stared at her with shock that quickly turned to dismay. “You didn’t have…”

“An abortion? No. I had a miscarriage.”

Jess’s expression filled with sympathy. “Oh my God! And none of us knew? Not even Gram or Abby?”

Bree shook her head. “I only told Jake. He wanted to marry me right away. He was ecstatic.”

Tears stung her eyes at the memory of the way he’d looked when she’d told him that she’d miscarried. He’d been devastated. And what had she said? She’d told him it was for the best, that they weren’t ready for marriage, that she wanted to go through with her plan to move to Chicago. She’d told him all that practically in the same breath with the announcement that they’d lost their child. Thinking of it now, she was filled with regret and dismay. How callous she must have sounded. How utterly selfish!

The tears that had welled in her eyes spilled down her cheeks and the next thing she knew she was sobbing. Jess flew around the counter and pulled her into her arms.

“It’s okay,” she murmured. “Let it out, Bree. I don’t know how you’ve kept it inside all these years.”

Instead, Bree pulled away and swiped impatiently at her damp cheeks. “I don’t know what got into me. I never think about this, at least I didn’t until recently.”

Jess regarded her solemnly. “Maybe you should. Losing a baby is a huge thing.”

Bree shook her head. “What good would it do? It’s over. I handled it the best way I knew how.”