For the Love of Ash (5 page)

"Sausage?" Two kids snickered from the back of the room, most likely planning the best way to get me to crack. They looked like they just hit puberty, their faces freckled with acne.

"Who wants to start questioning first?" Atwater asked the class, and they began asking in a clockwise circle.

"What do you play with?" A particularly giddy boy who had probably never even touched a girls boob asked.
 

"Sausage," I responded keeping my face serious.

"What do you eat?"
 

"Sausage." No smile.

"What do you love?"

"Sausage." I had to admit, that one was at least decent. The skin around my eyes crinkled, but I showed no emotion. I was good at this.

"What do you sleep with?"

"Sausage," I said, holding back my laughter. I pressed my tongue against the roof of my mouth to contain myself.

"What do you like in your mouth?" Luke asked. The class quieted. I looked at Acne Boy, whose mouth was hanging open, just catching flies. I'm not even sure why, since that was the whole purpose of the game. I took a breath, trying to compose myself, wanting like nothing else to get through this particular question from Luke since that was my whole purpose.

"Sausage," I said, but I was unable to hold it back any longer. I covered my mouth with my hand as genuine laughter bubbled out of me. The class began to clap, and I reclaimed my desk on the sidelines. I was kind of happy to go up and get it over with. So, thanks, Luke. Mental note: Asher cannot make a girl laugh or dare her to do something. It was too fun and an instant way past the carefully constricted walls of my psyche.
 

The good thing was, because Luke knocked me out, he had to go up. But I tuned out everyone's voices. Since Luke was standing front and center, I looked at only him. I tried to memorize him. I was a glutton for disaster.

He really was beautiful. The way his concrete-colored eyes roamed over every single girl in the room made me cover my chest and sink a little lower in my seat. It was like he was inspecting everyone, comparing us to one another. I sat back and licked my lips, sneering wherever his eyes landed. I didn't even like him, but I pushed my shoulders back and ran my fingers through my hair to straighten it.

I perked up, pressing my lips in a flat line. I wanted his attention, craved just a single glance my way. I'd take just a split second if it was all he could give. My eyes fell to his khakis that hugged his muscular legs, still confused.
 

His black hoodie hung loosely and had no lettering on it whatsoever. His khaki pants had to be designer by the cut and design on the back pocket. The bottom of his pants folded into a pair of red sneakers that didn't look like they were meant to be there. The class started laughing, and I tore my eyes from Luke, checking back into the class.

Luke swaggered over to his desk and sat down next to me, but I refused to look at him. I fought my eyes from roaming to him, my body tense as I just barely held it together. He radiated a look of superiority. He tossed his hair back with a shake of his head, and I turned away, not wanting to confirm that I thought he was beautiful and add to his already swollen ego.

Spearmint wafted in the air. My stomach rolled because it now reminded me of him. I turned in the complete opposite direction, purposely covering my peripheral vision so I wasn't tempted.

"You mad at me, Sunny?" he whispered. My stomach twisted like a knife jabbing into me as his voice sang to my soul.
 

"You know my name now."
 

"I know, but Sunny fits you a hell of a lot better than Maggie."

"Listen—"

"Maggie, why don't you come up with something?" Dr. Atwater said, interrupting my conversation with Luke. Now he could hear us? I bit my tongue. I faced the girl who was standing in the middle and smiled at her, trying to be nice.

"What do you brush your teeth with?" I rattled off, my voice strained.

"Sausage," the girl answered, her face as serious as ever. I sat back in my seat, making a resolve not to talk to Luke again for the rest of class. I didn't doodle since Luke was so close to me. I didn't want to risk him seeing into my subconscious. So I just sat there in silence.

When Dr. Atwater dismissed us, I quickly grabbed my backpack and rushed out of the room, not wanting to have to talk to him alone.
 

Chapter Five

Luke

"Wait!" I honestly felt bad for teasing the girl so much, but I couldn't help myself. She was fun and daring, a little fire under her ass. "I'm sorry," I muttered, but she was already gone. I slowly started to pack up my Jansport black backpack, since I was in no rush to get home.
 

As I walked out of the room, I almost stepped on a balled up piece of paper. For some reason, it was magnetic, calling me to pick it up. I bent down and grabbed it, stepping aside so the girl behind me could walk past me. I unfurled the frayed edges, unwrinkling the main paper and flattening it on my thigh.
 

I knew Maggie drew this because I saw her doodling in front of me for the majority of class. It was a beautiful sun with intricate black lines that extended as rays. It took up the entire piece of plain white paper. She scrubbed out her name on the bottom, and it was too illegible for me to read.

I shoved the drawing into my bag and then walked out of the place. It was Tuesday afternoon now. I took a long breath as I prepared myself to go back to my parents' house. I was meeting with our family's realtor tomorrow to find an apartment. I could not get out soon enough, yet I couldn't go too far. It wasn't time yet.

I had only been at my parents' house for a month, and I was ready to kill someone. Either my mother or Liam most likely. Unfortunately, I had nowhere else to go. The lease on my apartment near UConn was up, so they forced me to leave. My friends had all gone their separate ways with new jobs and girlfriends. Finn was on the Rangers, Marcus still playing lacrosse at the University of Maryland, so their time was nonexistent these days. I was stranded.

My cell started vibrating as I hopped into my truck.

"Hello?" I asked, too busy stuffing my things in the back seat to check to caller ID. I held the phone between my shoulder and ear, awkwardly craning my head to the side.

"Brother! Where are you? I'm at mom and dad's, and you're missing in action." It was Lindsay, my eldest sister.

"I'm just leaving class. I'll be home in thirty."

"I'll be waiting!"
 

My phone beeped loudly, signaling that Lindsay had hung up on me. Well, I guess I didn't have much of a choice. I headed home. I rolled down the window, tore off my hoodie to reveal my button-up shirt from work, and blasted Bruce Springsteen as I drove the speed limit to my parents'.

"Brother dearest, how I've missed thee!" Lindsay assaulted me the second I got home. I dropped my bag in the entryway and lifted her in the air. I was closest to Lindsay out of all of my sisters because we had the same main goal—get us and our siblings the hell away from our parents.
 

She wasn't entitled like the other girls or bitchy and catty. She was down to earth, probably as normal as you could get, which was saying a lot in this household. We were all fucked up in different ways. Her one downfall was her asshole fiancé. I didn't understand what she saw in the guy. He resembled our father in many ways, which was about as shitty as you can get.

"I missed you too, Linds."

"How was the job?" she asked in a more quiet voice. She looked behind her as if checking to make sure that nobody was snooping.

"It was good. I was kind of surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did."

"I'm so glad." She finally let go of me and had to lean on her tiptoes to fix my shirt. Linds was the only sibling who knew about my many tattoos, and she loved that fact. She adjusted my collar, pulling it up to what felt like my chin.

"Why is it so quiet?" I asked as I pulled down my sleeves.

"We're all getting ready for a family dinner. Dad's here."

"Are you shitting me?" Father was never here. I banked on that asshole staying in hotels and hiding out with his mistresses for weeks at a time. I didn't want to face off with him tonight or any night for that matter.

"Language!" Mother called from the other room. I rolled my eyes at Linds. I couldn't handle this right now. I nodded towards my bedroom and heard Linds's footsteps behind me as she followed me up the stairs and into my room.

I truly wasn't much of a drinker, but if my father was in the house, I was going to need something strong to calm my temper. Lindsay was the only other sibling who understood the trauma of growing up here. Well, maybe Lilly knew now, too. Even though Lauren was old enough to remember, she worshipped the ground Mother walked on and refused to actually open her eyes to the reality of what was going on. She lived by the whole 'ignorance is bliss' motto.

Father was never home, cheated in both business and on his wife—typical shady business man. He physically abused Lindsay until I found out, which then made me his main target. Lauren was safe—the precious clone of our mom. Lisa was just around, under the radar. But he was untouchable to us. It started when I was ten, so what was I going to do?
 

I unlocked the lower cabinet of my cherry-wood desk with a key I kept on my car key chain. I pulled out a brand new bottle of Lagavulin. I needed the expensive shit tonight. I didn't have cups or anything, so I just took a long swig from the bottle, used to the fiery path as it snaked its way through my stomach.

"Let me get some," Linds said as she grabbed for the bottle. I handed it over. Linds took a sip as she jumped onto my bed and sat on the end. I put my bag in the corner of the room as I debated changing into more comfortable, less stuffy clothes.

"Children!" my mother called up from where I guessed she was positioned at the bottom of the stairs. "Dinner is going to be served soon!" I looked over at Linds and rolled my eyes. She took another sip, handed it to me and walked to the door.
 

"Let's go." I sipped it and then put it down on my nightstand. I walked down the stairs beside Lindsay.

We rarely used our dining room. Most of us dreaded family dinners and only had to endure them when my father was around—which again, was rare. A large china cabinet took up of most of the eastern wall, making the room feel dark with its cherry tones. A large twelve-person table sat in the center of the room.

I sat between Lilly and Lindsay, while everyone else scrambled to find a seat, nobody wanting to be stuck next to Dad. Of course, Lauren was at Mom's left side, Lisa at her right, so they could whisper all dinner long. I leaned back, widening my eyes as I realized all my siblings were in attendance. But the main shock was my father.

Father entered the room last, making a big spectacle of himself. His presence loomed, and immediately the air filled with a charged tension—like the first thunder in a torrential storm. When we were younger, any time he entered the room we were supposed to stand, but now I refused, along with some of the rest of us.
 

Mother, Lauren and Lisa—clone one and clone two—all stood when Father entered and smiled at him adoringly. I stared in awe and almost expected them to clap at his appearance tonight. My eyes caught with Liam's across the table, and we both widened our eyes at each other with disgust. I pressed my lips together to hide my scowl.

"I'm so happy we all could be here," Father said as he raised his hand and nodded at the three standing. They sat, scooting their chairs like they were taught in prep school—pure silence. Someone kicked me under the table, and I had to cover my mouth with my palm to hide my groan.
 

"Who would like to say grace?" my mother asked.
 

"Why doesn't Lisa say it tonight?" Father offered, looking over at the daughter wearing a white laced top that screamed innocence. She grinned and bowed her head, folding her hands over her plate like the perfect lady she allegedly was.
 

"First, I would like to thank God for bringing us all together tonight."