Flutter (The Discover Series) (24 page)

“Holler if you need anything.” He said, getting up and walking toward the door. “Do you want me to leave it open?”

I thought about it for a moment, but decided against it. “No I’ll be fine.”

“Okay then. Good night Sara.”

I was asleep before he shut the door.

“How are you felling?”

Andres asked as I walked into the kitchen. If it was possible, the house looked even bigger during day light.

“I’m assuming that’s a trick question right?”

He was busy at the stove making scrambled eggs and bacon. The aroma from the food had drifted to me, making my stomach growl fiercely. I realized I didn’t know when the last time I had eaten was and I could easily devour a weeks worth of food.

I lifted myself into one of the barstools around the kitchen counter and Andres crossed the kitchen to place a plate full of fruit and toast on it, in front of me. I was grabbing at the fruit before he had fully put it down, sticking whole pieces of pineapple in my mouth. I don’t think anything had ever tasted as good as this piece of pineapple. I hadn’t completely finished chewing before I was grabbing at the toast.

“Sorry.” He said, returning to the stove to stir the eggs.

I sighed. “I’m feeling better, thanks. How about you?”

It was partially true. I had awakened feeling as good as I was sure I was going to get. The only thing different seem to be the flutter. It wasn’t just a slight hum anymore, at times it almost took my breath away.

“I’m doing okay.” He was making my plate now and I could hardly control myself. “No more bad dreams?”

“Nope.” I was practically salivating as he brought the plate over to me.

He eyed me, holding the plate in front of me. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing, unless you think losing a hand is something.”

He laughed, a deep rich laugh that bounced around the granite kitchen. “You know what they say, don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

He set the plate down in front of me and I pulled it toward me, grabbing at the bacon first. I couldn’t seem to get it into my mouth fast enough. I moaned as the oily delicious slid down my throat. Heaven.

“I’m sure I could learn how to cook if I don’t know how already.” I said around a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

He set down a glass of orange juice in front of me. “You actually do know how to cook. You make a pretty mean lasagna.” He smiled, leaning against the counter.

“I could live off lasagna.”

He laughed again and turned away to clean up. I looked up from the bite, on its way to my mouth, and asked. “You’re not hungry?”

“I ate earlier. I’ve been up for awhile.” He said putting things away into the massive, stainless steel, fridge.

“Is everything ten times the normal size in this house?”

He smiled and looked around. “Is it that bad?”

I shrugged. “I’m sure I’ll get use to it.”

He placed the dirty dishes in the sink. “I hope so. You didn’t seem to mind it before.”

“How many bedrooms are there?” I had finished the eggs and picking at the crumbs.

“Five.” He brought over the pan filling my plate with the remaining eggs, before playing it in the sink too. “Why?”

I had no shame as I started in on the second serving of eggs. “I wanted to see if I could change rooms.” I didn’t look up at him.

He leaned against the sink and folded his arms over his chest. “Of course, but is there something wrong with your room?”

“Not really, it just… creeps me out after my dream.” I shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

“The only other room that has a joining bathroom is down here. I can help you move your things later today.”

“Thank you.” I said happy he didn’t comment about my silly fear.

He set down a coffee cup I hadn’t even realized he had picked up. Turning on the water, he washed it out.

“It actually used to be your old bedroom.”

I frowned. “My old bedroom?”

He turned toward me. “We moved you upstairs after you turned ten… I think that’s how old you were.”

“Why?”

He took a minute before he answered. “You were afraid of the forest.”

The memory was distant, but it was there lingering in the back of my mind. “Do you know why?” I asked hoping that would help surface the memory faster.

“You didn’t really want to talk about it. You said something about… fireflies.” He shrugged.

“I don’t remember.” It frustrated me.

“It was a long time ago Sara.” He tried to reassure me.

“That’s not the only thing I don’t remember.” I pushed my plate away, no longer feeling hungry.

“It’ll come back to you.” He took my plate.

“How do you know?” I asked his back.

“Because you’re already starting to remember things. That’s got to be a good sign right.”

He wouldn’t turn around and I knew that was all I was going to get out of him on the subject. I slid out of my chair.

“Thanks for the breakfast. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to move.” I took the stairs two at a time, I couldn’t get out of the kitchen fast enough.

It took most of the day, but I had managed to get everything packed and ready for Andres to move to my new room. Taking a look around my room, I didn’t feel the tiniest bit sad about leaving it. Not only was I completely freaked out by the window now, I didn’t have any memories that connected to me this space anymore.

Grabbing a basket full of freshly clean and folded clothes, I walked out of the room to search for Andres. Walking down the steps, I tried not to slip on the wood flooring in my socks. I couldn’t find him in any of the rooms downstairs so I decided to take my clothes to the room first and than go look for him.

Walking down the hall that led to the bedroom, I pushed open the door with my foot and walked him. There was already a queen sized bed in the middle of the room against the wall. There was a huge window on the wall furthest from me, with a bench underneath it, like in my old room. There was a door on one side of the bed that led to the closet and another door that led to the walk in bathroom, to my right. To my left was a bookshelf built into the wall.

I placed the basket on the bed and walked over to the French doors, looking out over the deck that ran the length of the house. Two giant stone squared columns, went from the ground, thinning as they reached the roof that covered part of the patio. Beyond the deck, the landscaping was all natural leading up to the forest. Dusk was setting and the sky was a blushing soft shade of pink. The fading sun’s light illuminated the forest with an enchanted glow, and I didn’t find one thing scary about the forest. In fact, I felt safe just looking at it.

Turning away, I grabbed the basket and walked into the closet to put the clothes away. The walk in was long and wide, one side of the wall was lined with shelves, from top to bottom. There was an island in the middle of the closet with drawers on all sides.

This was my closet until I was ten?!
I thought.

I didn’t understand the need for all the big fancy details, but the entire house was like this, and it seemed important to Andres to have everything nice. I started putting my clothes away on the shelves. Stretching on my toes, I put a few shirts away on the top shelf, feeling the scattered papers. Frowning, I reached up with my other hand and pulled them down. Tossing the rest of the clothes on the closet shelf, I flipped the papers around.

I smiled realizing they were drawings from when I was younger.  They must had been forgotten when Andres switched rooms. Their were only three of them and the first two were of me and Andres. When I flipped to the third, it was something completely different. The forest was in the background of the drawling and I had colored me in there, but there was something else. I squinted,
bringing
the paper up closer so I could make out what I drawn.

Dragonflies.

My thoughts quickly went to my dream from last night. It had been a dragonfly. Not fireflies.

In the picture I was chasing three dragonflies into the forest, but I didn’t look scared and I stared at the smile on my face. Again the memory was there, but it was so faint, I couldn’t pull it in to focus long enough to remember.

“Sara?”

I jumped when I heard Andres call my name from the room. I left the closet and he was standing at the door.

“There you are. I checked for you upstairs, but I didn’t see you in there. Are you all packed and ready?” he asked.

“Yeah. I was just putting away so clothes before I went off to let you know.”

He nodded. “What do you have there?” He asked, pointing in the direction of my hand.

I looked down at my hand. “I found them in the closet. They are drawing I made. They must have been left behind when we switched rooms.”

“Oh yeah? What are they of?”

I walked around the bed, handing them to him. I watched him closely, examining his reaction as he switched threw the pictures. A smile played on his lips as he looked at the first two. It slipped slightly when he got to the last one. His smiled returned when he handed them back to me.

“You loved making pictures.” He said turning away.

“Do they look familiar to you?” He turned around again.

“Not really.” He said running a hand through his hair. “Why? Do they look familiar to you?”

“No.” I said feeling defeated. “I don’t think I was afraid of fireflies though.”

He frowned. “You don’t?”

I shook my head. “In the picture, I drew dragonflies. I think it was dragonflies I was afraid of.”

“Possibly. I really don’t remember.”

I stared at him for a long time, trying to decide if I believed him or not. Finally I looked away. “I guess we’ll never know.” I tossed the pictures on the bed.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll start
bringing
your stuff down.”

He walked toward the door, but I called after him. “Andres.”

He turned around. “Yeah?”

“At some point, you’re going to have to have to start telling me the truth.”

Flutter

Eight

Collide

I was 110% sure that I was having a heart attack

Could someone have a heart attack at the age of
seventeen
? I wasn’t sure, but I had the feeling I was about to find out.
I gripped one of the iron shelves of the many CD stands.

Although I was constantly aware of the low frequency of the flutter that hunted my body day and night, this was something ten times stronger than that.
I had managed to go weeks without having one of these…I didn’t even know what to call the little attacks that assaulted my nervous system.

I could see my knuckles turning white as I gripped the iron harder and tried to breathe in and out slowly, praying that would calm the furious beating
in
my chest. My breathing was choppy and it was getting harder to suck in air through the skipped beats of my heart.

The rest of my body was tingling with every sensation possible, and I shivered as the blood rushed through my veins like an electrical current. I was positive that my heart was going to pop any second now. I was cold and hot all at the same time. But through everything I was experiencing right now, I felt alive for the first time in weeks; and as crazy as it was, I welcomed the delicious fire of adrenaline that was coursing through my body. I
wanted
to feel the effects these reactions caused in me. I realized that I
needed
these feelings to get my blood rushing, until all of the breath was stolen from my body. Even if the fall out resulted in me having a heart attack.

I looked around, half expecting to see the disconcerting blue eyes of my wolf, lingering between the bodies that filled the crowded sidewalks of the fair. I didn’t hear the panicked screams from the frightened people or the stampede of crowds falling all over themselves to find safety. I knew he wasn’t here and I kicked myself for getting my hopes up.

Seconds before I had spotted my wolf hidden within the shadows of the forest the last night I had seen him, I had experienced this same flood of sensations; but it was stronger this time, and I wondered now if it
ever
had anything to do with my wolf
before
.

The pounding inside of my chest was getting louder and I wanted to flee. I waited for my body to calm down, but I didn’t see an end in sight. I focused on getting myself under control enough to find a quieter spot, so I could self combust in privacy. I turned, hoping to make a hasty departure without attracting too much attention to myself, but I was frozen in place.

Everything I had been thinking or feeling seemed to vanish when I focused on his face.

I could see him watching me. I think I had been able to feel him watching me the whole time, but was only now aware of that fact. He didn’t look away shyly, or embarrassed, at having been caught invading my emotional distress. He just
watched me with intense blue eyes
, confident that I wouldn’t back down from his stare. I couldn’t. I felt like he was a magnet and I was being pulled
toward
him, whether I wanted to or not. Without even doing anything, he became the only reason for me being here.

There was something vaguely familiar about him, but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. No words had been spoken between us; but from across the room his enchanting eyes were whispering a question that only I could understand.

Have we met before?

I was not really sure why, but I felt like we had.

He started to move out from behind the CD stand on the opposite side of the room, and I realized he was attempting to close the distance between us. His subtle movements finally allowed me to break the eye contact we had held so long and I looked around the small area, wondering if we had caused any onlookers to stare at us; but no one seemed to notice the
intense exchange
that had passed between the familiar stranger and I. I wondere
d if that could be considered an
oxymoron.

No matter how much I wanted to deny the ache that I was experiencing every second that passed without looking at him, I couldn’t. My eyes searched the room greedily for him. I felt the sudden kick of disappointment inside my chest when I couldn’t find him, and I cursed myself for looking away even for those few
seconds
.

My b
ody was still on fire with the f
lutter, and I suddenly just wanted to be alone. I felt empty and I didn’t know why I was letting everything affect me so intensely. I was memorizing the images of the boys face inside my head, holding on to them with a mental death grip.

I was vaguely aware of the song that had just started playing over the loud speakers of the festival. I tried to focus on the words, hoping that would help me gain some control over myself, but the irony of the words had me frowning.

“I some how find that you & I collide.”

When I was sure I could walk without my legs buckling beneath me, I turned around and walked right in to him.  I made a startled gasp and tried to catch myself before I caused a domino effect with the CD stands behind me. I looked up to apologize and gasped again, but for an entirely different reason. The force of his presence was so powerful that I felt overwhelmed by the closeness of our bodies, and I tried to flatten myself against the stand.

I grimaced, as I felt the stand tilt against my weight and I stumbled off balance, feeling myself falling with it. His reaction to the chaos was a blur. He managed to grab the stand in mid fall, while wrapping his other arm around my waist pulling me tightly against him. I sucked in a sharp breath. All I could feel was the sparks sizzling at the contact of his arm around me. His feet were planted solidly on the ground and I was bent slightly backwards; our faces were so close to each other as he leaned over me.

He straightened, pulling me and the CD case with him. I noticed for the first time that he had a small styrofoam cup in his hand, that he had somehow managed to hold on to. How he was able to do that without spilling a drop on me was beyond me.

The rise and fall of my chest pushed against his; and I took in slow breaths trying not to draw attention to how badly he had flustered my ability to do something as natural as inhaling and exhaling like a normal person. I prayed he couldn’t feel the strong pound of my heart against his chest, but the slow, tantalizing grin that tugged on the corners of his sexy lips told me he was very aware of my reaction and he looked rather pleased by it.

As distracted as I was by the whole situation, and how his smile did alarming things to my insides, I finally realized what had caused my reaction to be so dramatic.

His eyes

No they were
my wolf’s
eyes. But that was impossible right?
There was no way they could be the same
eyes.

Just like there was no way my reaction to this boy was almost identical to the reaction I had to my wolf…right?

No, this was definitely not the same
, I thought to myself.

This was stronger, way more powerful; and as I could feel the flutter within me explode, I knew this was probably what it felt like when someone got hit by lightening.

I peered deeper into his eyes and felt myself losing all sense of reality; as the edges around us blurred
.
I felt him pull
ing
me into the endless depths of his eyes
, and I was
powerless to fight it
. I found that it was easy to lose my way without worrying about what was going to be waiting for me when I finally hit bottom. It was then and there that I knew I wasn’t afraid of getting lost in the nothingness that could be waiting for me
on the other side
, and I wanted to explore the uncertainty.

I was mesmerized by the way he was looking at me, smiling like he knew a secret and was literally dying to share it with me. I wanted to know and I might have even asked him, if I wasn’t aware of the whispers around us.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and wondered why I sounded so breathless.

“
I’m not complaining
.” He said, and the silkiness of his voice was a torturous caress I was willing to endure for the rest of my life. “Are you feeling ok?”

His amused tone suggested he knew exactly how I was feeling, and I was embarrassedly aware that he didn’t seem to be struggling with our current situation like I was. Even as I put my hand up to push him away, my traitorous body had other intentions. Instead on supplying me with a firm little shove, my touch melted beneath the warmth of his chest.

The shock was strong, the contact burned and my eyes dropped fleetingly to make sure his shirt wasn’t searing around the edges of where my hand lay against his chest. I looked up just in time to catch the expression on his face that told me he could feel it too. With a small struggle I finally managed to push him back a few steps, but instead gaining control like I had expected, his missing presence seemed to take all of my oxygen with him.

“I’m fine.” I whispered. “I’m fine.” I repeated again loudly for the crowd who was now gawking at
…
him.

When I sneaked a peak at him again, I was only irritated more when he wore that same sultry grin on his face.

“What?” I snapped and frowned.

“Nothing.” He faked innocence, while holding his hands up in surrender; I noted he still had the styrofoam cup in his hand.

“Thank you for…” I waved my hand dismissively at the CD stand behind me and avoided making anymore dangerous eye contact.

“Saving your life?” he said teasingly.

My head snapped up, and that’s all it took for me to get lost in his crystal blue eyes and goofy grin again. I rolled my eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “I would hardly call myself a damsel in distress,
”
this time,
I added silently, but my track record wasn’t looking good,
“
but thank you just the same.” I turned and walked away in the opposite direction
, but leaving felt wrong.

“Hey wait,” He followed closely in step.

I didn’t stop, but I could feel my steps slowing and I c
ursed my lack of self control
.

“I have something for you.”

I frowned and my steps faltered as I looked at him over my shoulder. “You have something for
me
?” my hesitation gave him the moment he needed to close the distance between us; before I knew it, he was standing in front of me.

We had emerged from underneath the tent, and even though it was a little chilly outside the bright sun glared down on us, but the intense rays never seemed to bother me. He was grinning at me again and I could feel my heart swoon.

“Yes, for
you.
” He stuck out his hand, handing me the cup he had been holding.

“What is it?” I asked, eyeing the cup suspiciously.

He laughed and I held in the shiver that ran over my skin as the sound. “Well it
isn’t
a poison apple,” he joked. “Which is exactly how you’re looking at it right now.”

He took a step closer and I wanted to take a step back; but my body wanted,
needed¸
the close contact of his, and I didn’t move an inch.

“It’s hot chocolate.” He whispered. When I looked at him questioningly, he confessed. “I was watching you and I saw you shivering.” His hand came up and I held my breath, as he swept a piece of hair behind my ear.

I couldn’t control the shiver this time, as I felt his warm finger brush the outline of my ear. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t. I couldn’t move either and I stood there staring stupidly at him. He smiled. Looking down he took my hand, and the spark was there
bringing
me back to the present. I looked down at our hands. He brought them up between our bodies and placed the warm cup in my hand.

“I figured I could help keep you warm,” looking down at the cup, he added with a teasing grin. “With the chocolate of course.”

“Thank you.” I responded, because I didn’t know what else to say.

“You are very welcome.” He said, his voice dripping with a low, sexy vibration.

“I’m Sara by the way.” I suppressed the urge to hold out my hand for him to take.

He noticed, and that had him grinning again. “Do I make you nervous Sara?”

I swallowed hard.
Was I that obvious?
“No!” I choked out loudly, too loudly. I blushed deeply when I realized I had given myself away. “Of course not,” I said more reasonably. “Why would you?”

I gave a feeble attempt to sidestep him, but he was quicker than I was, and he was blocking my path without any effort. I looked at him, trying for mock boredom, but his smile said he was on to me.

“God, but you are beautiful Sara.” He breathed, almost in amazement.

It was just a compliment, but it sounded better than any lyrics in any song and sweeter than any poetry ever written. My blush deepened, and I was helpless to do anything but stare into his eyes.