For Every Season (9 page)

“I’m not
everyone
. If something’s on your mind, I want to know about it.”

“It’s just that I woke up realizing I keep waiting for things to get easier, and they don’t.”

“What things? Relationships or work?”

“All of it. We seem to wander from one storm to the next. I’m trying to have a good attitude, because I really don’t want to spend the next five years hating my life.”

“Five years?” Landon stared at her for several moments. He drew a breath before he sat next to the window and leaned against the barn wall. “I didn’t realize you were planning on staying that long.”

“Me either, but let’s face it. I’ve been dreaming. I came to Maine under false pretenses, thinking I was only staying long enough to help my family recover from the tornado and then I was going out on my own. The harvest may start in five months, but there’s always another storm on the horizon. It feels as
if my brothers and the business are going to need me forever. Maybe it’s God letting me know I’m meant to remain Amish.”

“If you want to stay, you should do so, no matter what anyone else wants.” He stared at the ceiling as if thinking before speaking. “Even though it’ll take me a while to get over it.”

She wanted to smile and cry at the same time. That summed up most of what she felt about Landon—joy and sadness. “You say the nicest things.”

He scoffed. “What I just said wasn’t
nice
. Actually, it sounded like a lot of heartache for both of us.”

“Really?” Did he care for her more than she realized?

“Fine.” He shrugged. “Apparently just one of us. Me.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m surprised
you
feel that way. We haven’t even had a real date yet.”

His eyes grew large, and he stared at her. “We’ve been going somewhere a night every week and attending church on Sunday evenings and on your between Sundays. What exactly constitutes a bona fide date for the Amish?”

“You never asked me out on a date. I thought that’s how you Englisch boys did things.”

He shook his head. “I’m confused.”

“I thought we’d agreed to just be friends.”

“We did, but then …” He sighed. “When I heard other guys complain that women are hard to understand, I thought they were exaggerating. I guess that’s something else I’ve been wrong about.”

“And mostly when we go out, we get pizza and go to your grandmother’s to watch movies. Besides, you’ve never even tried to hold my hand.”

“And I never will. I’m not a hand holder.”

“Or tried to kiss me.”

“When I asked if you’d like to go for a ride one time, you went ballistic, accusing me of only wanting someone who was easy.”

Leah almost burst out laughing. He was really cute. “True.” She swallowed the last bite of her granola bar. “So what I thought was us just hanging out has been us dating?”

“I guess it’s been whatever you tell me.”

She pursed her lips, trying to hide a grin. “Hmm. I think it’s been a marriage proposal.”

“What?” He laughed.

She threw the empty wrapper at him. “Yep, that’s what I think.”

He grabbed two handfuls of hay from the bale. She jumped up, and in a flash she was going down the ladder.

Even though he had to peel himself off the floor, he soon stood above her, holding the handfuls out. “How’s shimmying down that ladder going to help?” He released the hay onto her head.

“Hey.” She knocked the stuff off her hair and prayer Kapp.

“That’s right. It is indeed
hay
.”

Laughing, she missed the next rung with her foot and lost her grip as well. She landed on the dirt floor with a thud.

“Leah!” Landon all but jumped from the loft. “You okay?”

“I think I’ve been rendered unconscious.”

He knelt. “Finally.” He waved his hands in mock exaggeration. “You quoted a line from a movie. Of course it’s a girly, kid movie.”

“You be nice. I love
Anne of Green Gables
.”

He helped her sit up. “Does anything hurt?”

“Are you daft? I just fell off a ladder.” She leaned into him as she stood.

His eyes met hers. “Be serious.”

“I’m fine.” She brushed off her dress. “Unless saying otherwise would get us a day off.”

He chuckled. “Don’t think it works that way. Nice try, though.”

“Ya, you’re right. Around here it’d mean getting patched up, given an herbal remedy for pain, and then having to make up any lost work time due to the mishap.” She rolled her eyes. “Ah, the joys of living Amish.”

Landon gave a half smile and shrugged. “It’s not permanent unless you want it to be.”

She went to the barn door and looked out. “Leaving used to sound so easy. Jacob always made it look that way.” She leaned against the doorframe. “I thought everything about him was so cool, and I thought Samuel was an old stick-in-the-mud. But now …” She played with the strings to her prayer Kapp.
She’d watched these long months as Rhoda had yearned for Jacob to free himself of his past and come home. Watched as Samuel had helped her get through the trials only to be tossed aside as soon as Jacob returned. Was that also who Leah was? Someone who could waltz in and out of her family’s life when it suited her? She hated the amount of work it took to keep the Old Ways, but was that a good enough reason to sever all ties with her family and the Amish? “Funny how we see things so differently after catching a glimpse of someone else’s experience.”

“Meaning you’re seeing Jacob through Samuel’s eyes?”

“And Rhoda’s. All of us are paying for Jacob’s years of freedom.”

“Your thoughts are everywhere today. Why?”

“Because I came here so sure of what I wanted—to help until the business was stable and then leave. Now I don’t know what I want. Waiting for the right time is one thing. Staggering around like a newborn calf is another.”

The desire to get free of the Amish life was almost unbearable, and yet as she watched and felt the heartache of the difficulties between Rhoda and her brothers, Leah couldn’t stand to think how many hearts would shatter if she left. Among the Englisch, young adults were expected to leave the nest and land wherever they chose. But her leaving would break her family’s hearts—even if they chose to act as if it didn’t.

Was she strong enough to do that to them?

The phone rang, and she went into the office. “Hello?”

“Hallo. This is Iva Lambright. I’m at the train station in Bangor. I was told I’ll need a ride from here. Any suggestions who to call?”

Leah’s heart moved to her throat. What had she done? In her desire to get some extra help on the farm, she’d gone around her brothers and Rhoda, not to mention the upheaval she’d caused in Iva’s life.

“Hold on.” She put the phone on mute. “Landon?”

He ambled into the office. “You rang?”

“Do you know where Bangor is?”

“Sure. It’s about forty minutes north of here.”

“There’s a young Amish woman at the train station who needs a ride.”

“Why?”

“She called looking for a job, and I, uh, sort of told her she should come this way.”

“Leah King!” He shook his head, clearly more amused than annoyed. “I’ll pick her up, but I’m not getting between you and Rhoda on this.”

Leah unmuted the phone. “Iva?”

“Ya.”

“Our friend Landon will pick you up in his truck in about an hour. He’ll be able to spot you by your head covering, right?”

“Ya.”

After Leah described Landon’s truck for Iva to watch for, Iva thanked her, and they ended the call.

Landon pulled out his keys. “You coming?”

She wanted to, but doing so would only pack Iva’s first hours on the farm with even more tension. “I need to tell the others about Iva coming, and maybe the worst of the storm will be over by the time you get back.”

“Okay.”

As he walked out of the office, Leah’s stomach clenched. What if this girl was beautiful and charming and she had just put her and Landon alone in a truck for an hour to get to know each other?

“Landon.” She hurried out of the office.

He turned.

“You’re in a relationship. Don’t forget that.”

He ambled back to her, a smile showing his straight white teeth. “Decided that, did you? Then I already like this Iva girl being here.”

“Yeah, your appreciation of her is my concern.”

All hints of humor fell from his face. “Leah King, if you think that I’m so shallow or that you’re so easily replaced, you’ve got a lot to learn.”

Her heart palpitated to the familiar beat of confusion. “Lately I seem to waver on everything.”

“Sure you do. You’re eighteen years old. But I’m not going anywhere, and your family isn’t going anywhere.”

“My fear is
I’m
not going anywhere either.”

“Oh good grief. If you want to go, go. If you want to stay, stay. If you don’t
know, stop fretting. Is it too much to simply let life rock along until you’re positive about what you want?”

She finally knew why she felt like one of dogs’ rope toys being chewed and tossed and tugged—fear that if she didn’t choose soon, Landon would move on to some other girl, one who was older and more sure about what she wanted from life. “I can’t expect you to hang around while I rock along not knowing what I want.”

“Let’s play the
if
game.
If you
left the Amish today, and
if
we were so in love we wanted to marry, I’m not ready for a wife, not yet, and you’re not ready for a husband.” He straightened his ball cap. “I get that some days you want to leave the Amish and on other days you want to stay Amish.” He shrugged. “That’s a gamble I’m willing to take, but as far as you’re concerned,
I’m
a sure bet. Okay?”

An overwhelming desire to kiss him rushed through her. “It seems dangerous to give our feelings room to grow if I’m going to stay Amish.”

“That ship has already sailed, Leah. We like each other.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t change that for whatever the future holds.”

“What if you don’t want to hang around long enough for me to decide?”

“You have too many insecurities. You know that?”

“Indulge me. I want an answer.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. To paraphrase the words of Simon Peter that we heard in church a few Sundays back—to whom would I go?”

She couldn’t move. Worse, she couldn’t think of a cheeky retort. “I … uh …”

He smirked. “I believe I just rendered you speechless.”

She nodded.

“I’d better go.” He walked away, and she followed him.

He opened the door to his truck and turned. “But I hate to leave now, because I’m sure this serene quietness from you will be long gone by the time I get back.” He laughed.

Was Landon as good as he seemed? If he was, she feared that alone would sway her about leaving the Amish. But should a man be the deciding factor?
She’d asked herself that question before, and the answer was still the same—she didn’t think so.

As Landon pulled onto the road, Leah took a cleansing breath, feeling all her earlier anxiety release its grip. She didn’t have to fret over making the right decision. She could simply live and know that her heart would eventually reveal where she needed to land.

With that bit of anxiety dispelled, she had to move on to the next bit of drama—calling a meeting. She pulled out a walkie-talkie. “Samuel? Rhoda? Jacob?”

“Ya?” Each answered, one after the other.

Leah braced herself. “I know you’re busy, but how soon could you come to the barn for a meeting? We need to talk.”

“About?” Samuel asked.

“It’ll wait until you get here.” She figured it wouldn’t take more than half an hour for them to find a stopping point on whatever they were doing and get to the barn. “See you in thirty minutes.” She flicked off the walkie-talkie.

No point getting into it any sooner than necessary.

SEVEN

Samuel walked into the office and found Jacob sitting by himself behind the desk, fiddling with a pen. He barely glanced up. Samuel couldn’t ask where Rhoda was or anything about her coming to the office without angering Jacob.

“Where’s Leah?” Samuel sat, hoping Jacob would answer him.

Jacob picked up a note. “Went to get some snacks.”

“Something to appease us. That doesn’t sound too good.”

Jacob shook his head, letting the note fall to the desk. He wasn’t himself yet, but at least they were talking without arguing.

The whole situation was foreign to them, but nothing was stranger than how Rhoda was dealing with it. She’d avoided Samuel, perhaps for Jacob’s sake, yet when Jacob had challenged her, she had refused to throw Samuel onto the compost heap as Jacob had. She hadn’t wavered in her friendship for Samuel. At the same time, by moving out of the farmhouse, she’d let Jacob know she was willing to do whatever he wanted of her. Despite Samuel’s humiliation over the last few weeks, he found her method of dealing with the situation interesting. Admirable, really.

He was desperate to put his energies into making the orchard a success, but his future was in Jacob’s hands. He shifted in his chair. “Did you call the lawyer?”

“I did.” Jacob bumped one end of the pen and then the other end against the desk in slow, easy movements that belied the simmering distrust in his eyes. “Come hell or high water, I’m not leaving Rhoda again. I don’t care what he wants.”

Samuel nodded. The last thing he wanted was for Jacob to go away again!
But Samuel felt he could now cope better with his feelings for Rhoda regardless of whether Jacob was here or not. His emotions and desires were no longer a pent-up force to be reckoned with. He loved Rhoda. But the fact that she and Jacob knew his feelings had released some of the reckless intensity. That was his silver lining, and he hoped Rhoda had one too.

Ziggy wandered into the office, wagging his tail and nudging Samuel for attention. The dogs had gone out earlier with Rhoda, and they usually stayed pretty close to her wherever she walked, so she wasn’t far from the office now.

Jacob opened a drawer and tossed the pen into it. “Since the moment I came home, something’s been nagging at me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Even a couple of days ago, when Rhoda explained some things that happened while I was gone and said she wanted me to be the foundation she built her life on, I still couldn’t let go of my anger toward you. But I couldn’t figure out why until just now.”