Forbidden Fruit: Volume 1 (48 page)

I huffed and began to pace, glancing over at Gordon. His hand ran through his hair, obviously frustrated that I interrupted his advances. I reached down for my panties and began to slip them back on.

“Angel, stop. Don’t do this. Let’s just talk calmly about this,” he protested and began to stand.

“Non!” I held up my hand stopping him right before he stood. He was staring at me, surprised that I raised my voice. “This isn’t right, Gordon,” I asserted as I picked up my bra and rushed to put it back on.

“It’s going to be fine, Angelina. Please don’t leave right now,” he pleaded as he attempted to grasp my hand. I snatched it away as I replayed his voice saying “I love you” to his wife in my mind.

“You are still in love with her and until you divorce her, we need to…” I wasn’t able to finish as Gordon captured both sides of my face and looked deep into my eyes. Pausing for only a second his mouth crashed onto mine, his tongue lashing at mine as if this were our last kiss. Or maybe that was really my thought as I let his mouth devour mine. I moaned into his mouth, wishing that he were
my
husband.
He belongs to someone else.

“Non!” I pulled away, angry that I gave in so easily. He let out an angry breath as his arms hit his thighs.

“What? What do you want from me?” he yelled using a tone I’ve never heard from him.

“You know what I want,” I snapped back just as angry and frustrated as he was. “I want you to divorce her.”

He took a step and ran his hands up and down my arms. “You know I can’t divorce her until the election is over with, Angel.”

With everything I had and taking a deep breath I resolved how it should be between us. “Well, then we can’t be together until after the election.” With that, I turned around and grabbed the doorknob, hoping that he would stop me. I pulled the door open as I prayed that he would say something…he didn’t.

My heart sank as I walked back to my room, unsure of my feelings. I knew it was the right thing to do, but somehow the deep disappointment that he didn’t come running after me was devastating.
One day
, I told myself. I would be in the arms of someone who truly loved me and would be mine and only mine.

Chapter
Two

Angelina

“You’re so young and so special Angelina. I love how you treat Mitchell and how you’re always there for him.”
Gordon’s words before our affair rang through my mind, as I tasted the mint of my toothpaste. Staring into my reflection, I ran the toothbrush back and forth along my teeth as I attempted to sort out my feelings.

After Jacques, I promised myself I would never fall for a married man again. I would never go through the heartache of loving a man that I could never have. But Gordon convinced me that we were perfect for each other. That he was different than any other man and that I was so special.
So mature for my age.

I undressed and slipped my nightgown on before sliding between the soft cottony sheets. I stared at the ceiling wondering if this really was different than with Jacques.
It is,
I tried to convince myself. I didn’t know Jacques was married in the beginning. When I found out, I tried to leave him. Pressing on, he convinced me that he needed me; although he never told me he loved me. He only promised that one day we would be together until I pressed for him to leave her. He finally told me he would never leave his wife and that I was a young fool to ever think that he would. Crushed and heartbroken, I left for England not long after. Getting as far away from him in order to try to forget him…and our affair.

A few months of being an Au Pair for a family in England, there was an opening in the states for the Winchester’s. My goal was to continue distancing myself from what happened and any thoughts of Jacques and what I had done.

Now I was involved with another married man. Or am I? Did I just break up with him? Or just put off our love?

“You’re so different than any woman I’ve ever met. You’re so young and full of life, nothing like Lauren. I’ve wanted to leave her for a long time now. Our marriage hasn’t been the same since she took office. We thought we could fix it by having a child.”
For weeks, I watched them interact with each other. They didn’t seem overly romantic and at times seemed slightly cool toward each other. They usually spoke of her campaign, which mostly resulted in one of them leaving the room frustrated.

Interactions between Gordon and me were simple at first, with the brush of our skin every once in a while or quick glances across the room, but the first real spark was while we were at the playground. I was usually accompanied by Mitchell’s bodyguard, Claude, but on that day Gordon insisted it would be just us, as Lauren needed the extra security for a certain event. Gordon’s security guard stood at the playground entrance, further than Claude usually stood.

We both chased after Mitchell at the same time and bumped into each other. I fell to the ground and he quickly helped me up. Pulling me up to stand quickly, our bodies crashed into each other. The firm steadying of his hand on my back sent shivers throughout my body. His hand lingered, the small pressure of his fingertips made my breath hitch.

Caring words and now our own personal joke about knocking each other over quickly turned into heated desire. Our walks together while Mitchell rode his bike as our hands brushed against each other added to it. Our first movie together, albeit a children’s movie, was exhilarating as his hand casually draped over the back of my seat. All of it added and slowly built up. Until one night…

“We can’t deny how we feel about each other any longer, Angel. You are made for me. I’ve asked Lauren for a divorce.”
I held off on his attempts to be with me until he said those words. He was going to be divorced soon, so we could actually be together. He, unlike Jacques, was going to leave his wife. Our first night together was so…amazing. We spent the whole night making love. Over and over again, he took me and captivated me.

The following day when Lauren returned from her trip, they spoke with each other as if nothing were different between them. Gordon explained later that they were doing that in front of Mitchell. He insisted they were still divorcing and nothing would change what he promised me.

Gordon would meet me at a nearby park after I dropped off Mitchell at pre-school. We had three hours together each day. Sometimes he would sneak into my car and we would make love. Other times, he would reserve a hotel room, which we would enter separately. When Lauren left town for business, Gordon would visit me in my room – until the night Mitchell knocked on my door, needing me because he had a bad dream. After that, I went to Gordon’s room upon making sure he had already “spoken” with Lauren or that they weren’t going to speak that evening.

The more I thought about tonight, the angrier I became. He told me they didn’t say ‘I love you’ anymore. He insisted that they weren’t nice to each other except in front of Mitchell. I was always with Mitchell, so that’s all I ever saw. I’ve never seen them together without being in front of their child, except tonight. Tonight he told her he loved her. They acted as if nothing were different. He had promised me he was leaving her.
After the re-election.

Outrage flashed through me as I pressed my lips together, letting it take over.
Dammit.
He’s fooling me. He’s lying to me. He’ll never leave Lauren for me. Jacques never lied to me like this, did he?

I curled onto my side facing my window and stared into space. Trying to calm my ire, I took in deep breaths as I sorted through my thoughts. Empty promises. That’s all these were from Gordon and had I not been in there tonight to overhear him professing his love to her, I would still think he really truly loved me.
And only me.

A tear slipped down the bridge of my nose and onto my pillow. Not bothering to try to wipe the ones that followed I chastised myself that I’m just a fool — again.

There was a knock at my door and I sat up quickly, thinking it was Gordon. My heart picked up as I envisioned that he’s here to tell me how much he loves me and beg for my forgiveness. Excited, I ran to the door and whipped it open. Gordon wasn’t there as I continued to stare ahead wondering if I really had heard a knock.

“’Lina, I had a bad dream again,” a little voice squeaked out. I looked down to see Mitchell’s cherub face and swollen blue eyes. He rubbed them and sniffled quickly. I scooped him up in my arms, forgetting about my anger for his father. Carrying Mitchell down to his room, I cooed, telling him everything would be fine. My frustration with his father would have to wait until tomorrow. Mitchell’s feelings were my priority tonight and calming him down, might set aside my annoyance for his father.

Chapter Three

Angelina

The next morning I showered and took a little while longer to dress, knowing Mitchell would oversleep because of his interrupted sleep last night. I wrapped my hair into a loose bun with shaky hands, hoping to keep my hair out of my face.

After spending quiet time with Mitchell to help him fall back asleep, I had time to think things through last night. This was not how I wanted my life to be, nor was I going to be made a fool of again. I was going to confront Gordon today. He was going to tell me the truth, once and for all. I nervously buttoned my blouse, knowing that I may not like the outcome if I gave him a final ultimatum.

Lauren was due back tonight and I knew I would have the evening off so she could be with Mitchell again. She’s such a wonderful mother to him. She always wants to shower him with affections after being on a trip. It’s too bad she wasn’t like that with Gordon or maybe their marriage wouldn’t be troubled.

I roused Mitchell just in time for school. I dropped him off and hurried home to confront Gordon. Determined to get what I had to say off my chest, my strides were long and confident. Taking a deep breath, I clutched the door handle to his office and began to turn it when I heard Gordon’s voice.

Pressing my ear to the door, I overheard Gordon speaking to someone. “No, I know that, Lauren.” I continued to listen since it was with his wife. Most of their conversation seemed to be about business until the end. My breath hitched and rage surged through me as I listened to him profess his love to her and how he would make love to her tonight; how he would take her, just like he had taken me last night. My stomach rolled and I felt sick as I gripped the doorknob tighter.

Hearing nothing more, I pushed the door open. A frenzy of words came to mind and I faltered to get them out. He startled at first and then stared over to me questioningly.

“You!” His brows pulled in upon hearing me shout. He stood hastily and passed me, rushing to close the door so the servants wouldn’t hear. I turned and continued, “You promised me! You said it would be us. Together!” I swallowed, looking around for more words in English to throw at him and when I couldn’t find them, I spat out a flurry of words in French, chastising him for lying to me.

He approached me, slowly as a hunter would his wounded prey. His eyes had a glint of excitement to them. Reaching out to touch my shoulder, I slapped his arm away, not wanting the warmth of his hand as I continued my rant.

Gordon grabbed me and pulled me into a tight embrace. His soft lips scraped against my neck as he whispered into my ear, “Shh. My Angel, shh.” I began to sob feeling all my anger and frustration coming out.

“Sweetheart, you overheard me?” I nodded my answer into his shoulder as my tears continued to flow.

“I heard it all. How you were going to make love to her, the way you made love to me last night.” I wept as his hands rubbed soft soothing circles along my back, attempting to calm me. Soft kisses from his lips felt so sincere along my neck and I found myself both wanting them and hating them at the same time.

“No, Angel. I told her those things to keep her thinking everything is all right. After the re-election, remember? I told you after the re-election I’d divorce her. Baby, please believe me.”

I snapped my head up. “Non, non! You tell me these things. I know it. You’re just saying these things to me.” Pushing my arms against his chest, I tried to step away from his embrace, but he squeezed tighter.

“I tell her these things so that we don’t argue. You don’t want Mitchell to hear Lauren and me yelling, do you?”

I glanced around the room, knowing that is the one thing I truly hate about this affair; taking away Mitchell’s happy home at such a young age, the same way my father was taken from me and my brother and sister’s life, all for my selfish reasons of wanting Mitchell’s father for myself. Right now, all he knew was everything was all right because that’s how Gordon and Lauren expressed themselves in front of him.

I nodded, knowing I’d never want Mitchell to be hurt.
But that’s what you’re going to do
. The thought screamed from the back of my mind. Jacques and Mariana didn’t have children. I discovered that after I found out about her. And met her. I realized she was a horrible person and I was able to justify the affair in my head. This affair with Gordon would only end up hurting Mitchell and from what I’ve seen with Lauren, she was usually a kind person, at least in front of me. I was going to hurt her too because we were being selfish.

“Then we need to end it. For now. Until the end of the re-election and you make your final decision to be with me. I can’t continue to possibly hurt Mitchell, unless you are positive you will leave Lauren because you no longer wish to be married to her. I can’t be hurt like this again.”

“What do you mean ‘again’?” I realized then I hadn’t told him about Jacques, not that he seemed to care as he took a deep anxious breath. Running his fingers through his hair, he pleaded, “Angelina, I will divorce Lauren. I will be with you. We don’t need to end what we have between us until then. We will be together, I promise you.”

I wanted to believe him so badly, but in my heart of hearts knew I couldn’t. I shook my head knowing I was making the right decision for both myself and for Mitchell. “I can’t do this, Gordon. I can’t. I never wanted to hurt anyone and here I am doing exactly that. I never wanted to be the other woman. I never wanted to take away a little boy’s father from…”

“But you’re not,” Gordon interrupted and then continued to try to convince me. “You’re not. I’m leaving Lauren, regardless of what happens between us. Angelina, please believe me,” he implored with his eyes, deep and full of sincerity. I tried to walk away, but Gordon’s mouth was on mine with a swiftness that took my breath away. His lips were full of promise, his body pressed against mine hard and hungry for me.

His phone rang, interrupting us from going any further with our desires and allowing me to attempt to think properly. He pulled away reluctantly as he stalked across the room, seemingly angry at the phone call. He picked it up and hastily said his name. I knew immediately from his tone change, it was Lauren.
His wife.
I pressed my lips together to hold back any further tears and knew I had to make my decision. It has to be over with Gordon. I wasn’t going to be the home-wrecker. If he decided to leave Lauren for himself, then we would be free to start a true relationship with each other.

I turned and started toward the door when I heard Gordon tell his wife, “Hang on for a second, honey.” The phone click and Gordon ran across the room, grasping at my hand. He wrapped his arm around my waist and again pulled me into a strong embrace.

“Please, baby, please don’t end this.” He placed his strong loving hands on each side of my face and gazed deeply into my eyes. “I promise we’ll be together. I swear it to you, Angelina. I love you. I love you with everything I have. Soon we’ll be together.”

I wanted to believe him, especially as his eyes begged me to trust him. I closed my eyes trying to think clearly, but as his lips collided with mine, I felt his love, his desires and his need for me to trust him.

The phone beeped to alert him there was still someone on hold. His wife was still on hold, just like my heart was going to have to be on hold for him. He stared at me with desperation, as if I had to believe him or he’d die. I swallowed, still unsure of what I should do. He bent down to peck my lips again as I whimpered, wanting to believe him. Wanting to know it was really me he loved. Am I a fool? Am I stupid for believing him again?

“I…I need time to think about this. I don’t know if I can believe you. I just…” the phone beeped again taking me from whatever decision I was making. To be honest, I didn’t even know what I was thinking. I was torn. I wanted him all to myself. I wanted to believe he would leave her to be with me. But I was the whore here. I was the one that would eventually rip the family apart. I would be the one that would break a little boy’s heart.

“She’ll be home tonight. I know it will be difficult for you to see me speak with her, but know that every moment that I’m with her, I’m thinking of you. I’m wanting to be with you. I’m longing for nothing but to be in your arms. To make love to you, to be within your warmth. I love you, Angelina. I love you so much.” He kissed me again as the phone rang out again, the sound seemed like it was angrier than before, if that was possible. “I have to get that. Wait for me in your room and I’ll come visit.”

Surprised, I looked to him. We
tried
never to sleep with each other at the house during the day for fear the maid would hear us as she cleaned the upstairs. I shook my head knowing that could possibly alert someone to our affair.
Affair.
That’s all this was. I lowered my gaze and shook my head. I had to end this now.

“Non, I’m so sorry, Gordon. For now, at least we need to end this. I’m so sorry.” I turned and started to walk out the door.

“Just a little longer. That’s all I’m asking for,” he begged as he held my hand and squeezed. “Please.”

“We’ll see,” was all I could verbalize, knowing I was going to break into tears. I quickly raced for the door and left.

Walking at a fast pace in the cool weather, I tried to gather my thoughts about what to do. I should stop this. I need to stop this. The thought of not being with Gordon any more, the thought of his hands no longer on my body created an emptiness within me. A void that I wasn’t sure could be replaced. The reasonable side of me realized this was the same feeling I had after Jacques. I thought my life would end. But it didn’t. I inhaled a cool deep breath, knowing it would help clear my head. I would be fine without Gordon, just like Jacques, wouldn’t I?

I glanced at my watch and realized I needed to turn around so I could pick up Mitchell from school. I wiped my tears and sniffled, finalizing my decision. It was over with Gordon. I could live without him, but how long could I continue working in his household? Seeing and interacting with him every day would be very difficult. I had to be strong for Mitchell and continue until the end of the campaign, when Lauren would be able to search for a replacement for me.

Feeling better about my resolution and knowing it was the right one; I quickened my pace until I reached the house. I turned the corner and looked up. Gordon was leaning against my car, well the car they loaned me to drive Mitchell to activities and school. My heart ached upon seeing him, knowing I had to stay firm, while my body wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, to hear his loving words and to feel his lips all over my body. I inhaled deeply again and hoped the cool air would bring me back to reality. My decision was made and now I needed to remain firm on my stance.

“What are you doing here? Someone could see,” I chastised him, hoping my annoyance would help me keep my resolve.

“Let them see. What can they say? I’m a loving father going to pick up my child with you,” he tried to reason as I walked around the car, trying to ignore my desire to be held by him and stick with my choice.

He opened the passenger door for me and I slid into the seat as he quickly walked over to the driver’s side, my heart beating as the anxious feeling swept over me.

Torn between wanting him and knowing what I needed to do made my heart hurt. I took a deep breath as I watched him slide the key into the ignition and turn the car on, trying not to say anything.

“Angelina, it will be just us one day. It will just take some time.” He put his hand on my thigh and started to rub lightly.

I kept quiet and forced my attention at the scenery passing by. Trees and cars all blended together as I contemplated my own road in life to choose. We both sat quiet, although there were small huffs coming from Gordon every once in awhile. It was as if he were trying to figure out how to make this work.

The car stopped and I looked around at our location, wondering what he was thinking. The surroundings weren’t anything familiar to me and it seemed we weren’t near the school.

“Hear me out, Angel. It’s just a little longer of playing this silly game. I have to make sure it all goes smoothly so that we can finally be together. And we
will
be together.” His hand reached around my neck as he leaned forward.

As much as I wanted to pull back from his advance, it was as if I wanted one last taste of him. His lips touched mine tender and passionate, begging me to open mine. As I did, his warm tongue met mine, devouring me with need. He leaned over further and pulled the latch to my seat, flipping it to recline and taking the breath out of me.

He chuckled and his cognac eyes sparkled deviously. Fully on top of me, he pulled at my skirt, clutching my thigh as he begged me, “Don’t leave me, baby. Please trust me.” His tongue swept over the tender skin on my neck, sensuous and full of longing. I moaned as my thoughts of leaving him diminished with every seductive kiss he laid upon me.

His hands reached under my blouse, tugging at my lacy bra. His hand grabbed my breast as I pulled him closer to me, no longer fighting what it is we have between us. I lifted my leg, catching the heel of my pump on the window ledge, allowing him full access to what we both really wanted. His hand groped at my swollen tender flesh, the center of both our desires.

“Wet. So fucking wet already. Your panties are soaked with your need for me. You don’t want to leave me. I know you don’t,” he hoarsely whispered as I heard the sound of his zipper and pants unbuckle.