Following My Toes (26 page)

“Huh?”

It was then that I realized my dream had, in fact, come true. I felt great, better than I had in a long time, and I knew that I had to get to Carolyn – immediately. “I’ll explain later. Look, I have to go.” I shot up, arranging my clothes so I was presentable enough to travel upstairs. Ethan stood as well.

“Okay. I need to get upstairs too.” He didn’t seem as concerned about his appearance as I was about mine. He fastened his pants, grabbed his shirt, and started walking. No “talk you later,” no kiss on the cheek. I walked to keep up with him, hoping he would offer me some sort of reassurance before he disappeared behind door number 4. But all I got was another yawn, and “Man, I’m tired. Maybe I can nap for a couple of hours before it’s time to get up again.” And with that, he was gone.

I went to the room I was sharing with Carolyn. She was sound asleep, stretched diagonally across the bed that was barely big enough for the two of us. So, true to my word, I grabbed a pillow, and curled up on the floor. A couple of hours later I awoke to knocking at our door. Carolyn is a much deeper sleeper than I am, and didn’t even budge. So I got up. I was fully expecting to find Harry on the other side of the door, ready to take Carolyn out on the open lake. So imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find Charles. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days, and that breathing itself had become a major chore. In other words, he looked as bad as I knew Carolyn felt.

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry to wake you. I ran into your dad downstairs. He said she was in her room. Can I come in?”

“Charles, how did you even know to come here?”

“She called me a few hours ago and we talked. I guess we’re both miserable.”

He pushed past me and entered our room. I almost started to cry as he approached the bed. He lay down and kissed the top of her head as if she were the most beautiful and precious person in the universe. I think he was completely unaware I was watching him. We were both caught up in a reverie, which is why the knocking on the door that followed startled us both.

He looked up. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” he said, after a few seconds had gone by and the person on the other side of the door felt it necessary to knock again.

“Um. Yeah.” I opened the door, and my worst fears were con-firmed, Harry was standing there, fishing rod in hand.

“Hi. Is she ready to go?” Charles’ head shot up, and I had to do something fast to save the situation. Luckily, I had not changed out of my clothes from yesterday, so the solution I came up with was almost feasible.

“Harry! I sure am ready! I can’t wait.”

“Well, but what about...”

“This is so exciting! But we had better get going. We don’t want to miss the good catch!” Before he could reply, I pushed his chest with two hands out the door, and closed it behind us. He was looking at me like I was a lunatic, which I suppose was understandable.

“What about Carolyn?” he said, thankfully out of Charles’s earshot.

“She can’t go. Her boyfriend is here.”

He pondered this as if it was a profound philosophical riddle. His brow furrowed, he studied me with a quizzical look. But soon enough he came up with a solution, and his brow and his manner relaxed back to their normal state.

“Okay. Well, you’ll do. Come on, let’s go.” He started down the hallway. For a moment I considered not following him. But then again, if I didn’t, how soon would it be before he noticed my absence and began knocking on the door to Carolyn’s and my room? So I did follow him, but only so I could catch up with him and explain why neither Carolyn nor I could go. Unfortunately, when I made it to the front entrance there were a bunch of men gathered all prepared to go catch some fish. Among them were Ethan and his father.

“Are you coming?” Harry shouted over to me. It was then that Ethan noticed my presence. And in order to get over to Harry, I had to walk past him and all the other men, all of whom seemed to have nothing better to do than stare at me. So what if my hair was mussed, my clothes crumpled, and I stank of sex? It was none of their business. Okay, maybe it was sort of Ethan’s business. But that’s it.

I made it over to Harry. In a low voice I tried to explain. “Look. I don’t think I should go after all. My mom needs me to help her this morning, and I don’t want to cramp your style.”

“What do you mean?” Harry bellowed. “Two minutes ago you said you could hardly wait.”

“I know.” The room was silent, save for Harry’s and my conversation. Staring at me wasn’t enough; everyone wanted to hear what I was saying as well. “But I changed my mind. I need to stay.”

“Look,” he replied. Why did he have to speak so loudly? “I didn’t even invite you. But there you were, begging me to take you fishing. So let’s go fishing. I’ll get you back in a couple of hours. You’ll have plenty of time to help your mom.”

I was so tired I couldn’t even think. All I knew was I wanted this humiliation to end. So I took the path of least resistance. “Fine.” I said. “But I do need to be back in no more than two hours.”

On our way out the door I looked over my shoulder, and saw Ethan still looking at me. I gave him a feeble wave along with a ten-tative smile, but he made no response. My stomach lurched, sick at the idea of hurting him. It was then that I finally admitted to myself he had truly captured my heart. Was it such a short time ago that I believed I could never love again?

However, while it may be that the heart needs no redemption, the same is not true for the whole of a human being. My journey had only just begun.

Chapter 20

Can you imagine what Dad would have done if he caught the two of you? You wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not Ethan is going to call, because he’d be dead.”

I had gotten back from the stuffing convention and was in the middle of telling Margaret the whole story.

“You’re the one who told me to follow my instincts. That’s all I was doing.”

“But I didn’t tell you to be reckless. Did he at least use protection?”

“Yeah. He had his wallet with him, since he had been planning on going for a drive. Is there some rule that all guys have to carry condoms in their wallets?”

Margaret didn’t answer, but she shook her head at me like I was playing with matches and lighter fluid. I answered her silent recrimination.

“You said I should let go a little!”

“Yeah, I said let go a little. Sorry I didn’t explain the concept of a little to you.”

“Well if you had I probably wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“So it’s my fault? How was I supposed to know you’d suddenly be reckless or even follow my advice in the first place? You never have before.”

“Well this time I did. You always seem so happy with yourself. I thought if I acted more like you maybe I could adopt that attitude.”

“Faith, if I’m happier with myself than you are, it’s because I don’t think everything to death, and I don’t beat myself up about every single little mistake I make. It’s not because I’m reckless.”

“Thanks. That helps.” Unexpressed anger was gurgling inside me even though none of this was her fault. I settled for speaking in a sarcastic tone.

“You’re welcome.” She replied cheerily. Sarcasm is usually lost on Margaret. “So you never even talked to Ethan after that morning?”

“I never got the chance! He wasn’t around after that. And once Carolyn left with Charles I had so much work to do for Mom and Dad that I didn’t have time to go and look for him.”

“But Carolyn and Charles got back together?”

“I don’t know. They looked pretty happy as they were leaving. They said they were driving north to explore the area while they talk things out.”

“Well, that’s good anyway.”

“Yeah. I know.” I was happy for Carolyn, but jealous there wasn’t a happy ending in sight for my love life as well. “So, how are you and Missy? Any developments on that front?”

“We’re just hanging out, Faith.”

“Are you ever naked when you’re hanging out?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

Margaret got up and walked into the kitchen. The cats’ food bowls needed to be filled, so she went about completing that task. I stood and watched.

“Why won’t you talk about it? I thought you were Miss Loose and Free.”

“We need more cat food.”

“Tell Missy.”

“Why, don’t you ever buy any?”

“They’re Missy’s cats.”

“Yeah, but you pet them. You get enjoyment out of them.”

“So do you.”

“Fine. I’ll go buy some cat food right now.” Margaret walked out of the kitchen and went to grab her purse.

“Are you that desperate to avoid the conversation that you have to leave?”

“How can I avoid a conversation that I’ve already told you I’m not having? There is no conversation to avoid.” She walked towards the front door and opened it. Before she had taken her first step out, we both noticed what had been left outside. Margaret reached down to pick up two small and flimsy nightgowns, one pink and one blue. There was (of course) a note attached.

One for you and one for her. Maybe this time you’ll be able to figure out who wears the pants in the relationship. In my book, you both ought to be.

“Huh. Don’t these look like they’re from K-Mart? They remind me of something Grandma Florence would wear, only more skimpy.” Margaret waved the nightgowns back and forth, as if to assess their quality. “But at least we can use these. I don’t know when any of us will ever use that witch’s hat, except maybe at Halloween.”

“Margaret, did Missy go to the police the last time this happened?”

“No. I think she thought you were.”

“But I said she should go. Remember, last time we decided that all of this is about her.”

“I don’t think she thinks that.”

“Well, she ought to. Don’t you think this note makes it sort of obvious?”

Margaret looked at me blankly with her head cocked. “The note, Margaret. It is obviously referring to your and Missy’s relation-ship.”

“Faith, how many times do I have to say it? I’m not going to talk about Missy and me.” Margaret stepped past me and left to go buy cat food. I couldn’t figure out why she was so uptight, but I wasn’t going to harp on it. I went to the desk in the living room where I had left all of the previous notes. I grabbed them and headed out to the police.

In the parking lot I saw Bill walking back from somewhere, his laptop in hand. I waved, and he came over.

A huge smile spread across his face as he spoke. “Hey there! I haven’t seen you around lately.”

“Yeah, I was up north at my parents’ place.”

Bill raised an eyebrow. “Oh. That’s nice. So you got a break from the city.”

“Yeah, the way things are going, I wish I was still up there.”

Bill moved in closer and leaned up against my car. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Some freak has been leaving Missy all these phone messages and notes outside of our door, and she refuses to do anything about it.”

“You mean like that one when I returned your purse?”

“Yeah, only there have been more of them. You haven’t noticed anything since then, have you?”

“No. Nothing.” He paused, scratching his forehead and wrinkling his brow. “You’re sure they’re all meant for Missy?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Well, did they have her name on them?”

“No. But there’s no reason that they would be for me. Whereas Missy... well, I’m assuming it’s one of her customers. She does phone sex.”

Bill laughed. “Lucky you, getting to be her roommate. I don’t know what a nice girl like you is doing, living with her.” He shifted again, than leaned in even closer. “I don’t want to shock you or any-thing, but I hear Missy goes both ways.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Believe me; it’s way too late for me to be shocked.”

Bill raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“You bet. I’m not as nice or as innocent as I may appear. And Missy... well, she’s been getting some lately. So nothing you could say is going to shock me.” Bill’s face grew pale. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

He straightened up and stepped away from the car. “Yeah, but I should go. See you later.”

He began to walk away. I didn’t answer him, but wordlessly got into my car. What was up with him?

* * *

“So has your home been broken into?”

“No.”

“Have you been threatened physically or attacked?”

“Well, no. But the notes and the messages definitely imply a threat.” I had waited for over two hours to speak with an officer. Once I finally got my chance, I told him the whole story: of the messages, the notes, and how this person mysteriously seems to know about Margaret and Missy’s involvement. I told him Missy is in the sex business, indicating there could be any number of her customers as suspects. But I also mentioned Max. I didn’t mention Ethan, for I was convinced he had nothing to do with it. The officer listened to me patiently, recording everything I said on some police department stationary. But once he started asking me questions, I knew what his answer would be.